by Lexi Blake
“I missed you, too,” she admitted. “So they’re all going to come here and stay at Seth’s place?”
He’d told her Taggart’s plan while they’d driven back to the cabin. He hadn’t wanted to stay at the festival. He wanted to be alone with her, wanted to be honest with her. He didn’t want to sit on this or tell her in the morning. “Yes, and I’ll let you read the file I have on them. Tag calls them the Lost Boys. They have no memory of their prior lives due to being experimented on.”
“And they’re coming here to look for a CIA black site?” There was so much judgment in that question. “On national forest land.”
“Yes. But I didn’t start it and I never worked there. It was another department,” he said quickly. “That doesn’t make it right. But baby, it’s closed down now and if you protested it, you would probably get arrested and sent to somewhere that would be hard for me to get you out of.”
“But you could…”
“I would move heaven and earth, but let’s protest after the boys get the data they need.”
“Of course. They’ve been through enough,” she replied. “They’re getting in soon?”
“A couple of days from now.” He’d told Tag that they were welcome in Bliss, but he wouldn’t lie to his wife. “Seth’s cleared it. He, Logan, and Georgia aren’t planning on coming back until the holidays. I think the op itself will be a week or two tops. And, my love, it’s classified. They have to have cover. We’re looping in law enforcement, but around town they’ll have to maintain cover.”
“I don’t like lying.” She was quiet for a moment. “I’ll avoid town for a while. I don’t feel like interpretive dance right now.”
It was how she protested lies and being asked to lie. She danced. She was such a gorgeous weirdo, and he loved her with his whole heart. “I’m sorry. I can tell them not to come.”
She shook her head. “No. I understand the need. There have to be all kinds of intelligence agencies after those poor men.”
“Yes, starting with our own.” He had to think about how to reach out. Apparently someone had come looking for him. “But the good news is I don’t think we have to worry about the cartel.”
A prim look came over her face. “Because you killed them all, Henry.”
“That was self-defense.” He wouldn’t have been able to win their hearts and minds through careful dialogue. “I need you to tell me if you want me to defend myself. If I have to choose between your love and respect and my life…”
Her eyes rolled. “Don’t be dramatic. Of course you should defend yourself. I would defend myself. It’s just—it was a lot, wasn’t it? You’re sure you didn’t accidently kill someone who was like a janitor?”
“I promise I left the janitor perfectly alive. I only killed people who tried to kill me.” And unfortunately he’d let one get away. Levi Green could still be dangerous to all of them, but he thought the threat from the cartel might be gone.
“All right.” She went quiet for a moment. “I’m going to be honest. I know you want my answer right this second.”
Not if the answer was get out of our cabin and out of my life. “No. I want your answer when you’re ready to give it to me.”
Tears filled his wife’s eyes. “I think I’m going about this wrong. Mel accused me of treating this like one of my books.”
“Mel knows about the books?” That was news to him.
“Yes. Apparently Mel knows a whole lot about everything. He says he knew about you back when we first got together.”
He doubted that. He was really good at undercover. He probably could have been an actor. But that wasn’t the important thing now. And honestly, her work might be part of the problem. Or rather her lack of work. “What does he mean you’re acting like this is a book? I know how serious this is for you.”
“He said I might be looking at this whole thing like a romance novel where one specific thing happens and there’s a resolution. He might have said that’s not how a real relationship works. I mean it does sometimes, but that’s not the end of the story. We’re not just happy forever. We have to work, and I haven’t been working lately.”
“You don’t have to work for our relationship. I do. I’ll do all the work I need to do,” he promised.
She shook her head. “We both need to work. I said I needed time to think, but that hasn’t helped. I don’t know that I can trust you again. I don’t know that I can go back to the way we were.”
His heart constricted. He had no idea what he would do without her. “Nell…”
“So we need to find a new normal,” she continued. “I think we should keep living together and sleeping together and being together, at least until I have this baby. That should give me enough time to decide if I want to continue with the marriage. But I have some rules.”
That was months away, and he could work some magic in those months. He could convince her. “Yes.”
She stopped. “You don’t want to hear them?”
“I don’t need to. I’ll do anything to keep you. I’ll do anything for another chance.”
“You can’t lie to me again. Not about anything.” She frowned. “Well, not anything important. You should tell me I look pretty even when I’m as big as a whale.”
He moved in, closing the space between them. “You are always beautiful to me.”
The tears started to fall and he knew she was softening. That was his wife. She couldn’t hold out forever, and if he was in her bed, he would be back in her heart in no time at all. But he would pay any price she wanted. There was no question he’d done the wrong thing. He wasn’t sure he would take it back because he’d needed her to love him, to accept him.
Or maybe he should have had more faith in her.
“You have to be yourself in front of me, and not only behind my back,” she continued.
Another step and he could almost reach out and touch her. His cock tightened because he’d missed her every moment they’d been apart. “You might not like that part. I’m ridiculously territorial when it comes to you, and I hide that well. You joke about my possessiveness, but you haven’t truly seen it yet. And don’t tell me it’s about not trusting you. I trust you. I could catch you in bed naked with another man and I would ask you what happened and believe what you told me. But you are my treasure. You are the one thing in this whole world I’ve loved with my whole being. I am a dragon hoarding your every smile.” He reached out and brushed her tears away. “Your every tear.”
She sniffled. “See. I should point out that you can’t own a woman, but I just want you to kiss me now.”
He pulled her into his arms, the curve of her belly nestling against his torso and making him want to strip her down and see every change the pregnancy had wrought in the weeks they’d been apart. “Baby, I’m a caveman at heart. I love you so much and I won’t ever hold you back, but deep in every man’s heart when he truly loves a woman he’s possessive. It’s all about how we handle that instinct. So I’ll play it however you like. What are the other rules?”
He would agree to them all.
“I think we should go into counseling.”
He could do that. “Okay.”
“Alexei is working on his degree and he’s got time.”
Alexei Markov as a marriage counselor? It was going to be surreal, but a former Russian mobster was better than Crazy Irene, who would likely force them into sage rituals to cleanse their marriage. “Of course. It would help him, too.”
“Irene tells me there’s a ritual to help cleanse all bad vibes.”
He managed to not wince. When he’d married Nell, he’d accepted the different people she brought into their lives. So different. “Absolutely.”
“You have to talk to me about things. You have to trust that I’ll handle your secrets,” she continued.
“I’ll tell you anything you want to know.”
Her mouth went prim. “I think I shouldn’t be the only one who has body modifications in order to sexually plea
se my partner.”
“It’s about more than sex,” he started and then realized what she was really saying. “You want a mark on me because they’re my marks on you. All right. I’ll talk to Austin about getting a tattoo. Anywhere you like.”
“I want you to get a Prince Albert.”
She wanted him to pierce his dick? He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. It wasn’t that he was against the idea of something on his body that let Nell know he was thinking of her.
His dick was always thinking of her. Always.
“Oh, Nell, I love those nipple rings. I love how I can twist them and play with them,” she taunted. “I pierced my vagina for you.”
No, she’d pierced her hood. That had very little feeling in it. Still, he said he’d do anything. “I’ll set it up with Austin.” But as long as they were doing painful things. “I have one condition.”
A brow rose over her eyes. “What’s that?”
This was a gamble, but one he had to take. “You have to write. You haven’t written in months, and I think that’s part of the problem.”
“I haven’t felt like it,” she admitted. “You know sometimes I get blocked.”
“I don’t think you’re blocked. I think you’re avoiding it because writing is how you process the things that happen to you. I want you to write whatever comes to you. Not the next book in the series. Don’t worry about money or readers or anything. Just write and let it all out. That’s my only request.”
“Okay, but I can’t promise you it will be good.” She looked up at him. “I did miss you.”
It suddenly didn’t matter that his dick was going to go through hell. He leaned over and picked up his wife. “Let me show you how much I missed you.”
He carried her to the bed and vowed he would be right beside her no matter what.
Chapter Nine
Late September
Nell sat on her front porch, a thousand thoughts running through her head. Normally she would sit on the back porch and watch the river flow by at this time of the afternoon. In a bit she would go and start dinner. This was the lovely time when she and Henry would sit and talk about the day.
Henry had spent most of the day at Seth’s with all his new friends, and she couldn’t even drink. She’d seen him in the morning and he’d been all peppy and eager. He’d barely downed a piece of toast and a half a cup of coffee before he was running out the door and going to Seth’s for what he called a “debrief” on yesterday’s debacle at Mountain Adventures.
She sighed. At least River knew what her new clients were looking for now. That was one lie out of the way.
Even when Henry had come home, he’d gone straight to his computer because he was certain there was an Agency “plant”—as he’d put it—somewhere in Bliss.
So here she was sitting alone and thinking. Had she made a terrible mistake? Should she have told him to get out and stay out?
It kind of hurt to see him so content when she was so…restless.
She’d spent the last two weeks doing exactly what she’d promised. She’d welcomed Henry into their bed. They’d made love most nights, and the nights they didn’t, he’d told her stories about his time with the Agency. He’d prompted her to talk about her mom more. He’d give her an Agency story if she told him one from her childhood.
Yeah, that made her restless, too.
Off in the distance she heard the sound of shouting, but that wasn’t surprising these days. Those men who’d been experimented on seemed determined to play out some sort of second adolescence. They played pranks on each other most days, and they were far too invested in their own bodily functions.
“Hey, sorry. I looked for you on the back porch.” Henry stepped out and had a mug of tea in his hand.
“I wanted to change it up a bit.” She kept her eyes on the lawn.
He sighed as he sank into the chair beside her. “I’m sorry I worked all day.”
She had to be patient with him. “There’s nothing to be sorry about. I worked all day, too.”
“But we usually work together. We have a routine to our days, and I’ve screwed that up. I’m not trying to. I can tell Ian that I need to be here.”
Ian Taggart was an overly large man who’d apparently been Henry’s student at one point. He’d obviously learned how to kill people, how to run a mission, and how to speak sarcasm. Though she would admit the man had a certain amount of charm, and he’d managed to choke down the black bean burger she’d served him the night he and Henry had sat up and talked about the old days.
“I know you’re trying to help those men. I get it. I’m fine.”
“It won’t be long now. They’re going to go into the woods soon, and then I’m out of it,” Henry promised.
There was more shouting from somewhere beyond the cabin.
Would he truly be out of it? “I thought you were going to have to talk to the Agency at some point.”
“I think if they were going to arrest me, they would have done it by now,” he said with a confidence she didn’t feel. He turned her way. “What do you think of Heather Turner? She moves well, right?”
He’d been watching how the gorgeous blonde moved? “Well, I suppose she could be a model.”
He frowned her way. “Or an Agency plant. Love, I wasn’t talking about her level of sex appeal. I was talking about the fact that she moves very fluidly. And she doesn’t make a lot of sound. Have you ever noticed that? And she’s weirdly absent whenever Ian or Ezra are around. Not the boys. She’s cool around them, but then the boys wouldn’t know her even if they’d met her before. I haven’t said anything yet, but I think I’ll talk to Ian about it tomorrow.”
“Okay.” What was going on over at Seth’s? Was that smoke?
“How about we watch a movie tonight? There’s a new documentary about water pollution,” he offered.
“Sure.” So she would know that her daughter or son wouldn’t be able to find clean water.
“I’m trying here, Nell,” he said with a sigh.
“I know.”
She gasped as a man ran by, sprinting as fast as he could. Tucker. She thought that man was Tucker.
Henry was on his feet in a second and down off the steps. “Get inside, Nell.”
Her heart started to race because something bad was about to happen. Had the Agency come for them all? Was it the cartel Henry thought he’d gotten out from under? All she knew was Tucker was terrified.
And then she saw the small creature racing across the yard. A badger chased after Tucker, all claws and teeth. That small animal was the definition of irritation.
Outrage sparked through her as Tucker managed to turn and run the other way.
“Did you smoke that badger out of her hole?” Nell asked, her hands on her hips.
“I’m sorry. It was a prank,” Tucker yelled. “I didn’t think it would chase me. Sasha said it would be okay.”
Sasha was standing at the edge of the property line, laughing his ass off.
Yeah, she wasn’t happy with Sasha either. “Okay to smoke a poor animal out of its home?”
“How long will it chase me?” Tucker asked, still running.
She expected Henry to go to the young man’s aid.
Instead, he shook his head. “At least a mile or so. If she catches you, she’ll probably take a toe or two. You should keep running. And take another way to come back because she will remember you. She’ll lie in wait for you. You know what they say.”
“No, I don’t,” Tucker said with a little cry as he tried to avoid the badger’s claws. “I don’t know anything.”
“Badger never forgets,” Henry said. “Good luck.”
“Come on, Henry,” Tucker pleaded.
“Nope. You poked the badger. You get the badger. I’ve been that badger and I would bite your ass, too.” Henry settled back into his chair.
“You’re really not going to help him?” It was surprising.
“I’ll help the badger,” Henry admitted. “Po
or thing was probably taking a nap and that asshole thought it would be fun to smoke him out. Well, who’s having fun now?”
“Not me!” Tucker took off, running by the river now.
“Go, Badger, go!” Henry yelled. “Little asshole. We’re going to teach our kid not to be a dumbass.”
She smiled his way. “Yes. Yes, we will.” She sat back. “Maybe we could watch a comedy.”
It would be good to laugh.
Henry reached for her hand. “That sounds fun.”
Another man ran by. Robert. “I’m coming, Tucker!”
“Or we can watch them instead,” she said, flipping her hand over to slide her fingers between his. “What do you think will happen when they see Maurice? He was down river a little while ago.”
“What the fuck is that?” Tucker screamed.
Henry’s lips quirked up. “And he’s still there. Yeah, this should be fun.”
Henry’s hand tightened around hers, gently pulling her toward him. She found herself sitting on his lap and couldn’t argue with him. It felt too good. When his hand came over her belly, she sat back and waited for the world to entertain her.
* * * *
“How does this be making you feel?” Alexei Markov sat back in the office he shared with Caleb in the pretty cabin they’d built the year before.
“It made me feel like Henry was going to kill someone,” Nell replied primly. “And right in the middle of the festival.”
Henry bit back a groan. What had happened at the Festival of Spiritual Rejuvenation was inevitable the minute Nell had demanded he not hide his instincts anymore. “I wasn’t going to kill him.”
“Good, Henry, this is good.” Alexei had a notepad in front of him. “You were only going to hurt man who touches her belly. See, this is progress. I have same impulses. Man touches my woman and I wish to kill, too.”
Nell frowned his way. “You told that man if he didn’t take his hands off me you would pull his bowels out and wrap them around his throat. That would kill him, Henry.”
