“If it’s allowed, I’ll come.”
The office trailer was cooled by the big window AC that made it possible to keep computers from overheating. I sat Angie in a plastic chair by the door and went behind the partition to speak with Ellen Chase, Ernie’s wife. “So, you had a couple of applicants this morning?” I said. “Wolves?”
“We sure did!” She looked up from her desk that despite automation was still piled with papers and folders. Every winter she swore she’d get everything loaded into the cloud, but somehow it never happened. “Those boys were sure happy to have your recommendation, although they couldn’t remember your last name. Wilde. How hard is that?”
“Well let’s hope they do a good job,” I said suppressing a growl. I hadn’t really meant it when they asked if they could use my name. Also, I would have expected Ellen to check with me, but how much damage could gophers do? It was all fetching and carrying and manual labor.
After checking a few other things, I returned to Angie’s side and held out my hand. “Okay, Ferris wheel next.”
“Ooh, I saw that as we came in,” she crooned. “So bright and pretty. Can you find time to take me up on it later? I know you’ll be busy. But maybe just one ride?”
“Angie, that ride is my baby. Let me see what I can do about a private ride before the gates open. Unless you’d rather do it tonight after the circus when all the lights are lit?”
“Can we do both?” she asked, wrapping her other hand around my arm. “I have to admit it’s my favorite ride anywhere. I don’t really like fast and bumpy rides that throw me all around and leave me bruised up.”
“How do you feel about carousels?” I asked, loving seeing the carnival through her eyes. Although it wasn’t my show, and I didn’t own any interest in it, I worked hard to make it an amazing experience for all our patrons. But I did have favorite parts of the show.
“I like them. Ohh. Is this the one you mean? Look at all the magical creatures.”
Harry, who ran the ride, was standing beside it, sipping from a bottle of water, beads of sweat running down his face. Bear shifters really did better in cooler climes. “Hey, Kit. I heard you slept off campus last night. This pretty lady the reason?”
His voice held no disrespect, so he didn’t have to die. “This pretty lady is Angie Jewel, who is a good friend of mine. Angie, meet Harry, who if we ask very nicely, might take us on a short ride.”
Harry’s round face lit up at the request. “I was just about to give it one final test run, and I’d be happy to have some quality control inspectors aboard.” He lumbered up to us and held out his hand. “Let me show you why this is the best carousel anywhere. To start with, it’s over a hundred years old.” He walked Angie around the ride, from unicorn to satyr to Pegasus to the seat for elderly people and young children hand carved to look like a Viking ship. They disappeared from sight for a while, only Harry’s voice carrying back to me, but he reappeared soon, beaming and without Angie. “She’s on the polar bear,” he said, satisfaction in every syllable. “Your girl is a good one, Kit. She’s a keeper.”
I didn’t have the heart to tell him we’d known each other less than a day and had no possibility of a future, when he was nearly dancing at the idea I’d found someone so wonderful. And she was wonderful.
As the music started up, the strains of a calliope ringing out, I grasped the leg of a passing stallion and swung aboard. Walking past one after another of the amazing creatures that was only still around due to Harry’s tender care, I finally came to my mate—not my mate—who sat on the back of a lunging bear. I’d always liked this ride, admired the artistry but seeing it through her eyes it seemed magical. I climbed on the Cerberus next to her and we rode for at least fifteen minutes while Harry walked around checking this and that and occasionally asking Angie for her thoughts on the smoothness of the ride, the loudness of the music, and a lot of other small details. We finally got off, at our request not Harry’s. He was smitten with Angie largely because of all the nice things she said about the carousel, but also he was a good friend of mine.
He smacked me on the back as we were walking away, sending me stumbling a step or two with his enthusiasm. “You bring her back anytime for a ride on the house, Kit.” He grabbed my arm and leaned in to say, low, “And don’t let her go. No matter what you think, she’s the one.”
I shook my head but then nodded. “Thanks, Harry.” Because what else could I say? He was a good soul but he didn’t have a streak of tigers waiting for his return, a burden that for some reason had only been weighing on me since I arrived here. Until then, I’d been perfectly happy floating along in my life, enjoying the nice days, bemoaning the rain, and living as if the future did not exist. “Hey, if you’re free in an hour or so can you come over to the Ferris wheel?”
“Gonna take her up for the view?”
“I’d like to.”
“I’ll be there.” He smacked my back again. “A keeper.”
Sure she was, but was I?
My family didn’t even know how to contact me. Not really.
Suddenly that was a problem. I wrote them from time to time, or called to say I was fine, but how long was Dad supposed to keep holding down the fort, waiting for my decision. How unfair were my actions? How inconsiderate?
Maybe this was my last hurrah before returning to my real life, the one laid out for me before my birth.
Shrugging all that off, I clasped Angie’s hand again and drew her along the midway, pointing out the various games and amusements. I showed her through the big top where I’d be ringmaster later that night and the VIP section where I’d reserve a seat for her so she could see me in all my glory.
She loved every minute of it, asking all kinds of questions and chatting with everyone we came to. The woman was amazing. If she was a tiger she’d have been the perfect wife for any alpha. Everyone we met loved her.
If only I could offer her the life she deserved. The only way I could see us together was in the circus life, and it was not an easy one. Not one I could see raising cubs in. And I wanted those, wanted to see little children playing together on the lands where I had played with my cousins and friends.
Shifting back and forth from two to four legs and playing at hunting and chasing and hide-and-seek.
We emerged on the other side of the tent very near the Ferris wheel. “So, ride now?” I asked her, seeing Harry standing by the controls. “Or have you had enough of my playground?”
“Are you kidding me?” She faced me, eyes sparkling, lips curved up in the biggest smile. “This is so wonderful. I can’t believe you do this for a living. It must be amazing every day. You meet new people in every town and get to hear all about their lives.”
“That’s true.” I guided her up to the bottom car of the Ferris wheel and inside then followed and pulled the bar tight. Gave Harry a wave, and we moved forward and up, up, so high in the sky. Sometimes, standing down on the ground and letting people in and out of the cars, I forgot what this was like.
“Oh my gosh!” She clutched at my arm. “I had no idea how high this was. Aren’t you scared at all?”
She really wasn’t into extreme rides. “No, I am the guy who makes sure this ride is properly maintained. I know how safe it is, but if you’re a little frightened, you could slide over closer so I can put my arm around you.” It felt like fifty shades of high school romance. So why did I love it so much?
“All right.” She scooted over, arriving hip to hip just as we arrived at the very top. And stopped. “Eep! Is everything okay?”
I nuzzled her ear. “Of course. That old romantic Harry is just leaving us up here for a few minutes of privacy. Are you okay? If you aren’t, I can signal him to get us moving again.”
She tilted her face toward me, a little pale but not too bad. “No, if you say nothing is wrong, I’ll trust you. If you can’t tell, this is my idea of a thrill ride. I’m a little afraid of heights, but I also kind of like them, y
ou know? The adrenaline rush?”
“I think I get it.” I laid the palm of my hand on her cheek and stroked her bottom lip with my thumb. “You’re so beautiful. But so different from the other women I’ve known. I feel like I should ask permission to kiss you.”
She drew in a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Just do it, tiger man. If there’s a more romantic spot for a first kiss than up here in the blue sky while everyone is down below us in the regular world, I don’t know where it might be.”
She closed her eyes and waited, the breeze tousling her hair around her face.
“Angie?”
“Hmmm?”
“Do you mean first kiss between us?” Because she couldn’t mean anything else.
“I mean”—she opened her eyes and looked at me—“my first kiss. Ever.”
Oh my god. But her lashes flicked closed again and feeling more pressure than ever before, my tiger roaring approval that nobody had ever touched her before, I touched my lips to her forehead then her eyelids, each cheek, the light freckles on her nose then, finally, her lips. And the world went away. Only my arms around this little witch and her breasts crushed to my chest, her lips softly moving under mine existed. Her scent wound around us, her heart beat fast, but so did mine. I urged her lips open and delved inside with my tongue, wanting to be close to her, wanting this moment never to end.
Wanting her to want me as much as I wanted her. She might never be mine. This might be all I had from her, these few hours in time and space. But they would have to be enough because there could be no other for me.
Which meant I’d have to stay with the circus. An alpha must marry and have cubs for the pack. I could marry nobody but her. She’d ruined me for all others. The tiger was right. She was our mate.
But she could not be.
The road was no life for a family.
The streak would never accept a witch.
And as the Ferris wheel started to move again, I accepted the loneliness I’d have for the rest of my life.
It seemed so cruel to find her only to lose her. Did she feel the same? I hoped not because I wished this combination of elation at finding her and despair at the ultimate result, at our unhappy ending on nobody, especially not the woman I was destined for, but could not have.
I kissed her harder, with desperation until she whimpered under the onslaught. I let her up as the ride came to the bottom and started up again. Around and around we went on the ride I’d never be able to look at again without pain because it was where I’d learned what love was like.
And loss.
Chapter Seven
Angie
I didn’t know what happened. It was so sweet, kissing on the Ferris wheel. The sky a deep blue stretching from mountain range to mountain range, the highest peaks still frosted with snow even this late in the year. A few clouds scudded past, white and fluffy and piled up as if gathering themselves for some reason but holding no threat.
All my friends growing up had talked about their first kiss with such excitement, and I’d wanted that, too, but somehow had pushed aside every boy who made a move. The magical community all knew I had no gifts and my grandmother told me that meant the warlocks would want only one thing. And it wasn’t a life together. Just sex, another notch on their bedpost or maybe broomstick. She’d seemed to really like saying this.
And I had made the decision somewhere along the line that the marriage and romance sort of happiness was not coming my way. I wasn’t going to have sex for the sake of sex. People touching one another was too special, too magical for that. Despite my lack of actual magic, I was enough of an empath to know when someone hugged me out of friendship or affection vs. copping a feel. And it just didn’t seem worth it to me to take on anything negative in that way. Sure, the other girls said it was fun, there was nothing wrong with it, and she supposed there wasn’t, but what was the point?
And after Kit planted one on me, I knew I’d been right. While not one person in the witch community had made me want to kiss them, much less do anything more, this man, this tiger could have gotten me to take off every piece of my clothing and make my first sexual experience on top of the Ferris wheel in the middle of the fairgrounds while carnies ran around making everything ready for the show that evening and a bear stood by waiting to shut down the ride.
We went around a few dozen times, kissing each time we reached the top, and hugging all the time until finally Kit pulled out his phone and sighed. “The gates are about to open, Angie. I have to work for real now. Time to stop the wheel, but if you still want to do it tonight after closing, I’ll let Harry know.”
“Yes, please,” I told him, resting my head on his shoulder. “This is the best day I can remember.”
“Me, too.” But if he was happy, why did he sound so sad?
He waved to Harry, and the next time we came to the bottom, we stopped. I had the strongest urge to protest, to insist we go longer, that we never get off. If this was what all those girls were looking for, this feeling of just wanting to be close to someone, to touch them in some way all the time, I got it. Who would have thought it? I guess maybe they thought to find the right one they had to try anyone who asked?
Or maybe they’d miss him.
And that would be the worst thing in the world.
As he helped me out of the car, the sun was slanting, long late-afternoon rays casting shadows of the rides and booths across the asphalt and dirt of the fairgrounds. The heat of the day was easing, the breeze soft around us, and I’d never felt so right.
We thanked Harry, and to my delight Kit asked him to come back after the fair closed to the public to be our driver one more time. He agreed happily, and I caught him giving Kit a wink before lumbering back to his carousel. It was a pretty wonderful ride, but nothing would ever be as wonderful as this Ferris wheel where I’d had my first kiss and learned what all the fuss was about. Another man arrived to take the controls of the wheel during the circus. Kit had told me that he ran it himself later on, that mostly everyone had at least two jobs in this troupe.
Kit led me back into the tent and took me to the VIP section aka the front row. He called over a vendor who had popcorn and another with soft drinks and told them to pass the word that I was his special guest and everything was on him. Then he kissed me and headed off to change just as people began to flood into the tent and fill the seats. From speakers near the top, lively music played, a lot like the circus I’d visited when I was a small child once and begged to go. My grandmother thought it was silly, but finally agreed and sat looking bored while I felt exactly the opposite.
This circus, Kit explained although I could have told anyway, was largely comprised of magical beings and shifters of all kinds, but the one I saw back then was just ordinary people with extraordinary skills. Jugglers who could keep many items of various kinds in the air at the same time and never drop them. A sword swallower who could slip a three-foot blade down into his body and pull it out without slicing anything of importance.
Animals of all kinds parading around the ring. Now I realized that not all trainers were nice or kind, but at the time they all looked happy to my little-girl eyes.
The clowns were a little scary, but some of them did magic tricks that gave me hope that even with no innate gift I might have some magic in me somewhere.
And the acrobats doing their tricks high above center ring, defying death without a net.
Each and every one of these people, in performing their amazing feats, up to and including the man shot out of a cannon, were saying to me, it’s okay, not only witches can do things worthy of admiration.
Funny, I hadn’t thought of that in a long time.
After a little while, the music cut out and a voice over the loudspeakers announced that everyone should take their seats. The show was about to begin. Despite the fact that little girl I used to be was long behind me, I still felt a jolt of excitement. The cotton candy I’d caved and accep
ted from a petite swan shifter passing by was sweet and fluffy and made me happy. As did the bag of peanuts, box of popcorn, and lemonade lined up on the ledge in front of me. I didn’t even need to eat much, just enough to remember how much I liked these simple things.
A band entered first, all dressed up in clown outfits but playing very well. Behind them paraded the other performers, giving us a glimpse of what was to come. For a smallish show, they had a pretty big cast, although I remembered that most of them had a second job, too, like operating a ride or running a game of chance.
As the animals came in behind the band, some of the more ferocious in cages pulled by white horses with braided manes and tails, I leaned over the rail, watching. Lions and leopards and elephants, monkeys and, perched on the arms of pretty acrobats, various birds. All so well-behaved it was hard to believe, until a bear shambled close to me and snatched my bag of popcorn. The people seated near me shrieked and threw themselves back in their seats, but I didn’t move.
Harry gave me a wink and then roared before moving on. Once a bear, always a bear.
The other viewers, at least most of them, had no idea these were shifters. I watched for a tiger, but never saw one. I supposed Kit didn’t want to appear in animal form and then have to change back to be ringmaster.
After all the clowns and acrobats and animals and magicians and other performers had paraded past and out the other side, he appeared and my heart sped up to a thousand miles an hour.
Kit wore a black top hat, red short jacket with tails, and black jodhpurs as well as glossy high matching boots. He carried a whip which for just a second brought to mind some very naughty scenes I’d read in romance novels before I pushed them away, blushing furiously.
As if he’d heard my thoughts, Kit faced my direction and touched the whip to his forehead, bowing. I had to be the only virgin in the world who saw a whip and pictured myself naked and bound while this man applied it to my skin, leaving me tingling and aching for his cock.
I pressed my lemonade cup to my hot cheeks and tried not to think about it anymore. I didn’t even know what it felt like to have ordinary sex, much less to ache for it.
Witch Way Around Page 5
