by Mark Coleman
Praise for From Suffering to Peace
“Mark Coleman’s wise and clear words draw on his decades of experience teaching mindfulness meditation. From Suffering to Peace is an excellent guide to the depth and breadth of these ancient practices, giving a clear path to bring these principles into every facet of your life. I highly recommend it to anyone interested in deepening their understanding of mindfulness.”
— Troy Aikman, Pro Football Hall of Fame quarterback and FOX Sports broadcaster
“As popular as mindfulness has become in the culture, many do not realize that it’s more than simply a way to reduce stress. It’s a profound practice that leads to the highest states of awakening and freedom. Mark Coleman has written an invaluable book that expands the simpler applications of mindfulness practice to reveal its full potential. In addition to giving the reader a clear understanding of the power of mindfulness, From Suffering to Peace offers a treasure trove of practices that allow the reader to develop and realize its true promise. A real gem!”
— James Baraz, coauthor of Awakening Joy: 10 Steps to Happiness and cofounding teacher of Spirit Rock Meditation Center, Woodacre, CA
“This book reveals how mindfulness enables us to manifest our full potential for living from an awakened heart and mind. Mark Coleman’s writing is fresh and engaging, deep and inspiring!”
— Tara Brach, author of Radical Acceptance and True Refuge
“Mark Coleman’s new book was a revelation for me, even after having a meditation practice for nearly three decades. While I’ve often thought of mindfulness as a means of turning off my brain, Mark helped me see it’s more about turning on my awareness, which can often act as a gatekeeper for reactivity and judgment. Reading this book will help open the door to your growth and freedom.”
— Chip Conley, New York Times bestselling author of Emotional Equations and hospitality entrepreneur
“This eloquent and brilliant compendium is astounding! Mark Coleman has the bravery and deep wisdom to tackle complex and challenging topics — such as the true nature of mind habits, stress, relationships, aging, and loss — bringing clarity and ease to them. He guides us, through embodied attention, to easily access the ‘jewel of awareness’ within us. Mark helps us shift out of our default state of self-absorption to experience joy within a quieter, more peaceful mind. You will find in these pages precious life lessons from Mark’s journey and from the many students whose lives he has touched and guided over thirty-five years.”
— Elissa Epel, PhD, professor and mindfulness researcher at University of California San Francisco and coauthor of the New York Times bestseller The Telomere Effect: A Revolutionary Approach to Living Younger, Healthier, Longer
“This is as clear, comprehensive, and practical a guide as you will ever find for fully understanding and integrating the power of mindfulness into every aspect of your life. Drawing on wisdom and insights from decades of experience as a meditation practitioner and mindfulness teacher, Mark Coleman offers the reader life-changing tools that promote flourishing, lasting peace of mind and freedom. In a meaningful and heartful way, this book delivers on the ‘true promise of mindfulness’ and may well change your life.”
— Rich Fernandez, PhD, CEO of the Search Inside Yourself Leadership Institute and former director of executive education at Google
“Mark Coleman, a deeply experienced and kind mindfulness teacher and practitioner, has written yet another clear, accessible, and inviting book. He warmly invites readers to bring mindfulness — the genuine practice and not its watered-down, popularized versions — into all aspects of their lives, by addressing misunderstandings, showing ways around obstacles, and revealing its power in dozens of compelling examples. Mark has brought us a wonderful, refreshing, inspiring, and very personal text that will be useful for many people, new and experienced, on the path from suffering to peace.”
— James Flaherty, founder of New Ventures West and Integral Coaching
“From Suffering to Peace provides a beautifully clear wide-angle lens on the transformative power of mindfulness in our daily lives. In the same way that he has explored and loved the natural world, through his many years of practice and teaching Mark Coleman has discovered the inner beauty and spaciousness of our hearts and minds. In this comprehensive work, Mark shares the many insights and practices that so deeply inform its title.”
— Joseph Goldstein, author of Mindfulness: A Practical Guide to Awakening
“In turbulent times, we must develop inner peace from the inside out — and Mark Coleman shows us how. Step-by-step, like a wise friend who is also a world-class teacher, he offers practical tools and penetrating insights for lasting well-being in a changing world. Full of encouragement and heart, this book has great depth and breadth, and it is a sure guide to that highest happiness, peace.”
— Rick Hanson, PhD, author of Buddha’s Brain: The Practical Neuroscience of Happiness, Love, and Wisdom
“Like mindfulness itself, this book is helpful and kind. It is straightforward, comprehensive, and wise.”
— Jack Kornfield, coauthor of A Path with Heart and cofounding teacher of Spirit Rock Meditation Center, Woodacre, CA
“This book is a direct transmission of wisdom from one of the most well-respected dharma teachers in the field. His ability to integrate kindness into traditional practices of mindfulness, insight, and equanimity is a true gift, and this book is sure to transform the lives of many.”
— Kristin Neff, PhD, associate professor in the department of educational psychology at the University of Texas at Austin
“From Suffering to Peace is a comprehensive and accessible look at mindfulness practices that lead to living wisely and with peace. This is an important, useful, and thoughtful book for the often chaotic and distracting times in which we live.”
— Sharon Salzberg, author of Lovingkindness and Real Happiness
“From Suffering to Peace offers the wisdom of reflection, the effectiveness of years of teaching, and the rigor of deep personal practice to help guide us toward greater happiness and well-being. This illuminating book invites us into a new way of living that has the power to transform our individual and collective lives.”
— Shauna Shapiro, PhD, professor at Santa Clara University
“Mark Coleman is a wise, kind, and compassionate teacher. This new offering will be very helpful for both new and experienced practitioners.”
— Bob Stahl, PhD, coauthor of A Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction Workbook
“This comprehensive guide to mindfulness rounds out the field in an extraordinary way. Moving far beyond mindfulness as a stress reduction technique, it shows us the depth and breadth of mindfulness teachings — including how they can make an impact in the world. Highly recommended for all practitioners.”
— Diana Winston, director of mindfulness education at the UCLA Mindful Awareness Research Center, author of The Little Book of Being, and coauthor of Fully Present
Also by Mark Coleman
Awake in the Wild: Mindfulness in Nature as a Path of Self-Discovery
Make Peace with Your Mind: How Mindfulness and Compassion Can Free You from Your Inner Critic
New World Library
14 Pamaron Way
Novato, California 94949
Copyright © 2019 by Mark Coleman
All rights reserved. This book may not be reproduced in whole or in part, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means — electronic, mechanical, or other — without written permission from the publisher, except by a reviewer, who may quote brief passages in a review.
The material in this book is intended for education. It is not meant to take the place of diagnosis and treatment by
a qualified medical practitioner or therapist. No expressed or implied guarantee of the effects of the use of the recommendations can be given or liability taken.
Certain names in this book have been changed to protect privacy.
Permission acknowledgments on pages 293 and 295 serve as an extension of the copyright page.
Text design by Tona Pearce Myers
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Names: Coleman, Mark, date, author.
Title: From suffering to peace : the true promise of mindfulness / Mark Coleman.
Description: Novato, California : New World Library, [2019] | Includes bibliographical references and index.
Identifiers: LCCN 2018052577 (print) | LCCN 2019004292 (ebook) | ISBN 9781608686049 (e-book) | ISBN 9781608686032 (print : alk. paper)
Subjects: LCSH: Peace of mind. | Mindfulness (Psychology) | Conduct of life.
Classification: LCC BF637.P3 (ebook) | LCC BF637.P3 C64 2019 (print) | DDC 158.1--dc23
LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2018052577
First printing, May 2019
ISBN 978-1-60868-603-2
Ebook ISBN 978-1-60868-604-9
Printed in Canada on 100% postconsumer-waste recycled paper
New World Library is proud to be a Gold Certified Environmentally Responsible Publisher. Publisher certification awarded by Green Press Initiative.
10987654321
To all practitioners and teachers of mindfulness meditation
past and present, and to the awakening of hearts and minds
that unfold from these liberating practices
• • •
The ultimate value of life depends upon awareness and the power of contemplation rather than upon mere survival.
– ARISTOTLE
Contents
Preface: The Mindfulness Landscape Today
Introduction: Understanding Mindfulness
PRACTICE: Mindfulness of Breath
Section 1: Finding Peace in the Body
1. Living with Embodied Awareness
PRACTICE: Walking Meditations
2. Listening and Tending to the Body
PRACTICE: Body Scan
3. Working Carefully with Physical Pain
PRACTICE: Attuning to Pain with Kind Attention
4. Finding Refuge in Transience and Uncertainty
PRACTICE: Meditating on Impermanence
5. Meeting Aging with Kind Awareness
PRACTICE: Embracing Aging with Kind Awareness
6. Embracing Death’s Invitation
PRACTICE: Death Contemplation
7. Riding the Waves of Pleasure and Pain
PRACTICE: Exploring the Waves of Joy and Pain
8. Understanding the True Nature of the Body
PRACTICE: Exploring the Selfless Nature of the Body
Section 2: Finding Peace in the Mind
9. Working with the Thinking Mind
PRACTICE: Mindfulness of Thoughts
10. The Ceaseless Conjuring of What Isn’t
PRACTICE: Seeing through Perceptual Distortion
11. The Restless Comparing Mind
PRACTICE: Noticing the Comparing Mind
12. Identifying the Judging Mind
PRACTICE: Recognizing the Judging Mind
13. The Illusion of Time
PRACTICE: Mindfulness of Time
14. Shining the Light on Views and Beliefs
PRACTICE: Mindfulness of Views
15. Knowing Dissatisfaction and Its Causes
PRACTICE: Understanding Dissatisfaction
16. Learning the Wisdom of Letting Go
PRACTICE: The Practice of Letting Go
17. Freedom from Attachment
PRACTICE: Abiding in Nonattachment
18. The Changing Nature of Self
PRACTICE: Exploring the Changing Nature of Self
19. Releasing Mistaken Identity
PRACTICE: Examining the Nature of Self
20. The Causal Nature of Everything
PRACTICE: Reflecting on Causality
21. Exploring the Nature of Awareness
PRACTICE: Mindfulness of Awareness Itself
Section 3: Finding Peace in the Heart
22. Opening to Vulnerability with a Kind Heart
PRACTICE: Attuning to Vulnerability
23. Learning to Manage Triggering Emotions
PRACTICE: Working with Triggers
24. Cultivating Self-Compassion
PRACTICE: Developing Self-Compassion
25. Developing the Kind Heart
PRACTICE: Shifting from Judgment to Kindness
26. Embracing Loss
PRACTICE: Softening into Loss
27. Living with a Steady Heart
PRACTICE: Cultivating a Steady Heart
28. Delighting in the Joy of Others
PRACTICE: Celebrating the Joy of Others
29. Extending Compassion to Others
PRACTICE: Developing Compassion for Others
Section 4: Finding Peace in the World
30. Mindfulness in Relationships
PRACTICE: Radical Acceptance in Relationship
31. Freeing Ourselves from Self-Centeredness
PRACTICE: Examining Self-Centeredness
32. We’re All in This Together
PRACTICE: Developing Interconnectedness
33. Service in the World
PRACTICE: Cultivating Generosity
34. Waking Up to Unconscious Bias
PRACTICE: Mindfulness of Bias
35. Waking Up to Nature as Teacher
PRACTICE: Gleaning Wisdom from Nature
36. Being a Steward of the Earth
PRACTICE: Protecting What We Love
Acknowledgments
Endnotes
Index
About the Author
Preface
The Mindfulness Landscape Today
When Siddhartha Gautama first taught about mindfulness 2,600 years ago in northern India, he probably had no idea how these teachings and perspectives would spread around the world in the twenty-first century. The Buddha originally taught these practices as a vehicle for ending suffering and finding peace, genuine happiness, and a living freedom amidst any and all circumstances in life. Today, how these meditations are taught and developed in therapy offices, hospitals, school classrooms, and boardrooms may perhaps differ from the scope of his original intent, yet they continue to have a profound impact on tens of millions of people in every walk of life all over the world.
Indeed, mindfulness seems to be everywhere, and it is not difficult to see why. It can help develop focus and self-awareness. It can improve your well-being and ability to work with a wide array of challenges, from addiction and anxiety to ADHD. Extensive research now affirms that mindfulness practice results in better emotional regulation, improved attention, and an enhanced ability to work with pain. People everywhere are now discovering what meditation adepts across Southeast Asia have known for millennia, that mindfulness practice can help cultivate awareness and grow the heart of compassion, for both ourselves and others.
As a result, almost every week I hear of some new application for mindfulness. It’s being taught in schools, from kindergarten to university, and integrated into an array of organizations, from NBA teams to corporate offices. It’s practiced by the military, athletes, surgeons, therapists, programmers, and first responders. It has been featured in countless publications, as well as in numerous podcasts, books, and TV and radio programs. Mindfulness programs are helping people across their entire life spans, from supporting pregnant mothers with childbirth to assisting hospice patients with the challenges of dying.
This movement of mindfulness from cloistered monasteries into research labs, hospitals, schools, prisons, and organizations is helping unprecedented numbers of people worldwide. Yet this rapid, modern proliferation of interest also raises questions and concerns. Given the vast amount of information about and hype surrou
nding mindfulness today, how do we know we are getting an accurate guide to this subtle subject? Even researchers can overstate what mindfulness can do, and the media, in their zeal to identify the next “big thing,” can tout mindfulness as the panacea for all personal and social ills. Given the meteoric growth of mindfulness and its reach into every layer of society, it is vital that the depth, limitations, and potential of the practice are clearly and accurately conveyed.
Mindfulness is a vast and complex body of teachings and practices that has been studied and cultivated for millennia, primarily within Buddhist traditions across Asia. Simply put, this matrix of teachings guides us in how to live a wise, ethical, and compassionate life. In this context, the core intention of mindfulness is to use the clarity of awareness to help ourselves and others find genuine freedom from suffering and to live with a kind responsiveness to life.
My hope with this book is to provide a comprehensive, clear understanding of the depth and scope of these ancient teachings as well as to shed light on their contemporary applications. That requires leaving no stone unturned as we explore our mind, body, heart, and world and discover what causes our pain and stress and what truly supports a life of well-being and peace. Throughout the book, as a support for this inquiry, I provide key meditations, reflections, and practices to help develop a real understanding of this quality and practice.
I began my own study of mindfulness in 1984 in England, before anyone I knew talked about meditation, let alone practiced it. In fact, when I told people I meditated, they thought I was either weird or antisocial. They looked upon what I was doing as navel-gazing, a cop-out from society, or at best a complete waste of time! But despite the dismay and judgments from friends and family, I persevered, even though this was neither easy nor socially acceptable.
Luckily, given the scant information about meditation available back then, I had few preconceptions to wade through. Also, I had the good fortune to train with an array of highly skilled meditation teachers in Asia, Europe, and the United States. I became passionate about my studies and underwent years of intensive, silent, mindfulness meditation retreats as a way to explore the practice deeply and intimately. As hard as that may sound, that immersion in deep contemplative solitude was one of the happiest periods of my life. It was that in-depth exploration that provided a solid foundation for learning to share these teachings.
