by Erin Trejo
“You okay?” he asks me as they get closer.
I nod my head and wrap my arms around myself as the others take me in. It isn’t that they’ve never seen me before, but I find myself wondering if Monster told them what I did.
“Are you?” I ask him in return.
“I’m good babe. We need to go. Shit might get crazy if we stick around.”
“Head straight back. We’re havin’ church,” the guy I know as Mason says.
Monster nods his head, grabs my hand, and pulls me back to his bike. He climbs on and I get on behind him. I snuggle in close as he revs up the bike, as we’re starting to pull out a car pulls up. The guys don’t seem to pay them any attention, but I turn my head just as we pass and nearly fall off the bike. That can’t be. What the hell would she be doing here? Why? No! That can’t be her.
“You okay?” Monster hollers over his shoulder when I realize just how tense I actually am. I swallow hard knowing that it can’t possibly be her and try to calm myself.
“Yeah. I’m good,” I call back.
The entire ride back to the clubhouse has me on edge. The visions of her are stuck in my head. She looked so much like Annie, but it couldn’t be. Ortega isn’t our last name, and I left them in Louisiana. I try to shake the thoughts from my head, but I can’t. She looked so much like her.
When we pull up into the clubhouse Monster kills the engine and climbs off. He offers me his hand and I take it climbing off next to him. When he goes to remove my helmet I feel his eyes on me.
“You wanna tell me what’s runnin’ through that head of yours?”
“The car we passed leaving Key Largo? The girl in the back reminded me of my sister,” I say softly. Monster pulls me to his chest and runs his hand through my hair.
“Do you hate her?”
“I did at one point. I hated that she was better than me. Well, that’s how it felt at least. She never got treated the way I did.”
“And now?”
“I forgave her a long time ago. She did what she had to do to survive. I can’t blame her for that. She was just trying to stay alive just like I was,” I admit out loud for the first time.
“That’s a heavy weight yeah?”
I pull back and look up at him before I nod.
“It was worth it. You are worth it. If I wasn’t that girl back then, I wouldn’t be standing here with you right now,” I tell him as I watch the corner of his lips twitch.
A smile crosses his face when the guys holler for him.
“We gotta get it there. Come on,” he says tugging me along behind him. He stops just inside the doors and kisses me roughly. He then shoves me towards the bar, with a slap on the ass. I giggle as I walk over and sit down.
“So, you tamed the Monster huh?” Whitley says as I glance over and smile up at her.
“I think he kind of tames me,” I admit.
“He’s a good guy. I haven’t known him as long as the others, but he’s always been a little different. You know? Mason told me it’s the scars, but I don’t even notice them. He’s just Monster to me. Looks don’t make you the person you are.”
Well, damn. I think I just found a whole new reason to like Whitley.
“Shut up Whit. You know if Mason was ugly you wouldn’t have touched him,” Carnie adds as she walks over.
“I thought he was Satan for Christ’s sakes,” Whit laughs.
“You what?” I ask trying to keep up, but finding myself laughing.
“I was into a lot of drugs back then. I was running from a self-appointed counselor. God, she was such a bitch. Anyways, I ran into the alley behind one of the bars and he was there smoking. I totally thought he was Satan. I was high,” she laughs.
“That is funny,” I laugh with her.
“So? You and Monster?” Carnie asks wiggling her eyebrows as she leans against the bar.
“He asked me to stay with him,” I tell them. I don’t know why, but I feel at home with these girls. I feel like I can open up and admit things to them about myself and Monster. Monster has told me many times during our time together that they are very trustworthy. I find myself believing that to be true. I’m comfortable with them, which is very new to me.
“Really? That’s awesome. We could use another girl around here. Some of the club whores are really annoying,” Carnie adds.
“I don’t know what he expects of me,” I tell them taking another long pull.
“To be with him. He sees something in you. That’s why he asked you. He likes you. That much is obvious. I’ve never seen him the way he is with you.”
I watch Whitley as she talks. I can’t believe that they’ve paid that much attention to us.
“What’s it like living here all of the time?”
I change the subject. The two share a look. I don’t know what that was, but Carnie is the one to answer me.
“It’s fun, chaotic, and emotional. You name it and you’re going to feel it. The good times are just that. They are amazing, but times can get hard too. Things were rough when my brother left. Fin was a part of this club,” she says when Whit interrupts her by saying, “Is a part of this club.”
Carnie smiles and nods.
“Is a part of this club, but he and his girlfriend got into a lot of drugs. Her old man was in the club before he got killed. They both kind of spiraled.”
“Are they okay?” Carnie nods as a small smile tugs at the corner of her lips.
“They’re in rehab. He comes by every once in a while. I’m sure you will meet him soon. Aside from that, the parties do get wild. You have to be able to control yourself around these guys. There will be girls that will throw themselves at the guys and shit like that. Club whores that want what you have. You just have to be able to trust your man.”
“How do you handle all of that being pregnant?” Carnie smiles.
“I love Viking. That’s how. I trust that he will be faithful to me. He’s never given me a reason not to trust him.”
“And you?” I ask Whitley.
“It’s me that Mason needs to worry about. Not the other way around,” she laughs. “I kinda have a thing for girls and he sometimes lets me run wild, but he’s always there, so to me it isn’t cheating.” Jesus, I think I love these two.
“I don’t know exactly how Monster feels about me,” I admit. They share a look before they laugh and now I’m even more confused.
“I do,” Whitley says with a smirk.
“How?”
She nods behind me. When I turn to look the heated gaze of Monster’s is locked with mine. Heat courses through my veins as I take him in standing there.
“That’s how.”
The girls laugh again, but I’m trapped in his eyes. The way he looks at me is like nothing I’ve ever felt in my life. He stalks toward me and stops directly in front of me, lifts his hands and grabs my face roughly before he leans down and kisses me. It isn’t just a kiss. It’s a claim. He’s staking his claim in a bruising, powerful kiss that has my heart pounding in my chest and my body is melting inside.
“What are you laughin’ at?” I hear Viking’s voice. Monster pulls back from our kiss and looks to the girls.
“Yeah. What the hell is so funny?” He looks intrigued by their laughter and it makes me smile.
“We were just talking about you Monster.”
My cheeks flush.
“What about me?”
He stiffens. I run my hand up and down his chest. I’m trying to relax him a bit. He’s on edge all of a sudden.
“Just about how much you like her,” Carnie says.
“Oh yeah? And what did you tell her?”
His demeanor changes in a second. He’s calmer now. He’s more comfortable than he was.
“That you have that look in your eyes.”
“What look?” Viking asks.
“He loves her.”
Chapter 21
Monster
Love is a strong word. I’ve only ever used it once before. I don’t eve
n know if you’d consider that love seeing as how I killed the bitch. I look at Kyza and she smiles. It eats at me wondering if what the girls said the other day is true. Do I love her?
“You got your head in your ass?” Mason asks as he sits down next to me.
“No. Just thinkin’ is all. You get anything on the girl Ortega is after?”
Mason shakes his head. The meeting we had with Ortega is wearing thin on me. He was pissed that half of his shipment got busted, but we were pissed at what he was pulling on us. Death is the ultimate ending for him, but for now we play by his rules. Running into his house and killing him and shit ton of armed guards isn’t the best plan, so for now we lay low.
“No. Not much to go on either. The fucker is basically havin’ us chase a ghost. Some chick fucked him over and he wants her back. That’s all he gave us to go on. Protectin’ his family,” Mason says shaking his head.
“What the fuck did she do?”
“She was helpin’ the Feds is what he said. I don’t know how he lost her if he knew that.”
As soon as the words leave his mouth my chest tightens. I look at Kyza. She smiles and runs her hand over Carnie’s stomach, no doubt she’s feeling the baby move. Her eyes are bright and lit up just like they should be.
“He has a kid then?”
“You know that.”
“Only one?”
Mason watches me pull my gaze from Kyza. It doesn’t completely make sense, but some of the pieces fit.
“What the hell are you thinkin’?” Mason asks as Viking and Grinder come to sit with us.
“When we left Ortega’s Kyza said that there was a car pullin’ in and that the girl in the back reminded her of her sister.”
“Kyza has a sister?” Grinder asks as I nod.
“Little younger than her. Her past is fucked up brother. She went through a lot of her own hell. She’s told me stories.”
“And what are you thinkin’? She might be the one Ortega is lookin’ for?” Mason asks narrowing his eyebrows.
“I don’t fuckin’ know. Her last name is Owens not Ortega. Some of what you just said makes sense though. Kyza was with a guy, who ended up being FBI. Dad found out about the traitor being her boyfriend and planned to kill him only she did it first. She also killed a few others that raped her.”
“She what?” Viking roars pulling some attention. Grinder pats his shoulder trying to get him to calm down. “She’s killed before?”
“Yeah. A few times. I don’t know what any of this shit means Viking. She said her family lived in Louisiana. She ran because she knew her dad was gonna kill her.”
Grumbled words move around the table as I take down the rest of my beer. Grinder walks away, but no one says a word about it. We drink for a few more minutes before he returns with a laptop in hand. He sets it on the table in front of us and my stomach drops.
“Gail Owens, married to Matthew Owens. They had two daughters. Guess where they lived?”
Fuck me no. That can’t be. We have fucking orders from him and if we don’t come up with a plan or produce the body of a dead girl, then we could be royally fucked.
I slam my fists on the table in front of me. I keep staring at the screen. It’s the birth certificates of two girls, Annie Diane Owens and Kyza Marie Owens. My stomach churns as it all starts to sink in. I didn’t even notice when Kyza came over until I heard her gasp. I look over my shoulder and she’s looking at me.
“What are you doing?”
“There seems to be a situation you need to know about.” Viking informs her, but her eyes are glued to mine.
“Why do you have those?” She asks pointing at the screen.
“Come here,” I tell her softly.
Kyza moves to stand next to me. She’s watching the screen like it’s a mirage. I can’t say that I blame her. This is news to all of us.
“Why do you have my birth certificate? Didn’t you trust me?” She asks and tenses in my arms.
“It’s not that. You know that. This name. Do you see this name?” I ask pointing to her dad’s name.
“That’s my dad,” she says softly.
“Grinder, pull up Ortega’s information,” I tell him. Kyza looks at me slightly confused until his picture pops up on the screen. Her hand comes up to cover her mouth. She’s stifling the scream that is lodged in her throat.
“How is that him? Our last name is Owens.”
I pull her body onto my lap when Viking speaks, “He took on his new wife’s last name. He took over her world. Did you ever know that?”
It sounds more like an accusation than anything else. I growl low in my throat but Mason just slaps a hand on my shoulder.
“The FBI was looking into him as Owens. This can’t be right. No, no, no,” she mumbles trying to pull herself out of my arms.
“There’s more,” Mason adds. Kyza jerks her head in his direction and waits.
“What the fuck more could there possibly be?”
“He wants us to look for and kill the girl that fucked him over. The girl that was talkin’ to the feds.” Kyza’s body jerks in response. She begins to tremble in my arms.
“He was in Louisiana.”
“They moved their business to Key Largo. It’s closer to her family and his business,” Grinder adds.
“You’re going to kill me for him,” she mumbles before laughter erupts around the table.
“Like fuck we are. Your man has claimed you already. You’re one of us. We protect what’s ours,” Viking says smiling over at us.
Kyza turns to look at me. Confusion is etched across her face.
“You did that?”
“You’re mine Kyza. I’ve waited my entire life for you.”
“You’re keeping me?” she asks tilting her head slightly. I nod my head and pull her back against me.
“I told you that already. I asked you for your permission first, but you didn’t want to play by the rules. You’ve ripped me apart just to rebuild me and I’m not lettin’ that go. You can either go with it, or get the fuck over it, because you’re mine.”
“I can’t stay here,” she says shaking her head. “He’s going to find out.”
“You’re done runnin’ Kyza.”
“Don’t you get it? I’ve run my entire life to avoid this. To avoid him. I might be a killer, but he has a whole shit load of killers at his fingertips.”
She pulls out of my grip and steps back away from me. I growl as I stand and counter her every step.
“Fuckin’ listen to yourself. You’ve hid. Tried bein’ someone you’re not. For what? You scared Kyza?”
I like pushing her. I like seeing her on the edge of her sanity.
“Don’t you fucking dare,” she hisses as she lifts her eyes up to meet mine.
“Are you scared? Are you fuckin’ weak like they always told you that you were?”
And, there she is.
There’s the monster that I knew was in there. She’s a fighter. Her eyes flash before me as she raises her fists. She throws a punch at me that I’m not ready for. It collides with my eye and when she tries for another one I grab her wrist.
“Fuck you Monster! I’m not weak. I will never be weak again. You want me to go back to being Kyza? You want the girl that liked to kill? You want me to accept the dark parts of me? Fine. Then this is me accepting it. But I will tell you for sure that I will kill him before he ever gets another chance at me.”
She spins on her heel and walks away from me down the hallway. Carnie and Whit both move to follow her. I don’t know if that’s a good thing or not, but when I turn back to look at the guys, they’re all looking at me with raised eyebrows.
“What?”
“You’ve met your fuckin’ match there,” Viking says as he points down the hallway.
I grunt and grab my beer before answering, “No shit.”
“What are you gonna do now?” Grinder asks.
“Make a plan. She’s one of us. We protect what’s ours. Even if that little hellion m
ight make a move first,” Mason adds with a chuckle.
“Heard that,” Viking says raising his own beer in salute.
“I’ll talk to her. We need a plan though. I’m not lettin’ that motherfucker anywhere near her,” I remind them.
“Shit no, I’ve got to call the other chapters. I want any information they have on that fucker and to know what the issue is. I have no problems puttin’ that motherfucker to ground,” Viking says.
“Heard that. I’m goin’ to go talk to her. Figure somethin’ out and let me know yeah?”
The guys nod as I finish my beer and head down the hall.
Chapter 22
Kyza
I worked so hard at staying hidden. I changed everything about myself. I tried to be who I wasn’t just to make sure that I could stay under the radar. I can’t believe that he was here the whole time I’ve been here. We weren’t in the same city, but we are in the same state and that makes me cringe. He could have found me so easily.
I shake my head and try to rid myself of those thoughts. The only thing they are going to do is hold me down. I can’t have that.
Monster talked to me before he fell asleep. He said that they were going to come up with a plan, but this isn’t his problem. This is my problem. I did what I did then I ran. I created this problem with Ryan. It’s up to me to try to fix this. My heart wouldn’t handle it if anything happened to any of the guys or they got hurt because of me. It isn’t fair for them to fight my battles.
I run my fingers over the scars on Monster’s side. He doesn’t stir or wake up. I smile as I watch his breathing. It’s so even. So strong. His chest just keeps rising and falling.
“If anyone in this world could possibly understand me, it’s you. I don’t know how the hell you do it Monster,” I whisper.
In my mind I know what I have to do, but in my heart I don’t want to leave him. He’s had so much pain in his life already. He has me now and that’s hard for me to admit, but that doesn’t mean I can stay here and pull him down with me. My dad is influential. He has pull everywhere and I think that’s a fact he’s proven time and again.
