by Avery Aster
“You don’t owe me an explanation.” Neve reaches for my hand and I take it.
“Vicky, tell us something about Sheldon that our viewers might not know.”
Neve’s mother’s forehead crinkles and she squints, as if debating on whether she wants to share something or not.
“Must be hard for her considering she has no idea what she’s talking about. She’s never even met me.” I try not to get worked up; hoping my past, my dark secret, my pain won’t resurface.
“Sheldon Truman was engaged to a young woman many years ago, way before he fell in love with my daughter.”
And there it is. My fingers go numb as white spots start to dance before my eyes. “How does she know this?”
“Vicky said the media put a P.I. on you to dig up your dirt. This is what they do.”
I get to my feet, my hands on my hips. I know what’s going to come next.
“Why didn’t they marry?” asks the reporter.
“The young woman died right before the wedding.”
“How?”
“Killed in a car crash.”
The reporter’s eyes widen in surprise. “We have to take a break. We’ll be back in just a moment.”
The TV cuts to a commercial.
Neve turns it off and then looks up at me, her eyes filled with concern.
“Don’t.” I raise my hand. I don’t want to talk about it.
“How did it happen? Tell me, Sheldon.”
“Her name was Bonnye Clark White. We met in college. I loved her. She got pregnant very early on in our relationship. I proposed marriage. One night, she was texting me while driving, ran her car into oncoming traffic. A semi-truck didn’t stop in time and plowed right into her.” With a lump in my throat, I feel my nose start to run as a wave of nausea overcomes me.
“I’m so sorry, Sheldon,” Poppy says from doorway. “I’ll leave you two alone to talk.”
The camera crew steps in to film the conversation. I glare at them to go away, but they don’t.
“Guys, can you give us some privacy, please? We need to be alone.” My voice breaks.
“You know the rules,” Judd, the producer, reminds us as my vision blurs.
Neve gets up and hugs me. “I’m so sorry Vicky is dragging all of this up.”
“Me too,” I say flatly as my eyelids feel gummy.
“Is that why you drink so much?” She searches my face for a plausible explanation.
“Drank,” I remind her; it’s in the past. “Yes, that’s why.”
“Her death it isn’t your fault, Sheldon.”
“No, it’s not. I know that now. But for years I used to blame myself,” I utter in a low voice and hang my head.
“Texting and driving is something that we’re all guilty of. I know I’ve done it in the past. Is that why you drive such a big monster truck? To feel safe on the road?”
“I never thought about it that way, but probably.” I give a long exhale, and realize the usual numbness, that I often feel when thinking about it this, is gone.
“It’s in the past.”
“I know. I just have the court case coming up with Ruby when she gets out of jail. It’s on the custody of our son. I don’t want her attorneys to have any dirt on me to prevent me from getting full custody. That’s why I needed the money. That’s why I’m doing this show.”
“Shhh.” Neve squeezes my hand, reminding me that we’re being recorded. But I don’t care.
“I guess this is the price you pay for fame, isn’t it?”
“Nothing comes for free,” Neve agrees.
“Last night after my JDA meeting, you said you were going to try and make peace with your mom.”
“Not anymore!” She crosses her legs.
“Don’t let that interview and her need to spill my life on TV ruin your chance of having something with her.”
“I’m done, Sheldon. Vicky always crosses the line. I had a feeling she’d do something like this. She’d been threatening it for a while. I just didn’t think she’d talk about you.” Biting her lip, she looks away.
“We all have a past. Some are just darker than others.” I crawl further out onto the bed, pull the pillow up under me, and sprawl out. Neve curls up beside me.
“Do you want to continue with taping the show?” she asks. “I’ll understand if you don’t. We can go home tonight.”
“I don’t see why not. In the last twenty-four hours you’ve found out just about everything there is to know about me.” I’ve never felt more naked and exposed as I am right this very second.
With a slow, secret smile, she gives me a look as if she understands.
I press my body into hers.
“We better get some sleep. We have the obstacle course in the morning.”
I brush a gentle kiss across her forehead, over the tip of her nose, then plant my lips firmly against hers, feeling my erection spring into action.
“Again?”
“What do you mean ‘again’? We were just getting started when Poppy interrupted us.”
Reaching into the front of her robe, I take her breast in my hand. Lowering my head, I flick the nipple with my tongue and begin to suck.
“Wait. Sheldon, stop!” Neve shouts.
I look up to see Judd’s face turning purple. “Sorry, guys. It’s a cut. We’ll see you in the morning.”
Let’s Get Real
Neve
“Who the hell are you?” Sheldon shouts in my direction, waking me up.
“Go back to bed.” I give him a weary smile, noticing the morning sunlight coming in through the window.
“No, seriously, what have you done with my wife? You know, the reality star?” His hazel eyes study my face before tearing the sheet off.
“It’s me, you goof.”
“If I didn’t recognize those perky breasts of yours and curvy hips I would think someone else’s head is glued on your body.” His strong hands come over my flesh sending an erotic thrill of excitement through me.
I sit up feeling a bit more exposed than usual. “Last night after you fell asleep, I washed my face. This is what I look like without makeup.”
“Uhhh, you did more than wipe off lipstick. What about your hair?” Eyes wide, a streak of shock rakes over his handsome face.
I whip my head to the left and then to the right, shaking my short hair. “I wear wigs.”
“And those doll-like eyelashes?” He leans in for a closer look.
“Fake. Made of mink.”
“Your lips? They appear… not as full.” His thumb caresses my chin as if he’s about to kiss me.
“Is that a good thing?” I ask feeling a bit insecure.
“Yeah, it is. I like this understated version of you. It’s more natural.” He reaches for my hands and studies my nails.
“Press-ons,” I confess before he can even ask. “Listen, my makeup crew will be here in thirty minutes. It’ll take me about an hour to get into gear.”
“Wonder Woman, as much as I love you all dolled up, Taddy and Poppy both said you have to get real with the viewers at home.”
“No freakin’ way,” I reply with a sense of entitlement. And then with a boom I laugh hard.
“Yes way. Today, you’ll go without any makeup! No more cosmetic vices.” His voice is stern while his eyes study me with a curious intensity.
“I should’ve have taken it off. You shouldn’t see me like this.” I clear my throat realizing I made a mistake.
“You’re being silly. Poppy wants us to be who we are, authentic, flaws and all.”
“Are you saying I have flaws?”
“I think your dependency on false appearances is a huge flaw. But from where I sit, I don’t see any flaws in how you look. In fact your skin is clearer without all that junk on it. You look younger. More virgin-like.” His lips curl up into a wide smile.
I chuckle. “Well, you took that one from me yesterday.”
He grins mischievously back at me, almost proud.
&nb
sp; “I’m sorry about Vicky.” My mind jumps to last night.
“She didn’t say anything I didn’t already know. I just hope it doesn’t affect my custody case against Ruby.” His eyes darken with worry.
“Do you really think a judge would award Ruby primary custody after all the financial drama she has caused Manhattan? That woman stole millions and millions of dollars from the city and the innocent people who work for it. Their pensions, retirement funds, investments—all gone because of her. I don’t see how any judge wouldn’t rule in your favor.” I can’t imagine this not going in Sheldon’s favor.
“Ruby is Liam’s mom. She has a ton of money in offshore bank accounts, enough to buy her a sophisticated legal team that will paint me as a drunk, unemployed mechanic.” A wave of despair washes over his handsome face.
“How do you know that?” I prop my head against a pillow.
“The last time Ruby and I spoke on the phone, that’s pretty much what she implied would take place once she’s released if I didn’t turn Liam back over to her.” He curls his legs around mine.
“Can’t you do shared custody? You know, fifty-fifty, like so many divorced couples do nowadays?”
“I would if I knew that Ruby was going to be a mother to Liam. Based on how she raised him before he came to live with me, that isn’t the case. She handed him off to nannies who watched him twenty-four seven.”
“Wow.” My lips part in surprise.
“Do you ever want children?”
“I’d love to be a foster parent. In my teen years, I lived with this single woman named Calista. She sorta showed me the ropes on what it takes to care about another human being and how to love someone unconditionally.”
“Sounds like a remarkable lady.”
“Calista used to sing in a band that traveled the world. They opened for Nirvana and Birdie Easton back in her heyday. She never found love. By the time she retired from touring doctors said she was too old to have children, so she opened her home to foster children and in I came. I hope one day I can return the favor to another abandoned child.” This feels good, sharing my thoughts about my future. I never get a chance to talk to anyone about what I really want for my life, you know, after my days on TV are over.
“Something tells me that you will do that and more.” Sheldon strokes my hand. “Please go natural today. No makeup. No wigs. No fake nails or lashes.”
“Can I at least wear some lip gloss?”
“Only if that’s the cherry stuff you had on yesterday.”
“You like the taste?” I blow him an air-kiss.
“Love cherries.” His big strong hands tug at my panties.
A cough from the corner of the bedroom draws our attention over to Judd, who’s standing there with a cameraman.
“Morning, guys,” I say.
“Act like we’re not here.”
“We’re going to fuck again, so if you guys wanna watch you can. But I would suggest saving your film and going over to Tarla’s bedroom. Something tells me she and Waris will not being having sex this morning.”
Judd snickers as he makes his way out the door.
Similar to NBC's Spartan: Ultimate Team Challenge, the obstacle course is like nothing I’ve experienced. With fire, rain, heavy lifting of objects covered in mud, and several volts of electricity creating a theatrical look that I’m sure will impress viewers at home, Sheldon and I work as a team and do our best.
Poppy, looking perfect in a jumpsuit, announces, “Husbands. Wives. We’ll be putting you through physical and emotional tests during your stay here at Celebrity Newlywed Boot Camp. Each day you can earn up to ten points. At the end of the second week, the couple with highest score wins. Couples who do not score any points for any given day will automatically be eliminated. We need your full participation for all of the activities.”
Lima raises her hand. “What are we exactly going to be judged on?”
“You will be judged on your assigned tasks, therapy sessions, and how you conduct yourselves working as a couple. We’ll be looking at the holistic view of how you and your spouse operate as one.”
Due to Tarla’s pregnancy, she and Waris don’t complete all of the obstacles. Tarla, however, seems determined to win regardless. She shouts the most explicit and disgusting things at Cash and Lima, hoping to sabotage their opportunity to preveal.
“It’s a pity you didn’t go to college, Lima, since your modeling career is washed up. What ever will you do with yourself?” Tarla yells as we’re starting off with a light jog down the field.
Coming from South America, and seeming more brazen and tough as nails than even I am, I imagine Lima, under normal circumstances, would kick Tarla’s ass. But she restrains herself from getting in a fight with a pregnant woman. I don’t blame her. It would look horrible on her, especially on TV.
That is, of course, until we’re all at the final stage of the obstacle course. We have to climb a steep cement wall, which is surrounded by a large body of brown water filled with snakes and other nasty-ass creatures.
“This is nuts,” Sheldon mutters.
“This is TV, Shel. Do your best,” I encourage him.
In one fell swoop, Sheldon goes up the wall and over with ease. The other men gawk at him.
“Come on, Wonder Woman.” He reaches down for my hand and pulls me up like I’m a feather.
“God, you’re strong.” I laugh as I nearly bounce onto my feet.
Cash and Lima go next. Their attempt takes them a few tries, but they make it.
Two other couples from Hollywood follow.
I glare over at the scoreboard. We’re tied with Tarla and Waris. Cash and Lima are last. They didn’t do very well with the earlier challenges. The other two couples are in the middle.
Just as Tarla is about to make her way up the wall, Lima comes up from behind Waris and spits down on her.
Oh. No.
“You fucking cunt!” Tarla shouts up at her.
Lima laughs and says a few words in Spanish that I don’t understand.
I put my arm around Sheldon and whisper up at him, “Mark my words. Tarla is gonna get Lima and Cash disqualified.”
It makes sense, really. Tarla is all about strategy. She’ll get the weakest off the show first and then save me, the big dog, for the grand finale.
Just as Tarla is getting her footing at the top, Lima pushes her off the ledge into the water.
“Nooo!” Waris screams.
Everyone, including me, gasps and covers our mouths.
Tarla smacks the water loudly and goes under. Waris dives in after her, which I’ll admit makes him appear pretty heroic.
We all look at each other for a second, then peer with hesitation over the edge.
Tarla’s head pops up first, followed by Waris’s.
“Call an ambulance. I need an EMT!” Tarla shouts.
As the production crew helps the couple out of the water and a medic comes onto the premises, I realize Tarla will milk this one for days. Damn, she makes for good TV.
Sheldon and I win the obstacle course.
While Tarla did indeed egg Lima on with her ugly words, Lima broke reality TV code by physically pushing Tarla. It’s up to the judges, Poppy, and of course, the victim, Tarla, to decide if Cash and Lima will be sent home.
Naturally, to keep the audience in full suspense, we don’t know the answer to this until after dinner.
Bags packed, Cash and Lima are sent home.
Two days later the second couple is eliminated when cocaine is found in their possession. Personally, I think that’s a little odd because they’re Scientologists. They don’t do drugs. Do they?
“I bet Tarla planted the eight-ball on them,” I tell Sheldon.
“It scares me how your mind works,” he replies.
I laugh. I don’t know why, but if it hadn’t been for Sheldon being with me, I probably would’ve done the same stunts as Tarla. That’s why the producers hired us, to bring the drama. But Poppy wanted me to be re
al, not fake, and being real means being nice, because on the inside I’m a good person. The fake Neve isn’t. I’m not sure though if Tarla is as bad to the core as she seems or if this is all just for TV.
At the start of the second week, the final couple that stands between Sheldon and me against Waris and Tarla is removed from the show when the wife confesses in therapy that she’s been screwing our executive producer, Judd Wolf, the entire time she’s been here. Refusing to work on their marriage, the husband tells us he’s filing for divorce and getting everything, largely because she fucked up and they didn’t sign a prenup.
An emergency group therapy session with the remaining cast is scheduled in the main living room.
Final Countdown
Sheldon
“We forgot to sign a prenup,” Neve says to me as we’re getting ready to go down for the group therapy session.
We’re not miked, so her conversation with me right now is very real.
Hearing those words implies a divorce, which I know is going to happen as soon as we’re done taping. “Do you want me to sign a post-nup?”
“I don’t know. I’m not a lawyer. I’m pretty sure next week we can get our marriage annulled.”
“If that’s what you want.” All of the blood in my body suddenly feels as if it’s going cold. I give her an empty stare.
“I think we’re going to win this show. Don’t you?” Neve steps into her high heels and continues, “Poppy says that we’ve been transparent and showed our emotions on camera. The footage from last week that they tested with a focus group proves that we’ll most likely score higher with viewers than Tarla and Waris.”
“How soon will the network air the show after we’re done here?”
“Soon. In a few days. Probably the week before Christmas. LUX TV figures that’s when most stations show their reruns of old movies and by airing a new reality show, viewers will be certain to tune in.”
“That’s great, Neve.” I’m happy for her. I really am. But there’s a part of me that doesn’t want my time with her to end. Yes, I’ve missed my son this past week and am looking forward to seeing him in a few days, but being married to this woman has changed me for the better.
“We should get downstairs.” I hold the door open for her.
