by Erin Trejo
I hear him sigh into the phone, but there is nothing he can say that is going to change my mind about this. She’s going with me. I want more of her. Something in me needs her.
“She’s different you know? She isn’t just some girl you can fuck over and toss Monster,” he warns softly.
“I know doc. I didn’t plan on tossin’ her anywhere. She bailed on me not the other way around.”
“I’m not telling her. You can come by and get her yourself.”
I almost laugh because I can picture her reaction if he had told her.
“I’m headin’ that way in a few.”
Chapter 14
Kyza
Paul asked me to go down to the store and grab some more paper towels for the clinic. It was strange that he asked when it was as late as it was. He typically doesn’t like me going out at night. As I’m walking back I nod my head to the music I’m listening to through my headphones. It’s a nice night for a walk.
I’ve asked myself why I’ve stayed here for this long. The plan was always to keep moving, but once I got settled in with Paul I found that I loved Miami. There’s always something happening and that helps to keep me busy.
Our neighborhood isn’t the best, but I can walk right over to all of the clubs and be in the heart of town in the matter of minutes. I can get lost in the crowd and never look back if that’s what I chose to do. Some days I consider it.
I’m walking behind the clinic ready to head back inside when something catches my attention. I see a shadow move and I just react. I swing the bag of paper towels around and it collides with the shadow.
“Did you really think that would hurt?” Monster’s voice thunders through the night.
“You asshole! What are you doing creeping around in the dark?”
“I thought you liked me better in the dark?”
Bastard. I swing the bag and hit him again even though I know it won’t hurt him.
“You’re a prick. What do you want?”
I unlock the door and head inside. Monster isn’t far behind me. I set the bags in the back before I flip the lights on.
“Pack a bag,” he says looking me in the eye.
“Have you lost your mind?”
“No. Pack a bag. You’re comin’ with me.”
He crosses his arms over his chest and just glares at me. I laugh and turn around while shaking my head. I walk into my room and drop onto the bed. I’m exhausted from the day. I lie down, grab my blanket, and pull it up over my body.
“Why don’t you ever listen?”
“I’m tired,” I mumble from under my blanket. “Go away.”
In mere seconds I feel the bed shift and I know that he’s behind me. His words from that night have lingered in the back of my mind. I’ve let them sink in and I’ve thought it over. What if he’s right? What if I really am hiding from who I truly am? That’s not what I wanted. None of this is what I wanted, but it is my life now. This is what I’ve chosen to do.
“You’re comin’ with me,” his deep voice sends a chill down my spine.
I roll over so that my back is toward him. I’m not going anywhere with him after the way he made me feel. I like it too much and that’s dangerous.
“No. I don’t think I am.”
In seconds the comforter is pulled off of my body and Monster has me rolled over onto my stomach. His strong body is pressed against mine as I wiggle to try to get away from him.
“Stop! What the hell?” Monster just keeps me pinned in place.
His lips caress the back of my neck and I find myself almost moaning. I hate him for making me feel this way.
“I said you’re comin’ with me. I don’t give a shit if I have to fuck you into submission or tie your ass to the back of my bike, but you’re comin’,” he whispers as his mouth continues to torture me.
Fucking me into submission does sound good, but there is too much happening inside of me right now. Monster’s hand slips down my side and I let a moan slip out this time. He chuckles against my ear, “Put your hands above your head.” I do so without thought. He growls low in his throat. In a matter of seconds I feel something cold around my wrists. Before I can stop him he’s off the bed. I roll over and my mouth hangs open. He’s handcuffed me and my arms are trapped tight.
“What the fuck is this?” I ask holding my confined wrists out toward him.
“That’s you comin’ with me. I told you that you were comin’. You’re such a goddamn, stubborn, little shit.”
He shakes his head and starts grabbing my clothes and stuffing them into a bag.
“I’m not going with you. For one, I don’t even know where you’re going. Two, you just handcuffed me,” I yell even louder.
Monster doesn’t seem to care. He just laughs and continues packing my shit.
“You need anything else? Girl items?”
I raise my eyebrow at him, “Girl items? Really? You can’t say pads or tampons?”
“Do you need them or not?”
“No asshole. Not yet.”
He grunts and it vibrates through his muscular body. I can still remember what he felt like pressed against me. That high he makes me feel. I swallow hard. My mouth is suddenly dry from just the memories.
“What are you thinkin’ about? You’re blushin’.”
I look away from him quickly. I don’t want him to see me like that. In fact, I just want him to leave.
“Can you take these off now? Play time is over.”
“Play time has just begun. Let’s go.” He leans down and jerks the cuffs which makes me stand up.
He doesn’t let me go even as I protest the entire way outside. Monster locks the door before he stuffs my pack into one of the bags on the side of his bike. He turns back to me and smiles like an idiot looking like he’s just won the lottery. His eyes drink me in from head to toe and stop on the cuffs before his eyes come up to meet mine.
“You expect me to ride like this?” I ask as I hold the cuffs up in the air.
He nods his head, walks toward me, and lifts me up into his arms. He walks me over to the bike and sets me on the back before he places the helmet onto my head.
“What if we wreck? Huh? How am I supposed to cushion the fall?”
I’m trying everything I can think of to try to get out these things. Monster just laughs and climbs on in front of me. Glad to know I can be a source of amusement to him.
“Put your arms over my head,” he demands.
I think about ignoring him and just risk falling off, but when he growls, yes he growls, I do it. He pulls my arms down so that I’m securely plastered to his back. Never mind that it’s an amazing back.
“What if we wreck?” I ask once more just to be a pain in his ass.
“Then we go down together,” he states simply.
He slides his helmet on and revs up his bike. I tighten my arms around him and find myself strangely okay being cuffed to this man. I would have never thought that, but the way he is with me is something I could find myself getting used to. Monster doesn’t give me the option to stay away from him. It’s the opposite in fact. He gives me space when he feels I need it, but he always seems to come back; like now.
We pull out from behind the clinic and onto the main road. The wind whips around us and I rest my head against his back. His muscles tense, but then he grabs my thigh and gives it a squeeze. I don’t know what he means by doing that. Is he reassuring me, or is this something else? I’m so confused by the feelings I have for him. With everything that has happened in my life it’s hard to differentiate all these new confusing emotions from each other. Some days I feel like I’m still back there; stuck in that house. Some days I feel like a new person, but Monster was right about one thing. I’m hiding who I truly am, and the more I’m around him the more I can feel her in there.
I don’t want to. I don’t want to be her anymore. She was bad. She killed. She hated to the point that she was nearly responsible for the deaths of more people. She was a monster he
rself and I don’t think I can go back to being her, yet weirdly at the same time, I miss her. I miss her confidence. I miss her smile. I miss the way she didn’t take shit from anyone. Most of all I miss the way I was able to look in the mirror and be able to see who I really was.
When I look at myself now, I don’t know who I am. I don’t know this girl that I’m trying so desperately to be. I’ve always been good at taking care of people in one way or another, but living a life hiding in the shadows was never my intention.
I was never afraid or naïve. I was bold. I was beautiful. I was fucking deadly.
Now I’m a shell of what I once was, the result of who I’ve made myself become. Being around Monster I can feel her clawing at my insides and begging me to step aside and let her back out. I think I want to. God, how I’ve missed her.
She was the rock in my life and now she’s buried so deep inside of me, all so the world doesn’t look at me the way they did. The way he did. I’m torn in half, and I’m not sure which part of me is going to win.
Chapter 15
Monster
She didn’t complain that she was tired, but I could feel her body jolting too many times for my liking. I took us through to Savannah and found a hotel before pulling over. I pull her arms up and she pulls them from around me as I climb off and lift her off with me. Gently I take the helmet off her head and I can see how truly tired she is.
“You should have told me you were tired,” I tell her.
She shrugs like it doesn’t matter.
“Come on,” I say as I usher her toward the door.
“You don’t think they’ll say anything about a giant ass like you with a handcuffed girl?”
She laughs no doubt thinking I’m going to let her go. Not a fucking chance in hell. She looks sexy as hell cuffed like she is. I can do whatever the fuck I want and there is nothing she can do to stop me.
“Not in this place,” I answer her with a wink.
She rolls her eyes and follows me inside. The girl at the counter looks up. From me, to her, then to the handcuffs, and back at me once more.
“You had to cuff her?” she asks with a southern drawl.
“She wasn’t cooperatin’ with me. You know the drill,” I tell her with a smile.
“You never learn do you Monster?”
Nikki smiles at me before she moves around the counter to give me a hug.
“Oh that’s just great. She knows about you and your handcuffs. I take it I’m not the first one you’ve forced to go on a journey with you?” Kyza remarks sarcastically next to me. Nikki pulls back and smiles over at her. She moves to shake her hand but stops because of the cuffs.
“Okay. I’m Nikki. Nice to meet you.”
“This is Kyza,” I tell her nodding toward her.
Nikki smiles as she moves back around the desk and starts typing away at her keyboard.
“Kyza, the kidnapped girl from Florida. The one cuffed and taken against her will.”
I think it’s cute. No, I think it’s downright adorable the way she thinks that matters to anyone here.
“You say kidnapped, I say encouraged to take a trip.”
“Excuse me? Encouraged would have been something like, ‘Hey Kyza, you really should take some time for yourself.’ Not pinning me to the bed and cuffing me,” she snaps and I chuckle.
“I didn’t hear you complainin’ when you thought you were gettin’ my dick again,” I remind her. Her eyes narrow to slits and it makes my cock respond and go rock hard.
“Don’t forget I stabbed you asshole.”
“Okay, so I’ll put you guys in room ten. It’s around the back as usual,” Nikki chimes in causing our argument to stop for the moment.
I liked it. I’m almost pissed that she interrupted us because I saw that flicker in Kyza’s eyes again. I know she keeps it locked up tight.
“Thanks Nikki. Tell your dad I said hi,” I tell her as I grab the key from her, grab the cuffs, and pull Kyza back outside.
We helped Nikki’s dad out in the past. Well, I guess I should say Viking did back when he wanted to buy this place. Viking knows him from some shit that went down years ago, but I don’t even know that story. All I know is that I’ve been here more than once to help get it cleaned up.
“Bring your captives here often?” Kyza sneers acting like a brat. I like it. I like seeing her like this.
“It’s been a while. Go around back while I move the bike,” I tell her.
She rolls her eyes at me and walks toward the back of the building. A few people linger as I push the bike with my feet. I don’t need any surprises from her. She does it though. She still manages to surprise me.
“Hey. I’m Kyza. I’m a kidnapped queen. Feel free to report this. Please?” she announces with a smile holding her arms up so that they can see her cuffs.
I laugh. It’s a real fucking laugh too. It’s been too fucking long since that’s happened and it’s almost scary that I’m doing so now. The guys smoke their cigarettes. They’re not paying much attention to her as Kyza keeps walking.
“You can laugh? I had no idea that was possible,” she smirks.
I roll the bike to a stop and climb off.
“I wasn’t aware you had jokes either.”
I leave the helmets on the seat and lead her toward the room. Once I have the door open I usher her inside. Kyza walks over and drops onto the bed on her back and sighs. I shrug my cut off, toss it to the chair with my keys and wallet, and sit down in the chair next to the bed.
“You hungry? I can order somethin’.”
She nods her head as her eyes drift closed. She doesn’t bitch or say a word about still being cuffed. She just closes her eyes and drifts off to sleep. I call and order a pizza before I head to the bathroom for a shower.
I think while I’m bathing. I think about why I brought her along for this. What am I doing with her? I’m not sure I understand any of this yet, but I don’t plan on letting her go anytime soon either. I want her to see herself. I want her to be who she was meant to be. I don’t know why I want all of that, but I can feel that she needs it. I want to be the one to show her. She’s isn’t any different than me. I know that and I think it’s why something in her calls to me.
I climb out of the shower when I hear a knock on the door. I tie the towel around my waist and move quickly through the room to grab my wallet. I look over my shoulder to find her still sleeping.
“Hi you ordered pi-,” the words die in the girl’s throat as she looks at me.
Same shit. Her eyes wander over my body, but linger on my scars. I don’t think about it, but the way her face scrunches up pisses me off.
“Here,” I say harshly and shove the money at her.
“What happen-,” but before she can get another word out Kyza is on her.
Even handcuffed she is taking the girl on. She has a handful of the girl’s hair and is tugging her head back as I watch in complete awe.
“What the fuck is with you? First you’re eyeing him and then you have the balls to ask a stupid question?”
I can see that we’re drawing a crowd of some of the other guests. Kyza is shaking the hell out of the girl when I move to grab her around the waist.
“Easy killer,” I tell her with a laugh. “Let her go.”
Her hands only tighten more as she tries to fight me off.
“You crazy bitch.”
I almost laugh when Kyza kicks her in the ass. I have a tight grip on her, so there’s not much more she can do.
“Let her go scrappy,” I whisper in her ear.
She finally listens to me and lets her go. I don’t check to see if the girl is okay. I just keep moving back. Once we’re back in the room I set her on her feet and close the door behind us. She looks up at me with fire dancing in her eyes. Before I can register what’s happening she’s throwing herself against me. Her cuffed hands wrap around my neck to pull me to her, her lips crash into mine in a heated kiss. I let her press her little body against mine. I lif
t her in my arms, spin her around, and press her into the wall, pushing my already hard cock against her. Kyza moans.
“I need you,” she whispers as she kisses along my jaw.
I growl and lower her back down to her feet. I pull her arms from around me. I strip her of her jeans and panties quickly and let my towel hit the floor. I lift her up again, position myself and thrust into her as her legs wrap around me. I’m holding her hip with one hand and her cuffed hands above her head with the other. Each roll of my hips feels like heaven. She was made for me. There is no doubt in my mind, but fuck. How do I make her see that? How do I give her all of me? I don’t know that I can give her all of me, and that’s the part that’s fucking with my head.
“Monster,” she cries out as I hit her even deeper.
I fucking love it. I love hearing her cry out my name. I fuck her harder and harder, her body starts trembling as she starts to come. I come with her and everything just fades away. There’s only us. Her and I, the darkness, and the monsters that live and breathe inside of us.
I rest my head on hers and just breathe in her scent. When I finally pull out of her and let her body slide down mine she looks up at me with those big, shining blue eyes.
Then it hits me.
“Fuck. I didn’t use a condom.”
“I’m on birth control and I’m clean. I’m going to take a shower. Can you take these off me now?”
I nod my head and grab my wallet to pull the key out. I uncuff her, toss the handcuffs to the floor, and rub her wrists in my hands.
“Sorry,” I apologize softly.
“I’m not,” she whispers before pulling away from me and heading to the bathroom.
I walk over to the bed and let out a slow breath. I’m fucked.
Chapter 16
Kyza
I’ve been standing in the bathroom for a long time. I don’t know how long. I’ve showered, but I did something more; I took the dreads out of my hair. It’s not as hard as some people would think. I’ve changed my hair a lot over the years, but now that I’m standing in front of the mirror looking at the girl I haven’t been in so long tears spring to my eyes and I can’t stop them. I can’t move.
