I would have never done what she had, but I also wasn’t the one that had to raise me. I was so awful that my parents and all of their friends hated and neglected me. I couldn’t imagine that Kelsey liked me much better. At least she loved me enough to care for me until I was able to do so on my own. I mean, I took her whole childhood away from her by her having to raise me. The least that I could do was let her have her adulthood free of me.
I felt the tears flowing down my face and finally I looked at Aiden. “She’s alive . . . she’s alive,” I finally said.
I took a deep breath to calm down and handed the phone back to him. It vibrated once again.
“Block her. I just needed to know she was alive. She doesn’t really want to talk to me. She’s just feeling guilty after hearing my voice. I love her enough to understand.”
“But—” he started and looked at me.
I practically begged him with my eyes to do as I said.
“Okay . . . I will. But . . . Maybe she really does want you in her life, Aubry. Maybe you should hear her out?” he said as he went to her number and pressed block.
I shook my head. “She doesn’t want any reminders of her past, especially me.”
I knew that it was true. I wouldn’t want to be around me either if I were her. Hell, I don’t want to be around me most of the time, and I am me.
“I’m glad she’s okay,” he whispered to me and grasped my hand. “I still think that you should at least listen to her, but it’s your call. If she doesn’t want you in her life . . . it’s her loss.”
I rolled my eyes at him.
“No, listen . . .” He cupped my cheek and looked me in the eyes. “You’re amazing. You’re smart. You’re helpful. I can’t even imagine my life without you in it anymore.”
I shook my head in protest at his words, but he stopped me with a look.
“It’s like nothing made sense before you. I will never understand how your sister just left you. I don’t understand how your sister has been able to pretend that you just don’t even exist when you are the best person that I know.” He paused and tucked a piece of hair behind my ear. “You deserve the world, Aub. You deserve everything that you’ve ever wanted. Your sister is going to see that you’re so amazing one of these days. I genuinely just hope it’s not too late when she does realize.”
I closed my eyes and leaned into his mesmerizing touch. “I don’t deserve you,” I whispered as I shook my head.
“Aubry, look at me,” he said quickly in a demanding voice.
I opened my eyes and stared into his bright blue eyes. They were soft and full of determination.
“You deserve so much more than just me. Because of that, I will work so hard to be the man that you need and deserve . . . I want to give you everything.”
I opened my mouth to tell him to stop, but he cut me off.
“Aubry, quit doubting yourself. You are the most amazing person that I’ve ever met. Don’t sell yourself short. Let yourself be happy.”
I looked at him, trying to find any indication that he was lying. I couldn’t find one. I closed my eyes and breathed deeply. I tried to fight his words and pull on me, but it was so damn hard. I didn’t want to fight it.
I reopened my eyes and stared into his caring eyes. I could see everything that I wanted to be in them. I could feel myself slowly giving into him. I was slowly taking down every wall that I had ever built. Eventually, I’d be bare to him, and that was a dangerous place to be for me.
I knew that it was dumb . . . I wasn’t right for him. Everything that I had done, everything that I was, everything that was done to me . . . it made me all wrong for him. It made me tainted and impure. Aiden deserved so much more than what I was. However, I was selfish. He deserved more, but he wanted me. While God knew that I deserved nothing, I still needed him.
I leaned into him as he did the same to me. We were only inches apart.
That was it, my decision. I was going to be his. I wanted to be everything that he needed me to be.
“Can I kiss you?” Aiden asked me just before our lips were going to collide.
I stared wide-eyed at him. Had he really just asked me if he could kiss me? I smiled widely at him. Everything had always been taken unwillingly and unexpectedly from me. I was never asked before. I had never been asked for my permission for anything.
I let out a small giggle and closed my eyes. I wanted my first willing kiss to be with Aiden.
“Please?” I whispered desperately, needing to feel his touch.
With that word, his lips were on mine instantly.
The kiss was slow and gentle. I wrapped my arms around his neck. He kept one hand on my cheek and the other on my neck. We pulled away from each other after not too long and simply just stared at each other again.
There was so much tension in the air. We were both breathing hard, even though the kiss was simple and slow. There was still so much want in me.
Suddenly, I surprised both of us as I grabbed his shirt hastily. With no words, I pulled him against me. I needed more from him than a simple light kiss.
Our lips collided once again, and that time, neither one of us held back.
My hands were in his hair, tugging it softly. He let out a deep moan as I did so, making my insides burn. He licked my lip, and I immediately opened myself up for him, feeling like I needed even more of him. His hand slid down my back as his tongue explored my mouth. I let out a breathy moan as I felt goose bumps rise all over my body.
I had never felt like that before. Aiden was making me feel things that I had never even thought that I would ever feel.
***
Aiden
“Aubry look at me,” I demanded.
I was upset that she truly believed that she didn’t deserve the things that she wanted. She thought that she didn’t deserve me. She deserved so much more than me.
She looked at me. Her eyes were full of sadness, and I hated it. That girl had been through so much in her life. She deserved the whole world.
“You deserve so much more than just me. Because of that, I will work so hard to be the man that you need and deserve. I want to give you everything.”
She was going to argue, but I never gave her the chance.
“Aubry, quit doubting yourself. You are the most amazing person that I’ve ever met. Don’t sell yourself short. Let yourself be happy.”
I meant it with every fiber of my being. I needed her to realize that she meant everything to me. I wanted her to understand that she really could be happy. I wanted to make her happy.
She studied me for a few moments. I could tell that she was having some sort of inner war with herself, so I just sat there, studying her while her thoughts stream through her mind.
She closed her eyes and breathed deeply. When she reopened her eyes, that was it . . . I needed her.
Her eyes softened as she looked at me. The longer our eyes remained locked on each other, the softer her eyes got. Eventually, her eyes were completely opened to me, and there was nothing guarding them anymore. I could see all of that fire that made her so unique and beautiful in their depths. She was drawing me in and making me lose any self control that I thought I had.
She began leaning towards me, and I did the same. I needed her. I wanted to be anything for her. In that moment, I could tell that she wanted the same.
“Can I kiss you?” I asked right before our lips met.
It just felt right for me to ask for her permission. I wanted her to want to kiss me. I wanted it to be out of her own free will with no confusion attached. I wanted to hear that she wanted me to kiss her.
The smile that she wore on her face after my question was wide and real. Any anxiety that had popped up was long gone when that smile appeared. She let out a cute giggle and closed her eyes, leaning into me once again.
“Please?” she said with so much desperation in her voice that I had to stop myself from attacking her lips hastily.
That was what I was too . . . desp
erate for her.
My lips met hers in an instant. I didn’t want to scare her away with how much I actually wanted her, so I held back. This kiss was gentle and tender. My hands stayed near her face, not daring to venture to any other uncharted territories. Hers were wrapped around my neck.
I felt desperate for more, but I stopped myself.
We pulled away from each other and we’re both out of breath. The tension in the air was thick, making me feel like a dog panting for air in the summer heat. I didn’t understand how just one girl could make me feel so many things. She was making me crazy.
I caught Aubry’s eyes, and the fire that was in them surprised me.
Suddenly, with no warning, she grabbed my shirt authoritatively and pulled me to her.
That kiss was desperate. All our feelings were poured into it. She needed more from me, just like I needed more from her.
I was encouraged by her little breathy moans as my hands ran down her back. I didn’t think that I had ever heard such a beautiful sound.
Due to breathing restrictions, however, we eventually had to part. Though, it was very reluctant on my side.
I held her closely as we both caught our breaths from the heated kiss. We stared at each other for a moment and the way her green eyes lit up with attraction made me want her even more.
I had to look away. I felt like I was going to spontaneously combust if she continued looking at me the way she was. I had no idea what I was doing. Aubry was way out of my league and a brand-new territory for me.
“Wow,” I said dumbly.
That was by far the most amazing kiss that I ever had.
I gave her one last quick peck on the lips and laid down quickly, pulling her down with me.
We both looked up at the stars. I was happy when she settled her head on my chest with her face pointed up and away from me. I was scared of my actions if I continued looking at her.
I covered us quickly with the other blanket that I had brought along, and we just cuddled. We stared up at the beautiful sky for a long time in silence. However, I kept stealing glances of the real beauty that was lounging on me. I wanted to just stare at her all night, but I didn’t want her to think that I was some sort of psycho. Although she was too entranced with the stars to barely even notice, I still tried to keep my composure.
“Aubry . . .” I said reluctantly.
She looked up at me, and I could feel the familiar tingle in my core as she did. I quickly looked away and scolded myself to get my feelings under control.
“I think it’s time to go. It’s pretty late . . . like three in the morning, late.”
We both got into the truck quickly. I avoided looking at her purposefully. She was just too beautiful, and I wasn’t sure if I could stop myself again if we had another kiss like the one from before. I was being a crazy fool.
After a few moments of silence passed, she finally spoke, “Aiden . . . you don’t . . .” She paused and composed herself. “You don’t regret it, do you? Kissing me, I mean. You hardly even look at me.”
I slammed the breaks and looked at her in utter disbelief. “What?!”
How could she even think that? That was probably the best night of my life so far because of her. I wanted her too damn much. That was the problem.
I slid across the bench seat and grabbed her cheeks, making her look at me. I kissed her slowly and thoroughly. I didn’t want to pull away, but I knew that I had to.
“Aubry, you have no idea how long I’ve been wanting to do that. I have been trying not to look at you for two reasons. One, because I didn’t want you to think that I’m super creepy or a weirdo. I mean, we just made out, and now I just want to stare at you all night, which honestly sounds like a psychopath. Trust me, if I could stare at you all the time, I would. But in a very non-creepy-you’re-the-most-beautiful-thing-I’ve-ever-laid-my-eyes-on type of way,” I said quickly, making myself sound even crazier.
“Two?” she asked softly.
I took a long breath preparing myself for the embarrassment that I was about to bestow upon myself. “Every time I look at you, I start getting all hot and bothered and turned on. Now that we’ve kissed, and I’ve felt how amazing that feels with you, I could just kiss you every time I look at you.”
I looked up at her, and she looked rather amused. “I mean, I’m sure it’ll pass. That was just the best kiss that I’ve ever had! A-And that was just the first one of many that I hope are to come,” I said it, and I felt my cheeks get hot in embarrassment.
She smirked at me, teasing me playfully. She was absolutely so beautiful. With no warning, she grabbed my face, then kissed me hard. It was very quick, but satisfying. She then pulled away just as quickly, not giving me a chance to react.
“I’m glad that I have the same effect on you that you have on me,” she said with a grin. “Sooo . . . Does this mean that I get to kiss you whenever I want?” she asked me while boldly looking at me up and down.
That time, I smirked at her. “Only if I get to do the same,” I said and looked over at her.
She nodded immediately and kissed me on the cheek, making me grin even wider.
I finally began driving again.
What is my family going to think? I wondered to myself as we pulled up to the house.
As if she could read my mind, she looked at me nervously. “Do you think that we could not tell everyone just yet? I would really like at least a few days just to process all of this with it just being me and you.”
I smiled at her brightly. “I was just thinking the same thing,” I said with a nod and a laugh.
She laughed along with me harmoniously, making me stop to admire her. She sobered up quickly with how close I subconsciously slid to her. I moved her long side bangs from her eyes and studied her beautiful face. I couldn’t find a single flaw in it.
“Sleep in my room tonight?” I asked desperately.
She looked at me with big doe eyes.
Before she could answer, I pulled her to me and crashed my lips to hers once again. She responded immediately. That time, she was the one that licked my lips. I teased her and didn’t open my mouth for her.
She groaned frustratedly into the kiss, making me want to laugh. After a moment, she sucked my lower lip into her mouth sensually. After a split-second of her teasing it, she nipped it playfully, making me gasp partially in shock and partially in pleasure.
That gasp gave her the opening she needed to stick her tongue in my mouth and explore it expertly. She moaned quietly as my hands drew soft circles in her back under her T-shirt. I so badly wanted to just tear it off of her, but I restrained myself.
I finally pulled away from her a few seconds later and rested my forehead on hers.
Dammit, what was this girl doing to me?
She giggled and shook her head softly. “Do you think it’s a good idea for me to sleep with you in your bed? I mean, look at us . . . We can barely control ourselves right now . . . in this truck.”
“I’ll be the perfect gentleman, and you’ll be the perfect lady. Just like last night, like before . . .” I paused and looked at her bright eyes. Yesterday seemed so long ago. “Please? I just sleep so much better when you’re with me. I also couldn’t help but notice that you didn’t have a nightmare last night after you got in bed with me. I didn’t have mine either. It’s just . . .” I trailed off, not knowing what to say.
“Better. It’s just better,” she finished my thought exactly.
“It’s just better when you’re with me.”
She smiled at me and nodded, pecking my lips softly. “But no funny business.”
I nodded and pecked her lips back.
“No funny business,” I agreed.
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Boundaries
Aubry
It had been a few weeks since we had begun whatever it was that we had begun. I didn’t think that I could ever be happy, but just the way he looked at me put a smile on my face.
I was happy . . . hap
py with Aiden.
What we “officially” were, I had no idea. We obviously were not just friends, but we also were not officially boyfriend and girlfriend either. The only thing that I knew for sure was that I liked kissing him, hugging him, touching him, and simply looking at him. I just liked him, so much.
What is this guy doing to me? It was a thought that I had quite often because I truly wasn’t sure. He made me feel things that I never had before. I had no idea what to make of it.
I stared at Aiden as he punched the pads that Brandon had in his hands. The way his biceps rippled when he pulled back to punch gave me a warm sensation in my core. Well, to be honest, pretty much everything he did gave me that warming sensation. He was attractive, there was no denying that.
“Come on dude, you’re hitting even softer than Aubry!” Brandon said, making me glare at him.
“And what is that supposed to mean exactly?” I asked, raising my eyebrows as Aiden smirked at Brandon. “Do I need to tell you to go look in the mirror at your nose?” I asked sweetly while smirking at his expression.
He subconsciously touched his now broken nose.
He had decided to spar me a few days prior. Though, neither one of us made it out unscathed, I had a nasty bruise on my cheek and a busted eyebrow. He, however, had several bruises all over his face plus a broken nose.
Needless to say that I won that fight.
“Yeah! Does she need to beat you up again?!” Tommy asked with a loud laugh.
Brandon rolled his eyes but genuinely smiled at me.
“Come on. Just one more combo, then we need to close up,” Tommy said, still laughing at Brandon’s defeat.
“Am I gonna have to kick your ass?” Brandon asked Tommy with a smirk.
That only made Tommy laugh harder.
Aiden and Brandon went back to working on Aiden’s combos after Brandon flipped Tommy off. The sensation in my stomach returned tenfold, he was just so damn attractive.
After a few more minutes, they were done, and we all headed to the training room to get our stuff. I leaned against the counter and watched all of the boys around me. However, my eyes kept lingering over to only one of them.
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