“Easton, you’re up,” a guard barked out and opened the gate. Men shifted to the side to let me pass, and then the guard checked my chains were all in order. “You’re good,” he commented, led me out of the cell, and locked it up behind me. I had no idea where I was going, and I hadn’t even seen a lawyer yet. I wasn’t sure how the system worked, but Dad had told me this was just a bail hearing, so I wouldn’t need one. I just hoped he was right, and I wasn’t about to get fucked over.
Several gates were unlocked so we could go through them, then the walls changed. Gone was the dreary beige and in its place crisp white. The air smelled clearer and less…dirty. Finally, I was led through a wooden door and into the courtroom.
A judge sat at the bench, reading out another case, and I glanced around the room, hoping I recognized someone, but I didn’t, not until the very last seat on the farthest back bench. Dad’s gaze met mine and he gave nothing away in his dark eyes. Was he disappointed in me for being in the exact position he’d put people in his entire life? I didn’t regret what I’d done, but it didn’t mean I was proud to be wearing a jumpsuit and chains.
“Asher Easton,” a voice called.
The guard pushed me toward the lone table in front of the judge. People were milling about as officers shuffled inmates in and out of the room. It felt like constant rhythm of judgments being made, and I was just one in a very long line. I was a number to these people, not a person. I just hoped they didn’t judge me on the single act I'd committed, instead of everything I’d done in my life.
But wasn’t that what the man sitting higher than the rest was here for? He was here to make a snap decision on who I was and where I’d be going.
“Mr. Easton,” the judge started. “I have reviewed your case.” I pushed my shoulders back, trying not to let my nerves get the better of me. I had no idea what way this would go and having been held in county jail for three days, I was more than ready to get out of there. “I have a letter of recommendation here.” He held up a piece of paper and raised his brows. “And I am also aware you are a veteran.”
“I am, sir.”
He interlocked his fingers on the bench and leaned forward. “This is your first offense, and as such, I will be ordering your release on recognizance.” He paused, letting it sink in. “You agree to attend all court appearances and not engage in any illegal activity. Failure to adhere to these commands will cause your bail to be revoked and you will have to pay the bail amount of three thousand dollars. Your court date is set for six months from now. Stay out of trouble.”
I turned my head to look at my dad, but his gaze was fixated on the judge, listening intently. This meant I was getting out. I could go home. I could shower without a group of men on the other side of a flimsy curtain. I could see Elodie. My stomach dropped. I had no idea what state she was in, and I was afraid how I would find her. Would she be curled up in a ball, refusing to move? Or would she be pretending none of this happened as she tried to push through it all?
The judge banged his gavel down and I jumped at the sound. But no sooner was another name being called and the guard pulled me away. He led me back the way we came, but I didn’t take my attention off my dad. He turned his head to face me, and the quirk of his lips along with his slight nod told me he had my back. I’d never doubted it for a second, but what I had doubted was if I would get out of here or not. I had six months until I had to go back to court, but in that time, I could see my lawyer, and most importantly, see Elodie. We could deal with this together, if she let us. She was fiercely independent, and I was scared she’d try to be now too. She needed me, but I needed her too. There was no denying that.
The guard led me to a different cell with only a handful of people inside it. I had no idea how much longer I’d be kept here, but now that I knew I was going home, I was antsy, and wanted the time to go by as fast as possible but all it was doing was dragging at a snail’s pace. Then finally—fuckin’ finally—a guard opened up the cell and led us all out. I wasn’t sure where Dad was, and I wasn’t sure how much longer it would be until I was on my way home, but each moment which passed felt longer than the one before it.
I was done with having this orange jumpsuit on. Not only that, but I was goddamn starving. They put us back onto the bus we’d come here on, and once we were back in county jail, we were shoved back into the holding cells.
Several of the other guys spoke and each had a different ruling, but we were all getting out of here today. I bounced my knee up and down, needing it to happen quickly. But it didn’t. Each hour dragged into the next. I’d paced the length of the small cell and not moved my gaze from the area where they were booking people in and letting them out. Every person who was in the cell with me had been called, and now it was nearly 5 p.m. and—
A woman halted in front of the door, pushed the key inside the lock, then turned it to open it. “Asher Easton.” She huffed out a breath as if she was tired of waiting for me, yet it had only been a few seconds. “Come on, let’s go. Chop, chop.”
I wanted to quip something back at her, or even take my time walking out of the cell, but the reality was, I needed out of here as fast as I could. I needed to get to Elodie. I needed to check on her. I needed to be by her side every step of the way.
The woman shuffled over to one of the stations, and I went through the same routine as I’d watched the people before me go through. My name and number were read off, my county jail uniform was handed in, and I was passed the clothes I’d come in with. Spatters of blood were soaked into the fabric, and I wanted nothing more than to wear something different. But I didn’t have a choice, not right then anyway. Finally, I was given a slip to take to a counter on the other side of the main doors to collect the rest of my things. Each step I took was one closer to getting out of here, and when I eventually made it out into the waiting room, darkness funneled in through the floor-to-ceiling windows.
I pulled in a breath, the first free breath in nearly four days, and as soon as it entered my lungs, I wanted to bawl like a goddamn baby. Having your freedom taken away from you was no joke, but I’d have done what I did a thousand times over if it meant protecting Elodie.
“Asher.” I whipped my head around at the sound of the deep voice, and my gaze immediately found the dark eyes of my dad. He was sitting toward the back, his attention solely on me. “Took long enough.”
“Tell me about it.” I moved toward him, not really sure what reception I was going to receive. We’d spoken over the phone, but it was all business and making sure Elodie was okay. I had no idea how he was going to react now that we were face-to-face, and more or less alone. “Dad, I—”
He shook his head, holding his palm in the air to stop me. “You don’t need to explain it, son.” He stood, his lips in a straight line, not giving anything away until he murmured, “I would have—and have done—the same thing.” He ambled toward me, each of his steps slow and measured. “Let’s get you out of here and home.”
“Home,” I stuttered. I wasn’t sure what I was going to find once I got there, and I knew I needed to prepare myself.
“Yeah, son.” Dad halted in front of me. “And you need a shower STAT.”
I chuckled, because he was right. There was a certain stench jail left on you, and I needed to get it off of me asap. “Elodie—”
“Is at home with your mom.” Dad tried to smile, his lips attempted to lift, but I could see the pain in his features and behind his dark-brown eyes.
“Right.” I pushed my shoulders back, determined not to let how I was feeling show. “Can we stop at my place first? I need to get some clothes and—”
“Sure.” Dad’s hand grasped my shoulder, and he squeezed it in that same way he always did when he was trying to say something he couldn’t quite verbalize. “Let’s get out of here.”
I nodded and followed him as he walked out. I wasn’t sure the smell of the place would ever quite leave my nose, but I was hoping the reason I was here would eventually wane into t
he background. But reality was that these last few days would be something that haunted me—haunted us. However, it was through the bad times we found who we really were, what our souls were built to endure, and what our hearts could take before breaking.
Chapter Four
ELODIE
I hadn’t slept much. Every time I closed my eyes, I heard the echo of his voice. The scent of his cologne. The harshness of his hands. I couldn’t escape the feel of his skin against mine. The way it rubbed against me, the way it burned when he was inside me.
He consumed all of my senses, so instead of letting him win, I stayed awake. I focused my gaze on the wall, on the gap in the curtains, on the wooden bed. I imagined I was on a fairground and could smell the hot dogs cooking. I imagined I was at school in the hallways and all that filled my ears were the sounds of students as they made their way from class to class. The bang of the lockers, the laughter, the teachers shouting not to run.
I pretended I was anywhere but in the place my brain wanted to take me back to. Maybe it was my body’s way of protecting me, or maybe it was because I was scared. Scared to remember what had happened. Scared to think maybe I’d let my guard down. Was it my fault? Had I gotten too lax? Had I thought I’d put all the bad behind me so I could live in the happiness I’d tried to create?
No. I’d kept my wits about me. I’d kept my feet planted firmly on the floor. It wasn’t my fault Knox did what he did. It wasn’t me who’d pushed him to it. It was his own decision. He’d chosen to break into the tattoo shop. He’d taken the steps into my apartment. He’d been violent. He’d—
I hadn’t fought.
My breath left me in a whoosh. I hadn’t fought hard enough. Maybe if I’d have kicked harder, screamed louder. Maybe if I’d have hit him back more.
I had a constant reel of maybes, but did it really matter? It was in the past. It had happened, and now all I had to do was—
My skin crawled, my ears picking up the sound of a car halting outside the house. I hadn’t moved from Asher’s bed. It had been days since I’d last seen him, last heard his voice. Lola had come in and told me he was getting out today, but I wasn’t sure whether I was nervous or afraid to see him. I’d stayed here because Asher made me feel safe, but now…now I wasn’t sure about anything.
The front door opened, and voices murmured from below. I couldn’t make any of them out, but my gut told me I knew who they were. Asher was here. I could sense it. Something happened to me when he was around. My palms got sweaty, my heart raced faster. Only he made me feel that way. Only he tied my stomach up in knots.
Footsteps echoed on the stairs and my pulse thrummed quicker. He was coming to me. He was—
The door handle turned, and I drew in what felt like the first breath I had in days. There was no mistaking the cologne that drifted into the room. I’d already known it was him, but this…this confirmed it. The door squeaked as he opened it up more, and a stream of light from the hallway basked onto the back wall. I concentrated on it, making out his shadow which got bigger with each step inside the room he took closer to me.
“Elodie?” His voice was soft and rough. A weird combination that had me both on edge and relaxing all at the same time. “Sweetheart?”
I placed my palm on my chest, trying to calm the erratic beat of my heart. I wanted to turn and face him. I wanted to give him a smile, one which said I was fine. But I couldn’t get my body to move. I couldn’t get my muscles to adhere to the commands my brain made.
The door squeaked again, only this time the light disappeared, but I knew he was still in the room with me. I heard it—felt it.
“I’m so sorry,” he whispered, his voice breaking on the last word. “I should have…I shouldn’t have…I…fuck.”
I held my breath, waiting for what else he was going to say, but when silence rained down on us, I finally listened to my brain for the first time in days and slowly rolled over. I couldn’t make him out, couldn’t look him dead in the eyes, but the movement was enough for him to shoot forward. “Asher.”
His hand connected with the side of my face, soft and gentle. His rough but smooth palm had a sob working its way up my throat. I couldn’t hold it back, couldn’t push it down, not now that he was here. Not now that I felt safe again.
“I’m so sorry, sweetheart.” His words were choked, his emotions seeping through his voice, but I still couldn’t see him. And I was glad because it meant he couldn’t see me either. The darkness hid everything I didn’t want anyone to see.
“It’s okay,” I whispered, trying to tell him I was all good. It was a lie. A lie I knew he didn’t believe from the way his fingers gripped me that little bit harder.
“It’s not.” His hand left my face and I heard rustling, and then a second later the comforter lifted. “But it will be.” The bed dipped, and I sighed as his arms wrapped around me. “I promise it’ll all be over soon.”
I swallowed, not sure what to say. I needed the images in my head to evaporate. I needed to pretend it didn’t happen. But the ache in my muscles and pain in my heart weren’t listening. They were bleeding, looking for refuge to be fixed. And that was what Asher was. He was the fix to all my pain. He was the only way I could see myself getting out of this darkness and back into the light.
“I’m sorry,” I murmured, pushing my face into his chest. His pounding heart beat in my ear, and the sound settled me. He’d been gone for days, locked up somewhere he never should have been, and it was all because of me. I was the reason he’d been arrested. I was the reason he’d have this on his record for the rest of his life. If I’d never have met him. Never had—
“You have nothing to be sorry for, Elodie.” His fingers pushed through my hair. “You hear me?” He tilted my head back, and I was finally able to make out the shape of his face in the darkness. “Not a single thing.” He moved closer to me, his forehead connecting with mine, and I drew in a deep breath. “What happened was not your fault.” His voice was low, but the roughness told me he was being serious. “This isn’t on you, sweetheart.”
“I know, but—”
“No buts.” He held me tighter, and I winced. I didn’t want him to know I was in physical pain too, not right then. All I wanted was to be in his arms and to feel secure. “We’re gonna get through this together. You and me.”
I sighed and closed my eyes, feeling the tiredness taking over. “You and me,” I repeated.
He placed a gentle kiss on my forehead. “You and me.”
I let my body sink into his. Let him take some of the pain away. Let him just…be there. And it was all I needed in that moment—Asher’s arms wrapped around me, his promises echoing in my brain. He was all I needed.
ASHER
I wasn’t sure how much sleep I’d gotten, but it was more than I’d had over the last few days in county jail. I didn’t have to worry about the other inmates who would walk around the pod. I didn’t have to be on alert because of the weapons they’d bragged about making. All I had to be concerned about was the girl I held in my arms.
At some point, the sun came up and let streams of light into the room, and for the first time since I’d walked into my childhood bedroom, I could see the bruises on her face—purple and green mixed in with her light skin tone—and I winced at the sight of them. I wasn’t sure what I was going to see when I looked at her, but now I was even more apprehensive about what I couldn’t see. I desperately wanted to ask her how she was feeling, but I knew she’d say she was okay. Elodie had a strength about her, one she’d learned over the years. She didn’t want to appear weak, but how was I meant to explain to her that relying on me wasn’t weakness?
There was a strength in admitting when you weren’t okay. A strength in asking for help. But I wasn’t sure she knew that. I wasn’t sure she would be willing to—
“Asher?”
I pulled my lips into a smile and stared down at her as her eyes fluttered open. “Morning.” Her navy-blue eyes spoke of innocence, of freedom, of happin
ess, but it only took seconds for all of it to dim and pain to barge its way through. “Hey.” I placed my hand on the side of her face, frowning at her. “Don’t let it take over.” She knew what I was talking about without me having to explain. She felt it, lived it. I just didn’t want it to consume every part of her.
Her eyes turned glassy, and I wondered how many times she’d cried since that night. How many times she’d let herself go. How many times she’d let herself feel everything. “It’ll always be there,” she choked out. “He will always be there.”
I shook my head and sat up, determined to push my point home. “No. He won’t.” I stared down at her, not willing to look away. “I won’t let him take over.” I pushed some hair off her face, revealing more of the bruising. “It’s what he wants. He wants you to be broken. He wants you to be scared. He wants to control you.”
“You don’t get it.” She huffed out a breath and tried to roll over, but I kept my grasp on her firm. I wouldn’t let her run away from this. I wouldn’t let her escape into her own head.
“No.” I inhaled a breath, trying to keep my anger at bay. It wasn’t her I was angry with, but him. He knew what this would cause. He knew how she would react. He knew his presence would be felt far longer than the few minutes where he’d ripped everything away from her.
“Let go of me,” she ground out. Her gaze connected with mine, fire burning deep within her eyes, and I immediately let go. She needed to know she had a say. She needed to know I wasn’t him. She needed to know she had control of her own mind and body.
“Elodie—”
“No.” She rolled out of the other side of the bed and moved backward until her back hit the wall next to the window. One of my old T-shirts covered her body and came to her knees, but even that didn’t cover the bruises on her shins and scrapes on her knees. “You don’t get to demand how I deal with this.”
Deep Burn: (Asher & Elodie: Easton Family Saga) (Burned Duet Book 2) Page 5
