by D. N. Hoxa
“But—”
“She has spells I’ve written myself. They are not to be taken lightly. This will need your whole focus, so do refrain from killing infernals for the duration of this mission.”
Mission. Fancy.
“Why do you even want to stop her? What do you care if she brings down the fucking apocalypse? That’s what you ultimately want, right?” They were fallen angels and they worked for the Devil. That’s what everybody down here wanted.
My dad laughed, and it was a cross between screams and babies crying. I kid you not. That sound was going straight to my nightmare repertoire.
“Don’t be silly, Sapphire. Nobody wants an apocalypse they can’t control.” Talk about control freaks. I don’t know why I bothered to ask. “Remember, your focus will be on this mission only.”
“And it will, but I don’t need—”
“With Lexar. You’ve worked together before. You know each other.”
“And you know—” How it ended, I wanted to say, but nope. He was not about to let me finish a fucking sentence. He was getting me back for interrupting him when he talked about my mom.
“Or would you rather work with Tobias?”
Words died on my lips. The gleaming in his eyes got to me. He was testing me now, and there was nothing I could do about it.
What did it matter if I said yes or no? I was not going to work with Lexar or anyone else for this. I was going to find the witch myself and kill her. What did it matter what I told him?
I smiled. “Lexar’s fine. Thanks, Daddy.”
“You know, I’m starting to like you calling me that,” he said, shaking his cigar in front of me. But he wasn’t. He was just trying to get me to stop.
“That’s great then. Daddy. So, I can be on my way now? Daddy?”
When he smiled, it was a promise that he could make even the filthiest of sins feel pure and holy. No wonder my poor mom had fallen for this guy. “You don’t realize how much we’re alike. I don’t get this kind of satisfaction from anywhere else anymore.”
“We are not alike.” At all. Not on the outside, not on the inside. Nowhere.
The look in his eyes changed so completely, it was like looking at a different person altogether. I swear I could hear voices screaming in the distance, blood spilling all around me, bones being broken—the whole shindig. This is why people were so scared of the Fallen. The fear he inspired with a look wanted to latch onto my bones and infuse them until I fell down to my knees. Every bad thing you could imagine came right in front of you when you looked at those soul-sucking eyes. I had never met anybody else in the world who could say so much without actually saying anything, but that’s my dad for ya.
I say stubbornness is a virtue because that was the only thing that didn’t let me lower my eyes and cower back. Stubbornness and pain. Because this guy had filled me with it every time he came to see me, and I never saw even a hint of love anywhere on him. That was stronger than the fear.
But, thankfully, it didn’t last long. My father turned to Lexar, and his whole body language changed.
“Lex, my boy,” he said and put a hand on Lexar’s shoulder. Lexar kept his eyes to the floor but forced a smile on his face. I couldn’t even be relieved that my dad’s attention was not on me anymore. Not until I got out of there.
“I’m happy that you’re going to be working with Sapphire on this. I trust you, boy. I trust you with my daughter, and that is no small thing.”
Ugh. What a load of crap. He made it sound like he cared about me.
“I know, Azazel,” Lexar said.
“You’re not going to let me down, are you?” His every word was a threat.
“Of course not.” Lexar looked up at his face for a split second. Good for him. “I’ll protect her with my life.”
Real rich. “I don’t need you to protect me,” I said, then regretted it the next second. Why couldn’t I just stop speaking for once?
“I know you will, my boy. She doesn’t realize how valuable she is to me, but you do,” my father almost whispered, and it raised the hair on my forearms. It was all I could do not to roll my eyes.
“We’ll find the witch, Azazel. You don’t need to worry about it,” Lexar said, and for a second there, I could have sworn he sounded pissed off. Like my father was getting to him the way he got to me.
“That’s the spirit,” my father said and stepped back. “Go now, Sapphire. I’ll be seeing you soon.” And with that, he turned his back to us. We were dismissed. The next second, I heard Lexar opening the door, like he couldn’t wait to leave, too.
Crying now would go against everything I said and everything I thought up until that moment, but damn it, it still hurt. I didn’t even understand myself.
What the hell did I even want? A hug? A kiss? A fuck you?
But nothing was simple when it came to my father, and I was already exhausted. So, I did what Lexar said I should, and I cut myself some slack. With my head down, I turned around and left the room without another word.
6
I never thought I’d be happy to see the Lego wall like I was now, but if it meant I was getting out of here, anything would make me happy.
“That went well,” Lexar said. He’d been silent the whole way out of the castle.
When we’d left my dad’s office, the other offspring hadn’t been there to give me hell. Good thing, too, because I was so pissed off, I’d have started a fight with one of them. Probably Tobias and the bitch Effeyet. The ex-girlfriend. Ugh. But now that we were on the cobbled pathway back to the bookstore and the real world, I was starting to relax.
It was over.
“We’re not really going to work together, Nevermore. You know that, right?” And not just because he was a lying piece of shit. I mean, he had a girlfriend and he never told me about it.
“I figured you’d say that,” he said. “But you have no choice. You heard him.”
“Yeah. He thinks I’m weak, too, just like everybody else, but I really don’t need a babysitter.”
“I’m not going to babysit you. I’m going to help you, and you’re going to help me.”
“What, like you helped me down there with the others?” I said and regretted it the next second. But he’d just stood there like a fucking tree trunk in the waiting room, never saying a single word, until Effeyet put on that show for me.
Damn it, why couldn’t I just ignore it?
“If I’d said something, you’d have only been more pissed off. You’d have turned on me, too, then it would have been impossible for me not to turn on you.”
“You’re a lying piece of shit, you know that? You never mentioned her before.” Shut up, shut up, shut up, I told myself, but it was useless.
“She was just trying to piss you off,” he said in barely a whisper.
Great. He wasn’t even going to deny it. I seriously needed to let this go.
“You seem awfully concerned about my state of mind tonight. Are you sure you’re not high, dove?” I made myself say.
“Sassy, we need to work together on this. You can’t just—”
“I can, and I will. Stay out of my way, Nevermore. Take a vacation. Go have an orgy or something, and when I kill the witch, you can go back home and take all the credit.”
Heat came off him, and I could feel it even though we were at least a foot apart from one another.
“You know he’s right, don’t you? You’re exactly like him.”
It was my turn to heat up. Fire danced on my knuckles even before I realized it, but I didn’t try to stop it. I turned to the side and looked at his dark eyes, the reflection of my flames dancing on them.
“If we fight again, I’m going to kill you,” I promised him. “And I’d rather not. So please don’t make me.”
Lightning shot down his left arm, chasing away the darkness for a second.
Were we really going to fight now?
Every second in this place seemed to last a lifetime, and it was no different now tha
t we stared at each other, waiting for a move. I didn’t know what my eyes told him, but his told me that he was pissed and confused and a little bit tired, too.
“I’m not going to fight you, Princess,” he finally said, and the lightning on his body buzzed out of existence. “But I promise you this: you’re going to come to me for help eventually.”
Only when the back of his fingers touched my cheek did I realize that he’d moved. I didn’t even have time to slap his hand off me before he spun around and walked down the path and disappeared into the darkness.
Suddenly, I was all alone.
I sighed and looked around, desperate for something to distract myself with, but it was useless. My skin burned slightly where he’d touched me, and I hated my body for it, but it was over. He was gone and soon I’d be home, too.
Then I’d find that witch, kill her, and I’d have plenty of time to forget about this fucked up night.
The words my father said haunted me, even upside the Earth. Closing my ears hadn’t worked, so I stopped trying. He was in my head, anyway. He was always in my head.
You might be wondering why he’d think that I wanted him to fix my mother’s death, but I didn’t. What I expected him to do was fix me.
I was alone when Mom died. I didn’t know any better. I’d never been alone before, but then she was gone, and there was no more ground beneath my feet, and I just fell. I didn’t know how to stop—I was eleven. I didn’t know how to save myself, be my own fucking hero, so I wanted somebody else to do it for me. I wanted my father to be that man, but I learned quickly that that never works out. Nobody can really save us. We have to do it ourselves; otherwise, it’s guaranteed to end badly—just like it had for me.
That’s why I had plenty of anger in me when I sat on the old wooden table that creaked under my weight and lit up the cigarette between my lips. It’s not like smoking can kill me, anyway. My body regenerates too fast, and I’m generally immune to diseases. Yay for me.
“I swear…I swear…” the guy whose head I was holding down against the table breathed. I blew out the smoke and looked down at him. He was bloody, cut in at least five places all over his face, and as a result, my hand pressed against his cheek and ear was all bloody, too. I liked the sticky feeling, even though the guy wasn’t even a maggot.
“I heard you the first time. I’m not interested in that, Hank. Just tell me where she is. You want to live, don’t you?” It was my way of telling him that he would die if he didn’t tell me what I wanted to know. He wasn’t the brightest bulb in the room, but I’d say he got it. My thing was killing maggots. I didn’t mingle with other paranormals, but I still knew where everybody was. Or at least I tried to keep tabs on everyone. And that’s how I knew that the best way to find a newcomer in Philadelphia was through Hank O’Riley and his team.
Hank himself was a shifter. He turned into a nasty creature that was called a weredog, but I just couldn’t accept it. When I thought of the word dog, my mind conjured the image of friendly and loyal creatures standing on four legs with puppy eyes and a pink tongue hanging out. Hank here was a monstrous version of that, as were all shapeshifter species. Paranormals only shifted into apex predators now, animals who dominated the food chain—lions, leopards, chimps, bears, wolves, leopards, tigers, and the likes. There used to be more kinds, according to my father, but the genes didn’t survive time. It was survival of the fittest up here, and I guess I could see how a weredeer would have trouble staying alive for long.
But Hank was no deer. He was powerful and maybe not entirely stupid. Shifters had a very keen sense of smell, especially when it came to magical creatures. Plus, he knew who I was already. We’d met before. You could even say we were buddies.
“Okay, okay,” he breathed, making an attempt to sit up, but I pushed his head back down. Not that he couldn’t throw me off, especially if he shifted, but lucky for me, he decided it wasn’t worth it. I’d still make him tell me in the end. “I don’t know much, I swear. But I did hear something about a banished witch.”
Now we were talking. I let go of his head and stood from the table. Not too far, though. There were another two guys on the ground behind me—Hank’s bodyguards who had tried to stop me from getting to their boss. They weren’t dead, just unconscious.
Hank stood straight, adjusting the collar of his bloody shirt, then proceeded to wipe the blood off his face with the back of his hand. He looked at me and his brown eyes nearly pierced holes through my skull. I grinned and continued to smoke my cigarette, while I pulled one of my knives from the holster again. He could still try to make a run for it. Or shift. Trusting people wasn’t a mistake I made often.
“I’m all ears, Hank,” I told my buddy.
“I heard that she was spotted in the Northeast a few days ago, but that’s it. She didn’t talk to anyone, didn’t do business with any of the usuals, and she disappeared within the day. Nobody knows what she’s up to,” Hank said, still looking at me like he wanted to rip the skin off my flesh.
I didn’t take it personally. It was just business, and Hank was the best Philly had at this. He called himself a simple trader. He dealt with everything—from art pieces to live beings to information. He had connections everywhere in the city, and outside it, and if something happened around here, chances were he heard about it. It’s why he’d been my first choice.
“I have a feeling you’re not telling me everything,” I said and put out my cigarette in the ashtray.
Hank gritted his teeth. “I don’t give a shit. That’s all I know.”
He was fully focused on me, and I on him. The eyes gave shifters away each and every time. When they began the process of shifting, their pupils dilated like they had their face buried in cocaine. The irises turned completely yellow, too, but Hank’s were still more brown, and his pupils weren’t moving that much yet.
“She’s dangerous, Hank. You know this. A nocturnal witch. You’ve dealt with them before, haven’t you?” I was sure he had. Hank had been in business for the past fifteen years. Nocturnal witches weren’t that common in Philly, but there must have been a few through the years.
“Like I said, I don’t give a shit. I told you all I know.”
That sounded very honest. I flinched involuntarily, looking at the bodyguards on the ground, who were slowly coming around, blinking their eyes.
The Northeast was a big place. This wasn’t what I’d hoped, but it was a start. I could find out more soon.
“If you’re lying to me, Hank, I’ll find out. And you won’t like the consequences.” I turned for the door, ready to leave, when the fucker opened his mouth again.
“What are you gonna do, tell your father on me?” Hank said, and I could hear the mock in his voice loud and clear.
Life shows us dangerous paths all the time, and the temptation sometimes is too great to overcome. The harder you try, the harder it seems to pull at you—and right now, the pull of Hank’s words was almost too great to ignore. When people assumed I needed my asshole of a father for anything—especially to intimidate people—I saw red all around me. I wanted to kill Hank. So badly my hands shook, but a voice in my head tried to reason. If I killed Hank, I’d just have to make friends with the new guy who took his place. Or kill him, too.
Swallowing my pride was never an easy feat, but I did it anyway.
“Yeah, I’ll tell him to watch out for your rotten soul when I take you to meet him personally.” I winked, stepped over one of the bodyguards on the ground and walked out of the office.
Hank’s office was underground, below a warehouse in Devil’s Pocket. The warehouse building wasn’t big, but that was just the coverup for what went on down here. He had a fucking labyrinth built underground where he kept and sold all kinds of things, like a private mini black market.
And if Hank knew what I really was, he’d spend his last cent and all his effort to contain me and make me shift. According to my father, the feathers of a phoenix used in spells and potions were incredibly pow
erful energy sources—like miniature Ley lines.
Also, the ashes of a phoenix before it was reborn could bring the dead back to the living. Like, for real.
The Why Sassy is Special list has no limits, as you can see.
It’s why nobody knew what I was, other than my father and the woman who raised me, not even the other Fallen. He said it was important that they never found out, and I didn’t need to ask why. The Fallen hadn’t fallen out of Heaven for being good guys, if you know what I mean.
I walked up the set of stairs made of metal that rang annoyingly every time I stepped on them. None of the guards stopped me. They hadn’t stopped me going in, either. Hank and I had done business together in the past a few times, and I’d never had to resort to violence before, but there was a first time for everything. If he’d alerted the other guards about what I’d done, they gave no indication of it.
The ground floor of the warehouse smelled of cardboard boxes and wet dog hair. The space was huge and almost empty, save for two guards by the front door. They didn’t even get it for me when I walked out. Chivalry really is dead.
And talking about death…
I stepped outside, my eyes squinted against the noon sun that fell on my face.
Then I saw his—the stupidest face on the planet.
He was right in front of the fence of the warehouse, holding a black helmet in his hand, his motorcycle behind his back. He looked shocked to see me, but I wasn’t that surprised. I knew he was in the city, and that he’d eventually find his way to Hank. It seemed he had sooner than I expected.
With a sigh, I stopped in front of the door, took out another cigarette and lit it, trying not to think about what had happened that morning. About his ex-girlfriend. Instead, I focused on my surroundings.
A few seconds later, Lexar started walking toward me, helmet still in hand. My fingers itched to hold my camera and take a shot. The way the sun couldn’t reach his eyes even though it tried to cover him completely was pretty fucking majestic, and I knew just the trick to use to make it the perfect shot. Too bad I’d rather stab myself in the eye than ask to take his picture. My professional cravings would have to wait for now.
