“What does it mean?”
“Loosely translated, it means ‘lovely one.’ Do you like it?” It had been years since he’d spoken the ancient language of his people, but if it could bring some common ground between them, he was more than happy to use it to his advantage.
“I do. Could you teach me?”
“I could certainly teach you.”
It was too much to ask that his reprieve from their arguing would last long. Zuriel sucked his bottom lip between his teeth and chewed it vigorously, probably searching for another excuse as to why he couldn’t allow Spiro into his life.
“I’m not lovely, though. If you knew the things I’ve done, you wouldn’t say that.”
Before he could ask what that meant, his cell phone began to ring again, vibrating against the gleaming wood of the dresser.
“You should answer that.” Zuriel nodded toward the phone. “I’m tired anyway.”
“It can wait.” Two seconds after his phone stopped vibrating, it started once again. “One minute.” The he snatched the phone up and answered the insistent ringing. “What?” he demanded.
“Spiro, it’s Rissian. You need to come home.”
Until recent weeks, Spiro hadn’t seen or spoken to his family since his departure from his home nearly a decade ago. The night before the full moon, however, Rissian had called him with news that had turned his world upside down. “He died.”
“Yes,” Rissian answered. “You know the rites. You have to come home.”
When his younger brother had first called him about their father’s illness, Spiro hadn’t been overly worried. As elves, they were immortal, unsusceptible to human diseases and sickness. When the calls became more frequent, however, he’d known this conversation was coming.
“I have time.” Spiro glanced toward Zuriel and winced. Gods, he was so royally fucked. “We’ll talk in the morning.”
His father was a cruel and sadistic asshole, and the only grief he felt over the man’s passing was for himself, because his life was about to change in ways he’d never wanted.
“You know what will happen if you don’t complete the rite.” There was an edge of panic in Rissian’s voice that hadn’t been there before. Though nearly two decades separated them in years, he’d always been closer to Rissian than any of his other siblings. Still, this wasn’t a conversation he wanted to have in front of Zuriel, especially since he hadn’t filled his mate in on the details yet.
“We’ll talk in the morning,” he repeated. Then he disconnected the call, interrupting his brother’s protest, and turned the phone off for good measure.
“I’m sorry,” Zuriel murmured. “Is it okay to ask who died?”
“My father.”
“You don’t sound upset. Were you not close?”
“Not particularly.” His father was an abusive, barbaric fucker, but Zuriel didn’t need to hear his sob story.
“Oh.” Lifting a hand to his mouth, Zuriel’s eyes watered, glistening in the low light with unshed tears. “Oh, my gods. Spiro, I’m so sorry.”
Had he remembered Zuriel’s ability to read his thoughts, he may have worked a little harder to shield them. “So now you know.” It still wasn’t nearly as bad as what his mate had lived through, and he didn’t need pity. “Zuriel, I don’t give a damn what happened in your past. Hell, I don’t care what happened five minutes ago. I’m living proof that the past does not define us. We can start right now, right from this very second, and none of the rest of it matters.”
To his credit, Zuriel actually appeared to be considering his offer for once. “I don’t know. Can I…Can I have time to think?”
It was the best answer he’d received yet and was a damn sight better than “no.” He had only one stipulation, however. “I’ll give you the time you need, but no copulating, kissing, groping, or flirting during that time. Can you at least give me that?”
The most breathtaking smile stretched across the shifter’s face, and he bobbed his head slowly. “I can give you that. I promise, but the same goes for you.”
Spiro hadn’t even thought about anyone else since he’d met Zuriel, but he offered his agreement anyway. “Take care, lirimaer.” Moving to the foot of the bed, he bent slowly and placed a brief, chaste kiss on Zuriel’s lips. “You know where to find me when you’re ready.” Then he turned and forced his legs to carry him to the door while his lion fought him every step of the way.
“Spiro?”
“Yes?” He paused near the door with his hand on the knob.
“How do you do it? How do you get over the hurt?”
It was a good question, but there was no easy answer. “One day at a time, Zuriel. Instead of letting my past cripple me, I used it to make a change. I refuse to be like my father, and I wanted to help others who have been hurt by people like him.”
“It gets easier?”
“It absolutely gets easier. I’ll help you anyway I can, but you have to want it.”
“I want it,” Zuriel whispered. “I want to be better.”
“Then we’ll take it one day at a time, just like I said.” He dipped his head in good-bye and pulled the door open as his heart soared with hope. “I hope you’ll find me soon.”
* * * *
Zuriel rarely left his room during the course of the next three days. He still couldn’t get over what he’d seen in Spiro’s thoughts, and he couldn’t fathom how parents could do something like that to their children. Spiro had said that he now knew his story, but Zuriel had the uneasy feeling that the public beatings were only the tip of the iceberg.
“Do you plan to shower any time soon?” Zavion asked after barging into the room without knocking. “I can smell you clear from the kitchen.”
“You cannot.” He’d just showered that morning, and his brother was being an ass. “What do you want?”
“I was just wondering if you wanted to talk.”
“No.”
“I had a feeling you’d say that.” He stuck his head back out the door and called down the hallway. “Hey, guys. I was right.”
“What are you doing?” This had all the markings of one of his twin’s insane intervention plans.
“We’re going to hang you up by your toes and throw wet spaghetti at you,” Jacobi answered with a wicked grin as he slid past Zavion and into the room. “Sounds delicious, huh?”
“Don’t be such an ass,” Nikola chastised. “We’re here to listen like good friends do.”
“And if that doesn’t work, then we’re going to the spaghetti plan,” Oscar added, entering the room behind him.
By the time they were all there, Zuriel’s room was feeling extremely crowded. Nikola, Oscar, and Mihail lounged on the floor, while Cicero, Zavion, and Jacobi surrounded him on the bed. “Talk,” his brother demanded.
“I have nothing to say.” It wasn’t like he could tell his friends that he hated himself, hated what he’d become. He could see that conversation going over like a whore in the front pew at midnight mass.
“Nice try,” Oscar countered. “Why have you been dodging the doc?”
“You know,” Mihail said slowly, “if I had someone like Dr. Araceli who wanted to be with me, I’d snatch him up and never let go.”
“Cian doesn’t care about the things they did to us.” Scooting closer, Zavion draped an arm around Zuriel’s shoulders and pulled him closer. “I understand how you’re feeling.”
“We all get it,” Nikola added. “When I find my mate, the last thing I want to do is tell him about how I was a fully trained sex slave.”
“You know what, though?” Reclining on his elbows, Mihail stretched his legs out in front of him and crossed his ankles. “Spiro already knows about what happened in The Hive, and he’s still here.”
“He knows about us in vague, generalized terms,” Zuriel argued. “I think it’s a little different when it’s your mate.”
“It wasn’t to Demitrius.” Oscar arched an eyebrow at him and tilted his head to the side. “I was
scared out of my damn mind when I had to tell him, but it didn’t matter. He never looked at me any differently.”
“You also didn’t have a reputation for fucking anything that will stand still long enough.” Granted, he’d brought that one on himself, but it wasn’t like he knew he was going to stumble upon his mate right there in the coven.
“I was wondering about that,” Mihail interrupted. “So, what’s the story? Have you really been bumpin’ uglies with half the men here?”
“Or,” Jacobi added, “are you more of an attention whore than a regular whore?” The grin on his face said he already knew the answer, but he was going to make Zuriel spell it out for him anyway.
“I like to flirt.”
He lifted one shoulder in a half shrug. The last he’d heard, it wasn’t a crime. In actuality, he hadn’t slept with anyone since arriving at Haven. Yeah, he liked the attention, but mostly, it kept anyone from trying to get too close to him. After all, who wanted to take the resident harlot out to dinner?
“Don’t you want more than that?” Nikola fumbled his fingers together in his lap and sighed. “I know I do. I want someone to love me, flaws and all. After everything that we’ve been through, I think we deserve that much at least.”
Zuriel had never thought of it that way. He was contaminated, vile, and unworthy to be with regular people. Never once had he considered that perhaps he’d survived something horrible, and Spiro was his reward. “I don’t know what to do,” he admitted.
“Oh, that’s easy.” Bouncing up from the mattress, Jacobi stretched his arms over his head and yawned. “I’m beat.” He tugged at one of his bright blue spikes and wrinkled his nose. “I think I’ll go platinum tomorrow? What do you think, chaps?”
“Wait!” Zuriel practically shouted. “What’s easy? What do I do?”
The room exploded into laughter, and Zuriel didn’t think he was imagining the knowing smirks on his friends’ faces. Finally, it was Mihail who took pity on him. “It’s not up to you, Zuri. Spiro is a big boy, and he can make his own choices. All you have to do is make the first move.”
“Okay.” He could do that. He still had his reservations and doubts, but he could try. “How do I do that?” Everyone was filing out of his room, though, and no one seemed to be paying him any attention. “Guys? What do I do?”
“You don’t have to do anything,” a familiar voice answered him from the doorway. “He’s right, you know. Tell me it’s okay, and I’ll take it from here.”
This was probably a bad idea. It probably wasn’t going to end well. If it did, though, it was probably going to be the best decision he ever made. “I want to be happy, and I don’t think I can do that without you.”
“That’s all I needed to hear.” Crossing the room in two huge strides, Spiro dove onto the bed, rolled Zuriel beneath him, and attacked his mouth in a steamy kiss that had Zuriel’s head spinning in seconds flat. “I’ve been wanting to do that for weeks now.”
“Don’t stop.” His dick was hard enough to pound nails, and he wanted his mate with something akin to pain.
“Not yet,” Spiro whispered, rubbing their lips together in another kiss. “I want your body, lirimaer, but I want your trust more.”
He doubted Spiro had planned to say that or rehearsed in front of a mirror, but Zuriel had to admit it was a pretty fabulous line. The best part was that he believed Spiro actually meant it. “Thank you.” His eyes misted, betraying the emotions he’d been battling back from the surface.
Dipping his head, Spiro kissed each of his eyelids, the tip of his nose, and finally back to his lips. “Stop trying to figure out all the answers. We’ll find them together.”
And “together” sounded a hell of a lot better than “alone.”
Chapter Four
Zuriel fidgeted with the buttons on his shirt and spent the entire car ride trying to smooth the nonexistent wrinkles from his slacks. Technically, it was his third date with Spiro, but they were actually leaving the coven this time. They were going out in public where people would see them together, and they’d instantly realize Zuriel wasn’t good enough for his mate.
“Relax. You look amazing.” Reaching across the console, Spiro gripped Zuriel’s knee and squeezed.
“I’ve never really been around humans,” he confessed. From what he understood, however, they were a lot less tolerant about same-sex relationships than the paranormal world. The last thing he wanted to do was fuck up and embarrass Spiro in front of a crowd. “Where are we going again?”
“I’m sorry to say that you won’t be getting an introduction to humans tonight, either. I thought we’d start off with something a little easier for your first real date.”
Zuriel liked the sound of that, but it still hadn’t answered his question. “Where are we going?”
“Cloud Peak Pack lands,” Spiro answered with a wink. “Do you like pizza?”
“I love pizza.” He was touched by Spiro’s thoughtfulness. Since being rescued and brought to Haven, he really hadn’t ventured outside the protective gates. He’d spent a few days at the Cloud Peak infirmary when the tracking chip in his neck had almost killed him. Since he’d been largely unconscious for that stay, however, he didn’t really count it.
He didn’t have anything against humans, but his first foray into the real world would be more comfortable surrounded by people of his own kind—people who understood him.
Spiro was trying so hard, and Zuriel wanted to meet him halfway. Mostly, he was succeeding. There were still times when his insecurities got in the way, though, and he ended up making a complete ass out of himself. Thankfully, Spiro never let him stray too far, and he was always right there to steer him in the right direction.
“I’ve never been to a restaurant.”
There were a lot of things he’d never done, but none of them were in his immediate future. Of course, he’d seen movies where people engaged in public dining, but he didn’t know all the rules involved. Would they sit at a table or a booth? If they sat at a booth, should he sit beside Spiro or across from him? Was this one of those places where a waiter served them, or would he have to get his own drinks and food?
“Zuriel, I promise that nothing bad is going to happen. If you get overwhelmed or have any questions, just tell me. You’re not alone, lirimaer.”
No, his mate was right. Spiro would never let him fall on his face or flounder like that. Taking a deep breath, Zuriel let it out slowly and plastered a smile on his face as they pulled to a stop in the parking lot. “Okay, I can do this.”
“I know you can.” Lifting Zuriel’s hand to his lips, Spiro kissed the knuckles gently and rubbed them against his cheek. “Are you ready?”
“I’m ready.”
Entering the pizzeria, Zuriel could feel his eyes rounding and his grin stretching wider. The place was amazing. Music blared from a real jukebox in the corner. White walls, black-and-white checkered floors, and red vinyl booths gave the place a very authentic feel. The atmosphere was electric, infectious, and before they’d even made it to their table, Zuriel was bobbing his head along with the tempo of the music.
“This place is fantastic.”
“I thought you’d enjoy it.” Stopping at one of the corner booths, Spiro gave Zuriel a little push, urging him to enter first and slide around the curved bench. Then he sat as well, scooting closer until their shoulders were touching. “What kind of pizza do you like?”
Without making a show of it or even mentioning it, Spiro had solved Zuriel’s problem of figuring out the appropriate place to sit. Normally, he’d chalk the considerate gesture up to coincidence. He hadn’t mentioned his anxiety, and it didn’t make sense for Spiro to anticipate this particular need.
However, he might have peeked—just a quick look—inside his mate’s head and seen that was exactly the case. Spiro had indeed known he’d need this little nudge of guidance, and he’d purposely chosen the corner booth for that reason.
“I’m sorry.” His gift was sporadic. So
metimes he could control it, and other times it got away from him. This time, however, he’d deliberately delved into Spiro’s thoughts, and the guilt was killing him. “I listened to your thoughts, and I shouldn’t have. It won’t happen again.”
To his surprise, Spiro smiled at him. “I have no secrets from you. I give you permission to slip into my mind whenever you want.” He ducked his head and pressed a chaste kiss to Zuriel’s brow. “Out of curiosity, what did you hear?”
“Just that you picked this table so I wouldn’t stress over where I was supposed to sit.” He’d had benign intentions, but that still didn’t give him the right to invade people’s private thoughts. “I really am sorry.”
“Yes, I did get the impression that you were unsure about what was appropriate, and I wanted to ease some of that worry. There’s nothing wrong with not knowing.” He took Zuriel’s hand and squeezed. “And I meant what I said. I have no secrets from you. Okay?”
“Yeah, okay.” His smile returned, and he wiggled around in his seat, trying to get even closer to his mate. A contented sigh fell from his lips when Spiro finally got the hint and wrapped an arm around his waist. “Thank you for bringing me here.”
“I told you I’d give you anything in my power, Zuri. One of these days, I hope you’ll believe that.”
It wasn’t that he didn’t believe it, but moments like these didn’t really happen to people like him. Yes, things were wonderful now, but he doubted it would last long.
Some people in life just weren’t meant to be happy, and unfortunately, he was probably one of them. That didn’t stop him from wanting that happy ending Spiro painted for him when they talked, though.
It just made it that much harder to let go when everything ended.
* * * *
“Lirimaer, we need to talk.” Spiro had been avoiding the conversation all week in favor of cuddles on the couch and nights out to dinner. Gods, Zuriel had the most infectious laugh, and when he turned that heart-stopping smile in his direction, it was as if every bad memory faded away to nonexistence.
Jaded [The Moonlight Breed 9] (Siren Publishing Everlasting Classic ManLove) Page 3
