by Kate Messner
Phil was still there. Mia knew because she still looked at the Tumblers website sometimes and saw pictures of him with the kids at competitions. He’d be smiling his goofy smile and giving the thumbs-up or posing with his arm around somebody. Mia would study the girls’ faces and wonder if they felt the way she had when Phil hugged her too long or texted her late at night or gave her that weird back rub. Was she the only one? Mia always wondered.
And now Fiona was going to train with him.
“Mia! Ready to go?” Mom called up.
Mia went downstairs and got in the car. It was supposed to be ninety today, and the car was already sweltering. Mom turned on the AC and the radio, and Mia looked out the window. She had to say something. But she’d waited so long. Would Mom even believe her? Would she think Mia was making a big deal out of nothing?
It didn’t matter. She had to say something. Fiona couldn’t go there.
Except now they were at Gram’s house already.
“Good morning!” Gram climbed into the front seat. She turned to look at Mia. “How’s my favorite granddaughter?”
“Fine,” Mia lied, and waited for Gram to turn back around. But she didn’t. She kept looking at Mia. She could always tell when Mia wasn’t okay. And Mia wasn’t okay. Not at all. But she couldn’t do this right now. She opened her folder and looked down to keep from crying.
“Any idea how long this appointment might last?” Mom asked Gram. “If there’s time, I’m going to run to the post office before I pick you up. Mia’s cousin is starting gymnastics, so we’re sending her some hand-me-down leotards.”
Mia’s heart raced. She tried to calm herself. It was okay. Mom could mail the leotards. There would still be time to tell her what happened before Fiona went for her first class. Wouldn’t there? Mia swallowed hard. “When is Fiona starting at Tumblers?”
“Tomorrow morning!” Mom said. “That spot opened up just in time for the new session. Isn’t that great luck?”
“No!” Mia blurted it out before she could think.
“What?” Mom stopped at a red light and looked in the rearview mirror. By then Mia was sobbing. “Mia, what’s wrong?”
“Fiona can’t go to Tumblers!”
Gram reached back and took her hand just as the light turned green.
“Mia …” Mom looked around and pulled into a convenience store parking lot. She parked way over at the side where there were no other cars. Then she turned to Mia. “What’s going on? Why are you saying this?”
Mia swallowed hard. She didn’t let go of Gram’s hand. She needed all the strength she could get. Her stomach twisted, and her mouth was dry, but she had to make the words come out. Fiona couldn’t go there. And Mia was the only one who knew why.
“Because of Phil,” she said, finally looking up at Mom. “He’s creepy, and when I was there, he … he did stuff.”
“Oh, honey …” Gram squeezed her hand. She didn’t say anything else. She just held on.
Mom bit her lip. She took a long breath. Then she reached back and took Mia’s other hand. “Tell me what happened.”
And so Mia did. While people came in and out of the store with their morning coffee, Mia told everything. About the texts and the pins and the hugs and the weird creepy back rub she tried to walk away from and got pushed back down and how the next day, she’d been afraid to see him, and then when she did she fell off the beam.
“Oh, Mia …” Mom’s eyes filled with tears. “I am so, so sorry. I remember you didn’t want to go that day. I had no idea.”
“Because I didn’t tell you,” Mia said.
Mom nodded. “I wish you had.”
“I was afraid nobody would believe me,” Mia said quietly.
“I’ll always believe you, Mia.”
“But you didn’t believe Gram when she said someone was trying to sabotage her farm.”
“That’s not—” Mom stopped. She blinked fast and then looked out the window, where a lady was trying to get her toddler buckled into a minivan car seat. Mom sighed. “You’re right. I didn’t know what was going on with the farm, but … I was wrong.” She looked at Gram. “I should have believed you. I’m sorry. I really am.”
Gram patted Mom’s hand and said, “That’s okay. And this isn’t quite the same anyway.” She turned to Mia. “Mia, your mom and dad are the best people I know. You can trust them with things like this.”
“And you can always talk to Gram, too,” Mom said. “We all love you so much.”
“I know.” Mia unbuckled her seat belt, leaned forward, and let Mom wrap her in an awkward half hug. Gram wrapped her arms around both of them, too. It felt so good, and warm, and safe. Finally, Mia pulled back and looked at Mom. “Will you talk to Aunt Abby about Fiona?”
Mom nodded. “As soon as I get home. And I’m going to call Coach Carrie. She needs to know about this immediately.”
“What if he says it’s not true?” Mia’s stomach twisted again. Everybody loved Phil. Maybe Mom and Gram believed Mia, but would anybody else? “What if he says I’m making a big deal out of nothing? What if nobody believes me?”
“This isn’t nothing.” Now Mom looked angry. “I know Coach Carrie, and she’ll take this seriously. The gym will investigate, and they’ll talk with other families, too. I hope I’m wrong about this, Mia, but when an adult is inappropriate like this, it’s rarely with just one kid.” She took a shaky breath. “He’s probably done the same to other girls. Or worse.”
Mia’s heart sank. “Because I didn’t say anything.” How could she not have thought of that? “If that happened—if he hurt somebody else, it’s all my fault!”
“No!” Mom said. “It’s his fault. No one else’s. Mia, people who come after kids like this are experts at manipulating them. Making them think they need to stay quiet. But you spoke up.” Mom hugged her again. “That was incredibly brave, and I’m so, so proud of you. Lots of people go their whole lives without talking about things like this.” Mom’s voice broke a little when she said that, and her eyes filled with tears again. She’d told Mia a little about what happened at her first law firm, but this made Mia wonder if there was more. If Mom had her own pin hidden away in a box somewhere.
“You were brave before you spoke up, too,” Gram said quietly, taking Mia’s hand again. “You’ve been carrying around what happened all this time, getting up every morning, going to school, going to camp, making friends. Do you realize how brave that is?”
“That’s not brave.” Mia looked at Gram. “I just had to do that stuff.”
“That’s what brave women do. We keep going. Somehow we manage to grieve over things that have happened to us at the same time we’re saving the world and running businesses and practicing law and raising families.” Gram nodded at Mom.
“And being warriors,” Mom added. “And getting ready for competitions.”
“Sometimes courage is quiet,” Gram said. “You were brave to speak up today, Mia. But you were brave before that, too. Sometimes getting up in the morning and being you, no matter what’s happened to you and no matter what anybody says, is the bravest, most defiant thing a woman can do.”
“Sometimes I’m not sure what being me even means anymore,” Mia said quietly.
“Join the club,” Mom said, and gave her a sad smile.
Gram smiled, too, and put a hand on Mom’s shoulder. “We all have to figure that out over and over again, kiddo. That’s okay.”
Mia’s phone dinged with a text then.
It was Clover.
ARE YOU COMING????
Mia looked at the car clock. She was fifteen minutes late for Launch Camp. They had so much work to do. And she’d already missed out on enough. She took a deep breath and wiped her face with her sleeve. She put one hand on Mom’s shoulder and one on Gram’s. “Thanks,” she said. “For everything. But can we go now? I want to get to camp.”
CHAPTER 21
Countdown to Launch
“Mia!” Clover practically tackled her in a hug when she walked into c
amp. “Thank God you’re here! Were you trying to give us a heart attack?”
“Sorry,” Mia said. “I was talking to my mom about some stuff.”
“Everything okay?” Anna asked.
“I think so,” Mia said, picturing Fiona in her shiny blue leotard. Aunt Abby was so protective there was no way she’d send her to Tumblers now. “It will be.”
“Good,” Clover said, unfolding a giant trifold poster board. “I got everything put together last night. What do you think?”
“That’s amazing!” Mia turned to Anna. “And you’ll bring the robot tomorrow, right?”
Anna nodded and gave the robot a pat on its claw. “Still tweaking a few things, but she’s mostly ready.”
Everybody spent the first part of Launch Camp on last-minute project details. Aidan had spent all his time perfecting his Cookies for a Cause recipes, so he was freaking out, trying to get his poster put together. Zoya was helping Julia and Dylan proofread their business plan. Quan and Bella were texting their dad to see if he could pick up paper plates and napkins. Eli and Nick were the only ones not racing to finish. They were sitting at a table with their poster board, eating bao buns and cookie samples.
“Anna, don’t you wish you’d stayed with us?” Eli called over. “You’d be finished now.”
“Doubt it,” Anna hollered back at him without missing a beat. “It’s hard to get anything done when certain people won’t leave you alone to do your work.”
Clover high-fived her and called over, “Also, she’d rather change the world than sit on her butt eating cookies.”
“Hey!” Aidan looked offended.
“Even amazing cookies,” Clover added quickly. “Besides …” She took one of the crunchy oatmeal raisin samples he’d brought in to share. “We can eat cookies and make the world better. Right?” She high-fived Mia.
“Right,” Mia said. “And thanks. I never would have done all this without you two.” They’d finished almost all the competition requirements. They just had to write their reflections, and Anna and Clover were sleeping over tonight so they could do that—and so they could carry out their top-secret spy-moose plan.
By the time they left camp, it was after noon, and heat radiated up from the bike path. “We should stop for lunch and eat by the lake,” Clover said.
They all texted their moms, who said that was fine, so the girls stopped at Mountain Mart, picked up sandwiches, and rode to the beach with the red rocks. They found a little shade along one rocky ledge, kicked off their flip-flops, and ate with their feet in the water.
By the time they finished their sandwiches, the sun was in Mia’s eyes. “It’s so hot today,” she said.
Clover jumped up. “Let’s swim!”
“But we don’t have swimsuits.”
“So?” Clover looked up and down the empty beach. She climbed to one of the medium-high rocks that jutted out over deeper water, peeled off her T-shirt, and jumped in the lake in her shorts and sports bra. “Come on!” she called when she surfaced. “It’s awesome!”
Anna laughed and scrambled up the rock, too. She cannonballed in with all her clothes on, giving Clover a good splash. “Mia, come on!” Anna said. “It feels so good in here!”
Mia looked up at the rock. She wanted to do it, but she couldn’t. She tried reaching back, tried to remember the girl with the rainbow swimsuit and all the courage, but it wasn’t quite enough. She shook her head.
“You don’t have to jump,” Clover called. “Wade in. There’s a nice flat path by that ledge.”
So Mia stood up and shuffled into the water. It was slippery, and she was afraid she might fall, so she took tiny careful steps until finally, she was in up to her hips. Then she dove forward and plunged in headfirst. The icy water took her breath away but not in a bad way. In a whoa-wake-up, alive kind of way.
Mia gasped when she came up. “It’s so cold!”
Clover grinned. “You get used to it fast.” She dove under and came up between Mia and Anna. “I can’t believe I just met you two this summer,” she said. “It feels like we’ve been friends longer.”
“I know.” Mia turned and floated on her back, staring into the sky until the bright sun made her eyes water. She closed them and felt its warmth through her lids.
“Hey, look at this!” Anna called. She’d climbed onto a giant tree that was half-submerged in the lake. When she stood up on it, it sank down a little, so it looked like she was standing on the water. She stretched her hands into the sky.
“You’re queen of the tree!” Clover shouted.
“Come be queens with me!” Anna called back, so Mia and Clover swam over and scrambled onto the tree, too. As soon as they stood up, Clover started bouncing. Mia wobbled, and for a second, she felt that panicky, heart-racing feeling. But then she caught herself. It was okay if she lost her balance and fell. She’d just splash into the lake. She wasn’t going to get hurt.
Mia bounced with Clover, and Anna joined in until they were all wobbling and laughing so hard that people on the bike path were stopping to watch.
Clover waved to an old lady on a pink bike and shouted, “We’re queens of this tree!”
The old lady called back, “Have fun, girls!” and rode away.
“Let’s jump off together!” Clover grabbed Anna’s and Mia’s hands. “On the count of three. Ready?”
They bounced one … two … three times and then leaped into the clear, cold water. They splashed and floated a while longer until Clover heard her phone ding with a text back on the rocks. “That’s probably the moms, checking in.”
“We should head back anyway,” Mia said. They still had to write up their reflections and get out to the industrial park before Mr. Jacobson left for the day at five.
Mia’s clothes were soaked, and her wet hair dripped into her eyes as she put on her bike helmet, but she didn’t care. Cooling off and goofing around with Anna and Clover had given her a burst of energy.
When the girls got to Mia’s house, they holed up in her bedroom finishing the written parts of the project. Mia played her Renegade Kickboxers playlist extra loud while they worked so the moose in her closet couldn’t hear what they were talking about.
“There!” Mia said, printing out the final pages. “We’re as ready as we’ll ever be.”
“We’re almost ready,” Anna said, reaching for her backpack. She pulled out seven different bottles of nail polish. “We need matching manicures.”
“Ohh! I love it!” Clover said. “What color do we want?”
Mia picked up a sparkly green. “How about this one? Since crickets are earth-friendly.”
“Perfect!” Anna said. “And let’s do a lightning bolt down the middle of each nail. My aunt Lyra has this cool lightning tattoo on her ankle. She says it symbolizes power and strength.”
“Can we have purple lightning?” Clover asked.
“Why not?” Anna set to work, painting everybody’s nails green and then adding the lightning. She was on Mia’s last nail when Clover changed the music and put on a Broadway show tunes playlist.
“Oh, I love this one!” Anna finished her last stroke and jumped up to sing “Defying Gravity,” using the purple nail polish jar as a short, stubby microphone. Mia and Clover joined in, and half a verse later, they were all dancing around the room, waving their hands, belting out that part about not playing by anybody else’s rules.
“Careful!” Anna shouted when Clover waved her not-quite-dry nails too close to Mia’s bedpost. “Don’t smudge them!”
“Sorry, but I love this part.” Clover jumped up on Mia’s bed, carefully picked up Neptune, and sang to him. “Just this stingray and I … defyyyyyy … ing gravity …”
Mia and Anna jumped up, too, for the big finish.
“Wow!” Mia’s door had been open, and now Mom was looking in, laughing. “That was quite a trio!”
“We’re the Three Entrepreneurial Musketeers,” Mia said, hopping down from the bed.
“We just do show tun
es as a side gig,” Clover added, and they all laughed.
Mom looked at Mia. “I love how much fun you’re having with this. I have to run to the store. Need anything?”
“Nope.” But seeing Mom’s phone in her hand reminded Mia that she didn’t know what was going on with Fiona. All of a sudden, her stomach tied itself in a knot. She turned to Anna and Clover. “I’ll be right back.”
She followed Mom downstairs. “Did you talk to Aunt Abby?”
Mom nodded. “Fiona’s not going to Tumblers.”
Mia hadn’t realized she was holding her breath, but now she let it out in a rush, and her eyes filled with tears.
“It’s okay, honey.” Mom wrapped her in a hug. “I told Aunt Abby what you told me, and first off, she wanted to know if you’re all right. I told her you are, but that I sure wouldn’t be comfortable sending a kid there. So she called the other gym, and there were still openings. Fiona’s going there instead.”
Mia took a shuddery breath and waited for her stomach to unknot, but it didn’t. “What about all the other girls? Did you talk to Coach Carrie?”
“I left a message,” Mom said. “I’m sure she’ll call back.” She reached out and tipped up Mia’s chin to look into her eyes. “Are you doing okay?”
Mia wiped her teary cheeks with her sleeve and nodded. She was. Mostly. “I mean, I’m excited for tomorrow. We’ve been having so much fun getting ready.”
Mom smiled. “I noticed that. You were channeling Idina Menzel up there.”
Mia nodded. “So mostly I’m okay. But once in a while, I think about what happened, and then I feel icky all over again.”
Mom gave a sad nod. “I think that’s natural. If you want, we can go see somebody who’s an expert at helping people through things like this.”
“There are experts in this?” It made Mia sad to know there were enough Phils out there that there had to be experts in helping the people they hurt. “I don’t know if I want to do that right now. But maybe later?”
“Anytime. You can come to me anytime, too. You’ve been so strong, Mia. And so brave.”
Mia looked down at the purple lightning bolts on her fingernails. She’d never thought of herself that way. Not really. Not even back when she was jumping off those rocks. She’d just done that because she didn’t know enough to be scared. But now, she realized, she could know things and be brave anyway. That was something.
