by L A Kennedy
She crawled up his body and grabbed his face. “Enough! We solve nothing like this.”
Zylan thought about jumping back up but thought again. If he moved, he’d hurt his Neri. He’d sooner lay on the floor and let Sid kick his ass than harm a hair on her beautiful head.
“You and I both know Sid can’t intervene. He can’t change fate any more than we can. Stop this. Stop this right fuckin’ now,” Neri yelled into his face. “If you want some truth, Sid was the only one here who truly loved her. He gave her what she needed, knowing you’d hate him, knowing he’d lose her. You honor that sacrifice. You do not punish it.”
Sid rolled off of the floor, using his shirt to clean the blood from his face. He moved to Zylan’s side, extending his hand as he gazed out of the hallway into the meeting room. “Zy, your mother is here.”
Chapter Sixteen
It had been ten years since Zylan had seen his mother. To him, ten years was still too soon. He’d thought the next time he would lay eyes upon her would be as they strapped him to the table before she dragged a blade across his throat. Apparently now is a better time. As usual, her timing was perfection. Choosing the moment when his heart was hurting, because of that godforsaken curse—the curse she’d placed on him the day he’d been birthed.
Queen Zylamon-Vhenom Bloodletting stood in the main hall, hands clasped in front of her hips. Her posture was perfect—the still statue she was trained to be. Her hair was tied up in a perfect series of knots, not a hair out of place. Her gown, blood red and to her toes, was set perfectly on her flawless frame. Nothing about her was out of place, aside from where she was currently standing.
“My son.” She spoke two words that made his skin crawl.
“Mother,” Zylan spat out. The word came with more hate now than ever before.
“I see you have heard the news of your Amity?”
“She was not mine. She belonged to no one.” Zylan glared. “What the hell do you want?”
If Zylan hadn’t known what he was looking for, he’d have missed the millisecond of emotion that flashed behind her eyes. But he saw it. He wanted it to bother her. He wanted her to feel something and show it, for once.
“Perhaps if your father had shown me the same care and attention that you all have shown Amity, things would have been different for us all. But that was not the case. What do I want? I have come to request that you complete your Reaping, to save Amity. I have come to request your death. It is only with that death that you will have true power and can create the change you wish to see.”
Zylan’s mouth dropped open. He hadn’t been expecting this. He expected his death, yes, but to save Amity? He wasn’t expecting that in the least. He didn’t think his mother gave a flying fuck.
“She stood tall, something I was unable to do. She is brave, something I am unable to be. She walked to her death with honor,” his mother’s voice hinted at a crack of emotion. Her eyes blinking rapidly, trying to draw back in the tears that now glittered in her eyes. “With your death, you may order her release. I have come to ask this of you. You owe me nothing, but you owe her, my son. She should not die like this—not alone in the dark, in pain and starvation.”
Neri jabbed Zylan in the ribs. “Either you go, or I will go with a loaded gun. I don’t care how, but she comes home. But keep in mind that if I go, I’ll likely burn the place to the ground and kill us all, but I’ll die knowing that I went to bring our girl home.”
“I’d have to give you up. I don’t think I can do that,” Zylan whispered, feeling his throat tighten.
Neri touched his cheek, her soft smile filling him with calm. “She has sacrificed her life for our love, Zy. We will find a way.”
“I will await your decision. You have but days, my son.” His mother stepped away, her shoulders hunched. Her pride had been beaten out of her centuries ago.
“Mother,” Zylan called out to her. As she turned, he added, “Thank you.”
Pain was painted on her face for all to see. In that moment, she hid nothing. “I have failed you, my son. I will not fail her. If you cannot return, please inform me at once, and I will release her myself.”
“Father will kill you for it,” Zylan reminded her.
She nodded and smiled. “It would be an honorable death—one I would welcome after all of these years.”
Zylan watched his mother walk out, the front door closing behind her. He gripped Neri’s hand and walked away silently, knowing it was all finally coming to an end. Their love, however strong it was, would be tested in the worst of ways, by separation and death.
* * * *
Sid stepped into Amity’s bedroom, letting her smell fill his lungs. Kneeling beside her bed, he touched her sheets. He could also feel the heat she’d left behind. The temptation to intervene was stronger than his will to live. If there had been a chance he could save his friends without risking their souls, he would have done it in a heartbeat. He forced his eyes to close and willed his mind home, when what he’d wanted to do could have damned them all to Hades.
He opened his eyes in Elysium. At one time, he’d thought of home as the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen, but this was no longer true. Amity was—and always would be—the most beautiful thing he would ever lay his eyes on. Home had lost its glow when he compared it to the way Amity’s hair shone in the candlelight. Even her eyes made the colors here seem paler and more basic.
“I know what you have come to ask, Sidriel,” the Orygin spoke, this time as a young man. The Orygin was never the same person twice, with varying sex and age. Sid never knew if the Orygin was a man or a woman and had never thought to ask.
Sid knelt on the ground, the flowers brushing his arms, reminding him of how Amity’s touch had tickled his skin. “I beg of you. Allow me to help my friends. Allow me to save Amity and keep Zylan from his Reaping.”
“It is not out of righteous duty that you wish to help. If it were, you would not be here asking this of me. You would simply do it. It is out of love, which I am grateful you have finally found. But as you know, a Watchyr may love all of humanity but can never walk the same path as a mortal.” Before Sid could argue that Amity and Zylan were Vampyre and not truly mortal, the Orygin spoke again. “If you can end their existence, they are mortal. You are a Watchyr, Sidriel. Their world is not your world. Your very love for them, as individuals, is a risk. You are blinded by love. That blindness tempts your hand, tempts you to meddle with their destiny. I can feel your desire to change paths already written.”
There was no winning. Either he didn’t love them enough or he loved them too much. Where the fuck is the balance? Sid dropped his head, wanting to scream and beat his fists into the flowers, ruining them.
“Scream, curse, burn the fields, flood our valley. It will not change their fate, Sidriel.”
Sid pounded his fists into the ground and spun, facing the Orygin. He lifted his face, wet with tears. “I beg of you, please. I will give you anything you ask of me, anything. I don’t want Zylan to give his first life and his one true love, to save Amity. He doesn’t want that life and Amity doesn’t want that sacrifice. I need to help them.”
“My dear Sidriel, Zylan has already agreed to complete his Reaping, to save Amity. Nerissa knows she may never have her love. Their destiny is set. We do not alter their paths, you know this. I feel your pain. Your need to help them is suffocating. You have danced too close to intervening too many times. If you continue these ways, those you care for will die. I can see it.”
He sobbed, hanging his head. He wanted to save the day. For once, he wanted to do something and not just stand there. Instead, Zylan would die his first death, Neri would be without her mate, and Amity would forever hate that she was saved at such an expense.
The Orygin, now a young woman mirroring Amity, touched his shoulder. “I can feel how your heart beats for Amity. You have gotten too close, Sidriel. You will say goodbye, before your actions are her ending. Out of my own love for my child, I will remove her memor
y of that love. She will never remember your love—only you will remember. She will be your reminder of how closely you have come to altering fate.”
Sid nodded. He knew Amity had known of his temptation to intervene to save her, Zylan and Neri. He’d contemplated it before going home. And now he would need to give her up. He would walk away from the Fyrvor he could never have as a reminder of how close he had come to risking them all. He didn’t bother arguing. He knew the Orygin was right.
Sid opened his eyes in Amity’s bedroom, on his knees, still gripping the sheets. Then in one blink, he had his arms wrapped around Amity, on the floor of the tomb. Sid breathed in her scent. He would remember this smell for all times. This had to be the darkness he had felt coming—the bone-crushing pain of losing someone, willingly—f or he couldn’t envision anything worse happening to him.
“I believe the fat lady is singing,” Amity whispered, pulling his arms tighter around her. He noticed her wince once at the pressure now on her back, as she drifted back to sleep.
Sid breathed in her scent. He would remember this smell for all of his days. He knew, as time went on, he would catch a hint of it, and it would bring him back to this moment.
He held her, hoping that somehow him being here would be enough. He knew it wouldn’t, but he couldn’t help but hope, because that was what love did. It pushed him to hope. Sid would take whatever love dished out, including a suffering that he’d carry for the rest of all days.
“I love you,” Sid whispered into Amity’s ear.
“You will say goodbye to her, Sidriel,” the Orygin whispered through the tomb.
Looking around, he saw more food and supplies were sitting in a large basket. At the end of the tomb, by the door, the Orygin stood.
Sid lifted his head. “I thought you wouldn’t save her?”
The Orygin nodded. “I’m not the one saving her or anyone else. Zylan is giving his first life for her, and through that, Neri may give up her first love, for Amity. My gift to you is time to say goodbye. Now what is your sacrifice? Will you still give your love for her? What will you give to ensure balance? My gifts do not come without a price for us all.”
Sid nodded. “I will give my love.”
The Orygin smiled. “You will always have that love, as a reminder of true sacrifice. But you will never be permitted to build on it. She will not remember, will not love you in return. That is the sacrifice. You must say goodbye.”
Sid nodded again. “I will do it.”
“And so shall it be done. You will have until the tomb is opened once again to spend time with her. She will remember you, but she will not remember your heart or hers. It is the deepest sacrifice. You will be the only one with the knowledge of the love you once shared. No one else will remember this. If ever she learns of this love, she will perish. Is this still your wish?”
Sid closed his eyes and let out a shaking breath. “Yes, it’s worth it. Plus, everyone grows to hate me anyway. This should be relatively easy.”
“I would certainly hope so, in this case.”
The Orygin was gone as suddenly as she had appeared. Sid clung to Amity. They could love until that door opened again. Selfishly, he didn’t want it to open again. But when it did, he was ready to let her go. He wondered how long it would take before they would come to clean it out? A week, perhaps? If he was lucky, they’d have two weeks. He knew that the Slayers would be here and busting the place open within days, if not hours.
Sid climbed out from behind Amity and grabbed the supplies left by the Orygin. Rolling her onto her stomach, he slathered ointment from the basket onto her. By the time she woke, she would be healed. He placed food out for her, in case she woke and was hungry. Climbing back into place, wrapping himself around her, he slept with his face pressed into her hair, breathing in the smell of his Amity, the Fyrvor he would never have.
Chapter Seventeen
Lying nude, on his back on a marble slab at Sola-Nosfer, Zylan shook like a ragdoll. His hand was locked in a death grip around Neri’s. When it came time for him to return for the Reaping, Neri had refused to stay behind at the compound. The queen had allowed Neri to come—something she would be punished for later—allowing an outsider and making a decision without consulting the king. But in true fashion, his father would not allow the others to think it wasn’t his own decision. He’d sooner put on a front and beat his wife later than appear weak in any way. His mother knew what was coming, but she’d stood firm, not backing down.
The Slayers would not be permitted to attend. They were not his people. One person his father would tolerate, but not more. Zylan had tried to find Sid, to ask him to attend, but Sid was nowhere to be found. Sid could blend. He could hide. Zylan’s father couldn’t kick out someone he couldn’t find.
There were plenty of tears shed when Zylan left. Neri would be back to the compound once the ceremony was completed and he was locked away with five donors who would help him when he awoke, bloodthirsty. Once his Reaping was complete, Zylan would find a way to come and go, to be with her. They’d have to drag him into the sun to keep him from her. Bottom line, he’d do this to save Amity and for no other reason. He knew he owed her this—and more. He hoped he wasn’t too late.
Neri knelt beside Zylan, her soft smile keeping him planted. Without her, they would have needed to drug him and tie him down. On his other side, his brother knelt with his wife, a Vestal Virgyn. His brother was one of the lucky few who had fallen head over heels for his chosen mate. And she, in turn, loved him back. Tonight, her usual smiling face was marred in grief for Amity. All the Vestal Virgyns were in mourning.
He couldn’t shake the tightness in his chest. It had been there for days. Like a dark shadow weighing down his shoulders. He was about to die. It didn’t get any darker than that. Lights out in less than ten minutes… He just wanted to get it over and done with. Instead, his father droned on and on about the new age coming. When Zylan woke, he would be crowned king. That part, he was looking forward to. He would release Amity. He would restore her honor then he would release her and the other Vestal Virgins, abolishing the tradition, once and for all. Those who wished to stay could stay, but there would be some fucking changes around Sola-Nosfer. Any act of abuse toward any man, woman or child would be treated as an act of aggression toward the crown, toward the king.
Neri rubbed her thumb over his shaking hand. “I’m right here. I love you.”
Zylan’s brother Zander held his other hand, squeezing it tightly. “I’m sorry, brother. If I could take your place, I would.”
Zylan smiled. “I know you would.”
Zander leaned into Zylan’s ear, whispering, “Zylan, don’t give up hope. I think I’ve found a loophole. I’ve been reading old text. I’ll keep digging. I give you my word. I won’t stop until I’ve exhausted all leads.”
Zander had been trying to find a way for Zylan to get out of having to give up Neri to take the throne.
Zylan squeezed his brother’s hand. “It’s too late, but do me one small kindness. Keep hold of your Fyrvor and never let her go. Treat her well. Treat her with honor and dignity. Treat her as we would have wished our mother to have been treated.”
“I always have and always will, or may I be struck down by the Orygin,” Zander answered, staring at his father. Zander, like Zylan, hated his father for what he did to their mother. Zander lifted his hand, motioning toward the room. “It’s time.”
“Fuck,” Zylan groaned.
His mind went back to every Reaping he’d witnessed before he’d left. He remembered how proud the family members were. He recalled toasting to their death, celebrating, as though they hadn’t just killed someone. To his people, this wasn’t a killing. This was a rebirthing. They saw it as shedding the skin of the first life then proudly being carried into the new life. This didn’t feel anything like that. This felt like his death, like he was giving away something precious. It was one of the ten million reasons he’d chosen to leave.
Even though he w
as doing this to save Amity—who’d given everything for him—he was still scared. His stomach flopped, and his lungs constricted. He was on the verge of puking and passing out. Maybe I’ll pass out as I’m puking. Won’t that make for a great first death? His father would probably die of embarrassment. It was a win-win.
Neri pushed her face into Zylan’s sightline then winked. “You’ve got this. Just one more mission. Only this time, I’m right beside you. Of course, I’ll go eventually, before you start to stink. It’s almost impossible to get that smell from my hair.”
Zylan grinned, letting out a small laugh. “Vampyres do not break down. There is no rigor mortis, smart-ass.”
“Oh? And when did you go to Vampyre medical school?”
He pulled her mouth to his, kissing her with the last bit of his life. “I love you, Neri, with my entire being. No matter what, I’ll always find my way back home, back to you.”
She placed her hand over his heart. “I’ll be waiting. Don’t be late.”
Zylan’s mother stepped to the head of the slab and lowered to her knees. Her hand shook as she held onto the golden blade. Looking up at her eyes, Zylan could see the tears falling. It wasn’t like her to show this kind of emotion in front of everyone. She would be punished for this and likely punished again for deserving a second punishment in the same day. There was no pleasing his father, no pleasing any of the men of Sola-Nosfer.
Lifting his hand to hers, he squeezed. “I love you.”
Relief, for once. She looked relieved, like a weight had been lifted from her shoulders.
“Thank you for Neri. I’m sorry for what you’ll endure because of it,” Zylan whispered.
She smiled. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d seen his mother smile. “I can take it,” she said. “Once you take the throne, I’m very sure I’ll never have to take it again.”
