“Yeah, Dave, I’m also going to fake my death and steal someone else’s identity,” Jisu said. “But seriously, after being uprooted from Seoul and knowing it’s all going to happen again when I go to college, I’m trying not to take anything too seriously.”
“So you’re actually not taking this Phil guy seriously.”
“I do like him, but I’m also not going to be upset if it doesn’t go anywhere, you know? I’m not going to get involved in anything serious unless it really means a lot to me. With guys, with friendships, with everything.”
“I don’t know... It sounds like this guy has made the most lukewarm impression on you.”
“Stop! You’re going to ruin the date for me before I even get there!” Jisu threw the clicker at Dave. He caught it and flipped through the rest of the slides.
“I don’t think we really need another run-through. Aren’t you tired of staring at this?” Jisu asked as she looked up at the projector screen.
“No.” Dave looked at her. “Not at all.”
FEBRUARY 20, SAN FRANCISCO
DATE NO. 23
NAME: Lee Edward aka Eddie
* * *
INTERESTS:
Social Entrepreneurship, Banking, International Justice Mission
* * *
ACCOMPLISHMENTS:
United States–Korea Business Council Internship
* * *
EDDIE: You can just call me Eddie, by the way.
Jisu: Okay! So, Eddie.
EDDIE: So, Jisu.
Jisu: What was the last movie you saw?
EDDIE: Hmm. I don’t really go to the actual theater often...
Jisu: Oh, me either. I usually watch whatever’s on Netflix or Hulu. So, what’s the last thing that you watched then?
EDDIE: You’re going to think it’s boring.
Jisu: I won’t!
EDDIE: I wouldn’t blame you if you did. It’s about Watergate and the whole scandal during the Nixon presidency.
Jisu: I learned about that in US history! That was wild. In Korea, we don’t get that in depth into American history when we’re doing global studies, but I’m glad I learned about that.
EDDIE: Yeah, it’s actually interesting, right?
Jisu: Wait, I think I know what movie you’re talking about. We watched that movie in class and it was like the best thing. The movie was so long, we spent two entire class periods watching it. All the President’s Men. It’s like a super old-school movie.
EDDIE: That’s the movie-movie. It was pretty good. But the real thing is better.
Jisu: Real thing?
EDDIE: The documentary. It’s on Netflix. I had the flu a couple weeks ago and I couldn’t do anything but rest in bed. So I watched a million documentaries.
Jisu: You watched documentaries. In bed. When you had the flu?
EDDIE: I know. It’s super lame.
Jisu: No, I don’t think it’s lame! I think it’s more like a feat. Documentaries are like visual class lectures. I’d probably fall asleep.
EDDIE: This one was really good. Actual interviews with the real Woodward and Bernstein. Real footage, pictures and documents.
Jisu: What else do you watch? Outside of Ken Burns.
EDDIE: Ken Burns is a genius. But that’s a whole other conversation. And I won’t bore you with that. I like Anderson Cooper 360. Chris Hayes’s show is good, too. Also Rachel Maddow.
Jisu: So basically news shows?
EDDIE: Yeah but those are all my favorite hosts right now. And The Daily Show, of course. Sometimes I’ll even check out what’s happening on C-SPAN.
Jisu: C-SPAN?
EDDIE: Yeah, it’s like...hmm... I actually don’t know what the Korean equivalent of it would be. Basically, it’s a network that televises a lot of the federal government procedures. It’s public affairs programming.
Jisu: Oh...sounds...really informative.
EDDIE: It’s pretty dry, but every now and then something crazy will happen. Basically, The Daily Show takes all the interesting parts and puts it on their show.
Jisu: Gotcha. But you watch both The Daily Show and C-SPAN?
EDDIE: I find them both interesting enough. I’m more interested in global affairs, so it’s cool when they air their news conferences or general assemblies.
Jisu: Interesting...
EDDIE: I’m totally boring you, aren’t I? God, why am I talking about C-SPAN? How did we get here?
Jisu: No, it’s okay! International studies is one of my favorite classes in school.
EDDIE: Yeah, but in school. Not, like, in life. We probably shouldn’t even be talking about school. We should be getting as much of a break from it when we can.
Jisu: So, do you want to go to school in DC and move there? Sounds like that city would fit you the best.
EDDIE: I did apply to some schools there, like Georgetown, American and GWU. But we’ll see. Living in DC would be great though. I could probably actually attend the actual public hearings that I’ve been watching.
Jisu: That sounds...thrilling?
EDDIE: Yeah, actually! For me at least!
Jisu: I’m glad you know what you like. I’m still trying to figure my own thing out.
24
“Jisu!” Hiba yelled as she ran down the hallway a couple weeks later. It was early March, and college decisions were coming in. Jisu hoped Hiba had good news.
“What’s wrong—did something happen?” Jisu asked. Between Hiba’s wide eyes bulging out and her quick, rapid breaths, Jisu couldn’t tell if she had just received good or terrible news.
“Something happened. Something big.” Hiba took a deep breath. “I received my decision from Princeton last night and—“ Hiba let out a tiny squeak “—I got in! I got into Princeton!”
“Oh, my god, Hiba! You did it!” Jisu hugged her friend. They screamed and jumped up and down with the same enthusiasm as someone who finds out that they just won the lottery. Except, this feeling was better. Hiba had worked hard for this moment. It felt better than good. It was rewarding.
“What about you? You hear back from any place yet? I heard the rest of the regular Harvard admission decisions went out.”
Jisu wished Hiba hadn’t asked. They could’ve continued to revel in her success. But her question cut right through the celebratory mood.
The rest of the Harvard decisions had gone out, and Jisu had received her notice through the online portal yesterday. The subject was short and succinct; her heart had sunk when she saw it.
But it wasn’t a rejection.
Dear Jisu Kim,
In the last few months, the Admissions Committee at Harvard College has had the challenging task of reviewing applicants from one of the strongest applicant pools that the college has seen in years. At this time, we are pleased to offer you a position on our wait list.
Should you wish to accept this spot, please let us know by April 17. In May we will be reviewing the wait list and will then determine whether students from the list will be admitted...
Wait list. One half of Jisu had been relieved, but the other half was frustrated. More waiting? She was tired of waiting.
Take me in or cut me loose. Pick one. Pick me.
But when she’d called her parents to relay the news, they’d been surprisingly positive.
“It’s not a no!” Mr. Kim had said as cheerfully as he could. Jisu could imagine her mother was not as pleased, and her father was doing what he could to prevent the two of them from getting into a shouting match.
“Your father’s right. You can keep trying. It’s not over, Jisu,” Mrs. Kim had said as encouragingly as possible.
“I got wait-listed,” Jisu said to Hiba.
“Oh...” Hiba searched for the right encouraging words. “Well, it’s better than nothing! And it means you still have a shot.”
“Does it?” Jisu asked.
Waiting felt like a delayed no. Jisu wanted it to be over. She wanted all of it to be over. She was only a few feet from the finish line, and so many of her friends had already crossed it. It felt like the universe was playing a cruel trick on her and was moving the finish line farther away.
“Yes, of course! You should ask some of your teachers from your old high school for letters of recommendation and send them. You gotta send them all this extra stuff to sway them,” Hiba said. “Plus, I’m sure you’ll receive acceptances from other colleges rolling in any day now.”
“Yeah...I guess.” The thought of putting in even more work after all she had done felt daunting.
“You want a ride home?” Hiba offered.
“No, I’m good. I need some air. I’m gonna go for a walk.”
Jisu loved her friends, but they were all so much more accomplished than her. Euni and Hiba deserved all the success they could get—they worked so hard for it. But sometimes, it was hard being friends with overachievers.
Jisu stepped outside. While there were players in practice mode on most of the fields, the football field remained empty. She climbed up the bleachers and tried to empty her mind. She felt trapped in college purgatory and there was nothing she could do to wiggle her way out. Jisu leaned back and stared at a passing airplane. She took her camera out of her bag and snapped a few photos. She watched it soar through the empty sky until it disappeared.
Her phone dinged and vibrated. It could be Hiba sending an encouraging text, Euni and Min chatting away, Ms. Moon checking in about her last seon or her parents providing unsolicited academic advice. The phone felt heavy in her pocket. Jisu wanted to throw it across the bleachers and onto the empty field. But she checked her notifications instead.
It was good seeing you the other night. Wanna watch the new Star Wars movie this weekend?
Phil. Somehow a stranger she had gone on one seon with was the most consistent thing in her life right now. But stability in any form was welcome.
She looked back up at the sky and out to the fields and searched for something to stare at. The players on the soccer field dispersed and some of them walked off the field while others kicked a ball around. One walked in her direction. Jisu peered through her camera lens to get a closer look.
It was Dave.
He waved at her as he paced forward. His forehead was shiny with sweat and there were grass stains on his shirt. He looked tall and triumphant, like he’d just won a hard-fought match. Click. Jisu snapped his photo.
“What are you doing out here?” Dave hopped up the bleachers and joined Jisu in her row. Jisu’s nerves acted up as he approached. She came out here to clear her mind, but Dave’s presence was fogging it all up again. Her brain was like San Francisco the morning after a rainstorm—foggy and muddled.
“I’m just trying to clear my head,” Jisu said as she snapped a few more photos of the seagulls circling above them.
“Everything okay?” Dave asked.
Everything wasn’t not okay, but it wasn’t good either.
“All my friends are moving ahead in life and I’m stuck on a stupid wait list. Everything is perfect,” Jisu said. “Plus there’s a chance I might have to move again before the school year is even over.”
“Really? Move where? Are you leaving Wick?” There was a twinge of worry in his voice. It caused a twinge in Jisu’s heart and sent a shot of nervous excitement through her body. Chills ran down her arms through the tip of her fingers. Jisu placed her hand on the seat and could’ve sworn she felt a small electric shock.
“I don’t know yet. My host family might move to Texas, but they’re trying to figure out how to stay here through the school year for their daughter...and for me, too, I guess.”
“You can’t leave Wick,” Dave said. “It would throw everything off...with college apps and stuff.”
“Everything in my life was thrown off when I got on a plane and left Seoul. Dave, I’m really happy for you and all, but the Harvard early action is a million times more lax than what I’m going through now. You have no idea.”
“Not entirely. You’re making it sound like I’m some Disney princess leading a charmed life.”
“You mean you’re not a Disney princess?” Jisu laughed. “You don’t have tiny birds and rabbits wake you up in the morning and help you make your bed?”
Down below, the remaining soccer players walked off the field and back into the school building.
“Practice get out early today?” Jisu asked.
“Yeah, coach had a family emergency and cut it short. His mom’s been sick, so he’s been in and out. She’s super old, but I still can’t imagine it’s easy to see your loved one like that. I really hope everything’s okay.” Dave straightened his back and sat up. “But enough of my depressing talk. How’s your boy Philip? You go on that second date with him yet?”
“I did actually. It was fun.”
“What did you guys do?”
“We walked around and went to Dolores Park.”
“That sounds boring,” he said. The quick judgment from Dave was shocking. It was so out of character for him that Jisu was actually taken aback. She looked at him, a bit confused. He met her gaze and inched forward. Her heart quickened and she retreated an inch back as she straightened her spine. Jisu fumbled through her bag.
“It really wasn’t! I brought my camera and he even took some photos. He’s not bad. There wasn’t that much chemistry, but he’s kind of an interesting dude actually.” Jisu was rambling and she was talking so breathlessly and fast, her words were falling on top of each other. Stop talking so much! Two sides of her brain were fighting: one was making her chat nervously and the other was begging her to shut up. Jisu took her phone out and glued her eyes to the screen. Still, she could sense Dave lean over to her and close in on the already small amount of space between them.
“Actually, he texted me just a minute ago. He wants to meet up again.” She rushed through her words again. Stop talking! Shut up!
Dave peered over Jisu’s shoulder as she texted Phil back. The entire left side of her body tensed up as Dave leaned closer and closer. Her muscles strained despite her best efforts to be chill.
“Third date! What are you guys gonna do?”
Jisu looked up from her phone. Dave’s eyes were looking right into hers now. She felt like she would implode if she didn’t look away, but she couldn’t break her gaze.
“We’re watching a movie. The new Star Wars,” she said.
“Sitting next to each other for two hours and doing nothing?” Dave leaned in even closer now. His lips were so close to hers, but Jisu didn’t move away this time. Could he sense how fast she was breathing? Could he hear how much faster her heart was beating with each passing second? “That sounds...boring,” he said.
Dave closed the sliver of space between them and kissed Jisu. In the split second when their lips met and their faces fell into each other’s, it felt right.
And then Jisu remembered who they were. She was the single girl going on a third date with Phil this weekend...and Dave was Sophie’s boyfriend.
She yanked herself away. Dave looked just as shocked as she did.
“You shouldn’t have done that. You—I—We—” Jisu stammered. She picked up her bag and bolted.
“I’m sorry. Jisu, wait!” Dave called. But she’d already rushed down the bleachers and was running off the field.
That was a huge mistake. What was I thinking? What was he thinking? In that one moment, Dave had flipped their friendship upside down. How could he do that to her? Austin, Dave—American boys were all the same. They were all players in a game. A game that only benefited them. But Jisu knew Dave. And that wasn’t who Dave was. So why? Why did he do it?
MARCH 5, SAN FRANCISCO
DATE NO. 24
NAME: Kim Hy
unwoo
* * *
INTERESTS: Military History, Fencing
* * *
DISLIKES:
Laziness, Sleeping, Neckties
* * *
Hyunwoo: Jisu?
Jisu: Hmm? What?
Hyunwoo: I was just asking if you’d hit up any of the famous local food spots since you’ve been here.
Jisu: Oh! Sorry. I’m just a little out of it today. I didn’t get a lot of sleep last night. Umm...good food that I’ve had so far. Hmm...
Hyunwoo: If you haven’t already gone to El Farolito—
Jisu: I’ve been there! They have such good burritos.
Hyunwoo: Right? I always get the stewed chicken one.
Jisu: They’re so large. But so good.
Hyunwoo: So some of the Wick kids have discovered it.
Jisu: Um, I think people from Wick have been going there for some time now. Last time I was there, I was with...
Hyunwoo: You were with...?
Jisu: Uh, just some friends. Just friends. Which high school did you say you went to again?
Hyunwoo: Marin. We compete in the same league.
Jisu: Do you play any sports?
Hyunwoo: Yeah, soccer in the winter and lacrosse in the spring.
Jisu: One of my really good friends plays lacrosse and soccer! He’s pretty good. He’s good at everything he does. It’s kind of maddening.
Hyunwoo: Huh?
Jisu: Oh, nothing. So...have you been on a lot of seons?
Hyunwoo: Not that many. I was actually dating this girl for two years. We broke up several months ago.
Jisu: What happened?
Hyunwoo: Nothing bad. We just wanted different things. And I think we both knew it was going to happen sooner or later, especially with college coming up. Honestly, we could’ve ended things sooner, but you just get so comfortable.
29 Dates Page 24
