When she was done with my hair, she put some bright red lipstick on my lips and smiled at me.
She had me stand up in front of her full-length mirror and appraised her masterpiece happily. It all looked great, except for the self-inflicted and non-self-inflicted scars that ran up and down my arms, shoulders, and chest. Not to mention, there was still the nasty still-healing cut on my collarbone that was quite exposed.
The clothes, hair, and makeup looked nice. I, however, was a complete mess.
She sighed and slid off the leather jacket that she had on and held it out to me. “Here, I’ll just put on a sweater. The jacket will look better with your outfit anyways.”
I turned to thank her but stopped in my tracks. What I saw was not what I had expected. There were fresh cuts that were angrily running up and down her arms. My eyes went wide, but my mouth stayed shut as I put on the jacket.
I wasn’t sure what to say . . . What even was there to say?
We both stayed silent for a few moments and stared at each other. Neither of us dared to say anything to the other. However, soon enough, she began to cry hysterically.
“Why? Why me?” She sobbed, and I quickly wrapped my arms around her crying frame despite the pain in my sides and back. “Why did all of this have to happen? Why did I have to live?”
I shushed her as she hugged me back tightly.
I knew exactly the feeling of wondering why I couldn’t have just died instead of staying alive. I had no idea of her situation, but I knew that feeling well. I could relate to her so easily.
She sobbed louder, and I rubbed her back gently, just letting her let it all out. She needed someone to let it all out to. I was glad to be the one there for her because I wouldn’t judge her for it. Heck, I felt the same damn way most of the time.
Her sobbing quieted after a few moments and she sighed.
“Why does he hate me, Aubry? Why can’t he just see that I need him? I didn’t mean to let myself be so vulnerable . . . I-I . . . I didn’t mean not to fight, but . . . but I couldn’t.”
I had no idea what to say because I had no idea what she was talking about.
“I mean, I know that I’m ugly with this disgusting scar on my face . . . but he can’t even look at me!” She began crying hard again. She was hysterical.
I didn’t understand. Who hated her? What was she talking about?
“I mean my own brother . . . Isn’t family supposed to stick together through thick and thin? He won’t stick up for me, he won’t talk to me, he won’t look at me. When people push me around, he just ignores it! Probably even thinks that I deserve it. He knows what I went through! B-But . . . He just doesn’t care.”
“He doesn’t hate you,” I finally found myself saying. “Hey, look at me . . . You are so beautiful,” I told her gently and wiped some tears away for her. “Your scars don’t make you ugly, Bri. Your scars show where you’ve been and what you’ve overcome.”
I smiled and showed her my scarred-up wrists when I lifted the jacket arms to my elbows. She touched the healed wounds that I had inflicted on myself a while back. She said nothing as she touched them.
“Aiden doesn’t hate you, Bri. I don’t know what happened between you two, but he doesn’t hate you. I know that he doesn’t. He’s going through something, so let him go through it, okay? He’s hurt and angry and lost . . . But he loves his family, including you.”
I hugged her once again.
“You don’t need him to stand up for you. It would be nice, and he should. But you don’t need him to.”
I pulled her back to arm length and stared into her eyes. “You are so beautiful, so don’t let the assholes get to you, okay? Family will come together in the end . . . Y’all just have to heal,” I said it all quickly, trying to comfort her. The truth is, I had absolutely no idea what she was talking about. The things that I was saying were things that were very true, but I just couldn’t get myself to believe them for me. I just hoped that she believed in them. They were the truth.
Finally, after a few more minutes, she stopped crying. “Thank you, Aubry. I was wrong about you. I’m glad that Aiden brought you here.”
She walked to the mirror and speedily fixed her makeup and slipped on her sweater.
“You ready?” I asked, standing up while holding out my hand for her to take.
“Why didn’t you ask—” she asked suddenly when she grasped my hand. “—about any of it?” she added.
I knew what she was talking about—her scars and the story behind them.
I thought for a second before answering, “Every scar has a story. Some stories are harder than others, and I know that firsthand. I figured that if you wanted me to know, then you’d tell me the stories . . . on your own time, without me prying.”
I shrugged and sighed. “I understand the guilt and shame that you might feel. It might be way off base, but we as humans have some sick mindset that we deserve the bad things in life . . . but we don’t. You don’t.”
I smiled at her sadly. “When you are ready, I will be glad to listen and be there for you. Don’t hurt yourself anymore. You’ve already been through enough. It’s time to start processing emotions, so you can let go of the past and finally be done with whatever happened. It’s easier said than done, I know. But I can help you through it if you want me to.”
“Thank you. Aubry, thank you for all of this. I appreciate it more than words can say. I’m happy to see someone who is so strong. It’s a good thing for me to look up to. I hope to be able to do that one day.”
Finally, we both walked out of the room. I was happy to see that she actually had an expression on her face. I was hoping that it was the end of her numbness, she deserved more than a life of that.
As we walked down the hall, I heard her sigh and touch the picture of her father. I sucked in a sharp breath at that action.
Just when I thought I was doing good, an unexpected reminder comes along to remind me that I would never be good.
***
Aiden
It had been so long since Bri took Aubry into her room. Pretty much everyone had arrived, and both of the girls were still nowhere to be found. Even Cece was asking about Aubry after the first people arrived.
Honestly, how long did it take to get one girl ready for dinner?
I truly wouldn’t have even gotten her to change if my mom hadn’t suggested it. I thought she looked just fine in her jeans and plain top. It was a step-up from the sweats that were her usual uniform, though I honestly thought she looked fine in those too. Still, I could see how that would have bothered Aubry to be the odd one out by not dressing up, so I was glad that my mom thought about it.
I sighed and looked at the clock on the wall. Seriously, where the hell were they? I shouldn’t have cared so much. I mean, Aubry was just supposed to be there because it was supposed to make Pawpaw happy. However, I couldn’t help but be worried—worried about Aubry and worried about Briana, though that was a completely different story altogether.
All of the family was there, and I seriously needed someone to save me from my crazy bitch of a step-cousin, Stephanie. Obviously, Tommy wasn’t going to try to save me. He just kept laughing at me.
Stephanie had been all sorts of clingy after my uncle Johnny, Tommy’s dad, died. Ever since Tom and I were willed the gym. Sylvia had tried to reverse the will, saying that my uncle was in a bad state of mind when he wrote it. She said that two teenagers couldn’t possibly manage a business.
Luckily though, he gave a share to both Tom and me and then a small portion to my mom as well. That small percentage was plenty enough for a judge to allow the will to stand, and for Sylvia to not get her way. Ever since that day though, Stephanie had been all over me.
I wasn’t completely sure why the two of them were acting like that. It wasn’t like the gym brought a whole lot of money in or anything. It was enough to keep it afloat, for me to help my mom with bills, and to put money away for college—if I even decided to go. Though, th
e real estate land was probably worth quite a bit. I still wasn’t completely sure what they were tripping about.
I looked at the clock again, another ten minutes had passed.
Seriously, what the heck? I sighed and looked to the floor in annoyance.
Suddenly, the whole room was silent.
I looked up instantly due to the awkward silence and moved my eyes towards the door.
There she was.
I couldn’t think of anything other than how beautiful she looked. Don’t get me wrong, I always had some sort of weird infatuation with her, but right then . . . she was absolutely gorgeous.
Her long dark brown wavy hair was cascading down past the middle of her back. The black dress that she had on, showed off just how small her waist actually was. Not to mention her lips, they were painted red and I caught myself wondering what they tasted like. She was absolutely breathtaking.
Okay Aiden, stop. That’s Aubry you’re talking about. Aubry. She’s not even your type!
My face was abruptly pulled away from looking at Aubry. Before I could even question who it was that was trying to manhandle me, I came face to face with Stephanie. She gave me an annoying smile, and I had to hold in a rude groan.
“Who’s the loser?” she asked viciously.
I frowned deeply at her words. Could the girl be any more annoying? As my mom constantly reminded me, she was still family, and I had to be nice even if she was the most annoying person who I had ever met, and I wanted nothing to do with her.
When I looked away from Stephanie and back to where Aubry had been, she was gone. I stupidly almost panicked for a second before I spotted her across the way. She was grinning at my grandpa as they spoke.
She was gorgeous and that smile on her face was my favorite. I admonished myself once again for that thought. I really needed to get that under control.
My grandpa slowly walked away with a big smile and gave me a thumbs-up as she made her way to us.
“Wow Aubry, you clean up nice,” Tommy said, whistling and spinning her around playfully. Something about the glint in his eyes made me want to hit him. I rolled my eyes at myself again. I was getting too attached.
“It was all Briana!” she stated with a small smile while looking over at Bri. She then looked over at me.
I opened my mouth to tell her how gorgeous she was, but I was quickly cut off by the girl next to me.
“Isn’t that dress way too big for you? Do you even have boobs? because I can’t tell,” she said rudely.
Aubry’s face fell for a second, but she quickly recovered and plastered a fake smile on her face. She had perfected that smile long ago, I could tell.
“I’m Stephanie by the way,” my step-cousin said as she was leaning way too far over me with her boobs pressed against my arm.
It felt gross, not the fact that she was throwing herself on me (I was used to that), but the fact that she was doing it in front of Aubry, it felt gross.
Still, I didn’t say anything. I was over it, but I still didn’t want my mom to be pissed off at me. I had already gotten in trouble several times for being rude to Stephanie and her mother.
“I’m Aubry,” I heard Aubry finally say as she stuck her hand out for Stephanie to shake. Stephanie gave her a dirty look and scoffed. Aubry rolled her eyes and looked toward Tommy shaking her head.
“Now you’ve met my nightmare of a step-sister,” Tommy said shuddering. I held my laughter in at his accurate comment.
Aubry laughed a little and then turned to us. “Wait, doesn’t that mean you’re cousins then?” she asked.
“We’re step-cousins actually,” Stephanie basically yelled quickly. I rolled my eyes at her correction and shuddered at the thought.
“Oh hey! There’s Quasimodo!” she exclaimed as Briana walked by.
Briana looked hurt but said nothing. Aubry’s mouth hung open at the exclamation. I furrowed my eyebrows, trying to figure out what that name was from.
Aubry opened her mouth with a furious look on her face. However, just before she got out what she was about to say, my mom interrupted her, “Dinner is served everyone!”
It was a good thing too because Aubry looked like she was going to punch Stephanie. I just wondered what that name meant if it had set her off so badly. I just had a bad feeling.
We all walked into the dining room quietly and took our seats. I was pleased that Aubry was next to me and not Stephanie. I didn’t want to deal with her wandering hands all throughout dinner.
“Ew, who brought this trash here?” my aunt Sylvia, who sat next to her daughter and was the furthest adult away from my mom asked, looking at Aubry.
Sylvia was a complete nightmare, but she was still my aunt (supposedly), so I was expected to be nice to her. At least that’s what my mom said. However, she wasn’t seated next to my mom, so she didn’t have to deal with her or her daughter. I knew she did that on purpose. It was the perks of being a host, you could choose seating.
Aubry ignored her while silently looking at her plate.
“Everyone, I just wanted to introduce Aubry,” my mom said with a smile. “She is Aiden’s friend.”
Everyone turned to look at my guest. They all gawked at her openly. She looked extremely uncomfortable and tried not to cower away, it looked difficult for her to do though.
“Wow, that’s who you’re dating, scum like that? You can do so much better,” Sylvia said with a disgusted look as everyone else went on with their own conversations.
I felt anger seep into my mind. Still, I bit my tongue out of politeness, not feeling like it was my place to defend her. Aubry had proven many times over that she could take care of herself. Besides, anytime that I’ve defended anyone before, it blew up in my face and made things so much worse.
“She’s not my girlfriend,” I found myself saying as I glanced over at Aubry, who had picked up her fork and shoveled food into her mouth.
The whole family ate in awkward silence for a few moments. That was when my uncle Paul decided to take it upon himself to make conversation. I just wished that my uncle Chris was there, he’d be the life of the party.
“So Aubry, what do your parents do?” my uncle Paul asked loudly.
A look of annoyance flashed across her face, but still she answered in kind, “My dad is a factory worker.” She paused for a moment with an uncomfortable look. “And my mother is dead.”
The whole room audibly gasped and offered meaningless condolences to her. I had no idea.
“Probably a drug overdose.” Stephanie sniggered quietly from across the table to her mom. I almost kicked the bitch for that; she knew that was a sensitive subject for all of us.
I looked at her, wanting to yell some profanities at her, but before I could, my uncle continued with the awkward conversation. “Do you have any siblings?”
Aubry’s eyes visible dulled. “Yes, I have one sister. She’s about five years older than me. She goes to UCLA.”
Paul pressed on in his practical interrogation of her. “What about you? Where do you want to go to college?” I cringed at the subject. That was also a little bit of a sore subject in our family. “And . . . What about you, Aiden? You’re a senior. Are you going to college or are you going to drop out like Thomas did?”
I winced when his voice changed into a scoff at the mention of Tom and how he had dropped out. He was very disappointed in Tom for that, but to me, it was understandable. I mean, Tommy had just lost his father. So what if he didn’t want to go to college right then? Yes, he was smart as heck, but he was also broken. All he had left was his bitch of a step-mom since his mom died when he was only a baby. It wasn’t crazy for him to drop out after only a couple weeks of class.
I saw Tommy visibly tense up at the talk about his college. He knew that everyone was mad at him for “wasting his potential”, but he also didn’t want to care.
I sighed when I realized that Aubry was going to make me go first with my answer, “Um, honestly I don’t know . . . I don’t know if I
am comfortable leaving mom and the girls here by themselves.”
Briana snorted unbelievably and laughed slightly.
I didn’t blame her for laughing at my declaration with the way that I had been treating her. She didn’t understand that my actions were what was best for everyone involved in the situation. She didn’t understand that my removal from her situation was for her; not against.
A few people rolled their eyes at my statement because it was open-ended and not stable. My extended family was big on appearances. How was it going to look if both Tommy and I skipped college? I didn’t really care though; it was my decision.
Eventually, everyone looked to Aubry for her answer. She uncomfortably fidgeted under their attention. “I haven’t really thought about college too much. I was just planning on going to wherever gives me a scholarship . . .” she said, not glancing up.
The silence in the room was unbearable and heavy; it looked like my uncle had decided not to continue with his questions because he wasn’t getting the answers that he wanted.
“So . . . What about you Quasi?” Sylvia said with a smirk and shared a nasty face with her daughter. “You’re a junior, you should be thinking about college by now.”
I really didn’t understand the nickname. It sounded familiar, but I couldn’t exactly place it. Everyone else looked pretty confused too. Even Tommy, and he was too smart to ever be confused.
“Are you ever going to get your ugly scar fixed?” Stephanie added, making me tense in anger.
I was about to snap, along with a lot of others at the table, but Aubry acted first.
“What did you just call her? Quasi? As in Quasimodo?! The Hunchback of Notre Dame?” Aubry’s voice was strong and laced with so much anger.
I tensed even more at that revelation. How could people who were supposed to be in our family be so mean?
“Do you think that’s okay? Do you think that’s an okay thing to call your niece?”
Aubry was worked up, and I had known her enough to know that when she was worked up, there was no stopping her. It was like a switch gets flipped in her brain, and she goes into savage mode. It was usually only during a fight, but I was learning quickly that it wasn’t the only time.
Fighting For Life Page 18
