My fists immediately balled up as Bri let out a loud whimper. I was about to get up from my seat. I wasn’t really sure what for because I really shouldn’t have been angry. I shouldn’t have been angry at someone for seeing what I saw in her. However, I was. Besides that, he was with Bri! So, yes, I was mad!
“As a goddam friend!” Brandon said angrily. “Do either of you truly think that I could ever do that to y’all? If you do, then you don’t know me at all. Briana, I love you. I have loved you forever. I would never hurt you like that, and Aiden, what the fuck? You are my best friend. I would never do that to you. Besides, Aubry is yours, Aiden. She always has been. She’s perfect for you in so many ways that it makes me sick.”
“Look Aid, even if you are mad right now . . . You’ll forgive her. I just hope, for your sake, that it’s not too late when you get your head out of your own ass. She completes you and understands you in ways that no one else can. you need to remember that.” He breathed out and reached out for Bri.
“You’re treading thin ice, Brandon,” I warned. I didn’t want to talk about it.
He held up his hands in surrender. “I’m just saying Aiden, you know her, and you love her. Think about that as you try to hate her. I know you don’t think so, but she loves you so much that she’d do anything for you. S-she’s been through some shit, Aid; you need to understand that.”
I stood up from the couch hastily and grunted. “Look, I’m glad that you’re helping her. B-But . . . I just . . . I can’t. She still sold drugs, and those drugs still killed my dad. You’re right. I love her so much that it even suffocates me at night when she’s not there. The nightmares don’t even bother me anymore because sleeping without her is almost as bad as being awake without her. However, it still doesn’t stop my mind from reminding me what she did. She moved in with us knowing what she did. She lied to everyone and made us all love her under false guises. I’m glad you’re helping her, I really am. I couldn’t bear it if something bad happened to her because of me. I want to love her. I want to forgive her.” I paused as I almost felt like crying. “But I just . . . I can’t forget. I can’t . . . I-I don’t want to. I just—”
I cut myself off and stormed out of the house. I was done.
***
The next day I walked into the cafeteria. I was half expecting Bri and Brandon to be sitting with Aubry, pretending that nothing was wrong. Instead, Bri was at the table we had been sitting at, and Brandon was making his way over to her from Aubry’s table.
Oh Aubry . . .
She had a brown lunch sack in front of her as she was just staring off into space. I wanted to be happy that I wasn’t going to have to make her sandwiches anymore. I wanted to be happy that I was going to finally be able to wash my hands of her. However, for some crazy reason I enjoyed doing that for her. The half of myself that still wanted her, loved that connection to her while the other half despised it.
I was a psycho. I was going insane.
Her short hair was newly fixed as it was cut all into one length. The very pretty shoulder-length hairstyle suited her well. It brought out her slender face and high cheek bones. Plus, it didn’t hide her pretty face as much.
She looked beautiful; she always did.
As if she felt me staring at her, she whipped her head around to me. Our eyes locked. I was shocked for a moment that she finally met my eyes once again. Both of us were avoiding eye contact the previous weeks, so I just stared openly at her. Even from far away, I could see her bright green eyes so clearly. They were just so captivating.
I concentrated on her quite intensely. I was picking apart every single little movement that she made. She looked as if she wanted to look away, but she simply just couldn’t. We had the same effect on each other.
Eventually, she gave her left forearm a hard squeeze as she still stared. That was all that was needed for her to tear her eyes away from me. She grabbed the lunch bag and her backpack then ran out of the lunchroom quickly.
Well, I guess I won that stare-off.
“So, I guess you’ve worked it out,” I commented as I sat down across from my sister and her boyfriend.
Bri shrugged. “I mean, she was my best friend. I don’t want her getting her hurt. After we discussed it, I understand how Brandon feels. He sees her as a little sister. He has to protect her, and I have to respect that. Besides, no matter how upset I am at her, I’d never want her to get stolen, raped, and killed or something along those lines.”
Brandon went rigid as she finished, and I wasn’t the only one that noticed.
Briana furrowed her eyebrows at her boyfriend and rubbed his back softly.
“Brandon? Babe, you okay?”
He nodded silently as he glanced at Aubry’s table.
I looked at him suspiciously but shrugged it away. I had known Brandon for practically my whole life, he was a weird dude. So, I really wasn’t all that worried about it.
“So,” I cleared my throat awkwardly. “How is she?”
“She blames herself too,” Brandon said slowly. “Honestly, she’s not doing all that great. She’s punishing herself harder than anyone else ever could.”
My heart hurt at his words. My heart longed for Aubry. However, right on cue, my head told me how pathetic I was for still loving her. I just bit my tongue trying not to react.
“You’re a good friend, Brandon,” I whispered softly as we all sat in awkward silence.
“I know, dude.” He laughed out loud. “You definitely owe me one.”
He looked at Aubry’s table and frowned at her absence but didn’t comment on it.
“I have a question for both of you by the way.” My ears perked up slightly as I looked at him expectantly. “Did either one of you leave sandwiches in Aubry’s locker every single day?”
We both stayed silent for a minute.
“It was Aiden’s idea, I just gave him the locker combo,” Briana finally answered.
Brandon’s eyes found mine instantly. “You left her sandwiches everyday?” he questioned me with a small smirk on his face.
I shrugged. “I saw how much she was withering away. I couldn’t let that happen to her, no matter how pissed I am at her,” I answered shortly. “Do not tell her that it was me.”
“You two need to quit making me your fucking secret keeper,” Brandon grumbled. “Fine, but she already knows that it wasn’t me. That doesn’t leave very many other suspects.”
I looked at her table again as I sighed heavily. I screwed everything up. I wanted her, but I wasn’t supposed to want her. I felt like a crazy person.
***
Aubry
The days passed like the wind, and I was ready to fight. Once I stopped cutting so much, I started to feel a little bit better. I was even able to hit a little bit harder. I was so ready to hit someone. I was ready to take my anger and despair out on someone else.
With Brandon and his family helping me, I was feeling a bit more relaxed. However, along with that relaxation, I was feeling even more guilty. Linda and Brandon’s sisters had adopted me as their own, and I appreciated them so much. That also made me guilty too. It made me think of the other family that I was accepted into. It made the hole in my chest ache even more.
I missed them so much. I screwed everything up.
I was sitting at the bar at the Underground, waiting for my fight to be called. I was ready. I wanted to feel something other than my hurt and guilt. I wanted to take my frustrations out on something.
I was only a couple of drinks in when I was called up. I was so ready. I wanted to beat the crap out of someone and then get trashed.
Brandon caught my eye as I got up from the bar. He gave me an encouraging smile. I nodded at him once in acknowledgment.
Before I turned away towards the mats, I caught Aiden’s eyes. His stare stopped me in my tracks and pinned me in place. I couldn’t tear my eyes away from him. It was pathetic.
I tried, I really did, but I couldn’t look away. His blue eyes cut into me li
ke knives. We both just watched each other pitifully.
It was long and awkward. However, he finally looked away from me with a deep frown on his face whenever Tom said something to him.
Well, at least I won that stare-off.
I was overly angry when I got up to the mats. The guy that I was facing was being a bit cocky, so I feigned innocence and let him underestimate me as we waited for the bets to be placed. That was his mistake.
My anger fueled my body during the fight, and I unleashed my pent-up aggressions on the guy’s face. I wanted to be sorry when I was finally pulled away from the guy, but I couldn’t find that emotion in me. I just felt anger and pain, although, the fight did ease those slightly.
Needless to say, I won the fight within just a few minutes.
After my fight was Aiden’s. He avoided my eyes as we passed each other going opposite ways. When I finally made it through the larger-than-normal crowd and to the bar, I ordered a drink. I waited desperately. I just wanted relief from my overwhelming emotions.
Before I even got my drink, Aiden had won his fight. I didn’t even get to watch it because it happened so fast in less than a minute. It was a one-hit knockout.
I was screwed. There was no roundabout way to put it. If I made it to the finals with him, I was done. I would be completely and totally screwed. It would be like a humiliating, public stoning of myself. Not that I didn’t deserve it, because I absolutely did. I just wasn’t ready for it. I was just screwed.
I sat at the bar and nursed my drink as I scanned the place. To my left and across the room was Aiden and his group. Tom, Bri, and B all looked rather healthy. Aiden just had a scowl on his face as he pointedly avoided looking my way.
I sighed as I immediately averted my gaze. To think that I actually used to be apart of them.
I was such a joke.
I continued scanning the room silently. Soon enough, my eyes landed on a blond guy, sitting on the same side of the bar as me. He was several chairs apart from me.
My eyes flitted back to Aiden and Bri. Aiden seemed to have noticed the person at the same time that I had. He looked like he had seen a ghost.
He quickly went into action as he was conversing with Brandon, trying to get Bri out of the place undetected. We both knew that if he were to see her, then he would surely go over to them just to torment her. Bri had just gotten better from what he had done to her, none of us wanted her to go back into a downward spiral. She was strong but seeing him again could ruin everything for her.
The blond guy was scanning the crowd from right to left. His beady eyes were lazily taking in people carefully. He was probably scoping out his next victim.
I was panicking because Bri was almost in his line of sight. He just needed to turn his head a little to his right, and their group would be noticed. I couldn’t let that happen. They had already been dealing with so much because of me. They certainly didn’t need to deal with his BS.
At that moment, that was the only thing that was running through my mind: Bri and Aiden needed to get out! So, I did the only thing I could think of doing to get that to happen. I got up, grabbed my drink, and walked up behind Ronnie with a smirk.
“Well, I see your hand is better. Damn, I must not have stabbed you in the right place.”
His body stiffened at my comment, but he didn’t turn to me immediately. He slowly brought his hand up to examine it and practically growled. He jerked around to face me with a snarl.
That was exactly what I wanted, it positioned him completely away from Bri.
“Oh, my hand is better now too! Thank you so much for asking!” I said sarcastically as I held up my hand to show him the scars on my fingers.
He stood up in front of me and stared at me hard with a smirk. I looked past him, and just so happened to catch Aiden’s eyes. He was standing there alone now, studying our interaction with a horrified look on his face.
I huffed as I stared at him, trying to discreetly tell him to leave with my eyes. He was supposed to leave! I was giving him a chance to leave! Why didn’t he leave with Bri, B, and Tom?! He needed to leave. He needed to get away from Ronnie, the guy was crazy and was out to get him.
“What’s wrong, cat got your tongue?” I asked innocently and smirked at him.
“Oh no, just wondering where exactly your boyfriend is. I mean, surely, he wouldn’t leave you alone in a dirty old place like this, or would he? I suppose it wouldn’t be the first time. As I recall, you were by yourself during our last interaction as well,” he spoke in an annoying tone that was grating on my already shot nerves.
“Thanks, but that is absolutely none of your concern. Besides, I can take care of myself.”
“Oh, I see what’s going on here. Aiden got tired of fucking you, didn’t he?” he said with malice.
I looked over his shoulder once again as he spoke. Aiden was no longer there, so I took that as my cue to leave.
“Like I said, none of your business,” I said sweetly with a shrug. “Anyways, I’ve got to get going. I just thought I’d come over here to admire my handiwork. Have a great night, dick,” I finished sarcastically and began to walk away.
“Uh, uh, uh, little girl. I think it’s about time that I made good on my promise to you.” He caught my arm before I could leave in a strong ironclad grip.
I almost let out a whimper as his hand clasped tightly around the cuts that were barely beginning to scab over on my bicep. I could have cried right then. However, I sucked it up and shook my head with an exasperated sigh.
“What are you going on about Ronnie?” I huffed at his stupid smirk. “Hurry it up, your BS is hurting my head!” I said impatiently while trying to shrug his grip off.
“You’re right, it wasn’t a promise . . . more of a warning. You’re gonna regret messing with me, Little girl,” he whispered the last part next to my ear, and I felt like throwing up from his closeness.
I looked around but found no one who was paying attention. No one cared in that place. No one cared about me.
“Ronnie, let go now.”
He chuckled at me as he shook his head. “I have the upper hand, little one. What exactly are you going to do? Literally no one will care if I drag you out of this place by your hair while you scream. There’s no one here to save you. Absolutely no one gives a shit about you.”
That realization hit me like a ton of bricks as I looked around and found no one even glancing in our direction. No one was going to help me, and no one cared. I had to be the one to get me out of the situation. I had to do something, but I wasn’t sure what I could do. Ronnie was trained, B said that he was even better than Aiden. Plus, he didn’t fight fair. How was I supposed to compete with that?!
I stared at him while trying to look intimidating. “Ronnie, this is your last warning. Let . . . me . . . go!”
He laughed again. “You’re trapped. Don’t order me around like you have a hand to play, you should be trying to get onto my good side.”
I looked around carefully while trying to devise a plan. Suddenly, the glass in my hand felt like it weighed thirty pounds. I stared at the whiskey and coke for a long moment while trying to decide what to do.
So once again, I did the only thing I could think of. I took my drink and splashed it in Ronnie’s face as he was in the middle of laughing at me still. He let go of my arm with a hiss as he rubbed the coke out of his burning eyes.
He let out an animalistic growl and lurched forward.
Before he could do anything, I repositioned the cup in my hand and bashed it into his head as hard as possible. The glass shattered in my hands, and pieces of glass imbedded themselves into my skin.
Ronnie went down as soon as the glass contacted his head.
I didn’t check to see if he was going to get up or not, I just bolted towards the door.
As I got closer to the door, someone grabbed my upper arm and sped me up. I yelped in surprise and tried to jerk away from the person. I began to try and fight the person off; however, the so
othing voice stopped me in my tracks.
“Hey, hey, hey it’s me, Aubry . . . it’s me!” Aiden said as he sped up even quicker, dragging me out behind him and getting me out of the place in an instant.
With no words, he pulled me to his truck and helped me slide me across the bench seat climbing in behind me. He then stomped on the gas and pulled out of the parking lot, leaving Ronnie and everything else behind.
However, as we pulled out, Ronnie ran out and screamed at us, “I’m going to get you back, little bitch!”
Aiden just sped down the street with an ironclad grip on the steering wheel. I could feel the anger radiating off of him. We rode in silence for several minutes, neither of us said a single word as he drove.
Soon enough, my adrenaline wore off and pretty much everything hurt. My ribs were on complete fire, my hand with the glass in it was excruciating, and my cut-up bicep where Ronnie was holding me was burning. I could feel the tears of pain pooling in my eyes. I tried to choke them back, but the tears wouldn’t stop.
I just stared out the window trying to let the physical pain overwhelm the painful emotions that were swimming in my head.
Eventually, Aiden stopped in the parking lot of a gas station. We both still stayed silent as we sat in the truck. The longer we sat in silence, the angrier Aiden was getting. His breath was speeding up, his grip tightening on the wheel, and his teeth were clenched.
“What the fuck, Aubry?!” Aiden asked in a barely contained tone of voice.
I clenched my eyes shut and looked at my lap as he stared at me.
“What the hell were you thinking?! He could have done something horrible to you!” he exclaimed louder.
“What the fuck me? What the fuck you?!” I yelled back. “I was giving you a chance to escape! I was trying to make sure that he wasn’t going to get to Bri or you,” I yelled angrily at him. How dare he get angry at me for trying to protect him! “I was trying to protect you!”
Fighting For Life Page 61
