She lost herself in him.
She screamed in satisfaction as he brought her over the edge with him not trailing far behind. In that moment, she didn’t know how she was ever going to live without him. He was her best friend and now her lover, and on some cosmic level it felt like maybe…just maybe, they were meant for each other. Soul mates. The stark reality that he was leaving tomorrow had her doubting her previous thought.
Which brought the thought of telling him about her pregnancy out of college more of a reality. Exhausted, they lay side-by-side and she knew now was the only opportunity she would get.
“Logan, I have to tell you something. It’s important and I know I should’ve told you sooner.”
“What?” his voice was weary.
“You know how I’ve avoided sex almost all of my life and how I fear winding up like my mom and all?”
“Which you never will, I promise.” Oh, bless his heart—even when she was about to sucker punch him with distrust, he was still sticking up for her.
“That’s all true. I just…well, okay. Here it goes,” she let out a deep breath and began. “I got pregnant our last semester of college and I never told you. Or anyone because I was ashamed and embarrassed. I was all set to have an abortion—another thing I thought you might judge me about—but then, the night before the abortion I woke up and had terrible pains and I had had a miscarriage.” She turned to see what he was thinking, if she could read any emotion on his face.
He was silent, staring at the ceiling.
“Say something,” she urged.
His voice held a bite to it. “I can’t believe you thought I would judge you, Gabriella.”
“What was I supposed to think? I was twenty-two, Logan. It was hard. Especially since I was going to have an abortion. I know some people don’t believe in that. Are you mad at me?”
Logan finally turned toward her and the deep creases in his forehead answered her question. “We were really good friends at that time. So yeah, I’m mad. I’m baffled that you didn’t trust me enough to tell me. But you trust me enough now? Well, at least enough to fuck me, right? That I wouldn’t be the one to get you pregnant. Who was it, by the way? Someone I knew or someone you were sleeping with secretly?”
She didn’t like making him upset. Or hurt. “Don’t insinuate that I slept with more people than you knew about! You’re being mean by saying that. It was Jed, okay? The last guy I ever slept with before you. And you know what else?” He stared at her, waiting. “You and I don’t just fuck, okay?”
He laughed without humor. “What do you think we’ve been doing? Making love?”
Yes. She didn’t say it, but she knew he could read her answer all over her face.
“No, Gabriella. Don’t go there, don’t even think about it. I leave tomorrow and you just dropped a bombshell of shit on me. In fact, I should probably just go tonight.”
He started to get up, but she stopped him by crawling over on top of him. “Please don’t leave me. Not like this. You have every right to be mad and I’m sorry I didn’t tell you when I was going through it. I was scared you would think badly about me and I couldn’t bear the thought of that. Look, I know you’re mad, but please just stay the rest of the night with me. This is all we have. Tonight is all we have.” She swallowed the lump in her throat, hoping he wouldn’t find this as the perfect time to read her thoughts.
She watched him contemplate if he should leave or stay. Thank God, a part of him was still thinking he should stay. She would take that. Realizing she was straddling him, completely naked, she could feel the ridged outline of his cock against her bottom.
She looked down between her spread legs.
“No, Gabbie. That’s just…I can’t control that, okay? I’m still mad you didn’t trust me enough to tell me. God, this fucking explains a lot of things about you, you know?” he said sarcastically. “You thinking you would be like your mom. Your aversion to sex and the whole trust thing about not getting pregnant. This isn’t over. I want to stay the rest of the night. I want to savor our last night together without a fight. As mad as you’re making me right now, there is nowhere I would rather be.”
Gabriella was thankful for that. She did the only thing she could think to do that might help ease his anger. She grabbed another condom and rolled it on his erection. Then, she lifted herself, so she was kneeling above him and in one swift movement, he was buried deep inside her, and she was riding him like she had never ridden any man before.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Logan had been gone for approximately twenty-three days and counting. She’d spoken to him twice since he’d left—too busy, he’d complained—to call her more than that. And he was probably still hurt. Even though he would never admit more than he had, she surmised he was still bent about being left out in the cold. Then, even when they did talk, it was short, sweet and a little awkward because she wanted to tell him so many things.
She wanted to dissect their non-relationship relationship, wanted to know what his feelings about her were, wanted to ask him if he missed her as much as she missed him. She’d been so worried about what he would think about her big secret; once she told him he hadn’t even seemed surprised she had wound up pregnant—just surprised she never told him.
She was dying to know if he was okay with moving away and being done with her? Didn’t he want more, like she did? Or even if he did want more, would he ever tell her? Because honestly, when you lived so far away, what good would come from that? She was invested here in Windsor, she had her store and she’d wanted this dream for such a long time that she couldn’t—wouldn’t—change it.
She’d lost her appetite for food and her lack of sleep was messing with her brain and if that wasn’t enough, she had lost her keys to Lolita’s and had to call a locksmith to let her back into the store and re-key the doors. She hadn’t been herself and she knew what the direct cause was…or at least who.
He’d spent the night with her his last night in town and it had been bittersweet. Neither of them revealed any feelings toward each other even though she got the feeling that more could have been said between them. She, for one, knew there was so much she wanted to say to him—beg him to stay, tell him she wanted more of what was going on between them—but she didn’t. She didn’t want to scare him or make him feel bad for leaving. This would be a huge step for Logan’s career and who was she to mess that up? Couple that with her confession of what she’d kept from him for so long, it had been full of heated desire and heartbreak. The look in his eyes, because he insisted the lights stay on the whole night, told her he was right there with her in thought. Her intuition told her they were on the same plane of wanting and needing each other, but it was pointless to bring any of that up, now. Especially since she’d ruined their last night together with her confession. It hadn’t been the right moment, but she had run out of time.
She’d gone to the shooting range a few times, hoping the pull of the trigger and the smell of gunpowder would ease her heart but it hadn’t helped. It had only made her reminisce about the last time she had come with Logan and she’d shown him how to angle the gun in order to hit the target properly. Needless to say, she had still been a better shot than him.
All of her friends knew about her and Logan’s short affair now, thanks to Brandi and each one of them had tried comforting her in a variety of ways. Marilyn had invited her to her Wednesday night book club. Which she’d made a point to go but it hadn’t helped cheer her up.
Amber had spent hours inside Lolita trying on almost every item from Gabriella’s new line she had ordered—Possessive—and typical Amber, loved everything and had bought all she could carry. Gabriella had her to thank for a lot of sales. Amber was a sucker for lace, tulle, buckles and satin.
Then of course, Brandi had made it her mission to bring her brood of children in every day after school to cheer Gabbie up. Ironically, the kids had helped. Drew, Deanna, Dylan and Dakota Kingston, aged eleven, nine, six and four, respe
ctively. She’d had a spare table she wasn’t going to use in the store and had let them paint it the afternoon they’d come to visit. What was the saying? Children were good for the soul? Logan would have been so proud if he could have seen her with the kids. She’d been patient and helping, she hadn’t even freaked out when Dakota had spilled the paint in the back room along the carpet. She’d been good with the kids. She had felt good being around them as much as she didn’t think that was possible. Usually, spending an hour or so with anyone’s kids was the maximum for her. But out of everyone’s good intentions, there was only one thing she wanted.
Logan.
She wanted him to cheer her up, to make her have multiple orgasms over and over the way he had before. She wanted to smell his sandalwood scent and listen to him talk about work. She wanted him to see her with the Kingston kids and be proud of her. She wanted him to be there with her while she had unloaded her Possessive shipment and played with all the silky fabrics.
God, she missed him.
She was hopeless.
Lolita’s had been busy today and she had stayed well after closing to get things in order. The new line had sold well, even excluding Amber’s small fortune of purchases the other day. She placed an online order for more items and shut things down to head home. She was exhausted. Tired from work and still mopey from Logan’s absence. She pulled into her condo parking lot and realized she had forgotten her phone at work. Shoot. She knew exactly where it was, too. Sitting in the back room on the counter where she always plugged it in so she could play music through the store speakers.
Could it stay put until tomorrow? Yes. But what if Logan called or texted her? It happened so sporadically she didn’t want to take a chance she would miss his call. Although it was almost midnight on the East Coast, he was known to be a night owl. Yeah, she better go back and get it. Maybe she would text him tonight. Tell him how much she was missing him. Even though it had been less than a month, had he moved on from her? Was there someone at his office who had caught his attention? Her heart swelled with even more pain; she couldn’t think about that. Missing him was already making her sick, she couldn’t add on him being with someone else, too.
Normally she parked in the back of the store in the alleyway but at this late hour she pulled up in front of the store and withdrew her keys to unlock the door. She hated the silence surrounding her at this time of night. The moon was mostly hidden by the clouds and the air was brisk. The light that had normally lit up her storefront had been out for over a week and she wasn’t technically sure who was responsible for replacing it: the city or the person who owned the shopping center. Either way, it was starting to irritate her, and she made a mental note to call tomorrow and find out who should replace it.
She unlocked her door and knew immediately something was off. Intuition maybe, or maybe it was the crawling sensation she felt along the back of her neck. Before she could turn around back to her car and at least get her gun, she saw the figure coming toward her in the darkened room. Not even able to let out a scream, the man was in her face in a split second, shoving her down to the floor.
She fell back; a nightstand had blocked most of her fall and she banged her elbow enough to question if she broke it. She tried getting up to stop the man, but he jumped over her legs and ran at warp speed out her front door.
Her elbow burned and she couldn’t catch her breath. She was shaking, trying to compose herself. What the hell was that? A robbery? She quickly turned on the lights and tried ignoring the shooting pain in her elbow as she frantically glanced around the store. Nothing seemed out of place. Had she just stumbled in at the right time? The robber hadn’t had a chance to take anything? She ran to her cash register and found it open. The small amount of cash, maybe a hundred dollars, she had had in there was gone and a quick look below the counter confirmed her suspicions. There by her safe lay a hammer and some kind of tool. Touching nothing, she ran to the back of her store where she had left her phone and dialed 9-1-1.
She assured the dispatcher there was no one left in the store except herself and besides the throbbing pain in her elbow, no one was hurt. Two police officers showed up almost immediately—a benefit of being only a few blocks away from the police station.
“You okay, ma’am? Would you like me to send an EMT to check you over?”
The first officer who walked in was young, maybe mid-thirties with jet-black hair and matching eyes. The second officer, an older gentlemen, she thought he said his name was Harry, began walking around Lolita’s surveying the scene and taking notes.
“No, that’s not necessary,” Gabbie said. “I was mostly scared and when he pushed me, I banged my elbow really hard. If I think it’s too bad tomorrow, I will see the doctor.”
The officer took out his notepad and proceeded to question her.
“I came back for my phone—”
“About what time, miss?”
“Oh, I don’t know. Ten oh five, maybe? It was dark already and that stupid light, which normally lights up the front of my store, has been out so it was really dark. Anyway, I unlocked the front door—”
“Was the door actually locked?”
Gabriella thought back to her unlocking and opening the door. “Yes, it was locked. I unlocked it and I knew something was wrong right away.”
“How’d you know that?”
“A feeling, I guess. But I didn’t see the guy. He was wearing a hoodie and it happened so fast, he charged right at me and pushed me out of the way.”
“How do you know it was a man?”
Gabbie thought back to that terrifying moment when the man was coming toward her. “I don’t technically. But his build was shaped like a man, he was wearing men’s clothes. He had a bandana-type thing over his nose and mouth. But he looked like a man. Not a female. And when he pushed me, it was pretty clear the intruder was a he.”
Gabriella finished answering the young officer’s questions and the older one, Harry, came over to her counter where they had been standing.
“It looks like he forced his way in through your back door. Do you normally come here at night?”
“No. I forgot my phone.”
“Good. You said he only took a small amount of cash from the register?”
“Yes.”
“It doesn’t sound like he got away with much and based on the type of products you are selling, my guess is he wasn’t interested in that.” As Harry gestured around the store, Gabbie was certain she saw the younger officer blush.
“Do you have any type of security?”
“You mean, like a camera or something? No. I can’t afford anything that extravagant. At least not yet.”
“Consider getting one. You never know what someone like this could be after. Although it appears to be a random break-in, never a bad idea to be extra cautious.”
A little while later, the same locksmith company she called out when she’d lost her keys, showed up and fixed the back lock. The officers stayed and waited for Gabriella to lock up Lolita before they all went their separate ways.
Finally making it home, with cell phone in hand and ice on her elbow, she checked her phone. Nothing from Logan.
She needed him. She convinced herself she was not calling him because she was desperate to hear his throaty laugh or the way he said hmmm-mmmm, in response to her answers. She was calling because her store got broken into and she needed someone to vent to. And she was a little scared.
It would be early in the morning and she knew she’d waken him from a deep sleep, but in the end, they were friends. That’s what friends were for, right? He picked up on the third ring.
“Hello?” His voice didn’t sound sleepy like she envisioned.
“Are you awake?”
“I am.”
Her heart fell into her stomach. What if he was with someone else? Someone he was doing unspeakable things with? Should she ask him? She couldn’t quite get the words out of her mouth before she started crying. Bawling like a baby.
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“Hey, what’s wrong? What’s going on?”
“I,” she sniffled, “Lolita got broken into tonight.”
“What? Was anything taken?”
Air in through her nose, out her mouth. “No. Well, just maybe a hundred dollars or so, but nothing else. He tried breaking into my safe, but I walked in on him and thank God, stopped him—”
“—You walked in on him? Did he hurt you?” he demanded.
“No. Well, I’m icing my elbow right now. Cause when he pushed me, I fell into that cabinet by the door. You know, the one your mom found for me?”
“He pushed you? Gabbie, what the fuck? I don’t like this. Why were you there so late? Did they get the guy who did it?”
She sniffled again. “I forgot my phone and thought maybe you would call me. I didn’t want to miss it if you did. So, I went back and ended up walking in on him.”
A large sigh came over the line. “Why didn’t you take your gun?”
Such a smart question. And she had no real good answer. “Because I was literally running in there for just a second to grab my phone. How was I supposed to know I should go in there armed?”
“You’re not, I suppose. But you of all people should know to never let your guard down. Are you sure you’re okay?”
“Yeah. Just scared, mostly. The police said I should get a camera or a security system, in case it happens again.”
“What would give them the impression it might happen again?”
“I don’t know. Nothing. You know police, just being extra cautious. I hope I didn’t interrupt whatever you were doing…”
“You didn’t. I was just lying in bed awake. I haven’t been sleeping that well since I got out here. It’s noisy and it doesn’t get dark enough in my room.” His voice trailed off and she wondered if he missed her.
Pistol Whipped (Love on Target Book 3) Page 12
