by Jodi Payne
It would be okay. It was just a talk, and one they needed. The whole point was that they wanted things to work out, right?
God, he hoped he was right about that.
He took a deep breath and knocked on the door. He heard voices and Russ answered, the look on his lover’s face hard to read.
“Are you seriously knocking on the door to your own house?”
He blinked. “Oh.”
“Come in.” Russ stepped aside and let him in.
“I know I’m late, I’m sorry. Zoe—”
Jeffrey put a hand on his arm and kissed him, the connection just exactly what he needed. “It’s okay, Oscar. Relax.”
He nodded. “Trying.”
“Breathe. No one’s dropping a guillotine, Oz. I’ll get you some wine.”
“Hey.” Russ stepped in front of him. “I want one of those too.”
“You do?”
“I do.”
He kissed Russ, his lover’s acceptance making the knot in his stomach come loose all at once, emotion threatening to spill out of him in tears. He forced them back. He didn’t need to embarrass himself further by losing it over something as simple as a kiss. But he knew it meant Russ forgave him, and he was surprised to discover he needed that much more than he’d known.
“You okay?”
“Better now.” But he’d had to swallow hard before he could speak.
Russ smiled at him. “Me too.”
“Jesus, Oz. Do you need a shot of whiskey before I give you this wine?”
“It’s been a long week.” He tried out a soft laugh and took the glass from Jeffrey’s fingers, stepping farther into the room. There was a pad of paper and a handful of pens in the center of Dad’s farmhouse table, and Mom’s sideboard was covered in food.
“Eat something. I brought a bunch of munchies, figuring we shouldn’t talk on an empty stomach. I’ve only been here fifteen minutes, and Russ has already eaten half of the pigs in a blanket.”
Russ nodded. “It’s true. I love those things.”
He laughed again. Maybe this was going to be okay. “Smells good.” He looked over the food, picked up one of the little hotdogs, and then cut himself a hunk of cheddar cheese.
“Someone’s taking notes?”
“I don’t know. I thought it might be good to write things down. I just… I want to be sure we understand each other.”
“Whatever you need, Russ.”
Russ looked at him. “You might want to hear what I need before you say that.”
Maybe. But he already knew that as long as the girls would be okay, he’d give them the moon if they asked for it. It only took two kisses to remind him.
Jeffrey pulled one of the benches back from the table and sat down with a glass of wine, and Russ set a beer next to a chair at the head of the table. Okay, then. He pulled out the other bench.
Jeffrey sipped his wine.
Russ played with the label on the beer bottle.
Finally, they both looked at him.
“Me?” They wanted him to start this? He looked at Jeffrey, who shrugged at him.
Okay.
He sat down and took another sip of his wine. “Russ… well. Hang on.” He took a deep breath and then looked at them both. “Before I start, is this like a come-to-Jesus thing, or is this really a conversation? Because I mean, I already said I was sorry.”
“I hope we’re all going to listen to each other. Right, Russ?”
“I’m listening.”
None of that made him feel any better, but what was he going to do? He had to man up and see how things played out. He sighed, finally deciding to start at the beginning. “A while back, when Jeffrey was still only my Realtor, he brought some papers by the house one night. There was all this chaos going on with the girls and Emily’s new boyfriend was coming over, and while I was dealing with that, he and Rose started talking. Next thing I know, she’s invited him to dinner.”
“We have the same alma mater. She likes me.”
Russ leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms. “Oh, yeah?”
“Jeffrey, maybe let me talk?”
“Sorry.”
“So, okay. Rose liked the idea that I might be thinking about dating someone, you know? And I think she liked having Jeffrey over. So the other night she asked me to invite him to dinner again, and… she does so much for the girls and for me, and she knows Jeffrey and I are seeing each other now, so I couldn’t really say no anyway, and—”
“She knows about you and Jeff.” Russ looked at him hard.
He sighed, nodding. He expected that reaction. “Yeah.”
“But she doesn’t know about me.”
“No.”
Russ looked at Jeffrey. “And you didn’t go by just to drop off paperwork.”
Jeffrey shook his head, looking contrite. “No. And I absolutely got caught with my pants down there. I didn’t know Oscar hadn’t told you I was there, and then I panicked and didn’t know what to say because I didn’t want to get him in trouble or hurt your feelings. I felt stuck, and I totally lied to you. I’m sorry.”
Russ leaned forward and picked up his beer. “Why didn’t you tell me what was going on?”
“And say what?” Oscar shrugged. “‘Hey, Russ. Sorry, man, only Jeff can come to dinner’? I knew it would hurt your feelings that he was coming, that I hadn’t told Rose about you… all of it.”
“Russ, if I can speak for Oscar here a second—”
Russ cut Jeffrey off right there. “You can’t.” Jeffrey blinked, and Russ looked back at him. “When are you going to tell her?”
“Soon.”
“When?”
“Soon, Russ. I don’t know. You deserve better, I know, but it’s not that simple.”
“He’s got kids, Russ. And Rose is—”
“Don’t tell me who Rose is, Jeff. I’ve known her longer than you have. And I sure don’t need you to parse this out for me. You’ve already got your recognition.”
“Russ.” Oscar scooted over on the bench so he was closer to Russ’s chair. “Listen. I’m going to tell her. I promise you that. It’s not a measure of how important you are to me. It’s got nothing to do with you at all. It’s about my girls. It’s about Rose having lost a son, you know? It’s about handling this right.”
Russ watched him, nodding finally. “Okay. I hear what you’re saying. I—”
“It feels crappy, I know. And I’ll fix it, I promise I will. The next time Jeffrey comes to dinner, you’ll be invited too.” That was his intention, anyway. He just had to figure it out.
“Okay.” Russ still looked a little wary but seemed to accept his promise. “Thanks, Oscar.”
He took a deep breath and reached for his wine, glancing at Jeffrey, who shrugged at him.
“So.” Jeffrey leaned on the table. “Can I talk now?”
“Yes. Go ahead.” It was kind of hot the way Russ was taking control of this conversation. He was glad, actually. Of all of them, Oscar felt like Russ needed this the most.
Jeff played with the pencil on the table. “So, was coming here after that really the wrong thing to do?”
Wait. What? “You came here?”
Jeffrey gave him a haughty look. “Are you judging?”
Whoa.
“Well, I… uh. No.”
Jeffrey looked at Russ. “Are you still upset about that?”
“Only because I didn’t know the rest of the story.”
“You weren’t a consolation prize, you know. I wanted you. You, Russ.”
Russ nodded. “Thank you, I understand it better now. But that’s another thing we need to talk about.”
“Okay. Can I start?” Jeffrey looked at Oscar and then at Russ. “This isn’t my first time.”
“It’s not?” He supposed he shouldn’t be surprised. Jeffrey had been pretty confident from the beginning. “You’ve had two boyfriends before?”
“No, a boyfriend and a girlfriend.”
“No.” Russ stared at Je
ffrey. “You’re into women? You?”
“What? I prefer men, but yeah. Women, men, it’s all good. Women love me.”
He just bet they did. “And this makes you an authority?” he teased.
“Ha-ha. No. But I wanted to…. Look. In my experience, there’s really only one way to handle this, you know? We can’t expect it to be all three of us together all the time, in bed or out. We don’t live together, for one thing, but also our schedules are different, and honestly? Our needs are different. I get different things from each of you. Don’t you feel that way?”
He did. Exactly that way. But he craved time with the three of them together too.
“Yeah,” Russ said quickly. “Absolutely.”
He agreed readily too. “I’m glad you said that. I do feel that way.”
“So, being together in pairs has to be allowed, yes?”
Both he and Russ answered at once. “Yes.”
Jeffrey laughed first, and he and Russ chuckled too. “Okay. So. We just have to decide how we want to handle that—when it’s okay and when it’s not.”
“It’s not okay for family things.” Russ jumped right in with both feet.
Oscar sighed.
Again.
Damn.
“No, it’s not, Russ. If we’re serious, then we do have to consider things like family. That’s really only an issue for Oz, though, and I think we need to be respectful of that process, right?”
“We? That’s easy for you today, huh? You’re already in, Jeff.”
“Russ—”
“Russ, please.” He leaned closer again, willing Russ to hear him out. “In every way that matters, Rose is my mother. And with the girls in the mix too, I just have to approach things carefully. I apologize that Jeffrey got there ahead of you; that wasn’t planned. But I’m going to tell everyone. I will. I’m every bit as proud of you, I promise.”
“Oh.” Russ smiled at him. “Thank you. Yes, okay. I’ll try to be patient a little longer.”
“Thanks, Russ.” He’d deal with his family. He would. He knew he had to. “So, hey… I like the group text thing. Can we keep making our plans there, and then everyone knows who is doing what when?”
Jeffrey sat forward. “Oh. Yeah, that was a really good idea, Russ.”
“It’s been good, right? So how does that work? Should everyone always consider themselves invited? Like if I want to make plans with Oscar—”
“Should I assume I can join in? No.” Jeffrey shook his head but looked to Oscar for confirmation. “No, right? That defeats the whole idea of—”
“Is that fair?” Russ interrupted.
Jeffrey looked back at Russ. “Are you worried you’ll be jealous?”
Oscar held his breath a second. That was Russ’s issue at heart, wasn’t it?
“No.”
“No?” Jeffrey sounded doubtful.
Oscar jumped in. “I am.”
Russ looked at him. “You are?”
“Well, yeah. Is it seriously realistic not to feel a little jealous? If you two are out one night, and I’m home alone, regardless of the reasons why, then sure, I might feel a little jealous. Even if I’m fine with the idea of you two enjoying each other’s company. Even if I’m happy you’re having a good time. Even though I know you care about me. I mean… I’m only human.”
Russ watched him and then gave him a smile so sweet it made his heart ache and his cock take notice. “Yeah. We’re all only human, huh?”
“Sure. It would be natural to feel left out, especially if you wish you could join in.”
Russ looked thoughtful. “Yeah, okay. But….”
“But?”
“Well, I’m also sort of worried. I’m concerned that… I don’t know how to say this right. What if two of us end up, I mean, I don’t want to be mean or borrow trouble, but it could happen that—”
“Russ.” Jeffrey slid close to Russ this time and he watched how they were together, easy and familiar. Always so physical. “This isn’t a marriage contract, babe. This could shake out any number of ways, like any other relationship. We’re not writing the Ten Commandments here. We’re trying to make sure everyone is on the same page and that we’re all being honest.”
Russ leaned into Jeffrey, and Oscar didn’t hide the warm little rush it gave him. They were lovely together, and Jeffrey was so good at reeling Russ in. He understood that Russ had a lot at stake. More than he and Jeffrey did, really. He had a life and a family, Jeffrey had friends and a good job. But Russ’s life was riskier. More solitary. Less stable.
Hell, Russ could lose his job when the house sold, and then what? Their lover needed some stability and some reassurance right now, Oscar could understand that.
Jeffrey dragged the pad and a pen over, scribbling madly. “Okay, got it.”
“You’re a lefty. How have I not noticed that?”
Jeffrey laughed. “I’m good with both hands, lover.”
Oscar felt himself blush, but he tried to stay focused. “Okay, I have a question.”
Jeffrey eyed him. “Fire away.”
“How do we make sure that this—the three of us—stays the priority? That we keep this the focus? I mean, it’s good to have individual relationships, I know. But to me, it’s important to remember how we are together. This is about all of together, really. Isn’t it?”
“Yeah.” Russ nodded.
Jeffrey did too. “It is. I hear you.”
Everyone looked thoughtful, and the room fell quiet as they considered the question, which made him even more glad he’d asked it.
“Saturdays?” Russ suggested finally.
“Yeah. We could make Saturday night a regular thing.”
“That would work most of the time. If I have a conflict with the girls, we could make it Friday instead? I’d let you know as soon as I know.” The girls had to stay a priority. That wasn’t negotiable, but he thought the guys got that.
“Sure. Yeah. One of those two nights, every weekend.”
“I’m writing it down.” Jeffrey started scribbling again. “So, we’re, uh… we’re exclusive, the three of us. Right?”
“Yes,” he and Russ answered at once and so emphatically it made them all laugh. Jeffrey kept scribbling.
“What else?”
“Aren’t we at the kiss and make-up part, yet?” He pulled his phone out of his pocket and put on a playlist, set it down on the table, then got up and headed for Russ and pulled him right out of his chair. “Maybe that’s enough for tonight.”
“You think it’s that easy? Just write a few things down and it’s all better?” The words were terse, but Russ was grinning at him.
“Nope. I was thinking I’d dance you around and seduce my forgiveness out of you.”
“Mmm. I like the sound of that.” Russ stepped close, and Oscar pulled his lover in, sliding an arm around his back and swaying to the music.
Oscar loved how Russ fell right in step, following like he’d been born to it. He and Russ moved smoothly around the living room to one full song and then another came on. He could dance and admire that smile all night, but he lost track of the steps when Russ kissed him. “Mmm.”
“Damn. Look at the two of you. Can I play?” Jeffrey came over, rocking slightly with the music right alongside them.
“Of course, we both owe Russ a little love, don’t we?”
“I believe you’re correct, Oz.” Jeffrey moved in behind Russ, and Russ moaned softly. Oscar winked at Jeffrey, and Jeffrey leaned right over Russ’s shoulder and kissed him, slowly, deeply.
“Oh God, you guys.” Russ swayed between them, bumping and rubbing in all the right ways.
Oscar slipped his lips away from Jeffrey and kissed Russ again, one hand in Jeffrey’s hair as Jeffrey went after Russ’s neck with hungry teeth. He tried to keep dancing, but there wasn’t much hope for it, given Jeffrey’s fingers were flattening out, warm and wide across his abs, and Russ wasn’t giving up their kiss.
They moved slowly toward the stairs
and made their way up—hand in hand in hand. For all that he loved his intense adventures with Jeffrey and his more romantic lovemaking with Russ, this felt so right. Like coming home. Like being whole.
They undressed each other slowly, exposing skin, touching and kissing, dropping compliments and quiet words. He loved the way they moved together, caring the most by not caring at all whose lips or neck or shoulder they were kissing, just wanting, loving, treating one another alike, worshipping skin and muscle, whomever it belonged to.
Their loving attentions turned hotter when Jeffrey slid to his knees and took Russ’s cock into his mouth. Oscar gasped almost as loudly as Russ did.
“Fuck, Jeff!”
“Oh, he’s good at that, Russ. Isn’t he?”
“Yeah. Fuck… yeah.”
He grinned and let Russ lean on him, spreading his legs wider for balance. He ran his fingers over Russ’s chest and swirled his fingers over stiffening nipples, making Russ shiver for him. His own cock grew full and heavy, and he rocked it against Russ’s ass, humming deep in his chest at the sweet friction. Fuck, it felt so good.
Russ was quickly getting lost in it. “Oh… oh God.”
“Mmm. So beautiful, Russ. You’re no one’s second choice, believe that. You’re our first. Our lover.”
“Oscar!” Russ turned his head, and Oscar kissed him, feeling Russ’s hips start to grind back and rock forward, seeking more sensation.
Oscar reached around and put a hand on Jeffrey’s head, slowing him, stopping him, giving his aggressive lover a hot look. “Bed?”
Jeffrey grinned back, nodding, and got to his feet.
“Oh! Oh no, don’t stop. Jeff? Oz…?” Russ was suddenly disoriented, lovely and confused, hands reaching and lips begging for attention.
Oscar reassured Russ with soft words and deep kisses, pulling him to the bed, where Oscar stretched out on his back. Jeffrey surprised Oscar, hot confident fingers taking hold of his erection and rolling on a rubber.
“Jesus! Your hands.”
“They like you too.” Jeffrey stroked him a couple of times, making him moan, Russ looking on the way a starved man eyed a thick steak. Russ moved to straddle him, Jeffrey tossed a bottle of lube on the bed, and Oscar only had a second to wonder what was happening before Russ was taking him inside. Oscar offered them a needy groan and pushed, slowly and steadily, into Russ’s tight heat. He wasn’t nearly as high as Russ yet, but it felt like fucking heaven anyway.
