by Nikki Ash
Chapter Twenty-Five
Charlie
When I told Tristan about Georgia, he handled it with such grace and compassion. I shouldn’t be surprised, though. That’s the kind of guy he is. He assured me, just as my therapist has done, it was an accident, but he didn’t try to belittle my feelings of guilt. He allowed me to feel what I feel, understanding I will always in some way feel responsible for the death of my baby girl.
And then when he asked about her, wanting to know the good, I knew in that moment one day I would love this man—I was already halfway there. We spent the rest of the night getting to know one another. I kept it positive, only sharing stories of Georgia and me, keeping Justin out of it completely. To get into the physical and emotional abuse he put me through…I just couldn’t handle it. Telling him about Georgia had already taken so much out of me.
When I started to fall asleep in Tristan’s arms, listening to the waves crash, we reluctantly called it a night. The last couple days he’s sent me several text messages asking how I’m doing, how my day is going, and sending me funny as well as sexy pictures of him. I think he’s trying to give me some space after the emotionally draining night we had, while still letting me know he’s here. Once again, he knows exactly what I need.
It’s now Sunday and my phone is ringing. I grab it and see it’s Tristan, only he’s facetiming me. I also see that it’s already the afternoon. The Halloween party was crazy busy last night and I didn’t stumble in until almost five o’clock this morning.
“Hello,” I say, rolling over to my side. The video connects and Lexi’s bright smile graces the screen. I pull my blanket up making sure I’m appropriate.
“Charlie! You’re awake!” She giggles. I hear Tristan yelling something in the background and Lexi rolls her eyes.
“I am, sweet girl. Does your dad know you’re calling me?”
“Nope! But I was videoing with my best friend and cousin, Micaela, so we could show each other our costumes and then I saw your picture! Are you coming trick-or-treating with me?” Her big blue eyes plead and I’m a goner.
“Lexi! Tell Micaela you’ll call her later. We need to go pick up your bag for candy and get dinner.” Tristan steps into view, looking confused when he sees it’s me on the phone and not his daughter’s cousin. “Go get your shoes on.”
There’s shuffling with the phone and then it’s only Tristan on the screen. “Charlie?”
“Hello.” I smile at him.
“Are you in bed?” he whispers, his eyes darting around him to make sure Lexi can’t hear.
“I am.” I shift my body, the blanket falling slightly to reveal my tiny tank top.
He groans. “Jesus, woman. I’m taking Lexi trick-or-treating. How about I pick you up afterward and we can hang out at my place once she goes to bed?” He waggles his eyebrows and I giggle at his playfulness, but then when I realize what he means, that he doesn’t want me going trick-or-treating with them, my heart sinks. Maybe he’s concerned about the welfare of his daughter after all, and who can blame him? Accident or not, my daughter was killed under my supervision.
“Hey,” he says, snapping me from my thoughts. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.” I shake my head. “That sounds good. Just text me when you’re on your way.” Just then Lexi comes running back into view.
“Is she coming, Daddy? Is Charlie coming with us?” I see Tristan’s brows furrow before he turns away from the camera.
“No, sweetie. It’s going to be you and me. Mason is out of town for press stuff for his upcoming fight, and Morgan is out of town for the weekend for a fashion show.”
“But what about Charlie?” she asks when he doesn’t give an excuse for me.
Not wanting to listen to whatever excuse he’s going to make up, I speak up. “Tristan, I have to go, I have a call coming in.” I hit the end button and throw my phone down. It lands on the end of the bed, and I snuggle back up in my blankets and close my eyes, hoping to fall back asleep.
My heart feels like it’s being squeezed and my mind can’t stop thinking about Tristan pushing me away. I know he said he trusts me around her. He insisted what happened to Georgia was an accident. He was so sweet and sympathetic the entire time I told him the little bit of details I knew. I just don’t get why all of a sudden he seems to be having a change of heart.
“Isn’t this what I wanted?” I think to myself. Since the day I met the two of them I pushed them away, so shouldn’t I be relieved at this turn of events? No, I decide, I’m not. Because the second Tristan knew the truth about my daughter and didn’t judge or blame me, I felt like a bit of weight was lifted off of me. I felt hopeful we could have a real chance at something good, something real. I wouldn’t have to hide my sadness when memories surfaced regarding Georgia. I could be open and honest and Tristan would be understanding.
My phone rings and I ignore it. When it rings a second time, I throw my blanket off me and grab the phone. It stops ringing but immediately picks back up again. Tristan. Knowing he’ll keep calling until I pick up, I answer, making sure to sound cheerful. Since we aren’t video chatting, it makes it easier to hide my disappointment about him not wanting me to join them.
“Hello.”
“I’m sorry.” Tristan sighs.
“For what?” I ask, unsure what exactly he’s apologizing for.
“For Lexi calling and asking you to go trick-or-treating.” He’s apologizing for her inviting me? What the heck?
“Why would you apologize for that?” I ask, confused.
His voice lowers several octaves. “Now that I know about your loss… about Georgia… I understand why you didn’t want to join us at the painting contest.”
“That was only because that day was Georgia’s birthday. Do you not want me to join you guys? If you’ve changed your mind about wanting me in Lexi’s life, I completely understand—”
“Whoa! Stop. Of course I want you in our life. I meant what I said the other night. I trust you one hundred percent with my daughter. I just figured it would be hard on you. Your first Halloween without her…”
Oh my goodness. This man. I don’t deserve his compassion. He wasn’t trying to protect his daughter from me. He was trying to protect my heart. “I thought you didn’t want me to go,” I murmur.
“Of course, I want you to go. Do you have any idea how hard it’s been staying away from you these last couple days? I was trying to give you some breathing room. I know shit got heavy. I was afraid too much too soon would have you running.”
“I don’t want breathing room,” I blurt out. “I love being around you and Lexi. When I thought you didn’t want me to go with you guys, I could feel my heart starting to break. Yes, it’s hard knowing I’ll never see my daughter experiencing these moments, but knowing you get it, makes it that much easier.”
I hear Tristan release a deep breath. “We’ll be to your place in thirty minutes to pick you up…and Charlie…”
“Yeah?”
“Your heart is safe with me. Never doubt that again.”
Tristan and Lexi pick me up and we head to the store to pick her up a bag to hold her candy. Then we go to a local pizza parlor for an early dinner. After we’ve successfully devoured an entire pie, Tristan hands Lexi a bag. “Okay, let’s go to the bathroom so you can get changed.”
“Can Charlie take me into the girls’ bathroom?”
Tristan gives me a look asking if I’m okay with that. “Of course, I can,” I say, not wanting to say no to Lexi. She’s too young to understand why I’m so reluctant to be alone with her. “Please stay right outside,” I whisper to Tristan and he nods knowingly. I know if I want to be a part of their life long-term there are going to be times I’m alone with Lexi, but for now I need to take it one day at a time. Knowing Tristan is right outside, God forbid something happens, is comforting.
“Okay, sweet girl. Let’s do this.” Lexi closes the stall door behind her, leaving me in the main area while she takes off her clothes, and m
y heart picks up over the fact I can no longer see her. I know it’s ridiculous. She’s in a stall, two feet away, with walls on both sides, but those facts don’t stop my brain from conjuring up worst case scenarios.
“Lexi, you okay?”
“Yep! I’m going to the bathroom so I don’t have to go while we’re trick-or-treating.” Smart girl. I hear the toilet flush and then she says, “Can you throw me over my costume?” I take deep breaths in and out once I hear her voice. I pull her costume out of the bag and throw it over the top, holding onto it until I feel her tug on it. A minute later, the lock clicks and she steps out, looking like the cute little artist she is.
“Ta-da!” She raises her left arm striking a pose.
“Beautiful!” I gush, pushing back the memories of the last time I was with Georgia on Halloween. I would never consider Lexi a replacement or a fill-in for Georgia, but standing here, staring at this sweet girl, I feel like maybe she was brought into my life for a reason. For the last several months I’ve felt like I was stuck frozen in place, not living, and then Tristan and Lexi entered my world, and it’s as if they breathed life back into my lungs.
I grab her clothes, fold them, and put them into the bag while Lexi washes and dries her hands. When we exit the bathroom, Tristan is standing against the wall in the hallway messing with his phone. When he hears the door open, he looks up, smiling. “There’s my little artist. You ready to rock-n-roll?”
“Yep!” Lexi skips toward the front of the restaurant and we follow behind her. Tristan puts Lexi into her seat in his truck and shuts the door. Just as I’m about to get in, he stops me, his hands holding my shoulders back, his front so close to my back I can feel his cool breath.
“I’m proud of you, Charlie. I know going in there with her was hard, but you did it, and nothing happened.” He leans in closer and gives me a kiss on my cheek. “If, at any time, you need me today, just let me know. We’ll get through this together. Okay?” I simply nod, the lump in my throat preventing me from speaking. He has no idea how much those words mean to me…or maybe he does.
We pull up to a neighborhood that looks familiar and Tristan parks along the grass where other cars are parking. “Are we near Larchmont?” I ask.
“Yeah, only a couple neighborhoods over. A lot of parents take their kids trick-or-treating here because the homes are close together and the owners all sit outside so the kids don’t have to go all the way up to their door. Plus, they always go all out decorating for the different holidays. You should see the place during Christmas.”
Lexi joins the conversation. “Daddy and I walk around to see all the lights!” I look around and notice all the houses are decorated for Halloween. Orange, black, and white lights. Blown-up Halloween-themed characters littering the lawns. There’s music playing and tons of people are already walking from house to house while others are sitting in chairs giving out candy.
We get out of the truck and head toward the street closest to us. It’s just hitting six o’clock and starting to get dark. Kids are everywhere in costumes with their parents following them. When we get to the first house, Tristan stops Lexi and kneels so he’s at her level. “Make sure you say thank you even if they give you something you don’t like, like raisins, and come back to me after every house. Got it?” Lexi nods then skips over to the first house, Tristan and me trailing closely behind her.
“Trick-or-Treat!” she exclaims, holding her bag out, and the woman holding the candy, drops a few pieces in.
“Look at you!” she gushes. “Aren’t you just the cutest little artist!”
“Thank you,” Lexi says. “And thank you for the candy!” She closes her bag and runs back over to us. “I got a Hershey bar! And a KitKat!” Her excitement is infectious.
“Score!” Tristan says. “Now, you know half of whatever you get is mine, right?” he adds seriously.
Lexi’s head pops up. “What? Why?”
“It’s called parent tax, kid. I brought you here, I get half.” He shrugs, holding back his grin.
“I don’t know what tax is, but I don’t think I like it very much.” Lexi pulls her bag close to her chest, and I laugh.
“Oh my God, Tristan. Tell her you’re joking!” I push his shoulder and he finally laughs. He grabs my hand and pulls me toward him, spinning me around in front of him, my back hitting his front. He wraps his arms around my torso, and whispers, “Quiet. I’m trying to snag us some candy.” He gives me a soft kiss on my neck, his lips warm against my chilled skin. I sink back into him, loving the feel of him touching me. A woman could get used to this kind of attention.
Tristan releases me but grabs my hand pulling me along. “C’mon, Lex. Let’s go get us some candy.” He winks at her and she rolls her eyes.
We walk up and down each street as Lexi gets candy from each person sitting at the end of their driveway. She says thank you each time, then runs up to us letting us know what she got.
“That scary man with the mask gave me a Butterfinger!” Lexi’s face lights up.
“Yum!” Tristan replies before Lexi takes off in front of us heading toward the next house. Tristan yells to slow down, but Lexi either ignores him or doesn’t hear him because she keeps going. It all happens so quickly. One second Lexi is skipping down the sidewalk, her bag swinging back and forth, and the next second a car is backing out of the driveway. Lexi stops, frozen in shock.
“Lexi!” I scream, letting go of Tristan’s hand. We’re only a couple feet behind her, and I reach her within seconds, pushing her out of the way just as the car’s back bumper hits the side of my body.
Eleven months ago
Beep.
Beep.
Beep.
Beep.
I hear the noise before my eyes open. What is that beeping noise? I open my eyes and a migraine immediately hits me. My head is pounding and my eyes squeeze shut in an attempt to block out the pain.
Beep.
Beep.
Beep.
“Oh dear, I’ll dispense some more pain medication.” Slowly, I pry my lids open so I can see who’s speaking to me. It’s a woman with silver hair pulled up into a high bun, most likely in her sixties. She’s wearing scrubs, so she must be a nurse.
I try to speak but my throat is too dry. “Water, please,” I choke out. She gives me a kind smile and pours me a small cup of water. She presses the button on the wall and the top half of the bed moves upward until I’m in a full-sitting position. I take the cup from her and close my eyes once more, needing some relief from the pounding in my head.
“Your headache should be improving shortly. If you feel any pain in the future you can press the button right here”—I open one eye to see where she’s pointing to—“and it will push some more medication through your IV.”
“Thank you.”
She smiles. “The doctor will be in to see you shortly.”
I nod my understanding, but really, I don’t understand anything. I have no clue why I’m here. Then it hits me… where’s Georgia?
“Charlotte.” Justin walks through the door with another gentleman who’s in a suit with a white coat. “This is Dr. Hutchins. How are you feeling?”
“Where’s Georgia?” I ask in panic.
Justin glares at me, but it quickly morphs into a sympathetic frown. When the hell has he ever had sympathy?
“Charlotte, it seems you blacked out and took a nasty fall, hitting the table. You have a pretty bad black eye, and you were brought in here for a concussion. What can you remember?” the doctor asks. I try to recall what he’s talking about, but everything is fuzzy.
“What’s today?” I ask, trying to put the pieces together.
“Wednesday, November 24th,” Justin answers. This doesn’t make any sense. The last day I remember is Friday. I was making dinner for Georgia and me. I was going through all of our stuff in preparation to leave…
“Where’s Georgia?” I demand. Justin glances at the doctor who appears to be uncomfortable.
�
��Mike, why don’t you give me some time alone with my wife?” The doctor—who Justin is apparently on a first name basis with—nods and walks out without saying another word. Once the door closes, Justin comes over and sits on the edge of the bed.
“What do you remember?” Justin asks slowly.
“Nothing! I don’t remember anything!” I start to panic while he almost looks…relieved?
“When you blacked out, Georgia wandered out and was hit by a car. I shouldn’t have left her with you…” He shakes his head. “I knew you were unstable.” Unstable? What the hell is he talking about?
“What do you mean she was hit by a car?” I need to get out of this bed. I need to go to my daughter! “Where is she?” I throw the sheets off me and start pulling at the IV in my arm.
“Charlotte, calm down,” Justin demands.
“Calm down? Calm down? My baby was hit by a car! I need to get to her!” I stand, ignoring the searing pain radiating through my brain that feels like nails stabbing me in the forehead and in my eyes.
Justin beats me to the door and calls out, “Mike.” The doctor walks back in and Justin says, “She needs to be sedated.” The doctor nods, and I back up. What the hell is going on here?
“I don’t need anything! I need to get to my daughter!”
“Charlotte.” Justin says my name and I want to punch him in the face. I attempt to step around him but I’m stopped by the two men. They grab my arms and the doctor injects something into my neck.
“Charlotte,” Justin repeats, his voice devoid of all emotion. “You can’t go to Georgia because she’s dead. You killed our daughter.”
Chapter Twenty-Six
Tristan
It all happened in slow motion yet so damn fast. One minute, Charlie’s hand is in mine as Lexi skips along the sidewalk in front of us. The next minute, Charlie is pushing my daughter out of the way from the car backing up. Lexi falls onto her knees on the sidewalk as Charlie’s body gets pushed sideways by the car, her body falling limp, half on the driveway and half in the grass. I make it to the car only seconds after Charlie, pounding on the trunk to get the driver’s attention. It works and the car comes to an abrupt stop. I grab hold of Lexi and sit her down in the grass, and then lift Charlie up carefully and bring her into the grass, sitting us down with her in my lap.
