My heart jumped into my throat, my hands started to shake uncontrollably, and my fear kicked in full force. Lola wasn’t coming over today, Asher was at work, and Leo was at school, so there shouldn’t have been anyone else knocking at the door.
Several knocks rang out again, this time louder than the first few. I stood, backing into the kitchen to get a weapon. I’d let myself get comfortable—allowed myself to think it was over—but it wasn’t. It’d never be over, not inside my head.
“Elodie?” a gruff voice shouted. “I know you’re in there!”
My heart hammered in my chest but for a different reason this time. I didn’t want to walk to the door and open it. I didn’t want to face what was on the other side. It wasn’t just Jax I was ignoring, I hadn’t seen Aleste either. Asher had told me she’d come over to the shop to see him, but every time I stared at her name in my cell, I couldn’t bring myself to click “call” or “send message.” I didn’t know what I was supposed to say—didn’t know what I could say.
“Open up, Elodie.” He knocked again, this time softer. “Lemme in, it’s freezing out here.”
I inhaled a breath, feeling the burn at the back of my throat. It was Jax. The same Jax who had looked out for me when he’d lived in the trailer park. The same Jax who had given me a job when no one else would. The same Jax who had been blowing my phone up constantly.
“If you don’t open up, I’ll go get the keys off Asher,” he warned, and I knew from his tone he was serious.
“I…I’m coming,” I croaked out, loud enough for him to hear, but I still couldn’t get my feet to work. My legs felt like Jell-O, and I was afraid one step would have me collapsing to the floor.
I didn’t know why I was so afraid to see Jax’s face. Maybe it was because he was the closest thing to my family? Or maybe it was because I was scared he’d see the change in my eyes. I wasn’t the same Elodie I’d been before. I wasn’t the Elodie who could flip a switch and become Lotus in the club. I was a new kind of Elodie, one whose moods went up and down like a yoyo.
“I’ll wait all day if I have to,” he said, his voice lower so only I could hear him.
I gripped on to the counter and used it to help me to the edge of the kitchen, and then I was alone, only my own two feet to stand on. The first few steps were wobbly, but the closer to the door I got, the more strength flowed through me. This would be the first time I saw Jax since that night, and as I unlocked the door and opened it for him, I knew I shouldn’t have been scared.
Relief flowed through me at the sight of his face, and no sooner was the door fully open did he have his arms wrapped around me, keeping me standing.
“Fuck, El.” He squeezed tighter, causing my ribs to ache a little, but I didn’t care. He lifted me off the floor, my feet dangling in the air. “I knew I should’ve come down to the fuckin’ lake house to see you.” His voice was gruff, but there was a softness to it that I only heard when he spoke to certain people. He pulled back a little, my feet hitting the floor, and his hands moved to either side of my face. “How are you?”
“Good,” I whispered. It wasn’t a total lie, not like it had been when I said it a few weeks ago. “I’m doing okay now.”
“Are you really? Or am I talking to the Elodie who protects herself from everything around her?”
I smiled so wide my cheeks hurt. “Really. I am.” I blew out a breath. “You just freaked me out a little.” I slapped his chest, laughing. “Didn’t anyone ever teach you not to try and break a door down when you knock?”
He chuckled, a sound I hadn’t heard in what felt like forever. “I blame my big hands.” He winked, held them up in the air like he was showing me the evidence, and wiggled his brows up and down.
I rolled my eyes. “Whatever.” I pulled back and pointed at the still open front door. “Lock that behind you.” I took a few steps back, not looking away as he closed and locked it. I had to make sure no one could get in, even though he was here with me. “You want something to drink?”
“I’ll take a beer,” he said, following me into the living room and then the kitchen.
“Of course you will.” I opened the refrigerator and pulled out one of Asher’s bottles of beers, then handed it to him. “I didn’t hear your bike pull up.” I frowned as the words left my mouth because I really hadn’t heard it. You always heard him or a member of his club before you actually saw them.
“I’m in the cage.”
“You mean car.” I leaned against the counter and crossed my arms over my chest. Jax had only been here a few minutes, and already, I felt more and more like myself. My old self.
“Car. Cage.” He shrugged and leaned against the counter opposite me. “Same difference.” I didn’t reply because I knew I’d never win. He had a special name for everything, like the leather vest he and the rest of the motorcycle club wore. “So…” Jax’s gaze slid from mine, and he glanced around the room. “You moved in with Asher, huh?”
“Yep.”
He nodded, took a pull of his beer, then placed it next to him. “He looking after you?”
“He is.”
“Good.”
The silence stretched between us, and I knew there was something else he wanted to say, but I wasn’t willing to pull it out of him. He’d come to me, not the other way around. “Asher won’t be home for a few hours,” I told him, not sure what else to say.
“I know. He told me you were here alone.” His gaze met mine again, and I could see the concern in his eyes. Asher hadn’t wanted me to be home alone for the whole day, and each day there seemed to be another person who turned up an hour later than the day before.
“Figured as much.” I waited again, but when he didn’t say anything else, I conceded. “Say it.”
I watched the emotions on his face go from sadness to concern and then finally anger. “You want me to kill him?”
I spluttered, not expecting that to come out of his mouth. “Wh-what?”
“Say the word, and he’s dead.”
“Who? Asher?”
“No.” He chuckled and picked his beer back up as if he was having a run-of-the-mill conversation. “Knox.”
Just hearing his name had goose bumps spreading over my skin, and not the good kind. I’d only said his name in my head. I hadn’t heard it out loud, not since I’d given my statement to the police.
“I mean it, El.” Jax stood to his full height, the same height as Asher. He was a foreboding kind of man, one that told you with a single look not to fuck with him. But I’d never seen Jax like that. “Nothing will come back on you or me. I’ll make sure it’s done properly. You’ll never have to worry about him again.”
I stared at him, wondering whether to take him up on his offer. With Knox no longer in this world, I’d be able to start over. I could put it all behind me and not have to live in fear that he could be just around the corner, waiting for me. But…I couldn’t. I wasn’t that person. I’d never be that person.
“No.” My voice was shaky, my words unsure. “That’s the easy way out.” I clutched the bottom of my neck, trying to center myself. “If he dies, he doesn’t have to serve out his punishment.” I inhaled a breath. “And he should be punished for what he did. He should have to spend his days locked up in a cell with nothing to do but think about why he’s there.”
Jax stayed silent for several minutes, his attention not moving off of me. “I get it.” He drank the last of his beer and placed the bottle in the sink. “But just know, if you change your mind, all it takes is one call.” He stepped toward me. “And it’ll be taken care of.”
I didn’t second-guess what he was saying. The seriousness of his tone told me he’d be true to his word, and the stories Asher had told me from when they were on tour reiterated what he was saying.
“The courts will take care of it,” I told him, trying to keep my faith, but I knew rape cases weren’t convicted as often as other crimes. But I had to keep my hope up because, without it, I had nothing to rely on.
/>
“But if they don’t…” He raised a brow, waiting, and with a clip of my head, he grinned. “Good. Now that that’s over.” His chest moved as he took a breath. “I need to tell you something.” My eyes widened. I wasn’t sure I could take any more of this conversation, not with what he was talking about. “I have a girlfriend.”
I blinked, sure I’d heard him wrong, but nope. He’d said what I thought he said. I couldn’t stop the laughter escaping me, so intense and loud my stomach hurt. Jax always knew how to break the ice and get rid of a serious atmosphere. “You’re funny.” I pointed at him, holding my stomach to stop the stitch.
“I’m serious,” he deadpanned.
My laughter turned to chuckles and slowly to nothing. His expression was the most serious I’d ever seen it. “You’re…serious?”
“Yep.” He frowned and backed away a step. “Why did you laugh?”
“I…I thought you were joking.” I cleared my throat and tried to ignore the burn of a blush on my cheeks. “Sorry. I just…didn’t expect it.”
“Yeah, well, neither did I.” He looked troubled, like it bothered him. “It wasn’t meant to happen the way it did but, fuck, she has me by the goddamn balls.” I stared at him wide-eyed, not sure what else was going to come out of his mouth. “Her name is Haisley.”
“Haisley?” That felt like the tenth surprise since he’d been here. I’d expected him to say Reign, a dancer from the club. They’d been close for years, but now he was talking about someone else entirely different. Everything around me was changing, and I felt stuck inside this house with no future in sight. My life was on pause, and I hated it.
“Yeah. She’s…different.” His gaze drifted away from me, a smile pulling at his lips. “She’s unlike anyone else I’ve ever met.”
“Well, shit, Jax. Sounds like you’re in love.”
“It does.” He sighed. “Fuck. This is some bullshit.” He growled as if he was frustrated with himself. “You should come to the club and meet her.”
“The club?” My heart raced for a different reason. There was no way I could go back to Pink Feather and take my clothes off for money. I couldn’t expose myself like that, not anymore. I opened my mouth, about to tell him that, but a knock on the front door rang out. A quick look at the clock on the wall told me it would be Leo.
“That’s probably your friend.”
“It is…wait…how did you know Leo was coming over?”
Jax tapped the side of his head with a grin on his face, then headed toward the front door. I didn’t move from my spot in the kitchen as I heard their voices, and a second later, Leo appeared with Jax behind him. “I’m gonna head out now that he’s here.” Jax beelined toward me, wrapped his arms around my shoulders, and I relished in his hold. “By the way,” he whispered. “You’re fired from Pink Feather.” He left with those words hanging in the air and a parting wink.
ELODIE
I stood in front of the window, staring out at my car sitting on the driveway. The tapping of my pencil against the windowsill echoed in the otherwise empty house, and my muscles ached with something I hadn’t felt for months: the need to dance.
I hadn’t wanted to put my emotions on display in the only way I knew how to, but something was niggling at me today. Something telling me to stretch my limbs and move to music that called to my soul. But there was one thing stopping me…
I hadn’t been out of the house on my own. I hadn’t driven my car for months. I hadn’t stepped foot in the studio for way too long.
But I couldn’t deny the soul-deep need.
It was only days until Christmas, and the last day Asher was working until after the holiday, so if I was going to take the plunge, now would be the time because, after today, I wouldn’t be alone again until my first day of school.
I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t leave the safety of the walls surrounding me. Or could I? My breaths quickened at the idea of my bare feet touching the dance studio floor, and I couldn’t push the feeling aside any longer.
“Fuck it.” I dropped the pencil on the coffee table, ran upstairs, grabbed my dance bag and keys, then shot back down them, and pulled the front door open before I changed my mind. The cold air whipped at my face, and I felt…okay. I wasn’t freaking out. I wasn’t finding it hard to breathe. If anything, it was easier now that I wasn’t cooped up inside.
It was time. Time I took more of my control back. Time I let out all of these feelings I’d kept locked up inside me.
Each step to my car felt like a marathon I’d run, but as I pulled the driver’s door open, I couldn’t deny the smile working its way on my face.
The engine spluttered, threatening not to start, but eventually, it came to life, and I backed out of the driveway, working on automatic and not overthinking anything as I headed toward the dance studio and Asher’s shop. The closer I got, the easier I could breathe. My body burned with the need to dance, and I could barely contain myself by the time I parked outside the studio. I chanted at myself to not look at the front of East Ink, afraid it would be my undoing. All I needed to do was keep my attention zoned in on the dance studio.
I spotted Aleste sitting in the front reception area as I turned the engine off. Her head turned, her eyes widening, and I couldn’t contain my excitement any longer. I grabbed my bag off the passenger seat and pushed out of the car, heading right toward her. A small bell went off as I entered the building, and my face nearly broke with how big I grinned.
“Hey.”
“Elodie,” she whispered, darting around the front desk. “I can’t believe you’re here.” She placed her hand on my arm, and that was all I needed from her to know she was here if I needed her. Sometimes the smallest of motions meant the most.
“Can I dance?” I asked, not able to keep the words in any longer. The smell of wooden floors and soft music called to me in a way nothing else ever did. It was the release I’d been craving for longer than I’d realized.
“It’s all yours.” She waved her arm at the studio doors, and I didn’t think twice about stepping toward them and into the studio. I still had on my jeans and T-shirt, so I walked across the wooden floor toward the changing room. I shucked off my clothes as fast as I could, pulled on my leotard and dance leggings, then headed back into the studio.
I could sense eyes on me, and a quick look over at the viewing window told me Aleste was watching with a grin on her face and her hands to her chest. I didn’t want to think too much into it, so I warmed up, stretched, then connected my cell to the sound system.
I strolled into the middle of the room, glanced at myself in the mirror, and waited for the first beats of the music. As soon as they vibrated around the studio, I lifted my hand, took a deep breath, and let my body speak the words my mouth wouldn’t.
ASHER
I wiped down my section as my second client of the day exited the shop and sighed at the sounds of the tattoo machines surrounding me. I hadn’t realized how much I’d missed the buzz of them until they weren’t around me. They calmed me but also made me itch to mark someone’s skin with artwork.
I pulled my black latex gloves off and threw them in the trash, then headed to the front of the shop. I didn’t have another client for at least an hour, so I’d have enough time to grab some lunch and—
The door whooshed open, and a red-faced Maverick slid to a stop in front of me. “I just…” He tried to pull in a breath. “I saw…” His took two huge gulps of air, then rushed out, “I just saw Elodie.”
“What?” I darted around the counter and grabbed ahold of his arms. “Where?”
He lifted his arm and pointed across the street. “She was going into the dance studio.”
I felt the blood drain from my face as I turned and saw her car parked in front of Aleste’s studio. She hadn’t been outside on her own since we’d come back from the lake house weeks ago. And she hadn’t told me she was going to the dance studio. Not that she needed to tell me, but fuck…what the hell was going on? She’d b
een stuck inside the house for weeks, and now she’d gone out on her own?
I pushed Mav aside and practically ran out of the shop and over the road, not stopping until I yanked the dance studio door open. Aleste snapped her head to the side, but when she saw it was me, she waved her hand to join her. “Come and watch her,” she whispered as if she didn’t want to talk too loudly to disturb Elodie.
My feet carried me forward and toward the window Aleste stood in front of. I wasn’t sure what I was going to see, wasn’t sure what I was going to be faced with, but it was so far from what I’d expected. My panic turned into wariness at the sight of her in the middle of the dance floor. She stretched her arms above her and let her head drop back, and I swallowed as she lifted onto her tiptoes, reaching as far as she could. You could see each movement of her chest with each breath she took, exactly on the beat of the music. She wasn’t just dancing.
She was the dance.
I’d watched Elodie dance at Pink Feather. I’d been mesmerized by the way her body flowed to the sexy music, but it was nothing like this. The sad tone of the violins in the music playing gripped at my heart, and the pain etched on Elodie’s features threatened to tear me apart. She was bleeding. Opening the wound she’d tried to heal and leaving it on the wooden floor of the studio for all to see.
My breath caught in my throat as she leaped in the air, did the splits, then landed on one foot and twirled on the spot. Her body collapsed in on itself, and I took a step forward, feeling the need to save her, but the music was still playing, and she wasn’t done with letting it all out.
I could barely stand to watch as she told the story—her story. She exposed herself in ways I’d never seen before, and with one final leap, she crashed onto the floor, wrapped her arms around her legs, and bowed her back, letting the final beats of the music fade into the background.
“She’s…”
“Amazing,” Aleste finished for me. I wasn’t sure that was a strong enough word, not for what I’d just witnessed. The silence echoed around us, but neither Aleste nor I moved from the spot we were in for several seconds. But the longer time went by and the more Elodie didn’t move, the more I needed to get in there with her.
Deep Burn: (Asher & Elodie: Easton Family Saga) (Burned Duet Book 2) Page 14
