by Laura Pavlov
“Good attitude, Mon. Now put on something sexy and go to work. You’re dating your boss after all.”
I dropped to sit on the toilet as the reality set in. People at work would think we were dating now. No. They wouldn’t be trolling social media. This would go away, and no one would be the wiser.
“I’ll call you at lunch. I need to get to work.”
I quickly showered and got ready, praying that no one at Montgomery Media would get wind of this ridiculous story. We covered the news, not trivial gossip.
My brother phoned me as I walked toward the building and I answered with a less than charming greeting. “I hate you.”
He laughed. “It’ll blow over. Jack sure played his part though. I think Thelma was drooling over you two.”
“She was not. She was drooling over him. Did you see her licking her lips and pushing her ridiculous boobs toward him? The woman has no shame. Oh my gosh, can we even talk about the worst birthday gift ever? A boob job? What is wrong with her? How is Dad even with this woman?”
He chuckled once again. “I don’t know. Dad seemed pretty checked out. Sorry for getting you in this mess. Just tell her you broke up in a day or two and everyone will forget about it.”
“All right. I’m at the office. I need to go.”
“Love you, sis.”
“Love you, idiot head. And you can take all the calls from Becks about this. Goodbye.”
I heard him laughing as I ended the call and stepped in the elevator as a few people turned and stared once the doors closed. I rubbed my nose to make sure nothing was there and looked down at my dress to see if I had toilet paper stuck to me. Why were they looking at me like I had three heads?
I hurried off the elevator and down the hall to more ogling eyes. What the actual hell was happening? When I approached my office, Ford, Jack, and Harrison Montgomery were already there. Ford paced the room as Jack sat in a chair eating a cupcake and Harrison sipped his coffee.
“Um, hey. Am I late for a meeting?” I asked, dropping in my chair across from them.
“Good morning, schmoopie. We’ve got quite the shit storm going on,” Jack said with a smirk.
“This is not fucking funny, asshole,” Ford hissed, and I straightened my posture at his tone.
“Relax. It’s going to be fine. Monroe, Jack filled us in on the misunderstanding from last night, but unfortunately, your stepmother posting the pictures has caused a whole lot of havoc for the company. We’ve covered quite a few Me Too stories in this paper over the past few months and outed several large corporations for this type of practice. Having one of the owners of Montgomery Media dating a new employee who happens to work for him, not to mention the fact that you’re younger than him, well, we’re opening ourselves up to a lot of criticism.” Harrison was the middle Montgomery brother. From what I’d heard he was the most even-keeled and level-headed.
“I’m sorry about that. I should have anticipated that she might do this.”
“It’s fine, Blue Jay,” Jack said, popping the last of his cupcake in his mouth. He really was beautiful to look at. His dark hair was tousled on his head, and dark scruff peppered his chiseled jaw. Golden whiskey eyes locked with mine and butterflies swarmed my belly. I shifted in my seat.
Focus.
“It’s actually not fine, Jack. Every paper in the city is going to run with this story, just to poke at us. You own the company. You’re dating an employee. That’s not okay.” Ford’s tone was harsh and angry, and I reached for my water to calm myself down.
“We’ll break up this week. It’s not a big deal.” Jack pushed to his feet and walked over to stand beside the window.
“It is a fucking—” Ford shouted, and Harrison held his hand up and pushed to his feet.
“Relax, brother. Listen, we need to release a statement. This is how it’s going to play out. We’re going to say that you two have been dating for a while. We brought Monroe on and kept your relationship under wraps for privacy issues. So, you won’t be breaking up anytime soon. We need to let this blow over. And hopefully, neither of you have had any public, er, dalliances over the last few weeks, or you’re going to be called out for cheating.”
“That just might work,” Ford said.
“Wait, what? We have to pretend to date? For how long?” I gasped.
Jack smiled. “Come on, Little Bird. I’m not that bad, am I?”
“Um, yes. You are. For starters, you sleep with everything that moves, so people will think you were unfaithful. I don’t want to be the victim. Jesus. I’m going to kill Miles. And Thelma.”
“At least I won’t be able to testify against you, because we’re dating.” Jack laughed.
“Do you have a serious bone in your body?” Ford snapped at his younger brother.
Jack gazed down at his crotch. “Just the one. And he’s got a mind of his own.”
I rolled my eyes. “Have you been out in public with anyone recently? I don’t want to start this fake relationship off looking like the poor pathetic girlfriend who’s being cheated on.”
“Nope. I keep my relationships private. I’m not having sex in storefront windows. Unless that’s your thing? So, do we get to have any fun while we’re fake dating?”
“Jack.” Harrison gave him a warning look. “Monroe, I’m sorry about this. But we can’t have people saying that he started a relationship with an employee after we hired you. And we need to keep this as close to the chest as we can. You can’t tell anyone it isn’t real. It will run its course in a couple weeks and this will all be behind us.”
“Wait. So, this is for show and it isn’t real, but you’re saying I can’t sleep with anyone privately? I’m supposed to go with no sex for several weeks?” Jack’s face suddenly turned to stone. No happy-go-lucky smile in sight.
“That’s exactly what we’re saying. Keep your goddamned dick in your pants.” Ford stormed to the door.
“What’s his problem?” Jack dropped back down to sit in the chair and ran a hand through his hair, as the realization set in. We’d made a mess for Montgomery Media and it was my fault we were even in this situation.
“He’ll be fine. Let him cool down.” Harrison turned to me. “You going to be okay with this?”
“Yeah. Of course. I’m really sorry to have caused so much trouble.”
“It’s all right. You’ve got to love social media. Nothing’s sacred anymore,” Harrison said, clapping a hand over his brother’s shoulder. “Don’t antagonize Ford today, he’s got a lot on his plate. He’s worried about Harley working, he’s got two little girls on the way, and a bit of a shit storm with the press over this situation. So, stay out of trouble, got it?”
“Got it, Har bear. I’ll see you, Laney Mae, and Mom for dinner tonight. You want to join us Blue Jay? We are supposed to be dating.” I knew that Laney Mae was married to Harrison, as my brother Miles had attended their wedding not too long ago.
“No. I’m not going to start spending every evening with you. I’m not that kind of girlfriend.” I rolled my eyes.
“Well, I’ve got bad news for you. I’m a very needy lover. I like a lot of affection, a ton of attention, and whatever else you want to throw in. I will not have the press thinking my girlfriend doesn’t want to spend time with me.”
Harrison’s head fell back in laughter before he turned to give me an apologetic shrug. “He is who he is. It might not be a bad idea to be seen out in public a few times, and I know Mom and Laney would love to see you.”
I closed my eyes for a minute, processing the shitshow I’d created. Miles was going to pay for this. “Okay. Let me see if I can get all my work done today and maybe I’ll be able to squeeze in some time with my fake boyfriend.”
He chuckled. “You two need to be aware that people around the office are watching. So, for all intents and purpose, you’re dating. Leave the disdain for one a
nother behind closed doors. Obviously, Mom and Laney will know the truth so you can be more relaxed tonight, but when you’re in public—you’re a couple. Got it?”
“Yes. I’m totally fine with it. I was thinking I should settle down soon anyway,” Jack said with a wink.
I threw a pencil at him, and he caught it midair.
“I’ll write up the statement today and release it to the press. I’ll get you out of this as soon as I can. See you both later.” Harrison left the office and closed the door behind him.
I dialed my brother immediately and put him on speakerphone.
“What’s up, Mon?” he said.
“I’ll tell you what’s up. You’ve created a literal disaster for Montgomery Media. Now we have to pretend that we’ve been dating for a while. This is a mess, Miles.” I buried my face in my hands as I waited for his response.
“You there too, Jack?”
“Yep. I’m fine. Your sister looks like she’s about to lose her shit. I’ve never met anyone so upset about dating me. Everyone wants to date me.”
Miles barked out a laugh. “Easy, brother. You’re not dating my sister. You’re fake dating.”
“Potato, po-tot-o.” Jack chuckled.
“Shhhh… no one can know this isn’t real. Oh my gosh, Miles. What have you gotten me into?” I rubbed my temples.
“I hate seeing my girl upset.” Jack smirked.
“You’re enjoying this way too much,” I groaned.
He laughed and pushed to his feet. “I need to get to work. I’ll see you tonight. I’ll call you later, Miles.”
“You still there?” my brother asked on the other end of the line, as we sat in silence after Jack left the room.
“Yes. And I still hate you.”
“I think we should focus all of our energy on hating Thirsty Thelma.”
“I hate her too,” I whined, resting my forehead on the desk.
“There are worse things than fake dating San Francisco’s most eligible bachelor, you know?” he said.
“Name one.”
“Dinner with Thelma. Running into your least favorite herbs… Thyme and Sage.”
“Touché. You win.”
“Sorry I got you into this mess. Where do you have to go tonight?” Miles asked.
“Harrison thinks it’s a good idea for us to be seen out a few times, so I’m going to Napa for dinner. But at least his family knows it isn’t real.”
“Just do it for a few weeks. Hell, it’s good for you to get out a little and have some fun.”
“I’m hanging up on you now because I have to go to work. And fake dating is exhausting. Goodbye.”
“Love you,” he said before I ended the call.
I wasn’t happy about any of this, but I was in it, so I’d have to deal with it.
How hard could it be to fake date the hottest guy in town for a few weeks?
Painless, right?
Chapter Nine
Jack
“You need to relax. It’s just dinner.”
“I don’t like lying and all of this is based on a lie,” Monroe said as the helicopter settled on the ground in Napa. The flight from the city to my mother’s home was a quick up-down, and my brothers and I used the helicopter to commute back and forth often.
“My mom and Laney Mae have already been informed that it’s for show. It’s no big deal. You need to eat. I need to eat. We’ll be at my mother’s house for dinner, so there won’t be any pressure to act like we’re together. And I saw a dude outside of Montgomery Media snapping pictures of us as we exited the building. That’s all we need. Now we can relax for the rest of the night.”
She walked in silence until we stepped into the car I kept parked at the helicopter pad to commute to and from the winery.
“Okay,” she said as she buckled herself up before turning to face me. “I’m sorry for dragging you into this mess. I’m sure this isn’t going to be the most pleasant experience for you either. You know, depriving all the women in the city of all the sex.”
My head fell back in laughter. “What? I’m not a prostitute. Just a normal man with a healthy libido.”
She rolled her eyes. “Spare me the gory details.”
“It wouldn’t hurt to know a little about one another, seeing as we’re kind of in a relationship for the next few weeks. Fake or real—we’re going to be spending time together.”
“True.”
“So, you haven’t dated anyone since Cilantro?” I said, knowing it would lighten the mood. I knew his name. He just didn’t deserve to be mentioned.
“Thyme,” she said through her laughter.
“Ah, yes. The heroic herb.”
“After we broke up, I’ve just sort of taken a break from dating. So, this fake relationship works well for me because I was due for one.” She shrugged.
“You shouldn’t feel pressure to date. Do what feels right. Trust your gut.”
“Tell that to Thirsty Thelma. She acts like something’s wrong with me because I don’t have a boyfriend. But I’m not just going to date a random guy so that I can say I have a boyfriend.”
“Nor should you.”
I pulled in the long driveway leading to our family home. I led her inside, and Laney Mae hurried to the door to meet us. It smelled like warm bread and garlic. My mother was an amazing cook, and my stomach rumbled with anticipation.
“Well, if it isn’t the happy couple,” she said, as her laughter echoed around the foyer. “Hey, Monroe. I’m Laney.”
“She’s Laney Mae. She just likes to act all adult these days.” I wrapped an arm around her neck and kissed the top of her head.
“I’ve been Laney since second grade, Jack-ass. You and Ford just refuse to drop the middle name.”
“Nice to meet you, Laney,” Monroe said, making it obvious whose side she was taking on the name game.
“I already love you. Any chance this fake relationship could secretly be real?” she asked as we followed her in the kitchen.
“No chance,” Monroe said, and I rolled my eyes.
The girl acted like dating me was the worst thing in the world. There were a shit ton of women who would disagree, but no sense pointing that out for the millionth time.
“Monroe, hello. It’s such a pleasure to see you again. It’s been a long time.” My mother had met Monroe at a few college football games when Miles and I played back in the day.
“It’s so nice to see you as well. Sorry for the unusual circumstances, and for dragging your family into this little mess my brother created.”
“Don’t be silly. I’m happy to see my Jackie boy in a relationship, whether it be fake or real.” Mom winked and I rolled my eyes.
“Jesus, Mom. I’m not a whore,” I hissed. I was a normal mid-twenties dude who liked to date. I wasn’t banging multiple women in the same day or going to The Dark Temptress for twisted shit. I liked sex. And women enjoyed having sex with me. Sue me.
“I know, sweetie. But I’ve told you I’d like to see you settle down.”
I wrapped my arms around her from behind and leaned forward to kiss her cheek. I couldn’t be mad at her for wanting the best for me. I loved the shit out of her. She was my pulse, my reason to be better. After losing our father a few years ago, Mom, Ford, Harrison, and I really relied on one another even more so than we had before. Losing Dad had caused the earth to crumble beneath my feet. Family meant everything to me, and I knew my mother wanted my brothers and me to find what she and Dad shared. Ford and Harrison already had. I wasn’t quite there yet. But I wasn’t complaining. In all honesty, I preferred to keep my relationships light. I knew the pain of losing someone you loved. Loving someone meant that you had something to lose. I already loved my family so there was nothing I could do about that, but I wasn’t looking to add more people to that list.
C
asual worked for me. Fun conversation. Great sex. No strings. Nothing to lose.
Harrison waltzed in from the backyard. “Ah, San Francisco’s favorite couple is here.”
Monroe laughed and I flipped him the bird. “Nice press release, brother. Now the whole city wants to know our story.”
“Hey, I had to clean up the mess, and it wasn’t that far-fetched. You have known one another for years. You are her brother’s best friend. I just added the part that you couldn’t fight your love for one another any longer.” He laughed.
“It was sweet,” Laney Mae said, pushing on her tiptoes to kiss his cheek.
“It would make for a good story if we actually liked one another,” Monroe said.
I bumped her with my shoulder and scowled. “Hey. I do like you.”
“Oh. Sorry.” She burst out in laughter as did everyone in the kitchen before we made our way to the dining room.
No one made penne pasta in vodka sauce better than my mother. It was my favorite. A large salad sat in the center of the oversized farm table along with a basket of garlic bread, and I carried out the bowl of pasta and set it beside the salad.
“Wow. This looks delicious,” Monroe said.
“Thank you. It’s my specialty.” Mom passed the garlic bread to Harrison. “So, tell me, do you still run? I recall you were quite the running superstar in college.”
“Not competitively, but yes, I still run daily.”
“Didn’t you win nationals your senior year?” Harrison asked. “I read something about you being an Olympic prospect back then.”
“Jesus, dude. Did you stalk her?” I spewed, and everyone chuckled. I didn’t like that he knew more about her than I did. Harrison was an attention to detail guy—I wasn’t. But for some reason, when it came to Monroe Buckley, I wanted to know everything. I wanted to know things that no one knew.
“It’s called research. We hired her. It’s all available on this thing called the internet, dufus.”
Monroe finished chewing and dabbed at her mouth with her napkin and chuckled. “Yes, I won nationals my senior year, and I did think about training for the Olympics. But I also had this burning desire to start my career. Training for the Olympics is a full-time job, and there’re no guarantees. I realized I’d lost some of that passion after all those years of competing. I wanted to start living my life, I guess.”
