She snorted. “That’s cute.”
“Oh!” Emberly said excitedly when music started pouring through my kitchen. “I figured it out. Okay, so . . .” She whirled on me, expression stern but full of sympathy. “These are for you. A caramel macchiato—decaf.” She pointed at my belly and lifted an eyebrow.
“I can have caffeine.”
“Right, but how much have you already had today?” she challenged, then nodded in victory when I couldn’t respond because she was right. “And here’s a turkey sandwich, some fruit, and wedge fries.” She gestured to the food when Rae set out a plate and started transferring everything from the bag onto it. “Eat it all. You’re gonna need it.”
“Why?” I asked warily.
“Trust me,” was all she said as she grabbed the plate and drink, taking them over to my large table. Once I was seated, she sat in the chair next to me and grabbed one of my hands. “No changing the playlist I made for you. No more cleaning. No baking. No doing anything at all but sitting right there.”
“What? Why?”
“Trust me,” she repeated. “You sit there, and you let them help you.”
“Who?”
She pointed up, indicating the voices drifting through the speakers. “Now stop asking questions.”
My chest pitched with a huff. “You can’t expect me not to when y’all walk in here and demand to be part of my cleaning process and then start giving me orders. In my home.”
She made a bemused face, whispering to herself, “It’s like you don’t know me at all,” before leaning forward to press a loud kiss to my cheek and then standing. “We love you.”
“We absolutely love you,” Rae echoed.
I sighed and asked, “When can I move?”
Emberly shrugged and looped her arm through Rae’s as they turned to leave, calling over her shoulder. “You’ll know.”
Another burst of air fled from me, my head shaking at the absurdity of it all. Dropping my head into my hand when the door shut, I let out a muffled groan. “This is stupid.”
Already, my knees were bouncing. My mind racing with all the things I needed to do—the list was short.
Horribly short.
The list of things I could do was much longer, and I knew it would only continue growing because I could always find something to keep myself busy. To keep myself moving.
But I could do this.
I picked at a piece of fruit, my stare already drifting to the time on the clock as my knee bounced faster.
Forcing out a breath, I nodded resolutely. I could stay in one place for as long as it took to finish the lunch, then I was done with Emberly’s ridiculous no-moving exercise.
* * *
I was beginning to think I hated Emberly.
Then again, I was also starting to think she might be a genius.
I’d moved from the table after finishing off about half the food, despite her demands. But I’d only made it to the couch before moving up to my bathroom a couple hours later. Letting the hot water and steam from the shower soothe my aches and hide my tears as my chest had ripped open. My heart slowly bleeding as the past weeks had tormented and plagued me. Whirling around and around in horrifyingly vivid colors and realizations until I was bare and broken in ways I’d never imagined possible. Until I was curled up in bed in one of Beau’s shirts even though the sun was still out. Tracing the angel wings on my wrist with the tip of my ring finger . . . tears having long since run dry and sure I wouldn’t be able to shed another.
World sufficiently crumbled, the way everyone had been waiting for.
Mangled heart vainly trying to find a regular rhythm when every thought of Beau made it stutter and falter.
More terrified than before that we couldn’t survive this.
I took the turn onto the gravel drive a little too fast but was too pissed to care. My anger only grew when I saw all the cars gathered in front of the house. The sight of Cayson’s truck adding fuel to the fire even though I’d been told I would find him there—find Emberly there.
Skidding to a stop, I yanked my keys out of the ignition and got out of my truck, slamming the door as I went. My steps hard and furious as I stormed up the familiar path to my childhood home, a hell of a lot different than how I’d gone walking up with my kids just two days before.
Crossing the wide porch, I yanked open the storm door and slammed my fist against the solid wood of the front door, calling out, “Cayson.”
I waited for what felt like minutes but was maybe only a second, my body twitching and trembling with soul-darkening anger before I started reaching for the handle.
But the sound of laughter coming from the barn had me stalking off the porch and in that direction just as my brothers stepped through the large, open doors.
Hunter’s expression shifted from surprise to his own form of aggression as soon as he noticed mine. Then he was hurrying to release the little girl in his arms and pushing her toward Madison.
But I wasn’t there for them.
“Cayson,” I snapped as I continued toward the group. “Where the hell is—” My hands curled into fists as the girl I really wanted to see came bouncing out of the barn, reaching for Cayson and coming to an abrupt stop when she saw me. “What the fuck, Emberly?”
My brothers started for me as the girls stayed behind, both wearing identical expressions that plainly said they were preparing to stop me.
“You need to go,” Hunter said, voice all a low warning in a tone he knew he shouldn’t use with me.
“I’m gonna kill her.”
Cayson reared back at the words before launching at me. “Touch her, and I’ll kill you.”
My eyes rolled as I stopped directly beside them. Letting all that red in my world and poison in my veins consume me.
“Beau, one more step, and I’m letting him go,” Hunter ground out, teeth clenched as he tried to hold Cayson back. “You need to leave.”
I held out my arms to show I hadn’t moved before tossing one in Emberly’s direction because this was Emberly we were talking about. The girl could scrap with all four of us because she’d been raised with us—but I’d never hurt her in my life, and I wasn’t about to start today.
But she’d still pushed too far.
Turning on her, I demanded, “The hell did I do to you?”
Her eyes darted around before landing on Cayson and Hunter, her lips parting as confusion marred her face.
“Emberly.”
Her stare shot back to me, her shoulders bunching up. “I don’t—I don’t know what I did. I tried—I helped—I mean, I thought I helped.”
“How the fuck is what you did helping me?” I shouted, causing Emberly to jerk back as Madison rushed Avalee toward the house.
“Enough,” Cayson snapped as Hunter said, “That’s it, you need to go.”
“I haven’t moved,” I said, turning a cold glare in their direction.
Hunter gave a hard nod. “That can change fast.”
“I’m in control,” I said, voice low and filled with steel. “Keep him away from me, and it’ll stay that way.”
“Stop yelling at her,” Cayson demanded from where he was now only being held back by a firm grip to his bicep.
I slanted my head. “I’m not promising that. Not after what she did.”
“I don’t know what I did other than try to help,” Emberly cried out from where she stood a dozen feet away.
“Seriously, Beau, she did that for you,” Cayson ground out. “For Savannah and you.”
I waited.
Counted backward.
Let myself feel all that racing anger and aggression before I asked him, “You knew, and you didn’t think to warn me?”
“There was nothing to warn you about,” he said with an irritated huff.
I gestured to where Emberly stood but didn’t take my eyes off him. “Stephanie Webb was waiting in my office almost completely naked this afternoon. Tell me how that wasn’t something to warn me about.”
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Cayson’s eyes widened and his stare shifted to Emberly just as she said, “Oh no.”
“Yeah,” I coughed out a bitter laugh. “I’m trying to fix my life, and you’re doing whatever the fuck you can to make sure I fail in that.”
Her head shook quickly. “No. No, I’m not.”
“She was in my office without her clothes on, Emberly. One of my assistant coaches was with me when I opened my office door. Please tell me how this helps me with my wife right now.”
I watched as her face fell before she could cover it with her hands. Her head continuing to move in faint shakes as if she didn’t realize it was still moving.
But I just stood there, waiting for her to explain when it felt like the life I was already losing at a rapid pace had truly slipped through my grasp a couple hours before.
When I’d walked in on the vice principal waiting for me in my office . . . stunned wasn’t a sufficient enough word. But it’d taken a second before I could move. Before I realized she was actually sitting on the edge of my desk in nothing but her underwear.
Hands resting behind her and chest pushed out to emphasize that she wasn’t wearing a bra.
I’d staggered back and shut the door, but my assistant coach, Kevin, was already backing down the hall, head shaking and disappointment dripping from him as he’d said, “Not gettin’ into this with you right now, Dixon,” no matter how many times I’d tried to explain I didn’t know what the hell we’d walked in on.
When I’d attempted to go into my office a few minutes later, she hadn’t moved.
I’d stood in my doorway and yelled for her to get dressed and get out.
An hour later, I’d been called into a meeting with her, the principal, and a member of the school board for having inappropriate relations on school property during school hours.
“And considering one of you is married,” the principal had said, looking at me with deep disappointment.
“Oh, you haven’t heard he and Savannah are getting a divorce?” Stephanie had asked, eager to spill gossip.
“We are not,” I’d said softly, voice promising wrath and showing hints of my pain and fear because this bullshit would be town news before I ever got to Savannah, and she already hated me.
The principal made a disapproving humming noise as she’d looked to the board member, letting him take over.
“Stephanie said you told her I’m in the middle of a divorce,” I began when Emberly didn’t offer anything.
Emberly’s head shook wildly. “I didn’t.”
I put up a hand to stop her. “And because she’s eagerly telling people that we’ve been having an affair, and I’ve been staying at her place, the school board wouldn’t even hear my side. They just took her story as truth, and now we’ve been written up for having sex in my office even though I was never within ten feet of her when she had her clothes off. And if there is another ‘occurrence,’ we lose our jobs.”
Emberly bent, her hands falling to her chest as my brothers hissed curses beside me.
“Which, I don’t give a fuck about her. But me?” A weighted breath dragged from my chest. “A kid heard me yell at her to get dressed, and that’s how it got back around to the principal. I work in a school, Emberly. We didn’t just get written up for lewd acts in the workplace—it’s also in a school with kids present. Do you know what that alone is gonna do to me?”
“Fuck, Beau,” Hunter murmured.
“And all because you have to go and tell your goddamn customers that I’m getting a fucking divorce?” I yelled, never losing Emberly’s glassy-eyed stare. “But, why not?” A sound that was full of my bitterness and pain left me as I stumbled back a step. “I’m already losing everything else, might as well finish destroying my life, yeah?”
“I didn’t,” she cried out. “I’m not. She came in to grab lunch—she did. I’d just gotten there, like, just walked in. I was still walking to the bar when she caught up to me. She said she’d been hoping to see me because she wanted to ask about my condo, but I told her it wasn’t available right now. And she said, ‘Oh, I know, I was just wondering if you could tell me why Beau Dixon’s been staying there. Seems kinda weird when his wife and kids are in that big house.’”
She lifted her hands before letting them fall to her stomach. “I just looked at her. I didn’t know what to say. But Stephanie said, ‘I know that’s his truck that’s been parked out front late nights and early mornings. I saw him getting into it when I was headed into work the other day.’ So, I just kinda shrugged and said my condo was always available to family before walking away. That’s it. That was the entire conversation. I never said anything about what’s been happening or even hinted at a divorce.”
“Nothing,” I said, voice hard. “Someone asks you about me? You say nothing.”
“Okay.” Her head bounced in a shaky nod. “Beau, I’m sorry. What can I do? I’ll go to someone and tell them she’s lying.”
“Don’t you think you’ve done enough?”
“That isn’t fair,” Cayson said from beside me, but I was already turning.
Already heading back to my truck.
Every step felt harder than the last. My body heavier. As if I could feel the gossip and judgment from the town weighing me down because I knew what this would do to my marriage.
And I hadn’t even had a part in this shit.
“Beau,” Hunter called out when I was nearing my truck, voice close behind.
“Need you to leave me alone.”
“Maybe you should just stay,” he said. “You don’t need to be out there making any decisions with all this shit going on in your head.”
A sneering laugh bled from me. “Think you told me to leave about five times.”
“Beau.” He grabbed my door once I had it opened, positioning himself so I wouldn’t be able to shut it. “This is messed up, I don’t even know what to say about all this. But we can figure it out. We can figure out what to do.”
“There’s nothing to do,” I ground out. “Don’t you get that? I have to go tell Savannah and hope she hasn’t already been told by a dozen other people. Hope there’s some way she actually believes me when I already know she won’t.”
His brows pulled close together before he tugged at the bill of his baseball cap, a slow, heavy breath leaving him. “Stay. Wait until you’re calm. Let us all think of some way to fix this.”
My head shook because he wasn’t understanding there wasn’t a way to. “Move.”
He started stepping away, then rocked back and settled against the door, hesitation pouring from him. “Every time you’ve shown up this past week, I’ve thought back to the day Dad’s will was read,” he said after a moment. “That was the last day we saw each other for nearly ten years. Now every time you leave, I can’t help but wonder how many years it’s gonna be until I see you the next time.”
A grunt of understanding built in my chest. “Yeah, well . . .” I turned my keys over in my hand before reaching forward to put them in the ignition. “You and I are done forever, so I’ll probably see you in a few days.”
Hunter coughed out one of his rumbling laughs, nodding as he did. “All right.” He pushed from the door but didn’t move to leave. Instead, that hesitation grew and grew. “Beau, none of us want this for you or Savannah. All of us . . . we’ll do anything to help y’all.”
My stare fell to the side as that fear I’d been drowning under gripped my throat, making it hard to breathe. “We were already far past help. And now with this?” A miserable sound left me as I finally cranked the engine. My jaw strained as I reminded him, “I’m supposed to be moving out tonight.”
He stood there for a moment before nodding. “Yeah. Well, I hope you don’t. But if you need anything, we’re all here for you. Just maybe don’t go charging at any of the girls, saying you’re gonna kill them.”
A laugh scraped up my throat. “It’s Emberly,” I said, one of my shoulders lifting as if that explained it. As if that proved I woul
dn’t have touched her. The girl had been more like a little sister than anything.
“Yeah, and Savannah’s always been like family for the rest of us,” he said, easily showing the similarities between the two. “What if one of us did that to her?”
“I’d fucking destroy you,” I promised softly, my stare searching for my other brother and Emberly, who must’ve gone inside.
“Exactly.” He grabbed my door, his hand tapping the side of it for a second as he thought. “Good luck today, man. I know we talked the other day, but I’m so damn sorry for my part in this. I never wanted this, you have to know that.”
“I do,” I murmured, and I did.
If I put aside all my grief and anger, I did.
I would’ve done the exact same thing, if not worse. I’d just needed someone to blame for my world falling apart.
I grabbed the handle of the door and waited for him to step back before shutting it. But just as I was about to put my truck in gear, I stopped and rolled down the window.
Hunter lifted his chin in question from where he stood, waiting.
“There’s something I said to Peter Rowe the other day, and it’s something that’s pissed me off for ten years.”
Hunter’s chest pitched with his amusement. “Think his brother’s pissed you off for a lot longer than ten years.”
“Yeah, not Philip,” I mumbled, my eyes rolling. “Why didn’t you come to mine and Savannah’s wedding?”
For long seconds, Hunter just stared at me. When he finally spoke, his voice was a mixture of irritation and impatience. “Are you fucking kidding me?”
“I’m asking, asshole.”
A harsh breath left him, his head shaking as he rocked back a step. “Man, why would I have come? You and I had nothing to do with each other before I left for the Army, and then the invitation came all torn up. It was kind of a clue you didn’t want me there.”
“The fuck?” I whispered, thinking back to that time. When Hunter just gave me a look like he didn’t want to play this game, I gestured to the house. “No. No, Savannah and I sat on the living room floor, putting all the invitations in envelopes before addressing them one night. We didn’t do shit to yours.”
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