Charlotte ran a hand through her long, curly hair then rested her fingers around her throat. My hand caught her elbow, and I hauled her into me. The muffled shriek she let out sliced at me. The scared glimmer in her eyes drove me mad. It was a glimmer I had seen all too often in Liv’s eyes. Was it my destiny to always ruin everything?
“Don’t look at me like that,” I snapped. But I didn’t want to snap. I wanted to implore her to give me another chance, to not give up on me just yet. As usual, though, everything came out wrong, so very wrong. “Please, Charlotte. I didn’t mean to scare you. I didn’t want you to see this—side of me. Please—”
“I just want to leave.”
“No,” I almost shouted. My hands cupped her shoulders and squeezed hard. She couldn’t leave me. Not for this stupidity.
“I won’t stay here any longer, Marcus,” she stated curtly. “You can either remain here or join me.”
She shrugged my hands off and started walking again. I allowed myself a breath of relief before I went after her. She wasn’t leaving me, not yet, and that was all I needed for the moment. I held the door of my car for her, gritting my teeth as she climbed in, painfully careful not to make any contact with me.
I joined her in the car because sticking in a place without her was no longer an option. I turned in my seat, so I half faced her, but her eyes were shut and her demeanor guarded and aloof.
“Charlotte—” I began.
I kept myself in place by gripping the steering wheel with one hand, so tightly that my knuckles turned white. It was all I could do not to clutch her by the waist and pull her into my lap.
“Just drive.”
I bumped my fist against the steering wheel before I turned on the ignition. It was the distress in her eyes that made my blood boil. The anger, directed all at myself, gathered like the bad blood beneath a bruise, like the puss in a bubble. It threatened to burst and spread through my whole system.
“Slow down,” she ordered, her voice low but steady. I hadn’t even realized how fast I was driving.
I snapped to attention, scowling and stiffening. Charlotte looked away, her gaze trained on the buildings we left behind. Although I wanted so badly to see her eyes, I didn’t need the visual contact to gauge her feelings. She practically oozed disappointment.
“Damn it, Charlotte. Once I get mad, I can’t think properly.”
“So what?” she finally snapped. Oddly, her outburst calmed my raging nerves. As long as we fought, it meant we were worth fighting for. It had to get worse before it got better. “I’m supposed to treat you with kid gloves, always afraid of doing something that might make you mad?”
“No. I don’t want you to be afraid of me.”
“I’m not—argh—just stop talking, Marcus.”
“I don’t want to stop talking. I want to sort this out. The moment I stop talking, things will remain unsettled, and eventually, you’ll turn away and leave. I cannot let that happen.”
“That much confidence you have in me? That’s refreshing.”
“Charlotte,” I said, a plea that came out through gritted teeth.
“Don’t Charlotte me. I’m mad right now. The more you talk, the angrier I get. I want you to shut up for a minute. Is that too much to ask?”
It was impossibly much to ask, especially when I knew from experience that the quieter it became, the farther apart we would drift.
I rubbed at the chill that had settled in my chest and complied. It must have taken me another fifteen minutes to get home, but it felt like an eternity. By the time I parked in my usual lot, the tension had grown so dense and unpleasant that it became choking.
“Come upstairs.” I studied her fearfully. My fingers itched to touch her, but I knew she wouldn’t welcome the gesture.
“It doesn’t seem I have a choice.” She looked up at my apartment building, clearly wishing I had driven her home instead.
When we entered the building, the doorman watched me somewhat panicked, then he saluted us respectfully. If he had noticed any hostility between Charlotte and me, he remained stoically quiet. Rather than leading, I followed her to the elevators in complete unnerving silence.
She strolled inside as soon as the doors opened, taking refuge in the farthest corner. She was still, with her arms wrapped around her torso and a chilly disposition that expanded the gap between us beyond the physical distance.
Groaning, I got in behind her and watched her rigid back with that growing chill in my chest. When the doors closed, and the car began its ascent, I placed a hand on her hip and my mouth to her cheek. Charlotte breathed sharply but otherwise remained quiet.
I knew something was off the minute we walked inside my apartment. Kinga, who always barked when I got home, didn’t let out a sound. The lights, which I had switched off before leaving, were now blindingly on.
The knee-jerk reaction was to think of my father, then a subtle floral fragrance penetrated my nostrils. It was a perfume I recognized, one I had smelled often and intimately.
“Marcus, where have you been?” Liv came limping from the kitchen with Kinga happily padding after her.
“Why are you here?” I nearly hissed, regretting my tone instantly. Liv winced. Charlotte withdrew even more into her shell.
“I didn’t know I would be intruding. You never told me that—”
I hadn’t imagined my anger and frustration could escalate any further. Liv and Charlotte stood facing each other, the past meeting the present. I rubbed my face with both hands and bit my tongue to stifle the groan that wanted to erupt from my throat. I had never wanted them to meet, let alone under such circumstances.
Before I did something I would regret, I turned to Charlotte, not quite meeting her questioning gaze.
“Please, give us a moment.”
Her eyes widened in disbelief, and I could swear she would just leave. Jaw clenched and eyes wounded, Charlotte granted my request when all her instincts certainly told her to run and save herself the heartache. I felt her insecurities and almost heard the questions buzzing in her head. But everything she imagined was false.
“Why are you here?” I repeated, harsher than before and suddenly not quite caring how Liv felt about that.
“Who is she?”
She walked closer, hurt and irritation blending on her face.
“You are not allowed to play that card with me, Olivia. Not anymore.”
The only response to my low-spoken, menacing words was an incredulous gasp. I still cared about Liv, in a way that had nothing to do with the past. I didn’t want to take radical measures as far as our relationship was concerned because I owed her affection and care. But sometimes, she tempted me terribly to do just that.
“It seems I am not welcome in your life anymore. The only way I can get a hold of you is to harass you, and when I finally reach you, I get hissed at.” Tears glistened in her eyes and fell promptly down her pale cheeks.
“You are always welcome in my life, Liv.” By dint of great effort, I managed to rein in my temper. “Tonight is not the best time, though.”
“It’s never the best time, Marcus.” She shoved past me, but even as she headed for the door, she expected me to catch and stop her. I didn’t. “Don’t get in too deep, Marcus. She’ll hurt you.”
After Liv left, I stared down the hallway that led to my room where Charlotte was waiting. Mere feet separated us, but the emotional distance pushed us worlds apart.
Liv’s warning came much too late. I already was so involved that I was unable to stop being involved. Charlotte was going to leave, and I was going to hurt.
My mind disconnected from my body. Shards of glass fell clinking to the ground, and a sharp stinging burned my knuckles. I watched my bleeding hand and the broken mirror hanging in the hallway with a bizarre sense of detachment. It was Charlotte’s alarmed voice that dragged me out of my stupor. Instead of making it better, I was messing up all the worse.
“Oh, my God, Marcus, what have you done?” she choked.
“It’s nothing,” I lied.
While I could see her rushing to me and feel her hands as she cradled my wounded right hand, I was unable to react. It was as if I watched my own body from afar.
“Let me see,” she ordered.
With controlled gentleness, she inspected the damage. Her brows knitted so tightly together that they formed a single brown line.
“It’s nothing.”
She looked up at me, her eyes penetrating so deeply that I felt her searching my very soul. She gauged my disposition just as well as I could determine hers. And she knew that something was wrong with me, inside me, even when I didn’t.
“What’s wrong, Marcus?”
Charlotte cupped my cheek with her free hand and rested her forehead against mine. I breathed deeply, her tuberose perfume filling my nostrils. It was the warmth in her voice that pulled me from the dark places I had sunk into.
“Don’t let me mess it all up, Charlotte.”
“Why did you break the mirror?”
She glanced from my face to the broken glass then to the bleeding hand she was still holding carefully. I heard the questions in her head as loudly and clearly as if she had spoken them out loud. And I couldn’t tolerate another second without her in my arms. Ignoring the stinging ache in my hand, I cuddled her to my chest so tightly that her heart pounded against mine.
“What you’re thinking—” My lips hovered over hers, but Charlotte closed her eyes, not welcoming the intimacy of a kiss. “Nothing of it is true, Charlotte.”
“Is she the friend who needed your assistance when you ran out of your apartment?”
“Let’s not go there. Not tonight.”
Her hand dropped from my face, and she pulled away, skirting me and the shards on the floor. She was slipping through my fingers.
“Why not? What is she to you, Marcus?” Her eyes burned, but her voice was low and ice-cold. She was someone I couldn’t discuss, not with Charlotte.
“Are you picking a fight?”
“If stopping you from insulting my intelligence is picking a fight, then yes, I am. I don’t think she is just a friend.”
“Charlotte, not tonight.”
“A simple friend doesn’t look at you the way she did. A simple friend doesn’t shoot daggers through her eyes because she caught you with another woman.”
She took a step farther from me, pulling her jacket around herself like a shield. I moved forward, catching her by the waist when she kept backing away. Immediately, her hands covered mine and shoved at my steely grip.
“Stop,” I ordered and pressed my mouth against her temple. “Don’t fight me.”
The way she made me feel turned me inside out. I didn’t know how to deal with the avalanche of feelings inside me. I didn’t know how to react to her rejection. I only knew I wanted to mend what I had ruined tonight. So I did what came most naturally. I sought the intimacy of the flesh and bent to cover her mouth with mine.
“Don’t.” That single word stopped me just as efficiently as the fingers she pressed on my parted mouth. “Don’t use my need for you against me.”
“Charlotte, please. Let me fix this.”
“It’s late, and I’m tired...”
Each step she took away from me, I took toward her. Yet, I couldn’t force her to stay.
“Don’t leave. Please.”
“I can’t stay with you tonight. I can’t get rid this easily of how you have just made me feel. I thought exclusiveness went both ways.”
“Charlotte—For God’s sake. It does.”
“You made me feel like I am the other woman, Marcus, and I want to be the only one.”
With tears shining in her eyes, Charlotte let the door close behind her.
Chapter 24
Charlotte
“Are you sure you want to do this? You don’t have to if you’re not up for it.”
Christina watched me with heartfelt concern. Ever since she crossed the threshold of my apartment, she had known something was wrong with me.
In a moment of weakness, I had let out everything in a rush from the circumstances under which I met Marcus to last night’s events. Christina had listened to everything I said until no detail and no thought remained unspoken.
She didn’t assault me with invasive questions or outraged alarm. She didn’t prod for details and didn’t expect more than I had shared. Her quietly patient demeanor, however, didn’t veil her concern or displeasure. She was a very protective sister, and right now, Marcus King was not in her good graces.
“I’m always up for taking care of my little niece. Marie and I will spend some quality time this weekend, won’t we, sweetie?”
Marie gurgled happily and rolled on the bed. I tickled her belly, and she thrust her small fists in the air in that adorable way only babies pulled off. Her ingenuous chortles put a sincere smile on my face, the first since last night.
“Where does he fit in all this quality time?” Christina asked, continuing to apply her makeup.
In a pine green bandage dress, with black straps covering her shoulders and a half scooped back that displayed her tanned skin, Christina looked ravishing. Diamond stud earrings sparkled in her ears while marquise-shaped diamonds set in white gold adorned her right wrist. Her naturally feminine beauty was all the better highlighted by her dark hair, cascading in perfect curls down her shoulders.
“I’m not sure where I fit in his time.”
I met her troubled look in the mirror, and for a while, we were grave and thoughtful, then we both started laughing. With one eye already wearing makeup and the other bare of any cosmetics, she looked hilarious.
“Don’t laugh at me,” she complained, throwing a makeup brush in my direction. She sobered much too quickly. “It should be him trying to fit into your time, Charlotte. Never the other way around.”
I chose not to contradict her, not when she was so utterly determined to protect my interests. I didn’t want to give Marcus scraps of my time any more than I wanted to receive the same in return.
I wanted the middle ground. I wanted that exclusiveness he had talked about, the same exclusiveness I wasn’t so sure he respected. Although relationships were never simple or easy, I wanted the simplicity of just being together.
Christina arched an eyebrow at me when my phone rang for the umpteenth time. I knew who was calling before I checked the screen.
Marcus had called incessantly ever since I left his apartment. When I didn’t answer, he started texting. I was pretty sure that my voicemail was also full, but I forced myself to reject his calls, ignore his texts, and fight the temptation to listen to his voice. I needed the distance to clear my head.
“Are you going to get that?” I shook my head, although I itched to press the answer button. “Good. Let him stew.”
“I don’t want him to stew.”
I threw myself against the pillows, and Marie immediately climbed on my stomach, her curious fingers playing with the flowers adorning my blouse. I didn’t know what I wanted, but without a doubt, my retreat had nothing to do with tormenting him.
“I do,” Christina snapped, angry on my behalf. I had been angry too.
In fact, in one evening I experienced an extensive palette of emotions.
Concern—when Marcus fought with Brayden. The authority in his eyes commanded obedience, and I couldn’t imagine anyone, regardless their recklessness, going against such feral willpower. Anybody who was wise would avoid getting on Marcus’s bad side, but Brayden had been hardly conscious, let alone wise.
Disgust—when that man, nearly naked and covered in tattoos, caught me in his arms and licked my throat. Kai intervened promptly, with such supremacy that it left me stunned. I wasn’t sure what to think about Brayden and Bryson, but Kai behaved completely differently from how he had that Friday night.
Then anxiety and disgust morphed into downright panic. Turning around, Marcus spotted Kai and the bald man he was pushing away from me. I sensed the violence rattling i
nside him, but it still shook me to the core when Marcus exploded.
His fists clenched, his knuckles turned white, then he pounced on the man. Unleashed brutality made of Marcus a terrifying man. And none of it would have happened if we hadn’t been there.
How did he expect me to approve of an environment and a pastime that goaded him into becoming beast instead of man?
I would have turned a blind eye to all that. But to a woman waiting for him in his apartment like she owned the place? I couldn’t. Shock gave way to anger when he practically sent me away to deal with her, and eventually, disappointment settled in.
When the familiar throbbing made my chest feel heavy and breathing became difficult, I knew that attraction had altered into something much deeper and more dangerous.
“You’re going to give Logan a heart attack. You are marvelous.”
I pushed my thoughts aside and appreciated Christina with sisterly pride. She put on her gold Jimmy Choo heels and came strolling to the bed, her hips swaying with natural sensuality.
“I’d rather give him something else,” she said, winking.
“You’re so mean,” I laughed, and she did too. It wasn’t beneath her to tease poor Logan all through dinner and make him suffer until they would finally be alone.
“Consider it my gift to him.”
Despite her concern for me and the little jokes at her husband’s expense, Christina was nervous. She was leaving for the weekend with Logan, celebrating five years of marriage, and she wanted everything to be perfect.
Marie crawled into her mommy’s lap, and Christina pressed a quick, loving kiss to her dark honey hair. Although she was tremendously excited to spend time alone with her husband, I expected she would call every two hours to ask how her daughter and I were doing.
“You look awful.” She cupped my cheek and inspected my red-rimmed eyes.
“Thanks.”
“No, Charlotte. You really do look awful. I’m worried about you.”
Darkside Love Affair Page 29
