by Stacey Lewis
He starts to say something else, but Clay cuts him off. “Max! For fuck’s sake, stop acting like a douche. She said she doesn’t want to talk, so stop trying to make her feel shitty for something you did.” He looks over at Anna, then continues, “She’s going to her mom’s for dinner, so you’re SOL.” His brow furrows, so fast I think I might have imagined it, but then he nudges Max with his shoulder. “Speaking of mom’s, we should go to ours. I bet she’s got some kind of cake or brownies. Something sweet. Plus, you know she makes enough to feed an army every night anyway.” Clay raises a hand to wave dismissively before dragging his brother by the back of his shirt and away from us.
Anna watches them go, one hand on her hip, before turning to me with a look in her eye I’m a little scared of. “Well, isn’t that interesting.” I narrow my eyes at her, but she doesn’t elaborate. I want to ask what she means, but she bends over to grab my bag off the ground and slings it over one shoulder. She hums a popular song as she heads back to her car, and I’m left to stare after her in complete confusion.
Seven
Walking into the house we grew up in always makes me feel like I’m home, much more than the apartment I live in with my brother and cousin. This house always smells like food. There’s always something either on the stove or in the oven. It doesn’t hurt that Mom always sends us home with enough food to tide us over until the next visit. It’s like a reward just for coming over. That’s why I didn’t even hesitate to come here for dinner. Max needs the distraction of our family, and I’m in the mood for cooking that isn’t a sandwich, frozen pizza or fast food. Plus, my mom is the best cook I know.
The scent of homemade chili fills the air, and my mouth immediately begins to water. Chili means there’s more than enough for us to hang out and have dinner with our parents and Linc. Now I don’t feel the least bit bad for not giving Mom a heads up that we were coming. “Oh yeah,” Max says, pumping his fist in the air. “Dinner at Mom’s! This was an awesome idea, bro.” He’s got a huge smile on his face, the drama from not even an hour ago completely forgotten now that he’s going to be stuffing his face.
As we walk through the mudroom into the kitchen, I can see Mom at the stove, steam causing her dark hair to curl around her face. It’s a sight I’ve seen my entire life, and it makes me realize how much I miss coming home every day. I shake my head, wondering what the hell is wrong with me, but before I can dwell on it, she turns, face lighting up when she sees us standing in the doorway.
“My babies!” she shrieks, dropping the spoon into the pot and running over to wrap an arm around each of us. “I’m so glad to see you! Are you eating with us?” she asks, happiness evident in her voice. We both nod, and she smiles wider. “Oh good. There’s plenty to go around. I was going to bring you some tomorrow, so this saves me a trip.” Releasing us, she turns back to the stove but continues speaking. “Your dad and Linc are playing some football game on the Xbox. Go join them, dinner will be ready soon.”
Dad and my youngest brother Lincoln are sprawled out on the huge sectional that sits in the middle of the family room. It’s this big, grey, monstrosity that’s been here since I was in high school. One of those couches that you sink into and never want to leave. My mom’s been trying to get my dad to let her redecorate for a few years now, but he refuses because he loves the thing. It’s not that it’s ugly or an eyesore or anything, it’s just old and comfortable, and not the kind of seating my mom wants in a room people other than us will be in. Max takes a seat next to our father, who’s so intent on the play he’s running on the newest version of Madden that he pays no attention to the fact we’ve even entered the room. Linc stares at the screen, assessing the moves the other team is making and proving that even when he’s playing a game he’s thinking like a quarterback. It doesn’t keep him from turning to look at me and grin in acknowledgment.
“Hey, little bro.”
I ruffle his hair with one hand, my own grin wide as I return his greeting. I’ll never admit it, but I miss the ease that came with living here, hanging out with my brothers playing video games or running around outside when we were smaller. My mother is a saint for putting up with our antics. Max and I are only two years apart, with Lincoln following four years later. A junior in high school, he’s already got interest from a few big schools including UT, but he’s holding out for Florida, the traitor. I think dad’s head will explode if he accepts an offer from his alma mater’s rival, but he always encourages us to do our own thing, so he’ll be okay.
When dad’s turn is over, he notices Max and I are in the room. “Hey, boys. Heard your mom was making chili?” he asks, a warm smile on his face at seeing us.
“Nah,” I look over at Max, who’s shaking his head, not wanting me to snitch, but it’s too easy not to. “Max made an ass out of himself with Kat, so I figured he needed a distraction.”
Dad’s attention immediately shifts to my younger brother. His eyes narrow, and he asks with a frown, “What did you do to that poor girl?”
“N-n-n-nothing,” Max stutters with wide eyes before narrowing them on me. “It wouldn’t even be an issue if Clay hadn’t brought her over.”
Oh, how quickly we forget. “If you’d shown to pick her up like you said you would, I wouldn’t have had to step in. Or, you know, maybe you could give someone a heads up. I damn sure wouldn’t have brought her over if I knew you were getting your knob slobbed.” Dad looks between us, trying to figure out just what happened, and I see his eyes go wide at my last statement. But, before he can ask any questions, mom yells that dinner’s ready. Immediately the game is paused, and he’s herding us into the dining room.
I watch my brother relax as we eat, thinking he’s out of the woods. But I know my dad. He’s waiting for this moment, when Max’s guard is down so he can strike, and he gets him good. “So, Maxwell,” he pauses. “What’s this about not doing something you should have?”
Max chokes on the piece of bread he just shoved in his mouth, and it takes a second for him to recover. “W-w-what do you mean?” he asks between gulping breaths.
“Clayton,” he starts, using his spoon to gesture at me, “said you didn’t show to pick her up like you said you would.” Mom sucks in a breath, and I know she’s about to let him have it too. She’s been hoping for years they’d end up together and Kat would really be her daughter. And, she’d say we were raised better. Dad shakes his head, not taking his hard stare off Max, and she sits back in her seat, letting him take the reins. It’s a tactic that’s worked for them my entire life. All Mom had to do was threaten us with our dad’s wrath when he got home, and we’d stop whatever it was we were doing and behave.
My dad is a hardass, but he’s a fair one, at least usually he is. The only thing he’s not been flexible about is the fact that I need to take my place in the family business, hence my finance degree. I can think of about a hundred jobs I’d rather do that don’t involve having to wear a suit and tie every day, but there’s no way I’m letting my dad down. I’ll suck it up and deal with it for him and our family.
I tune back in to the conversation, and Max is trying to blow off what he did to his closest friend. “It wasn’t like that, Pop. It was just that something came up.”—He stops when I start to laugh and glares at me. I try to cover my laughter with a cough, but I fail miserably.
“Yeah,” I agree, “something came up all right.”
Max kicks me under the table and fuck it hurts. Little shit knows exactly where to kick for maximum damage. We stare across the table, each promising retribution silently, but we’re interrupted by our mother. “Maxie,” she says with a sigh, and the oft-used nickname for my brother makes me chuckle. It’s such a girlie name. Max looks down, not wanting to meet our mother’s eyes, knowing she’s disappointed in him. “It’s bad enough Clay tortures the poor girl. Do you have to make things worse?”
“Hey!” I complain. “Wait a minute. How’d I get dragged into this? I gave her a ride to the apartment after ‘Maxie’ here d
idn’t show to pick her up. It’s not my fault he decided it was more important to …” my father clears his throat, letting me know it’s time to shut up. We might technically be adults now, but he doesn’t like our mom knowing about our exploits. And he really doesn’t like Linc knowing any of the shady shit we do. “Sorry,” I mutter, looking down at my bowl as I stir the contents, properly chastised. I chance a look over at Max, and he looks the way I feel. As much as I’m loving the fact that he’s the one in trouble now, I feel a little bad for him. He can’t help the fact that Kat has a thing for him and he doesn’t feel the way she does. I just don’t know why he doesn’t let her down easy, instead of letting her hope for something I don’t think is ever going to happen. Is he really so oblivious he can’t see she wears her heart on her sleeve where he’s concerned?
Mom echoes my thoughts. “Maxwell James, you should be ashamed of yourself. That girl has been your best friend for years, always there for you and this is how you repay her?” Max looks like someone kicked his puppy, but that doesn’t faze her. “You need to be a little more sensitive to her feelings. You’re my son and I love you, but Kat’s spent so much time here that she’s practically a member of the family. As much as I hope you’ll wise up and realize what you’ve got in her, I’m not holding out hope that it’s going to happen anytime soon. In the meantime, you need to handle her with care. One day you’re going to regret the way you’re treating her. I just hope you haven’t done irreparable harm to your relationship with her with the way you’ve been acting.”
A wide smile spreads across my face. It’s usually me who’s being yelled at for being a dick to a girl, especially Kat. So the fact that this time it’s Max? Well, that’s pretty fucking sweet. Unfortunately, Mom can’t let a chance to remind me how I treat her go by, so I’m next on her shit list. “And Clayton, while it was nice of you to offer her a ride home, you need to check with your brother in the future to make sure you aren’t bringing her into another situation like the one today.” Dafuq? How did I still end up being the bad guy? I don’t get a chance to protest. “Do you boys understand?” she says in a voice we’ve heard plenty. It’s her daughters would have been so much easier voice.
“Yes ma’am,” Max and I say in unison, ready to get the attention off of us.
The rest of dinner passes uneventfully with Linc talking about the project he wants to do for his senior year. Preparations start in March, but with his baseball commitments as well as Spring preparation for next year’s Football season, he wants to start as soon as possible. This is the Mitchell son who should take over the family business, not me. High School? I was the kid doing as little as possible and paying people to do my homework. Linc? He’s the kid other people would pay to do their homework.
When dinner’s over, Max says he needs to get back to school. What he really means is that he wants to go find Kat. Mom’s lecture worked, and now he feels like a cocksucker. So, he’s going to go find her and grovel for her forgiveness. I hope she makes him beg for a while. Mom’s eyes light up with approval when she smiles at him, before giving me a look that says why can’t you be more like your brother? I’m the oldest, but sometimes I feel like they think I’m the youngest when it comes to maturity.
Eight
As soon as we get in the car, Anna looks over at me and the questions begin. “Wanna tell me what that was all about?”
“Max decided to take a page out of Clay’s book,” I say with a shrug. If I act like it doesn’t hurt, maybe it won’t. “He was supposed to pick me up after my last class so we could eat and dissect this semester’s professors, but he didn’t show. In a weird twist, Clay acted like an actual human being, offering to give me a ride to their apartment after I was unlucky enough to end up with him in one of my classes. When I got there, Max was otherwise occupied, and I wanted to leave.” I’m trying to act like it’s no big deal, but I’m failing miserably. My throat closes up and it feels like there’s a huge lump inside. To my horror, my eyes start to burn and I feel tears starting to build. I don’t want to cry over him. Maxwell Mitchell doesn’t deserve my tears. Not after what he pulled today.
Deep down, I know Max doesn’t feel for me the way I do for him. I just keep hoping that one day he’ll wake up and realize he loves me too. I’ve been waiting since freshman year of high school for him to notice I’m a girl, but he never seems to. I don’t know what it is about me that screams just a friend, but that’s all I’ve ever been to him. It’s becoming clear that friends is all we’re ever going to be, so I need to move on. I need to figure out how to just be his friend, to bury my emotions when I’m around him. Until I can, I’m going to have to stay away from him. Having a class with and working on a project with Clay means that’s going to be difficult. We can’t spend all our time in my dorm room, and I’m fairly certain the library will explode if he sets foot inside.
“Otherwise occupied,” Anna muses. Turning to me, her eyes widen and her mouth drops open a little. I’m just thankful we’re at a red light, because her eyes are so not on the road right now. “Are you saying he was boinking some girl?” See? Totally Clay in female form. I nod. “What an asshole,” she mutters.
My first instinct is to defend him, but she’s right. Bringing some random girl—she was a random girl, right?—home, when he knows he’s supposed to be meeting me, is definitely an asshole thing to do. “I uh, left before they were done.” I admit sheepishly. My sister’s reaction would have been much different. Her next words prove it.
“You left before he was done? Ugh. Kat,” she shakes her head, disappointed with my non-confrontational ways. “You so should have walked into his room and been like ‘what up bitches!’ Can you imagine the look on his face if you’d walked in on his two minutes of pleasure? He’d never be able to get hard without thinking of you.” She snickers, imagining what he’d look like if that happened. I have to grin too, because he would have been horrified.
With a shake of my head, I tell her, “What up bitches will never be the way I greet someone. Ever.” Just the thought of it makes me shudder. This time, Anna laughs outright, and I try to think of something to say to change the subject. I’m over talking about my love life, or lack thereof. Before I can say anything, Anna sighs. “I kinda wish Lyric were here right now. She would understand what you’re going through, and be better equipped to help you deal with this. It was only like two years ago she found her no good lying ass fiancé in bed with someone who wasn’t her. Remember that?”
“Yeah, but I don’t want to bother her with this. She’s happy now. David’s the perfect boyfriend, the kind they write romance novels about. She doesn’t need me dragging that shit up again because I’m hung up on a guy who doesn’t feel that way about me.
Anna smiles. “She’s good. Lyric is exactly where she should be. I miss her though; when she moved in it was like we were back in college.” My sister, the lucky b-word, got to go to college in New York City. She and Lyric were roommates from the beginning and became really close friends. I could have gone farther away for college, but stupid me only applied where Max did, too worried he’d forget me and fall in love with someone who wasn’t me if I went somewhere else. Considering we’re sophomores and he still hasn’t noticed me, making that choice was as idiotic, and my parents and sister tried to tell me it was.
Word of advice for all women: If he doesn’t notice you’re a girl after four years, he’s never going to fall in love with you. Maybe it’s the fact that I was so tongue-tied around him at first, so awestruck and in love at first sight. I was firmly in the friend zone before I realized it happened, and I’ve never been able to get out.
Anna and I continue to discuss Lyric, her boyfriend, and how things are going with his sister SarahBeth who just had a baby. She’s the same age as Clay and Emmett, so I don’t know her well. But, from what I’ve heard, she’s devious when she needs to be. Maybe I should get some pointers from her on how to end up with the guy I want.
The drive to our parents’ only t
akes about twenty minutes. They live on the outskirts of Belle Meade, a very old, very expensive neighborhood. Unlike a lot of my friends, my parents are not wealthy since mom’s a high school teacher, and dad is a construction foreman. However, my mom comes from money, and the house they’ve lived in my entire life was purchased mostly with her trust fund in order to keep the mortgage manageable.
My mother, being the woman she is, is standing on the front steps waiting for us. Her arms are folded across her chest, eyes narrowed, a look that’s hilarious considering she’s wearing a tartan skirt that comes just past her knees, paired with a fuzzy grey sweater and black flats. All she needs is a tight bun and some glasses and she’ll be able to pull off the mean librarian look, especially with the look she’s giving us when we get out of the car.
We don’t even make it up to the door before she starts. “Well, well, well. Katrina finally remembered she has parents! It’s going to snow tonight for sure.” Oh jeez. It’s clear to see where Anna gets her sarcastic personality. Anna snorts beside me, trying unsuccessfully to hide her amusement.
“Shut up,” I mutter, elbowing her in the side, or attempting to. She expects it, so she darts to the side to avoid me. Mom’s raised eyebrow effectively chastises me for being mean to my older sister and I drop my eyes, looking down at my feet as we reach the house.
