My father’s face suddenly darkened, and a small growl left his lips. “Sunny is dead, you stupid bitch.”
My eyes widened and suddenly I had no words. Everyone else in the room seemed stunned into silence as well.
“They found him almost two months ago or something. He was left in an alleyway. He was beaten to death next to Joe’s bar. They said it looked like a drug deal gone bad.” My father had so much anger and bitterness in his voice, it was chilling.
Suddenly, it hit me. Almost two months ago, I was at Joe’s bar in an alleyway and beat up Sunny. A sinking feeling in my stomach began, “W-What was the date?” I asked hesitantly.
My dad shrugged. “I don’t know! I don’t keep up with dates. I just know It was a Tuesday. He went there every Tuesday and Thursday.”
My stomach tightened, and I felt like throwing up. I did it. I knew that I did it. He was dead because of me. I killed someone.
“Do they know who did it? I’d like to give them a handshake,” Aiden asked with a smirk.
“Watch yourself, boy!” my dad warned Aiden. I would have laughed at him if I weren’t going to throw up.
“Just get out! A-and don’t come back!” my sister said from behind her husband.
“You shut the fuck up!” my dad yelled with anger.
“Hey—” Mark started.
However, my dad caught him off guard when he violently pushed him backwards into Kelsey. He tried to stop himself, but he was already falling. He had barely made contact with her left side with his shoulder before she was pulled out of the way from Mark’s fall. Mark hit the ground in a heap, and there was a crunching noise followed by a loud groan from him.
Aiden reacted extremely quickly. He released Kelsey from his arms after he pulled her out of the way. He carefully sat her on my bed as she looked to be in shock. He then suddenly punched my dad in the face two times. It took no time for my father hit the floor. Fury was etched onto Aiden’s face as he waited to see if he was going to get up or not. He never did.
After a few seconds passed, Kelsey tried to get up to tend to her husband.
“Stay,” Tom told her. “I’ll check on him. I don’t want you anywhere near that man,” he said as he pointed to our dad who was laying tight next to Mark. “He did that on purpose. He was trying to hurt you, not him.”
Mark was trying to sit up as he cradled his deformed wrist. The poor guy obviously broke it when he landed on it with his whole body weight. It looked painful, to say the least.
“Alright, call a nurse. His wrist is broken,” Tom said as he helped Mark into a chair.
Aiden went over to my dad and prodded him with his foot. He stirred but he didn’t wake. “He might need a nurse too. His nose is certainly broken,” Aiden called over his shoulder.
A nurse came in after a few moments and looked around the room. “What happened?”
“It’s a long story, but basically he came in the room with no permission. He tried to attack this girl . . .” He pointed towards Kelsey. “. . . by pushing him into her. Luckily, I was able to pull her out of the way, but Mark broke his wrist in the fall. Anyways, I punched the guy because he wouldn’t leave. I was afraid for everyone’s safety,” Aiden said while pointing everyone out.
“What? He just randomly came in here and tried to attack everyone? That doesn’t make any sense,” the nurse said while typing in her portable computer.
“No, not randomly. He’s our dad. He’s been abusive all our lives,” Kelsey said quietly.
“Oh my . . .” she said as other nurses came into the room and took the scene in. “Would you like to file a police report?”
“No, I’m okay, I—” Kelsey began, but Mark cut her off.
“Yes,” he said. Kelsey looked at him wide-eyed. “If we file a police report, then we can possibly get a restraining order put against him, then he won’t ever to be able bother us, or the baby ever again without legal repercussions,” Mark calmly soothed his wife. “I know he’s your dad, babe, but he’s dangerous. He tried to hurt not only you, but our baby today.”
“Okay,” she whispered with a slight nod.
“Looks like his name is Frank Hill,” one of the nurses said that was checking on him. “He was just released from the ER for an overdose,” the nurse continued to read off their computer. “Looks like he’ll be going back to the ER.”
Several people came in to lift my father off of the floor and onto a stretcher. They took him out the door, and I felt relief wash over me.
“Okay, if you’ll follow me, we’ll get your wrist all fixed up. We’ll have a policeman meet us there to speak with you,” the nurse said quickly.
“Hey, why don’t all of you go with them? You know, just in case they need some eyewitnesses,” Aiden told the boys and Bri.
“What? You’re the one that punched him. They’ll want to speak to you too,” B said defiantly.
“If they need to speak to me, I’ll be here,” Aiden said as he looked pointedly at me and then to Brandon, conveying a silent message to him. Brandon accepted that and led the others out of the room.
“Are you okay, Aub?” Aiden asked with a worried look as he retook his usual seat.
The nausea returned with that question. I killed a man. “U-Um, Yeah. I’m, I’m fine,” I tried to say it convincingly, but I was still so shaken up.
“What’s going on, baby? I’m here, talk to me.”
“I-I, ugh. I . . . What if you hate me after what I did? What if I did something terrible?” I whispered and felt tears running down my face.
“I could never hate you, Aub. I won’t leave you ever again. These past months have been torture for the both of us. Let me help you . . .” He said and kissed the back of my hand reassuringly.
I took a deep breath and squeezed my eyes shut.
“It was me,” I said shortly, leaving him confused. “I killed Sunny . . .” I added in a whisper. I began crying profusely after my confession.
He looked at me with wide eyes and then blinked several times. “Y-you?” he asked.
I nodded wordlessly. “I’m a murderer,” I said hoarsely. “He . . . he was trying, he was gonna. He was going to rape me again. I was . . . I was so terrified and mad. Oh God, I was so mad. And . . . and . . .” I trailed off.
“Shhh, baby, shhh . . .” Aiden said as he wrapped me in a warm hug.
I cried into his chest. I actually killed someone! With Jeremy it was different. It wasn’t really me that killed him. But this . . . this was real, criminal murder. I was a murderer!
“Hey, Aubry, love . . . it’s okay,” Aiden said softly and kissed the top of my head. “It was self-defense and honestly, he deserved it.”
“B-But I did it! I am a murderer!” I sobbed.
“No, you protected yourself against a psychopath. Aubry were you scared? Did you think he was going to try to do something to you? Did you mean to kill him?” he asked the questions slowly.
I mulled over them for a few moments. “Yes, I was scared, he w-was trying to rape me. A-And I don’t know . . . I think I was just scared mostly. I mean . . . I hated Sunny, and I might have thought about killing him, but I wouldn’t have purposefully killed him unless he pushed me to it. I don’t remember much from that night except him, touching me and me wanting to erase him and his touch from my life,” I said with a slight gasp as I was trying to regain my breath.
“After what he did to you, you are entitled to that.” He paused and wiped some tears away from my face. “It’s okay, love. He deserved it, and I guarantee you that what you did to him is a lot better than what I was going to do to him once I got ahold of him. In reality, you saved him from some terrible things because I wasn’t going to go easy on him. I was going to purposefully kill him.”
I looked at him with wide eyes as he spoke.
“I’m glad he’s dead. Think of it in the way of no one will ever be hurt by him ever again. He will never hurt you again!” Aiden said quickly.
I had to believe he was right. It was
self-defense, and I didn’t mean to do it.
“Okay,” I whispered and buried my head into his chest. After a few seconds, I looked back at his face. “Do we tell the police?”
“I don’t think so. They’re not looking for a killer, and you have no connection to it. He is out of your life for good. Do what you keep telling everyone else. Turn over a new leaf and start fresh. The past is in the past. Just let it be.” Aiden kissed my forehead, and I nodded.
“I love you,” he spoke in my ear as I cried.
After a few moments, as I calmed down, he smirked at me. He held his hand out in front of me as if he wanted to shake my hand.
“W-What?” I asked skeptically at the gesture.
“I was serious about what I told your dad, I want to shake the hand of whoever rid that vermin from the earth,” he whispered and picked up my hand gently. “Aubry, everything is fine. You’re okay. You’re safe. We’re all going to be fine.” He tucked my hair behind my ear. “You’ve had so much bad in your life. Let yourself relish in the good. Please let yourself be happy. I want to make you happy,” Aiden said and kissed my lips softly. “I love you.”
“I love you too.”
He was right. I was the only thing standing in my way of happiness. I needed to take the opportunity and be happy. I needed to let the past rest. What was done, was done. I was free from him. It was time to be happy.
However, I couldn’t help but to hear the voice in the back of my mind calling me a murderer. I killed him.
Chapter Sixty-Three
Acceptance
Aiden
I once again heard screams and crying come from the beautiful girl that I shared my bed with every night. It was a regular occurrence since she had found out that Sunny was dead. She was letting the guilt and fear eat her up.
Nothing was helping. It was mostly dreaming of him, but there were dreams of Daniel and Ronnie mixed in as well. It was a mess. I just wanted to make it better.
Aubry had been like that for a month and a half. I thought that once she got released from the hospital and got back home that it would stop. However, it only decreased the dreams to most nights instead of every single night. I thought that when she found out about Ronnie and Daniele both convicted of first-degree degree attempted murder and sentenced to life in prison, it would stop or at least get better.
However, it did not. She was messed up, and it was scary. I was terrified for her.
“Aubry . . .” I said aloud and shook her gently. I wrapped my arms around her hips and hugged her closely to me. “You’re okay. I’m here and everything is fine. Baby, wake up,” I whispered into her.
I could tell she was awake when she sighed deeply. She was crying and shaking in my arms. “I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry,” she kept chanting as she buried her face into my chest.
I just wished that I could help her some how. “It’s okay, love. You’re okay,” I said and kissed her forehead simply.
“I see him everywhere, Aiden. When I close my eyes, when I dream, and when I’m looking at nothing in particular. He’s everywhere, haunting me. Maybe it’s his actual ghost. Maybe I deserve this. I mean, I did kill him. This is my punishment, him plaguing me for the rest of my life,” she continued to cry.
“Aub, you know that it’s not an actual ghost. He’s not real. Remember what the therapist said, the only person punishing you is yourself. He’s in your mind. He is here because you won’t forgive yourself. Only you can make this go away,” I whispered as I stroked her back lightly.
I wished I could just make her understand that what she did wasn’t wrong. She needed to accept it. After hearing the full story from that night, I knew she did nothing wrong. She beat him up in self-defense. She didn’t even mean to kill him. She didn’t mean to. I wished that she’d quit putting the blame on herself.
“Remember what the police said? You were defending yourself. You did what you had to. You were scared for your life. They didn’t charge you because you didn’t commit a crime. You didn’t do it on purpose, Aub,” I whispered gently into her ear.
She was still crying, and I was trying to calm her down. Technically, she did commit a crime. She left Sunny there with no medical help and failed to render aid. Even if he was trying to hurt her, she was technically supposed to get someone to help him after she protected herself. However, the police didn’t charge her for it because of everything she had been through. Plus, Demetri worked his magic for her.
At first, we weren’t going to tell anyone, but then the nightmares started, so after we left the hospital, she decided to go straight to the police station. We all thought that it was just a guilty conscience triggering the nightmares—that was why she decided to tell the police. She said that she would have rather been in prison than to continue having the terrifying nightmares for the rest of her life. However, that did not stop the nightmares, obviously.
My mom also got her a therapist to see if that would help her. It did not. The therapist gave her some great advice on how to work on the guilt, but so far it hadn’t helped. She blamed herself, and she was so guilty about it that it was consuming her. She was going into a downward spiral, and I was terrified of where it would end.
“B-But what if I did mean to do it. Like deep down in my soul, what if I knew what I was doing. What if my subconscious did it on purpose? I hated him, and I wanted him dead. Now he’s dead!” She sobbed out.
“Yes, you hated him, but if you truly wanted him dead then you wouldn’t be having these dreams. You wouldn’t be putting yourself through this torture. You didn’t mean to do it. You don’t deserve this!” I said reassuringly.
I sighed and made her look at me. “Okay look, I didn’t want to bring this up because I wasn’t sure if this would damage you more or not, so we will talk to your therapist before we do this . . .”
I took a deep breath and blinked a few times. “I went to all of the cemeteries in town, the one on Avenue D has a “Sunny” Samuel Lee Harris buried there. I talked to the people who run the cemetery, and they told me that a Frank Hill is the one that wrote the check for the burial.”
I felt her body tense up at the mention of her father. Her father, he was not in jail. Technically, he was on probation for a misdemeanor assault charge, but I doubted that the probation would stick with his constant drug use. I was sure that he’d wind up in jail at some point due to a failed drug test.
Kelsey and Mark made sure they got a protective order against him for their family, including Aubry before they left back to California. They left back after two weeks of being there with Aubry. Mark had to go back to work, and Kelsey had a doctor’s appointment. They left with promises of visiting and keeping in touch. So far, Kelsey and Aubry talked every single day. Aubry got her sister back.
Aubry seemed so much happier with Kelsey and everyone else back in her life, but the stuff with Sunny was making her depressed. She wanted so badly to be happy, but it was like everything was conspiring against her. Everything in her was screaming for her to run away. She wanted to be happy, but she had no idea how to be. She had no idea what happiness was. She had never been truly happy before.
“M-My dad. My dad paid for him to be buried?” she asked confused.
“It seems like it.”
“Wow, he didn’t even pay for my mother to be buried. He just let the state take her, cremate her, a-and chunk her in a grave with a bunch of other unclaimed people,” she said in a bitter tone.
“Wow . . .” I breathed out disgustedly. What kind of madman doesn’t even try to claim his wife’s deceased body?
“Um,” I said awkwardly. “Well I was thinking, maybe it would be good for you to go and see Sunny’s grave. Maybe it would give you some sort of closure and lift the weight from your chest.”
I paused and looked at her. “Like I said before, obviously we have to speak with the therapist before we go, but I think it might be a good idea,” I finished and studied her face, carefully waiting for a response.
“I thi
nk the thought of that makes me want to throw up, but you’re right. It might be a good idea. We can call Doctor Ferrell in the morning,” she said and snuggled into me. “I’m sorry I woke you up again.”
“I’ve already told you a hundred times, I don’t mind. I’d rather be there for you than to be asleep, my love. I’ve already fucked up so much time with you. I’ll take all I can get now. I’ll be here for you in whatever way you need,” I whispered and kissed her lips softly. “Goodnight, I love you.”
“Love you.”
***
Aubry
It was five o’clock in the evening, and I was terrified. Nevertheless, I could also barely keep my eyes opened. I hadn’t been back to sleep since I had woken up so early that morning. I was so exhausted.
It had to stop. I only had three hours of sleep that night, barely two the night before, and only one the night before that. I was a walking zombie who was terrified of her own shadow. I took anxiety pills like the therapist said to, but I wasn’t sure if they even actually worked. I was still so wound-up.
I couldn’t help any of it though. I saw Sunny everywhere. I couldn’t escape him, even in my dreams. Some nights he’d just sit there and scream murder to me. Sometimes he, Ronnie, and Daniel would beat me into a bloody mess, while other nights I relived my fifteenth birthday over and over again. I hated him, but I felt horrible for hating him. He was dead and it was my doing. I was horrible.
I wanted to be happy and free from my oppressors, but I couldn’t. Not when my oppressor was me. Everyone else was all gone, and it was officially just my mind. I was the psycho. I was the problem.
I tried to be happy; I really did. Hell, I was happy. I loved Aiden, and I was happy with him. I loved having a family once again. I loved having Kelsey back in my life.
However, for everything that made me happy, there was a voice in my mind, telling me that I didn’t deserve it. Sunny’s voice in my mind kept saying that I was a murderer . . . that I would never deserve to be happy.
Fighting For Life Page 74
