by Jodi Payne
Just… sick.
Sorry, Dad.
He wanted to throw up. He wanted to cry.
He wanted to put his girls through college.
All right, suck it up. This was your decision.
He hated selling to commercial contractors, but he’d started to wonder if it really would feel any better if he were selling to a family? Either way he was selling his childhood home.
A friend at work told him about how she and her sisters agonized over selling their family’s home. She said they all knew it was the only decision they could make, but the signing was emotional. This house was right in town too, and she had to drive by the neighborhood on her way to work every morning. He supposed this was better than that. Once he sold Stable Hill, there would be no reason to head out that way anymore.
He grabbed the envelope and got out of the car. It wasn’t going to get any easier sitting out here.
The house was quiet, Rose was at dance with the twins, and he knew Brian was sitting with Emily, keeping her company. She’d been back at school this week, and it had gone pretty well, but she was tired and really needed extra help at home. They’d talked about getting a part-time nurse, but so far Brian had very willingly—and lovingly—filled in when Oscar and Rose couldn’t be home.
Things happen for a reason.
He couldn’t imagine why this had to happen to Emily, or Brian, for that matter, but if ever there was a man he could pick for his eldest daughter, Brian would fit that bill.
Growing up so fast. All of them.
Sophie was in the living room, reading, exactly where he would have expected her to be. “Hey, Oz.” She smiled when she saw him, but her smile faded quickly. “Are you okay?”
Did he look as sick as he felt? “I’m not feeling great.”
Sophie put down her book. “You want some tea? I was thinking of making some anyway.”
That made him smile a little. “Yeah, that would be nice. Thanks.”
“Come on.” Sophie got up and took his hand, then led him to the kitchen. “Is it your head? Your stomach?”
“It’s… I don’t know.” Everything. He didn’t want to say much. He wasn’t going to burden her with his issues.
“What’s that?”
“Oh.” He looked at the purchase agreement in his hand and set it down on the counter. “It’s the paperwork I have to sign on Monday to sell the farm.”
Sophie left the kettle warming on the stove. “Monday?”
He nodded. “Yeah.”
“You found someone who wants the horses?” Sophie asked softly.
“No, honey. Russ will have to find homes for them all.”
“They can’t stay on the farm? The new family doesn’t want them?”
“Well, no. They can’t stay because it wasn’t bought by a family. It was bought by a developer.”
“So… wait. The herd won’t stay together? It’s not going to be a farm anymore?” Sophie looked right at him, tears welling in her eyes.
“No. It’s not what I wanted, but—”
“What about Russ? And Angel? Oz, she’s Russ’s best friend.”
Oh, poor girl. He knew she loved to ride, but he hadn’t realized she’d be so upset about this. Was it the farm? Was she worried about Russ?
“We love Russ, Soph. We’re going to take care of him. Don’t you worry. He’s going to live with Jeffrey.”
“And Angel?”
He wished he hadn’t allowed this conversation. He’d planned to tell everyone later tonight after he’d thought about what he should say. He didn’t have answers for her right now. “I’m not sure about all of that yet, Sophie, but—”
“Oz!”
Oscar sighed, trying to stay calm when part of his heart wanted to break. “Russ will find Angel a good home, sweetheart. And the rest of the horses too.”
“You guys have to find a way to keep Angel at least. Please?” Sophie held his gaze, tears in her eyes.
He had no idea how he’d pull that off. “I’ll do my best, okay? I wish I could promise you, but… I can promise I’ll do my best.”
The kettle whistled, making them both jump. Sophie turned around and poured two mugs, and he watched her, wishing yet again that Emmett were here. Or… even Russ. Russ would know what to say to her; Oscar was sure of it.
Sophie set a mug down on the counter, right on top of his paperwork.
“Maybe you could sell this house to a family instead?”
Could he— What? Jeffrey had made the same suggestion, but…“This is our home, Sophie.”
“Stable Hill could be our home.”
“No, it’s—no.”
Sophie set her tea down hard enough it startled him. “Why not? And how come nobody has asked us about this? Me and Emily and Grandma Rose?”
“This is our home,” he insisted. “Your father and I had a plan.”
“You’re not listening, Oz!”
He blinked at her. Sophie never raised her voice. Never. “Sophie?”
“You’re not listening.”
He stood up, trying and failing to hold back his own emotion. “This house is where you grew up. Your father—your father and I raised you here! Our memories are here. Our life together is here, honey.”
Dammit.
He hadn’t meant to shout. “Soph.”
Sophie stared at him for a long moment, then reached out, dumped his tea on the paperwork, and stormed out of the kitchen.
“Sophie!” He grabbed a dishtowel, tossed it onto the spill, and took off up the stairs after her. “Sophie, hang on!”
She didn’t wait. Sophie ran down the hall, easily leaving him in the dust, and slammed her bedroom door.
“Dammit, Sophie!” He huffed out a breath and shook his head as the house fell back into silence. He really didn’t think things could get any worse.
“Oz?” Emily’s voice drifted from her bedroom into the hall.
He sighed. Or maybe they could. “What’s up?” He poked his head into Emily’s room, trying to find a smile for her.
“Damn, Mr. Kennedy. You look like crap.”
He snorted, but for some reason Brian’s honesty made him grin. “Thanks, Brian.”
Emily swatted Brian’s knee. “You okay, Oz?”
“I’m fine,” he lied. “Sophie’s mad at me.”
“She’s been kind of off this week.”
“She has?” He really needed to get the farm off his plate. He was too preoccupied. “I guess I’ve been—I hadn’t noticed.”
“Is it the farm?”
He nodded. “It’s okay. I’ve got a buyer now. All I have to do is sign the papers and it’ll be done. We can all get back to normal.”
“Are you sure?” Emily’s voice was soft but confident. Brian stayed quiet beside her, rubbing her back.
He blinked at Emily. “What?”
Emily spoke up again, her voice stronger this time. “Well, I’ll be leaving for college soon. Sophie actually loves the farm, and the twins are young still. They’d probably love it out there too.”
Oscar shook his head. “I tried to explain it to Sophie. This is our home. Your father’s house. All our memories together are here.” He sighed. “It’s our home.”
“Oz.” Emily patted the bed beside her, and Brian moved out of the way so Oscar could sit. “Oz, Daddy is in here.” She rubbed a hand over her heart. “All the good memories are in here.”
He thought about that and slowly put his hand over his own heart like Emily.
“Oz, Sophie loves those horses. And she says Russ gets her. She hasn’t been this happy since Daddy died.”
He looked up sharply, meeting Emily’s eyes, Sophie’s words echoing back to him.
You’re not listening, Oz.
He wasn’t listening. He hadn’t ever asked the girls what they wanted. Not one time. He was so focused on keeping everything normal for them, giving them what he thought they needed, that he’d never considered what they wanted.
Emily shrugged. “I
don’t care so much about the horses, truthfully, but I care about Sophie. Don’t sell the farm.”
“I… I care about Sophie too,” he said thoughtfully.
“Oh, I know! I didn’t mean—”
He blinked and took Emily’s hand quickly. “Oh, I know, honey. I know that.”
“And you. I love you, Oz.”
Don’t cry. Do not cry in front of your daughter.
Yeah, too late. He was already crying in front of his daughter. He blinked the tears from his eyes. “I love you, Em. I’m sorry.”
Emily reached out and hugged him hard, and he held her close—his buddy, the only one of Emmett’s girls to really remember Emmett the way he did. He felt like that hug did them both some good.
“Russ wants me to keep the farm too.”
“What does Jeff want?”
“Jeffrey wants—” What does Jeffrey want? “Jeffrey wants me to… make the right decision. To be happy.”
Just be happy, sweetheart. That’s the best example you can set for a child.
Rose, Sophie, Russ, even Jeffrey—they were all right.
And Emily was a thousand times smarter than he had ever been.
In trying to preserve for his family the life they’d had with Emmett, the stable life their girls had had, he’d nearly destroyed something that could make them all happy again.
Damn, getting to work from Stable Hill was going to be a killer commute.
Chapter Thirty-Two
OSCAR DIDN’T wait for Monday. There was no point to letting it sit until then. He wanted it over with so he could concentrate on patching things up with Russ and smoothing things out with Sophie. He needed to spend some time putting his unconventional, quirky, wonderfully perfect little family back together.
He grabbed his phone off his dashboard and his wallet from the glove compartment and slid out of the car, then hurried into Jeffery’s office.
“Hello, Mr. Kennedy. Good to see you.” The receptionist gave him a smile.
“Hi, Evie.”
“Do you have an appointment? Jeff didn’t mention—”
“No, no I don’t. I texted Jeff to say I was on my way over, and he said he’d fit me in.”
“Oh, okay. Hang on. I’ll let him know—”
“Oscar?” Jeffrey called to him from down the hall. “Come on in.”
“There you go.” Evie smiled. Oscar gave her a wave and headed down the hall.
Jeffrey held the door and followed him in, then closed the door behind them. “What’s up, Oz? Is everything okay?”
He looked at Jeffrey. There was no point in mincing words. “What if I don’t sign?”
Jeffrey blinked at him. “What if… you mean on Monday? Is there something wrong with the purchase agreement? They’ll be frustrated, but I can ask their attorney to put it off a couple more days.”
“No. At all.” Jesus Christ, his heart was pounding, but he suddenly felt like he could breathe again. “What if I don’t sign it at all? Ever.”
Jeffrey sighed and rubbed his forehead. “Uh. Well, the deal would fall through, obviously, and—”
“But I don’t have to?”
“Well, no. The LOI has a provision stating it’s non-binding. You can walk away from the deal anytime until you sign the PA.”
“Perfect. Will you move in with me?”
Jeffrey didn’t look any less frustrated with him. “I… uh. That house is pretty tight as it is, Oscar. I don’t think Russ and I would help matters.”
His lover was right about that. The twins shared a room, and Rose’s room was barely bigger than a walk-in closet.
But….
“Stable Hill has five bedrooms and a guest cottage.”
“Stable Hill? You want… wait.” Jeffrey took him by the arm, steered him over to the couch, and sat him down. “You’re asking me to move out to the farm? You mean all of us?”
“All of us. And Rose can have the cottage. We can fix it up for her. It will be worth putting some money into it if we live there.”
“And sell the house in town?”
Just as Jeffrey had suggested a couple of days ago.
He hadn’t been ready to listen then, but his girls were brave and smart. Emily convinced him, and when he talked with Sophie, she… well, he hadn’t seen her smile like that in ages.
“Yes. If I fire you, can I rehire you to sell that house instead?” This could absolutely work. Rose was on board, the girls… now he had to talk to—
“Oscar, have you… talked to Russ?”
“No. He won’t answer the phone, and he’s not returning my texts. I know he’s mad at me.” He was about to talk to Russ. He’d needed to find out if he could get out of the sale first.
“I hadn’t either, so I dropped by yesterday.”
He’d thought about doing that, but he didn’t think he’d be welcome. “I wish I’d known. I feel like an even bigger asshole now.”
“Don’t. He didn’t really want to see me, and he didn’t let me stay long.”
Oscar shook his head. “I have to get over there, I know. We need to talk.”
“I asked him again to move in with me, and he… Oscar.” Jeffrey sighed, that bewildered smile fading. “Russ applied for a job in Tennessee.”
“He… what?” Tennessee? “Like the state of Tennessee?”
Jeffrey nodded slowly. “I asked him to think about it. I told him I didn’t want him to go.”
“He can’t go to Tennessee. I have to go see him. Wait. Did you say yes?”
“Did I say… what?”
“Will you move in with me? On the farm.”
Jeffrey gave him a doubtful look. “I… I don’t know, Oscar. Me, on a farm? I’m not really a farm kind of guy, you know? I could… I could think about it.”
Think about what? Oscar pinned him with a knowing look. “The place needs work, but together we could fix it up.”
“Yes, but—”
“You could stop paying rent.” He knew Jeffrey. Appealing to the man’s financial sense was always a good move. There was no mortgage on the farm anymore. Dad had paid that off years ago.
“That’s true. And the farm is free and clear.”
“Jeffrey.” He took his lover by the shoulders. “Keeping the farm will keep Russ from going to Tennessee.”
“Well, he might not go anyway. I mean, I did ask him to stay.”
“Oh, for crying out loud. I’m going to talk to Russ.” He kissed Jeffrey, then stood up and headed for the door.
Jeffrey got up with him. “Right, okay. Coming.”
He grinned but didn’t say a word. This was the answer. This had to work.
THE DRIVE out to Stable Hill was as entertaining as it was nerve-wracking.
It started out with Jeffrey following his minivan in that flashy Mercedes, but that didn’t last long. Jeffrey passed him as soon as the opportunity presented itself so he had to follow instead. That was fine on the local roads, but the ten minutes they spent on the interstate was like the Flintstones trying to keep up with the Jetsons.
Jeffrey took off as soon as they hit the on-ramp. Oscar had tried to keep up, but at seventy-five miles an hour, his ancient minivan rattled and shook, and the engine protested. The thing sounded like it was being launched into outer space. So he slowed down and toddled along just at the speed limit. Jeffrey finally got the hint and pulled into the right lane to wait for him, but he swore he could see smoke coming out of the man’s ears.
Eventually, they pulled into Stable Hill’s long, winding driveway and parked in front of the house. His minivan, Jeffrey’s Mercedes, and Russ’s pickup, all lined up like they belonged there.
Which, of course, they did.
He could picture Rose’s ancient but trusty Camry parked at the cottage, and the cars of various boyfriends or girlfriends or whoever was in their future, lined right up next to his. Good thing it was a big driveway.
He met Jeffrey on the porch, and they went inside together and found Russ sitting on the floor, eat
ing lunch in front of the TV. “Hey, baby. What’s on?”
“Powerpuff Girls.”
He exchanged a look with Jeffrey, who shrugged at him. “Do you have a minute?”
“Okay.” Russ sounded skeptical and looked at them suspiciously. “What is this, an intervention? Shouldn’t you be at work?”
“I called out sick.” Oscar sighed. Russ still sounded so hurt. It was in his voice, in the set of his shoulders. “Jeffrey and I came from his office.”
“Ah.” Russ took a bite of his sandwich and looked at the TV. “So that’s that, then? When do I have to be out?”
“Hey.” He sat down on the floor next to Russ. “Babe, I haven’t signed the agreement. I have to ask you a question.”
Russ turned his head slightly and looked at him. “You haven’t?”
“No, and I’m not going to. I decided to take one of Jeff’s other suggestions.” He reached for Russ, but his lover leaned away. He didn’t push, and dropped his hand back into his lap. “Russ. I want to know something.”
“No. No, Oscar, don’t put this on me. Do what’s right for your family.”
“I am. And I’ve already made up my mind. But I want to know… will you stay?”
There was a long pause while Russ studied his face. “I… don’t know. Just because you’re not selling the farm?”
“Dammit, Russ. No! Because I love you. We love you. Because I finally listened, and I heard what you and Sophie and Emily were telling me. Because you’re an important piece of this family. Not because I need you at the farm. God.” He stood up and paced away. He wanted to be reassuring but he didn’t want to play games.
“Oscar.” Jeffrey followed him.
“I got a good offer in Tennessee.”
Both he and Jeffrey froze. He thought for a second his heart had stopped, it ached so hard.
“They want me to start right away. If I’m going to turn that down—”
“My offer is better,” he countered, rushing back over to Russ. “Much better.”
Russ stood and met him. “Tell me.”
“I want to move everyone to the farm and sell the house in town instead.”
Russ stared at him. “What? You’re… moving here?”
“You know I can’t afford to keep both places.” He rested a hand on Russ’s hip. “But you were right about Sophie. She’s happy with the horses, and I don’t want to risk that when we’re just starting to find her again.” He tightened his fingers and pulled Russ closer. “I love this old farm. She doesn’t want me to sell it. And I can’t lose you.”
