by Avery Aster
Kiki dresses him as we walk through the chain of events. First we must secure a marriage license. Then we need to say our vows and marry. Finally we’ll pose for pictures and answer the tabloid’s questions.
“You’re beautiful,” Sheldon compliments me as we step out onto the street.
“Thank you. You look like James Bond. Well, a more muscular version of Double-O-Seven.” I don’t know if it’s his male beauty or the fact that we’re about to get married, but I feel as though a jar of butterflies has suddenly been released in my tummy. Then I notice his face is different. “You shaved off your beard.”
“Trimmed it down for the big day.”
“You didn’t have to do that.” I know how some men can get attached to their facial hair.
“It grows back.” He winks.
As we walk around to the front of the courthouse, the press lines up as predicted.
Camera crews from E! Entertainment, MTV, ABC, and of course LUX TV, as well as journalists from the New York Post, The Manhattanite Times, and The Daily News surround us. The usual paparazzi; most of them I recognize because they’ve been following my life now for a few years. In many ways they’ve become almost family to me.
“Neve, are you pregnant?” shouts one reporter.
Oh Lord.
“Why the rush to marry?” asks another.
The man with the slacks hiked up a little too high pushes to the front. “Neve, is this just another PR stunt?”
Holding Sheldon’s hand, I take a shallow breath and smile at the cameras allowing everyone on the courthouse steps to focus on me. Counting back from five, I collect my thoughts (four) and think about how I’m going to answer this (two) and for the first time in my life, I decide I’m going to be honest with the media (one). Well, sorta.
“Sheldon and I haven’t known each other long. In fact, we just met this week. But I’m going to let my heart dictate my future.” Feeling my lips part slightly, I add, “I’m looking forward to being Sheldon’s wife and starting our lives together.”
A willingness—one I’d never experienced until this moment—comes over me with the belief that everything will be all right now.
“Do you love him?” asks a reporter with blonde hair similar to my own.
Avoiding her question, I lean forward, angling my face upward for Sheldon to take the cue, while I whisper in his ear, “Kiss me.”
His arms, big and strong, come wide as he wraps me in his muscular body. The smell of musk and diesel, which I enjoyed the other night, comes back to me, and then his lips part mine as his tongue—warm, wet, and thick—goes for the plunge.
Nipples tightening, my scalp tingles.
Fuuuck.
Just as I think he’s about to stop, he whispers into my mouth, “Let’s give them a good show.” And with that he lifts my body up, feet off the ground. Whimpering, I hold onto his shoulders for dear life and kiss him back like I’ve never kissed any other man before.
“I love you,” he says loudly, shocking me to my core.
Whoa!
For a moment, I forgot this is merely a rogue and I loose myself, enjoying this delicious guy known as Sheldon Truman for exactly who he is—a hot, muscular man with a wicked tongue who can kiss insanely well.
Too well!
I can’t return the sentiments, even if it’s just pretend. I can’t do it. My throat swells inside. I clam shut. So I wave the reporters off as we turn and head into the courthouse.
“You okay?” he asks with concern in his hazel eyes and a wrinkling of the brow.
“Uh-huh. I’m fine.” I give him a fake smile.
Oh. My. God. I’m getting married. Like right now.
Unable to breathe, the skin on my chest feels as if it’s on fire. I push my hair back away from my face, fanning myself with my hand. I can’t help but think of that scene in Sex and the City, the one where Carrie is engaged to Aiden Shaw and goes into a bridal shop to try on a wedding gown.
Unable to come to terms with the idea of it all, she panics, causing her bestie Miranda to literarily rip the dress off her so she can breathe. That is how I feel at this very moment.
Except I don’t have a Miranda friend with me, and I’m not marrying some rebound guy because my Mr. Big wasn’t available. Come to think of it, maybe that’s why I’m freaking out. How could I go through my early twenties without falling in love with my very own Mr. Big?
“Miss Adele, you don’t look so good,” Kiki tells me.
“Let me get you some water.” Blake runs over to a vending machine.
Sheldon finds me a seat against the wall, next to the purser’s office where I’ll be paying for the marriage license.
“Sorry,” I say. “Guess I’m a bit overwhelmed.”
“I would think you’d be used to the attention,” Sheldon comments as Blake hands me a bottle of spring water.
Unscrewing the lid, I take a big unladylike gulp and then wipe my lips. My cherry gloss smears all over my hand, causing my flesh to appear bloody, as if I just killed someone.
Kiki gives me a tissue.
For a few minutes we sit in silence, letting this whole marriage thing sink in. Like a shock to my system, it takes some getting used to. You know like when you walk into a crowded party and there’s so many people there that you want to run out the door. Or like on those cold Manhattan winter mornings when the freezing air smacks your face the moment you step outside, and you’d like to crawl back to bed and curl up with a steamy sci-fi romance novel by Evangeline Anderson.
“Ta-da!” Blake hands us each a clipboard with some papers attached.
I glance down: Marriage License Application.
I can do this. I have to do this. It’s not real. It’s just for work.
With a limp hand, I fill out the forms. Turning in our documents of identification, we’re given a number. I don’t know why, but I haven’t been able to look at Sheldon since the moment we sat down. Maybe I’m ashamed or scared he’ll back out. And if I make eye contact with him now, he’ll feed into my fears and call this whole thing off.
“The wait is about an hour or two,” Sheldon notes.
Clasping my hands together, I stare off into nothing and give a long exhale.
“Wonder Woman, you okay?”
I smirk, thinking about the fun we had last night mud-bogging. “Can we go somewhere and talk?”
Even in the courthouse, the crowd watching our every move starts to grow larger and larger. Overhearing my request, Blake walks over and talks to security, who nod and point to a room at the end of the hall.
Sheldon reaches for my hand as I follow him into the room.
“We’ll come get you two when it’s time.” Kiki closes the door, leaving us both alone in the room, which appears to be an unused event space of sorts.
“Having second thoughts?” Sheldon asks as if he knows what I’m thinking. As if we weren’t strangers but a couple who’d been dating for a long time. Long enough to read each other’s minds.
“Yes. I didn’t think I would, but I am.” My chest tightens with frustration at myself for going this far to be famous.
“And?”
“I don’t do real, Sheldon. I do make-believe. Suddenly, this all feels very real to me. Too real, in fact! I’m so mad at myself for putting you in this position. I don’t think I can marry you.” I run my hands through my hair and attempt to rein in my emotions.
His chest rises.
Bomb Ass Pussy
Sheldon
Observing Neve’s vulnerability turns me on. While it’s refreshing to see another side of her, her thoughts about not going through with marrying me are making me nervous.
We sit on two office chairs for a few minutes in silence before she asks, “What made you change your mind?”
“About marrying you?”
“Uh-huh.”
“I have a son who has needs that I can’t afford. Education, medication, tutoring.”
She doesn’t say anything, just listens.
“His mother is being released from jail in a few weeks. When she was first arrested, I agreed to take care of him until she got out. But now….” I pause, ready to say something that I hadn’t realized until this point. “I don’t want to give him back. I can’t. For the longest time I thought he needed me, but in reality it’s me who needs him. I can’t imagine my life without him.” Slumping in my chair, tears well up behind my eyelids as I let my words of admission sink in.
“That’s very sweet, Sheldon. Your son sounds blessed to have you as his father. He’s lucky, actually. Can’t say I ever knew my dad. Not sure my mother did either.” She forces a smile, but I can tell this isn’t a happy subject for her.
“Anyways, his mother is unfit to parent. If she takes this to court I’ll need the money to fight her.” I fidget with the bow tie around my neck, suddenly feeling as though I’m choking.
“Funny how I barely know you but something tells me that you’re a good guy, Shel. I want to help you. I do.” She sighs and picks her shiny nails.
“I’ll ask you the same question you asked me. What made you change your mind? I mean, up to an hour ago you were dead set on getting hitched to be on that show. Hell, you were even going to marry that gay socialite Thor Edwards.” I look at the clock on the wall. An hour has passed since we first arrived.
She laughed. “Thor is one of Blake’s best friends. We were going to do a whole Liza Minnelli thing where I’d later to file for a divorce, not realizing he was gay.”
“Everyone in the world knows Thor is g-a-y.”
We laugh.
“When you said you loved me, I just froze up.”
Oh man. I wring my hands and admit, “I didn’t mean it. I don’t believe in
those kind of things.”
“I know. Well, that you didn’t mean you were in love with me. Wait. Why don’t you believe in love?”
“That’s a story for another day.” Her name is Ruby Crundwell, and anyone who’s been taken for a ride like I’ve been with that wench would feel the same way. “Besides, I’m sure you’ve heard hundreds of guys tell you they love you. You’re famous.”
“They say they want to fuck me, watch me get it on with their wife, masturbate thinking about me, have a blow-up doll at home named after me, say my name when they orgasm inside their girlfriend, but never do they say they love me.”
“Ever?” I’m in disbelief.
“Nope.” She bites on her thumbnail as if the topic of ‘love’ is making her nervous.
“I can understand how men get turned on by you.”
“Is that so?” she asks coyly.
“You’re very beautiful.” A hard lump rises in the back of my throat. Clearly, she makes me nervous too.
Neve is more than just a pretty face; she’s the sexiest woman I’ve ever seen. Shit, I’ve had an erection since the second I laid eyes on her this morning. I adjust myself as she stops fidgeting with her nails and re-crosses her long, tan, tight legs.
Noticing me staring at them, she laughs.
My right hand falls behind her back as I lean in closer. Her green scent hits my nostrils, making me smile. She smiles too. For a second I think she might be changing her mind again. Hopefully leaning back to a yes on getting married.
“If we go through with this, we need to establish some rules.”
I nod. “Continue.”
“I won’t date anyone while we’re married. Neither will you.”
“Of course.” My pulse races with excitement about the mere thought of monogamy.
“I mean it. We have to act like a real couple. That means being exclusive with one another. You can’t even sext your lady friends. It’ll come out in the press. Trust me, after we get married, everyone will be examining your every move.”
I didn’t think about that before, but Neve is right. Honestly it’ll be a relief, at least for a little while that I won’t be on market. You know, available, looking for ‘the one.’ Not that I have in the past, but there’s pressure to put yourself out there, that’s for sure.
“Okay. What else?”
“You have to let me be me while the cameras are rolling. You cannot control me or tell me what to do.”
Surprised, I feel my right eyebrow go up.
“Sheldon, I need to secure more airtime from the cameras than the other TV stars. The only way I’m going to be able to do that is by being dramatic, over the top, and a bit cray-cray. Do you honestly think you can go along with this?”
I pause for a minute, collecting my thoughts before saying, “As long as it’s not at my own expense.”
“Deal! I promise. Now from what I understand, the format of the show is that we’re basically staying at a resort on the north shore of Long Island for two full weeks. We’ll be put through various exercises on how to better our marriage. There will be newlywed games and various contests that we can each win as we go along. The goal is that every other day, a different couple is bumped off the show until there’s just one couple remaining.”
“We still get paid regardless, right?”
“Yes, we each get five hundred thousand dollars for participating. You’ll be getting my half, so one mil for you. Now if we win, we get our own TV show that’ll start taping after the holidays and a five million dollar signing bonus.”
“Whaaat?” No one said anything about this to me before.
“Don’t worry. We don’t have to do that show. Let’s figure that out later. The point is that we have to stay till the end. The publicity if we win will be enormous.”
“We’ll win. I’m not worried. I’m competitive and so are you, right?”
With hesitation she nods.
“Still on the fence?”
“A little….”
“Maybe this will help you change your mind.” I dip my chin, lining my lips toward hers, and go for the kiss.
Mmmmm. Frenching this woman is the best feeling on Earth.
Neve uncrosses her legs, allowing my right hand to caress the inner part of her thigh. She giggles in my mouth. Pushing her skirt up, I soon realize… “You’re not wearing any underpants.”
“I never do.” Her voice quivers.
Quickly I lick my middle finger, getting it nice and wet, and then slowly, ever so gently, I slide it into her pussy, catching her moans in my mouth.
“What if someone comes?” she asks, looking toward the door.
It remains closed.
“The only person who’s going to come is you. Now kiss me and don’t take your lips off mine until I say so. Understand?”
She nods playfully and does as she’s told.
I kiss her. She tongues me back. This goes on for a few rounds, our lips getting redder and puffier by the minute. Her pupils dilate. My breaths deepen as hers shallow. She pushes the hair away from covering her face.
Then, without warning, she throws her back against the chair and begins to frantically rub herself, first with long strokes up and then down her vagina.
Soon she picks up speed, following that up with short strokes, her fingers going so fast I didn’t know how I could keep up.
With my thumb I flick her clit. Watching her face burst with excitement as if she’s going to take off to the moon, I tell her, “Hold onto my shoulders.”
“You’re going to make me have an orgasm right here in the courthouse.” She says it as if that’s exactly what she wants to have happen.
Sliding my butt off the chair, I kneel beside her.
Spreading her legs wide, I bury my face and give her a good tongue-lashing. “This is one bomb ass pussy.” Fuuuck.
“What did you say?” Neve’s hands bawl into fists as she tightens her grip on my hair, tugging on my scalp.
“These two lips of yours are tight.” Gently I pinch them together. “The skin is pink and unmarked. Fresh. Tasty. Like a virgin. Your bomb ass pussy is mine. All mine!”
Lifting my head, I glare at her feeling the lust swell up deep inside of me as she begs, “Be gentle down th
ere, please. I’m not used to this, but I’m starting to love it.”
I laugh before sliding my right middle finger into her cunt. My chin rests gently over her folds as I lick. Oh, I lick so much faster than her fingers could ever move.
“Sheldon. Oh. Fu—”
Uh-huh.
“Right there. That’s it. Don’t stop. Oh yes.”
I pause, getting her attention before I lick her hot flesh once, then twice. “For the next two weeks your bomb ass pussy belongs to me. Understand, Wonder Woman?”
With short breath, she pants in agreement.
“I will have you whenever and however I want. Sex is part of the deal. Yes?”
“Yessss!” Her grip on my hair tightens as her legs clench around my neck, pushing my face against her.
“Come for me. Come on.” I demand, licking her hot wet flesh.
“Now?” she asks, as if she needs permission.
With my free hand I press two fingers down just over her pussy, first a gentle tap, then a slight push making my way over the flat flesh of her G spot. Neve’s moans grow louder. Her legs, once flexed, start to spasm on either side of my head.
“Right now,” I say, jutting my tongue out and lapping up her orgasm.
On my feet, I start to undo my belt. “It’s my turn.”
She looks up at me with hunger in her eyes.
The door flies open.
Fuck.
“Are we interrupting anything?” Kiki asks with a nervous edge in her voice.
“Yes,” I grit out, forgetting the real reason why we’re here.
“They’re ready for you two. Let’s get this wedding on, people. Mr. Truman, adjust yourself.” Blake snaps his fingers at us to get in line, points down at my erection, and sings, “Save that for the honeymoon, honey.”
“Getting married to Neve Adele was easy. Falling in love with her is a whole other story.” –Sheldon Truman, father, mechanic, tattoo aficionado.
Icky Vicky
Greenwich Village
Neve
Amidst packing my clothes for the show, my cell phone rings. I freeze as the screen lights up: ‘Icky Vicky.’
