I pressed my lips into a thin line. If she didn’t watch her tone, I was going to punch her after all. She was lucky the room was empty save for Declan and I. Had anyone else in the Pack been present I would have been forced to meet her challenge.
She wasn’t doing it on purpose. Challenging me at every turn. But in a shifters eyes, she would be. I had to be conscious of how I was perceived and like Declan, I couldn’t allow anyone to disrespect me or my authority. She didn’t know that, I reminded myself.
So I let it slide. For now.
"You need to find six anchor points in Inarus’ mind to pull him out. Those six points will connect you two for anywhere from a few days to a few weeks, depending on how strong they are. For the sake of pulling Inarus out of this coma, the stronger the better, meaning you need to find strong memories or emotions to grab on to. In the same respect, the stronger those anchors are, the longer the connections will take to fade, so you need to choose carefully. Once Inarus wakes up, you'll have access to those pieces of his mind at will."
"I would never invade—"
She held up a hand. "It doesn't matter whether you would or not. You might—subconsciously even. The possibility makes him all too aware of what you're anchoring to.”
Dia chewed her lower lip. “The problem is you have limited potential anchors. You can only anchor to memories or emotions that relate to you. Had I been the one doing this, I have a lifetime of childhood memories to grab on to. You and Inarus have a few months worth."
And not all of them were pretty. There wasn’t anything that could be done about that. "I'll be more careful."
"Good. Now get in there and bring my brother out."
I took a deep breath but before I closed my eyes, Declan reached out and placed a hand on my shoulder. Looked like he wasn’t going to continue his streak of indifference after all.
I reached up to grasp his fingers, the warmth of his hand giving me an added measure of confidence.
"It'll be okay," I said in what I hoped was a reassuring tone. Emotions reverberated down the mate bond. Annoyance. Frustration. A hint of desperation.
Our relationship was new and Inarus had once been a threat. I couldn’t blame Declan for how he felt. If I were a better person I would take a moment to ease his concerns. But I had no idea how to do that, so instead, I smiled up at him in a way I hoped exuded confidence in both the task at hand, and in us.
There wasn’t much more I could do.
He leaned down and kissed my forehead. “If you need me, I'm here."
Ever the supportive mate.
He deserved better than me.
Selfishly, I didn’t care.
He was mine.
I closed my eyes and reach out for Inarus's mind again.
This time, he let me in without question. “Over here. Anchor to this memory.” He guided me through his mind. It was a sea of vivid colors. Threads connected from one point to the next in an intricate web. I wondered how he managed to pinpoint what he was looking for.
He led me to the moment we first met.
He’d been a stranger in my apartment complex hallway. An attractive stranger, but a stranger nonetheless. The hairs on the back of my neck had stood on end and my internal alarm system had been blaring.
From his perspective, I’d been pretty but not beautiful. He'd been surprised I managed to pique his interest.
I was a mark. He might pursue me for a time but he had a job to do and he wouldn’t allow any potential interest he had in me to interfere with his job.
My self-esteem took a hit and a feeling of betrayal washed over me.
It was illogical but the feeling still gnawed at the pit of my stomach.
“I’m sorry. I don't still—”
“It's fine.” I shoved my emotions down. This was an anchor Inarus had picked to show me. An easier memory for him to share. The next one would likely be less enjoyable.
Something to look forward to.
I sank into the memory and anchored myself to it the way Dia taught me.
The memory and Inarus's emotions related to it washed over me.
Guilt. Regret. Shame.
“Why?”
“I’m not that person anymore.”
I smiled. “No, you're not.”
I couldn't see his expression. Not on the mental plane. But a part of me imagined him nodding.
“Come on. Here's the next one.”
The second and third anchors were easy to connect to. Mild and insignificant memories of when Inarus had been trailing me. Another when he’d come into my office to ask me on a date. Things moved quicker now that I wasn’t wondering around his mind aimlessly. He seemed to have taken the time to locate the points he was alright with me anchoring too and time seemed to fly by.
Until we reached the fourth point. That one was a harder pill to swallow.
We were in the H.A.C. headquarters and I'd just walked into a restricted access room.
This was the proverbial fork in the road. The moment Inarus chose sides and made a life-altering decision he could never take back.
Irritation bloomed in his chest. Why didn’t she ever listen? Why was she so damn stubborn?
The she was me. I’d forced my way into a room that had a clear sign stating restricted access.
My first reaction had been horror when I’d seen what lay behind those closed doors.
Inarus’ had been indifference.
It’d been months since that day but even now, what I’d found made my heart hammer and bile rise in the back of my throat.
Inarus saw animals locked behind a series of cages. He hadn’t seen them as vulnerable shifter children, like I did. In his mind, they were the next generation of the enemy.
He had no interest in doing them harm. He wouldn’t kick a dog just because he could. He wasn’t cruel, but it didn’t even dawn on him to set them free. Why would he release something that could become a future threat?
I’d forced him to release them and that was how he’d felt. Forced.
I’d taken the choice from him the moment we were caught because in that moment Inarus had realized two things.
One, I mattered to him. More than anyone had mattered to him in a very long time. Unless he was fine standing by watching me be killed, he had to act. He knew in his very core I wouldn't leave them behind and there was no way the H.A.C. would let me leave after what I’d found.
I’d refused to let him to teleport me to safety until every child was teleported first. He made quick work of rescuing the children and then came back for me.
But none of them had mattered.
They were an obstacle to his goal. Getting me out safely.
Even now his emotions were the same.
Where with the first anchor points, his initial emotional impression didn’t match his current feelings, this one stayed the same.
He didn’t regret setting the children free. He didn’t regret his choice in helping me. But that didn’t take the sting out of the memory. I’d pushed him down this path and I’d taken away what he’d seen as his future.
I anchored my mind to the point and took a mental step back.
I needed a moment.
I pulled out of his mind and found myself wrapped in Declan’s arms.
He didn’t say anything. He just folded me into his embrace and rubbed small circles along my back. I leaned my head harder against his chest, taking comfort in the steady rhythm of his heartbeat. Pine and mint filled my nose as I inhaled his scent and took comfort from his hold.
“You back with us?” His voice was a rough timber.
I was hurt and he wasn’t happy about it. But how did I explain it? How did I describe what that last anchor had made me feel?
I couldn’t. Not without hurting the man I’d grown to love.
Moisture leaked from my eyes. I wiped it away and sniffed.
Dia leaned toward me. “How many?”
“Four.”
“They won’t get easier.” Her voice
was soft, almost apologetic.
I’d figured as much so I just nodded.
“The longer you stall the harder this will be. For both of you.” Her blue-grey eyes implored me not to give up.
I didn’t need the push. Inarus was my friend. I wouldn’t abandon him to isolation within his own mind for who knew how long.
I took another few seconds to compose myself and then dove back in.
The four points I’d anchored to shone like bright beacons. Burning stars in the endless dark. I scanned the mental landscape searching for Inarus’ psyche. “Where are you?”
A rush of awareness. “How long until I wake on my own?” Desperation coated his words.
“Annabeth estimates three to four weeks. Possibly longer.”
His injuries were still substantial. A regular human would have died. The breaks in his body had mended. The internal bleeding had stopped. But he was weak. It had taken every ounce of strength he had just to keep his body going.
He swore.
“Do you want to wait?”
“No.”
His response was immediate.
I couldn’t blame him. Trapped in your own mind was its own form of hell. None of us knew how long he’d been mentally aware, trapped inside his body and unable to open his eyes. But judging by the levels of anxiety I sensed, it’d been long enough.
“Follow me.”
He led me through the inky black to another memory. It flared as I reached out and my mind grabbed onto it with hungry claws. After this, I’d only need one more.
Panic gripped me.
I saw myself through his eyes. My body lay prone on a cold metal table. Fear settled into my gut. Declan’s beast raged through the room as I stood locked in place. My eyes scanned what was directly in front of me. A series of tubes, machines, and two other bodies.
Recognition thrummed through me. Aiden was white as a sheet. Perspiration dripped down his face. I followed the tubes. He was connected to Aria somehow. My eyes scanned her. Pain was etched into every line of her body. She screamed. Without thinking, I sprang into action. The light was already dimming in Aiden’s eyes but I used my telekinesis, plunged my powers into his chest, and pulled.
His heart ripped free from his chest and he fell forward. Grief slammed into me. It was visceral. I’d murdered my friend. A man I’d thought of as a brother.
My eyes drifted toward Aria. I watched as Declan lifted her into his arms. I’d murdered Aiden for her. For a woman in the arms of another man—
“Enough!”
He shoved, ripping me out of the memory.
I shook and anchored my mind to the point. I was tormented. No. That wasn’t me. That wasn’t my emotion. The memory left Inarus tormented. Why?
I was tempted to step back into it but before I could, Inarus gave me a mental shake.
“Use the anchors and pull me out.”
“But that’s only five,” I sputtered.
“It’ll have to be enough.”
Inarus shoved me out with enough force that I found myself retching on the cold stone floor of the compound, effectively evicted from his mind.
5
Mother fu—I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand. Declan knelt beside me.
“What happened?”
I pushed myself to my feet. “Inarus is a dick.”
Declan’s emerald eyes narrowed and filled with icy fury. “What did he do?”
Shit. I probably shouldn’t have said that.
Before I could decide how best to defuse Declan’s mounting anger, Dia interjected.
“Get up.” Calm, deliberate. “Get up and pull my brother out. Now.”
Could she cut me some slack? Jeez.
He just shoved me out of his mind. What did she expect me to do? I wasn’t a miracle worker and I sure as hell needed a damn minute.
“She needs a minute,” Declan growled.
“Aria, get off the floor.”
I groaned and rolled onto my side. It hurt. It hurt so freaking much. My skull pounded. “Fuck you too.”
She tapped her foot. “You’re back. I’m assuming it’s done.”
I flipped her off. “No. He gave me five. Number six doesn’t look like it’s going to happen.”
Why hello there, sparkly lights. My head spun.
She swore. “You’re joking?”
I sat back on my knees and looked up at her. “Wish I was, but he decided to get pissy at the fifth anchor and shoved me out of his mind.” I rubbed my temples. “Is it possible to make do with five?”
Please say yes. Please. I really needed someone to throw me a bone for once.
She shook her head. “No. And he knows that. Six was already cutting it short given that your memories of one another are more recent.”
She swore again and paced across the room. “What was he thinking?”
She didn’t direct the question at me so I didn’t bother answering. Instead, I rubbed my head and leaned on Declan’s strength. My vision was hazy as it was. Any sudden movements and I had a feeling my face would get up close and personal with the floor again.
“What do you want me to do? I can try with five or we can call it a day.” I prayed she would say to call it a day. I didn’t have anything left in me to keep going. As it was I could barely keep my eyes open.
“Try again.”
“No.” Before I could answer, Declan snarled the word. “She’s exhausted. She’s going to rest. That prick can stew in his own head until morning.”
“But—”
The beginnings of a roar built deep in Declan’s chest.
Dia’s eyes widened and she took two steps back.
Smart. I wouldn’t want to piss off Declan if I were her either. Right now, she was a guest. Declan had been more than hospitable and he could easily revoke his hospitality at any moment.
“Fine.” She scowled down at me. “But first thing in the morning I expect to see you here.”
I wanted to tell her off. She wasn’t in a position to give me orders. But I owed Inarus. I wasn’t going to screw him over because his sister was on a power trip, so I ignored her.
Declan helped me to my feet and I stumbled out into the hallway.
I straightened my back and forced myself to take a step forward. Then another.
I needed to make it back to our room on my own two feet.
Declan stayed right beside me, ready to catch me should I fall, but made no move to help me unless I signaled that I needed it.
He’d cleared the floor and I was grateful. But our room was several floors up and I couldn’t appear weak in front of the Pack. He knew it. And I knew it.
Just put one foot in front of the other. I could do this.
I took a deep breath.
Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming. Swimming. Swimming.
I slept for thirteen hours. I hadn’t realized just how exhausted I was until the door closed behind me and Declan scooped me into his arms. I couldn’t even remember my face hitting the pillow.
Now, morning sunlight streamed in through the windows. The clock on the bedside table flashed seven A.M.
I decided I could use a few more hours of rest and rolled over to my side, closing my eyes again.
Memories flooded my mind. Me on the table. Shock and horror quickly followed by anger. Rage consumed me. Aiden. He was responsible. He was going to take her from me.
A quick and vicious jerk.
I bolted upright and looked down at my chest.
“Just a dream,” I told myself.
Only it wasn’t. I hadn’t even fallen back asleep yet.
There was a rumble to my left. Declan’s eyes were wide open, his every muscle coiled and ready to strike.
“What is it?” His question was a raspy growl that sent shivers up and down my skin.
I shook my head. “Nothing. Go back to sleep.”
He sat up and wrapped an arm around me. “I thought we agreed, no secrets. Not anymore.”
I sighed. He had
a point but telling him I’d just experienced one of Inarus’ memories wasn’t going to put him in a great mood for the day.
“Just some unwelcome after-effects of anchoring with Inarus. Nothing I can’t handle.”
His eyes narrowed and I could see the gears turning in his mind.
I waited.
“Are you sure?”
“Positive.” I flung the covers off and hopped out of bed, taking a quick moment to stretch.
Declan made a murmur of appreciation that sounded a lot like a purr, not that I would say that out loud. According to him, weretigers did not purr.
“I’m starving. Food?” I asked.
“Food.” He agreed and sprang out of bed with all the grace of a cat, giving me a full view of his naked chest.
I bit my lower lip. Declan’s eyes darkened and he prowled toward me.
“Are you sure it’s just food you’re after?”
Instinctively, I took a step back while a flush rose in my cheeks.
Declan’s gaze filled with flecks of gold. His muscles bunched and I could see he was about to pounce.
My stomach rumbled.
He paused and my cheeks heated in an entirely different way as embarrassment suffused me.
“Yep, just food. Gotta run.”
I turned and ran for the door.
He chucked behind me. “Coward.”
I was but there wasn’t anything I could do about it now. Sure we’d had sex. It was glorious. The best sex I’d had in my life. But sex with Declan was all consuming. In those moments, I lost myself so completely I didn’t know where he began or where I ended.
The bond wove tighter and tighter between us. It was amazing and terrifying all at once.
Eventually, I’d get over it. I wanted sex. I knew he wanted sex. I just needed to stop freaking out at the idea of it all. Thankfully, Declan didn’t push.
We never really had the chance to date and I wanted to take things slow. To get to know one another. He was being patient with me and I appreciated the hell out of it.
I’d almost made it to the kitchen when Declan caught up to me. He was dressed now, sporting the sweats he’d slept in and a forest green long-sleeved shirt.
“You decided to join me for breakfast?”
Forged by Fire: An Urban Fantasy Novel (Blood and Magic Book 6) Page 4
