by Jessie G
Even more turned on by the angry display, and the semi-hard cock swaying with Liam’s emotions, Billy didn’t think. Just lifted the phone, swiped to answer, and said, “Fuck off.”
“What the fuck?” the woman’s voice sounded distant—as if she was holding the phone away from her ear. Probably staring at it incredulously. He didn’t care and was getting ready to hang up when a second voice said, “Maybe Micah gave us the wrong number.”
“Wait!” Billy closed his eyes, blocking out his own personal porn show, and asked, “Micah? Micah and Garrison… That Micah?”
It had to be because Micah had given them a phone number too. One they hadn’t planned on calling until after Liam spoke with Javier’s therapist. Having finally come clean about his fears, Billy knew he wasn’t equipped to help him. Support him, yes. Be by his side, hold his hand, and love him, absolutely. But none of those things would help Liam not be afraid of himself.
“Yes, that Micah. Is this Billy Mason?”
Fuck. Billy opened his eyes. Double fuck. Liam had come closer, their knees touching, his bare body no match for the naked longing in his eyes. They weren’t ready, but there was no way he could resist that look.
“Yes, sorry, this is Billy.”
“Is that how you answer the phone?” Voice clearer, the woman’s anger was real and totally on point. Normally, he wouldn’t care, but nothing about this call was going to be normal.
“Cam, please.” The second voice was still distant, worried and filled with the same longing that was staring down at him.
“You want our kid’s father to be an asshole?”
Billy choked back the urge to say that if she was calling him, that was just something she was just going to have to accept.
“I just want a father so we can have a kid!”
The wail could probably be heard across town and Liam jumped into his lap, grabbing for the phone. Billy held it firmly with one hand and Liam back with the other. “Stop or I’ll hang up.”
“I’ll never forgive you,” Liam threatened.
That was probably true, but one of them had to be rational. “Liam, baby, we had a plan…”
“Plans change! Please, Billy…”
“We had a plan too, asshole,” their caller growled.
“And our plans are changing faster!” There was some fumbling on the other end of the line and then that second voice—that desperate, pleading voice—said, “Please don’t hang up.”
It was a mistake; he was sure of it. He should hang up, turn his phone off, and worry about doing damage control here. Because no matter how badly they wanted a child, Liam’s mental health had to come first even if it meant losing out on their chance with the couple Micah recommended.
The two women were actively looking. They didn’t need to wait around for them to work through their issues, and that was fine. There were other surrogates, and when the time came, friends who would help them afford one.
“Billy.” Suspiciously subdued, Liam had pulled back enough to put a few inches between them. “It can’t hurt to hear them out.”
Except it could. Liam would get his hopes up and, truth be told, Billy knew he would too. Until Liam mentioned little Masons, he had never once considered becoming a father and not just because he was gay. He was a former gang banger, an ex-convict, and a disappointment to his family. Rebuilding those relationships was only possible because of the man in his arms, but he had zero confidence in his ability to be anyone’s parent.
He still wasn’t a hundred percent certain he could do it, but he firmly believed Liam would rock the shit out of that role. If he could let the past go. Without that step, they were two damaged men who had no business making a baby.
“If your man is giving you the same look that my wife is giving me, we’re both screwed.” That commiseration was the final straw.
“Yeah, and not in the fun way I was hoping for.” If this call didn’t go right, he might never get the chance again. “Cameron Ashely-Drake, I presume?”
Cameron and Corey, if his memory was correct. Together for twelve years, married for three. Cameron was a public defender and Corey was a social worker. And they were looking for a gay couple to co-parent with. It would be a perfect scenario down the road. Now? Billy didn’t know.
“That’s what my driver’s license says, but everyone calls me Cam.”
“Even assholes like me?”
“For now.” Cam sighed. “Guess it’s not totally your fault. It’s New Year’s Eve. We called without warning. You were close to getting laid.”
All true statements, but there was no real fault. In fact, he didn’t want to start this particular conversation laying blame for anything.
“It’s fine. Micah gave us your number too, so this could have gone either way. Who knows what we might have interrupted if we had called first?”
“With any luck, the same thing.”
If you had told him five minutes ago that he would be talking about sex with two women, he would have laughed until he cried. Now, he just wanted to cry. Cam was his kind of people. Inappropriate, easily annoyed, and totally wrapped around her wife’s finger. He didn’t want to like her so quickly, with so little information, and he didn’t want to make any life-altering decisions because he recognized a kindred spirit.
“There are reasons why we were waiting.” It wasn’t an excuse; he didn’t know them well enough to give them that. He said it to remind himself to stand strong against the longing in Liam’s eyes.
“We can’t wait and, though I don’t know your reasons, ours have an expiration date.”
In the background, he could hear Corey whispering and knew Liam was just as eager to get in on the conversation. “Why don’t we get together and talk about it in person?”
“Probably smart, but… Look, if everything works out, we’ll have the time to get to know each other and hopefully come to like one another. But we don’t want to get our hopes up if you’re going to turn us down. So, maybe hear what we have to say now, and then take a few days to think about it. If you’re interested, we’ll meet. If not, then you’re just two strange voices on the phone.”
Billy considered that. If they met, they would be real people with faces and personalities and everything Liam would need to build his hopes. Oh, who was he kidding? That shipped had sailed as soon as Liam realized who was on the phone.
“I’m going to put you on mute for a few minutes.”
He didn’t wait for a response, just clicked the button and set the phone aside. Then he took Liam’s hands and pulled him closer until their foreheads were pressed together. “You are my priority, Liam. First, last, always. So, I need to know that if we have this conversation, if we decide to meet and move forward, and all the miracles of modern medicine align… I need to know that we are still going ahead with our plan to talk to Javier’s therapist.”
“Yes!” The word was hovering there long before he got the question out, Liam was that eager. If he’d left it at that, Billy wouldn’t have believed him and they both knew it. “I swear, Billy, and not just because I want to hear what they have to say. The past has controlled me long enough. I don’t want it messing with my head anymore and I don’t want to live in fear. So, yes, absolutely! I’m going to do whatever it takes to fix myself.”
“There’s nothing to fix.” It wasn’t the first time Liam used those words, and it only reinforced Billy’s belief that he wasn’t the right person to help him. Someone smarter than him, with a shitload of initials after their name, needed to convince Liam that he was perfect just the way he was. “You’re hurting, but you’re not broken, and you never were.”
“Sometimes, it feels like I am and that’s why I have to do this. I can’t be anyone’s father as long as I feel that way.”
And that was his second worry. “Liam, you have to do this for yourself first. Not for Chris or me, and not for a baby we may or may not have in the future.”
“I’m doing it for all of us. Don’t you understa
nd?”
Unfortunately, he did.
“And if we don’t have a baby?” When Liam shook his head, refusing to hear his concerns, Billy pushed. He had too. “What if we hate them? Or the procedure fails? Or any of the million things that could go wrong does? What then, Liam?”
“Billy, please…”
While there wasn’t much he wouldn’t do when Liam said please, he couldn’t take one more step without knowing the answer. “I would give you the world if I could, but if I can’t, if this doesn’t work, are you still mine? I need to know, Liam. Can you be happy with just me?”
“Of course!” Looking and sounding thoroughly insulted, Liam demanded, “Do you think I would leave you if we couldn’t have a baby?”
“Maybe not physically.” But Liam had retreated into his own head before.
“I’m here with you. We’re getting married and we are going to be so disgustingly happy, everyone will get sick of us. With or without a baby. It’s me and you first, last, and always.” Liam grabbed his face, holding him tight. “And whether or not you want to hear it, that’s a big reason why I have to get my head on straight. Whatever happens will be on who we are together. Not because I carried my past into our future.”
“And if I want to get married right now?” Before Liam ‘fixed’ himself or they came to an agreement with Cam and Corey, or any of the other potential what-ifs. Because Billy needed Liam to accept him no matter what, in good times and bad, just as they were. And he thought Liam might need the same reassurance. “Warts and unknowns and all. Can we do that?”
“No.” Liam’s whisper cut him deeper than he was expecting. “It’s a holiday, silly bear. The office is closed.”
Teasing or not, that ‘no’ would haunt him for a long time. “You’re so lucky I love you.”
“I really am, Billy.” Liam laughed softly. “And I will happily go with you on Tuesday to make it official.”
They had considered and discarded various wedding plans over the last few months, from eloping to some romantic hideaway like Chris and Owen to an all-out family affair like Bull and Red. Big or small, all the planning and expectation was daunting as hell. Too much pressure, too many chances for things to go wrong, and with an audience to boot.
Marching into City Hall on a Tuesday morning? That was totally doable.
“I’ll hold you to that.”
“I’d be disappointed if you didn’t.” Liam tightened his hold and brought their lips together, sealing their promise with a kiss that made everything right.
A smarter man would have insisted they stick to the original plan. Wait. Make everything perfect, including themselves, and go from there. But a person can waste their whole life waiting for the perfect moment or they could create one for themselves.
Self-help crap aside, all that mattered was knowing they were doing it together—for better or worse—and that made it easy to unmute the phone and ask, “Are you still there?”
There was a beat of silence, then another, then a breath of relief. “We’re here. Can we… Is this a good time to talk?”
As Liam nestled against his chest, Billy put the phone on speaker and agreed. He didn’t know how it would play out or if he was making the right decision but saying no wasn’t an option.
Chapter Three
Corey
“Thank you. I’m, uh, I’m Corey. Cam’s wife.” Corey cleared her throat. “I guess you already knew that, though, huh?”
“Oh, good, I’m not the only one who’s nervous.” A shaky chuckle accompanied that honesty and Corey felt the knots in her stomach loosen. “I’m Liam, by the way, Billy’s fiancé. We’re both on the line.”
“Yeah, okay, us too. Cam and me.” Shit. She needed to stop stating the obvious. “So, uh, Micah and Garrison spoke very highly of you both.”
“Yeah? They had great things to say about you both as well.”
Corey nodded. They couldn’t see it. She knew they couldn’t see it. But her head bobbed anyway and kept bobbing because she didn’t know what else to say. As a social worker, she was usually good at talking to people and was often praised for her ability to work well under pressure. Those skills seemed to have taken a vacation and while no one would accuse Cam of being a people person, she was the only person Corey would look to for help.
Her wife looked back incredulously and mouthed, “You want me to do the talking?”
Normally, the answer was absolutely not. This required a finesse Cam simply did not have, and as with all sensitive situations, Corey usually paved the way first. But how to do that now? Fuck if she knew.
“Micah doesn’t have it in him to say a bad thing. I just hope they were honest.” Unaware of the battle of wills raging at their kitchen table, Billy’s cautious words were a relief. As long as it wasn’t an outright no, they would take anything to move them forward. “As much as we want to hear what you have to say, it’s important that you know who we are. You may decide we’re not the men you want to have this conversation with.”
Or maybe not. Were they priming them for rejection before they even got started?
Cam must have thought the same thing. Spine stiff, frown firmly in place, her default setting switched over, and she went on the offensive. “I’m a public defender, remember? When Micah gave us your names, I did my research. So, I have your record, Billy, as well as the very brief, not very helpful notes on Liam’s fraudulent incarceration. If there’s one thing we don’t know or understand, it’s why he never pursued legal action. Was he protecting his brother?”
The silence on the other end of the line redoubled the knots that were just beginning to ease, and Corey felt her heart sink. Lord knew she loved Cam dearly, but this was not a cross-examination. Honestly, if they didn’t have an audience, she would have screamed. As it was, all she could do was mouth back an angry, “Really?”
The stubborn tilt of Cam’s jaw was usually a turn on, as was the protective streak that made her ask intrusive questions. Her need to uncover every little detail and penchant for coming out swinging made her a formidable opponent in the courtroom. Outside of it, she was a lot to take and only the strong made it into their tight-knit social circle.
For Billy and Liam to be contenders, they would have to be the strongest yet, and Corey knew Cam viewed this first conversation as a test. If they could handle her, then maybe they would set up a face-to-face. If not, well, there was a long list of prospects that had already been discarded and each one was another reason to wish her wife would stand down just once.
“My brother and I just wanted to put that time behind us,” Liam whispered. “That’s it. There’s no secret to root out, no ulterior motive. We just wanted peace and filing a lawsuit wasn’t going to bring us that. Money, some scapegoat to take the blame for putting us there—none of that could undo what was already done.”
Corey glared at her wife. They had discussed this ad nauseam and had agreed that it wouldn’t be a factor in their decision. Stepbrothers protecting one another—it was something Cam could and did admire.
But she pushed because she knew no other way. Relentless and unyielding, once she caught a scent, she couldn’t let it go. Even if it wasn’t necessary or worse, a detriment to her objective. Finding balance was her daily struggle; one Corey tried to be supportive and understanding of. But this time? No. Liam wasn’t a witness to crack, and they would not be using what they knew to break him down.
“I’m sorry.” It was a rare day that those two words passed Cam’s lips and Corey was grateful. “The lawyer in me only has one mode.”
“It’s fine.” The rushed words made Corey think Liam was cutting off anything Billy might have said, which was probably a more well-deserved fuck off than the one he greeted them with. “Like Billy said, you need to be sure we’re the guys you want to have this conversation with.”
“And we do,” Cam assured. “We made the call knowing who you were.”
“Do you—” Corey squeezed her eyes shut. “—want to know who we a
re?”
“Yes.” The two men spoke simultaneously and if Billy sounded more cautious, they could only be understanding. As first impressions went, they were lacking on all sides.
“Micah told us you were looking for another couple to co-parent with,” Liam added, providing the much-needed opening she was looking for.
“That is our goal, yes. Cam and I… Our families disowned us years ago and while we like to think we can do everything on our own, we want our kids to have more. As a social worker, I’ve delivered too many children to foster homes because they didn’t have a family to care for them when their parents wouldn’t or couldn’t.”
Given the slightest encouragement, Corey knew she could go off on this subject for hours. But sharing the heartbreaking stories of homeless children would be unfair emotional manipulation. Even if it was the catalyst behind their own decision.
“If I could have taken them all home with me, Cam and I would have found a way. But until a few years ago, being a ‘same-sex couple’ disqualified us before we even filled out the paperwork.” Corey was glad the laws had changed, and they hadn’t ruled out adoption down the line, but this call was about making another dream come true. “So, it’s important to us that our children have other people in their lives.”
“You want them to have a family that will care for them if you can’t.” Billy’s voice was low, soothing, and the relief she felt at his instant understanding was overwhelming.
“We want them to have a family period. People they can count on and learn from, and yes, people who will take care of them if we can’t.” Corey reached for Cam’s hand, needing the strength her wife always provided. For so long, it had been them against the world. Asking for help didn’t come easy and admitting they couldn’t do it alone chafed, but it was the right thing to do. “Families come in all dynamics and the two of us are just as capable of raising a child as anyone else. But if there were four of us? Think of the stability we could provide.”
A slim arm curled around her shoulders, encouraging her closer until she was crawling into Cam’s lap. Her softer curves always seemed to fit perfectly against Cam’s narrower angles, and it was a haven she sought often. Tonight, it might well be a place to hide if they didn’t get the answer they wanted.
