by D. Brumbley
* * * * *
Aura spent those weeks mostly in her hut or with Ziem, though things went slowly with the two of them. They held hands or they walked arm in arm, but it was fairly obvious that they were just being close and friendly. She was too scared to be romantic with anyone new, even though Ziem was more like a first than someone new. He had been a serious interest before Nick was really an interest. It was nice to have company, though, and Ziem always made her laugh just by his stories and his general apathy regarding the opinions of others. She didn’t want to make his life hell, though, which was another reason why they hadn’t even kissed. He deserved a chance to belong in society, even though he didn’t seem interested in belonging. Not on the social side of things, anyway.
Recently Ziem came over to take care of her, since a few days prior, Aura had taken ill. Ziem was a gentleman the way he took care of her, crass jokes and all. He made sure she had plenty to drink and to eat, even if it came back up a little later. It always made her feel a bit better to see his face. The Fulness was coming up, though, and the closer it got, the more she realized that something was off. The pull of the Fulness was already bothering her, and she could feel her body responding to the metal that surrounded her even more than she normally did. Something was off.
“Hey you in there!” She registered a voice outside her house and realized that someone was knocking on her door. It had barely registered as a dull noise behind her thoughts. The sound was followed by a stiff kick to her front door, which swung open obediently to allow Ziem to step through. He carried a grocery bag that was filled with ingredients for a meal shortly to come. “Hey there, sick puppy. Can’t even answer your own door now?”
“I guess not.” She shook her head. Just the thought of a meal kind of made her stomach turn. She ambled up to look in the bag anyway. “What are you making?”
“Well, I cleaned out your cupboards with the roast last night, so I pretty much just restocked you. What do you want?” He was starting to put food away, and it was almost funny how well he knew his way around her small house. Not like there was enough room to really get lost. The house looked like it had been made from stolen appliances and parts torn off of other, more respectable dwellings, but it was serviceable enough, and comfortable by their standards.
“I’m not really hungry, actually.” She said as she took a step back from him, but then she reached out and ran her fingers along his arm. “Do I feel weird?” She wondered if he could sense anything about her that felt off, the animal in them often knew more than the human.
“Is that an invitation?” He teased with a smirk as he pulled her in closer and ran his hands up her arms. “No weirder than usual.”
“No?” She was obviously distracted, though, and she sighed as she looked down at herself. “I just feel weird. Not to mention my boobs look big in this shirt. Do you think I’ve gained weight?” It was hard for them to gain weight as wolves because the shifting caused them to burn calories so fast, but it wasn’t impossible, certainly.
“You mean in the two weeks I’ve been back, or the ten years since I was last checking you out every ten minutes?” Ziem was unabashedly checking her out at the mention of her boobs, since he was clearly a fan.
Aura laughed and shook her head. “You have not been checking me out every ten minutes. But thanks for saying that, since I clearly think I’m approaching a bigger size.”
“You’re eating about as much as my girl Casey does, but that’s nothing new.” Casey was one of his more brash friends that he’d brought back with him from Ireland. He referred to her more often by one of her many nicknames than by her actual name, so she was normally Ball-breaker, Man-eater or simply ‘The red-headed horror’ rather than just Casey. “Course, Casey also went and got herself knocked up a couple months back, so she’s eatin’ for the whole litter right about now, I guess.”
Aura felt like she was soaked with a whole tub full of ice water as he said that, and she stilled. She thought for a moment before her stomach twisted in all sorts of knots and the nausea was back in full force. “Shit.”
He didn’t miss a beat as he nodded at the other corner of the kitchen. “Bathroom’s that way.”
She ran to throw up what little was left in her stomach, but for a whole new reason. After she finished heaving and washing out her mouth with the mouthwash that was a permanent fixture in her bathroom, she sat on the floor and rested her head back against a wall. She had been so concerned with being basically ignored by everyone, then so focused on Ziem that she hadn’t even remembered that she had skipped her cycle completely. Nothing at all came, and it was almost the next Fulness. Aura pounded her head several times against the wall behind her as her body trembled.
The previous month had obviously been quite an eventful Fulness for her, and now she…there was no way to know…
“I can’t fucking believe this…” She whispered to nothing, as though the air would tell her she was imagining this version of reality.
“What are we not fucking believing?” Ziem asked from the kitchen, where she could hear him getting a glass of water for her from the sink, since it sounded like she was gonna need it.
When he came in with the glass and offered it to her, she just looked up at it once before she looked up at him and met his eyes. “I’m pregnant.”
Ziem’s eyebrow quirked in surprise as he handed her the glass, then he slowly leaned against the door frame and looked down at her. “Ummmm…yeah. I guess shit would be about the right kind of swearing for that situation.”
Aura sighed and hit her head against the wall a few more times. “I don’t even know who the father is. It could be either of them.” She closed her eyes as she took a long drink of water. “And I don’t know what to do. Orlando…” Orlando had clearly moved on as fast as he could. “And Nick…” Nick had yet to even acknowledge her presence since the last time they’d spoken. They had both left her behind, and she couldn’t blame either of them.
“Don’t worry about that right now.” Ziem slid down to sit in the doorway to the bathroom, arms over his knees. “Screw both of them.” He said and then looked as though he thought better of it. “Okay, bad choice of words, you can beat me up for that later. But seriously, screw both of them. It’s not like you’ve gotta be worried about providing for the kids.” Gold came easily to Ironborn, which was the only reason why the entire encampment was able to support all its newcomers at the moment. “You’re the strongest Ironborn here. Everybody knows that. You’ll be fine.”
“It’s not that.” She was terrified of doing it alone, but she knew it was much more likely that she would survive here, surrounded by her element, than anywhere else. “I’ve fucked up their lives enough. I don’t…I don’t want them to know that it could be theirs.”
“Well, do they both know you were with both of them last Fulness?” He asked the question just to try to help her through her mental process. It was more of a verification of facts than anything, and there was no judgment whatsoever in his tone.
Aura nodded and kept her eyes on the floor, ashamed. “I can’t mess anything up for Nick, he already hates me enough. And Orlando has his own problems to deal with. Maybe I should just leave. Go somewhere and deal with this on my own.”
“Running off on your own isn’t gonna help either of them. Plus, you really don’t wanna start that kind of movie. In the end, the dads always find out they’ve got kids and it never ends well. You did see Star Wars, right?”
She looked up at Ziem again after a while with resignation in her expression. “Well, then maybe I should just fuck someone else and find these parasites another Daddy or something.” She wasn’t exactly excited about the idea of being a mother, especially since she didn’t have anyone to help her and both the possible dads probably hated her in one way or another. Her babies weren’t parasites but they weren’t planned. At all. And she was angry about it.
His smile dropped, and he leaned his head against the door post. “They can hear you,
you know.” He said with a slightly serious cast to his voice. “You and Nick were always the lucky number Sevens of the pack. You got that all the time you were growing up. These are gonna be the eights, no matter which daddy they’ve got. They’re gonna be great, just like their mother.”
“No one is going to care about that.” She looked defeated and just downright broken. “The only person who cares about me at all is you.”
“That’s not true. People are kinda pissed off at you right about now, but that’ll change. You know it always does.”
“Guess I’m not so interesting now, huh?” She said as she got up slowly and put her glass on the bathroom counter. She was certain Ziem would want to bolt now, as if the glares and stares weren’t enough. A wolf knocked up and not by him? That was plenty of reason to run. “Thanks for taking care of me these last few days, though.”
He looked intensely confused as he watched her walk over him to get back into the kitchen. “Okay, when did I seem not interested?”
“I’m having puppies, Ziem.” She said as she looked back at him, just as confused by his confusion. To her it was plain. “That’s a hell of a lot of baggage.”
“You’re talking to the guy who’s never had any baggage worth carrying around.” He had never once made it seem as though his exile was her fault, and he didn’t mean to do so now, though he knew she would take it that way if she wanted to. “I’ve been jumping from one bar to the next for ten years. Truth be told, I feel more than a little weird if I don’t come over here and wipe down your counters every day just because I’m afraid I’ll be out of practice.” He stood up to face her, though he didn’t move away from the doorway. “Do I look like the kind of guy who would mind having some kind of home to come home to once in a while?”
That was so unexpected that Aura didn’t really know what to say as she just kind of stared at him. “You…” She started to say as she moved closer to him. “You’d do that? Even though they’re not yours?”
He shrugged to make it seem like it was less of a big deal than it actually was, then looked her up and down once. “I had my mom and dad and brothers telling me every day and night how I wasn’t supposed to get close to you because I’m only fifth-gen, and it was a big deal, you having pureborn puppies someday, for the sake of the Council. But all that’s kinda shot to hell now. I don’t really care whose puppies they are, as long as they’re yours. You’re the one I always wanted anyway.” He said it in the same lackadaisical tone that he always said everything else, but Aura knew him well enough to know that that was just the kind of person Ziem was. He wasn’t terribly deep, never serious if he could avoid it, and never one to over-analyze a situation. If he wanted to do something, he did it. Which was more or less what had gotten them in trouble in the first place.
Aura went up the rest of the way to him and pulled him into a passionate kiss, unable to help the overflow of emotions pouring out of her. His loyalty to her was extremely unexpected and touching, and she couldn’t express her gratitude enough. A kiss was a good place to start.
Kissing Ziem was a very, very different experience than kissing Orlando, or even Nick. For a moment, he didn’t even react to the kiss, but as she felt him smile under the touch, he grabbed her waist in a way no pregnant woman ever ought to really be grabbed, and pushed her back against the sheet-metal wall. The wall instantly conformed to the indentation of her body, though the impact still hurt a little as she slammed into it. He wasn’t gentle the way Nick had always been, as though she was about to break, and nor was he gentle the way Orlando had always been, with subtle caresses and tingling nerves. He handled her like an equal, and his kiss proved it.
She was surprised, to say the least, but it didn’t stop her from kissing him several more times just to raise the heat between them. There was a reason why he was exiled and not simply punished, and it was because Nick’s father knew that her feelings for Ziem weren’t just curiosity or an innocent crush. Nick was the one that she lost her virginity to, but if they hadn’t exiled Ziem, Aura was sure it would have been him instead. She growled a little as her fingers gripped his back. “Wow.” She said between kisses.
He chuckled once as she said it, and kissed her again before responding. “I think that’s what you said the first time too. Though I’m pretty sure I was too horny the first time for there to have been enough blood in my brain to remember.”
Aura laughed and then just continued to hold on to him as she wrapped her arms around him. “I was so heartbroken when they made you go.”
“I wondered if you missed me.” He said with an honest shrug and a grin. “Obviously you can see I missed you.”
“Of course I missed you.” She leaned in and kissed the side of his neck. “Nick was my best friend for a long time, but back then, you were always the one I wanted. I didn’t care about purity. I still don’t.” Aura pressed into him a little more, her body molding against his. “I love how honest you are. I love how you say what you want.”
“Good, cause that’s only gotten worse.”
“What has, your honesty?”
“No, me saying what I want. Tends to get a guy slapped more often than not.”
“Oh, really? What am I going to slap you for?” Aura smirked, since she doubted his mouth would get him in trouble with her. She enjoyed it too much.
“I don’t know. I haven’t started talking yet.” He grinned and kissed her again, the metal wall behind her actually scooping her up slowly so that she was level with him.
“I like it when you talk dirty.” She said as she pulled him in closer and kissed him harder. “I might slap you if you don’t.”
That made him laugh louder as he held her where she was, his kisses clearly making up for lost time, though he didn’t push things any further than that for a very long time.
After making out for several hours they finally emerged just after sunset. They both were pretty reserved about being together, even though their hands and their lips were pretty adventurous. They held hands as they started to take a walk around the complex, but she stopped short suddenly when she saw Nick off in the distance talking to the Heartborn.
Nick was the very image of an Alpha in his power, with two low-profile Guardsmen behind him and his arms folded over his chest as he spoke to the other wolves, who were obviously not Ironborn. The Heartborn witch was standing just behind him, watching the conversation through the strands of hair that had fallen into her face, one hand playing idly with the purple pendant on a gold chain around her neck.
Ziem stopped next to her, but he tugged on her hand to bring her attention back to him as he saw what she was looking at. “Don’t give him the satisfaction. They’ve been going at it all week, those two.”
She looked over at Ziem and she squeezed his hand. “It’s just…how can he trust her? Of all the people.”
“I dunno.” He said with a shrug. “I’ve never met a witch personally. Never intend to. She’s too close for my tastes as it is.”
Aura looped her arm with Ziem’s and she leaned in and kissed his cheek. “Are you sure about this? About being with me?”
“How many times are you gonna ask me that? Just give me a number so I can start counting down.”
“Ummm…twenty…one.”
“Good. You’ve got twenty left. Use ‘em wisely.” He grinned at her and kept walking, trying to get them out of sight of Nick and Zara.
She walked along with Ziem without hesitating, but she looked back at Nick once more, and her heart broke a little bit more at the sight of him with Zara. Aura never wanted to hurt him, but she was convinced that the witch with the violet eyes wanted exactly that.
Nick saw her look, partially because even at that distance, Zara could feel Aura’s anxiety over being near him, her chaos of emotions over the sight of him. He could feel a shadow of it through Zara, through the bond that she had taken on in his service. He knew that he could listen further, but he shied away from doing so. He didn’t want to hear every innermos
t thought that Aura was having about him right now, let alone any thoughts about Ziem that he knew for certain he didn’t want to hear.
They seem content. He said as he tried to keep even his silent voice flat and emotionless on the subject.
Zara watched Aura and Ziem for a moment longer, just because the war inside of Aura was that delicious. She had strings of emotions tied to several different relationships throughout the compound, and it was a satisfying burst of energy that Zara loved. After a moment, though, she looked back at Nick, her expression gentle. But you don’t.
I’m an Alpha. I’m not supposed to be content.
About Aura, I mean.
He glared at her a little for that as he faced away. It was supposed to be the two of us against the world. Should I be content already so quickly after that’s changed?
She was quiet for a moment as she walked slightly closer to him. Don’t be offended. Zara asked in a way that was gentle and obviously concerned. But do you think she really loved you?
Yes, I do.
Even though she’s with that other wolf now?
You’re one to talk. You were with the Council last month. You’re here now.
She laughed and shook her head slowly. I was surviving with the Council. I wasn’t in love with it.
What Aura and I had or didn’t have is none of your concern. You’re here to help me work with the other Alphas, not to give me romantic advice.
Zara nodded and backed away slightly. I didn’t mean to offend. I’m just concerned for you.
He walked with her for a while in silence, looking over many of the newcomers in tents and makeshift huts. Just the fact that he was walking side by side with a Heartborn was enough to make many of them look at him with a healthy helping of fear. His legend was growing quickly. He was the Alpha who made friends with Shadowborn and Heartborn, who had a Lightborn at his command as well. What about them, Zara? What are they concerned about?
