From Suffering to Peace

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From Suffering to Peace Page 27

by Mark Coleman


  Cohn, Howard, 212

  Collier, Nadine, 227

  comparisons, 91–96, 97, 222

  compassion, 7, 95, 96, 225–31, 251. See also self-compassion

  computers, 161

  conditioning: bias and, 267–70; identity and, 150, 153; inner critic and, 198–99; internalization of, 159–60; mindfulness of, 270–71, 272; negative effects of, 114; positive use of, 161–62; reality vs., 85

  confusion, 190

  “conscious distraction,” 36

  consciousness, 149, 165–66, 167

  consumer culture, 50, 131–32, 167, 260, 261

  contemplative traditions, 85

  control, 69–70, 71, 78–79, 145, 147, 179, 212

  “could have,” 101

  Covey, Stephen, 183

  criticism, 140–41

  Cultivating a Steady Heart (practice), 216–18

  Cultivating Generosity (practice), 266

  curiosity, 23–24, 273

  dance, 18

  “dark nights of the soul,” 189–90, 191–92

  Darwin, Charles, 246

  death, 30; body at time of, 73, 148; consciousness at time of, 165–66; contemplation of, 58–62; dissatisfaction and, 120; letting go during, 126–27; of loved ones, 57–58; mindfulness and, 58–59; mindfulness practices, 61–62; modern culture view of, 58; in nature, 275, 277–78

  Death Contemplation (practice), 61–62

  deep listening, 245

  defensiveness, 184, 185, 200–201

  deforestation, 256

  dementia, 145

  denial, 126, 204

  Denmark, 261

  depression, 198, 260

  despair, 190

  Developing Compassion for Others (practice), 229–31

  Developing Interconnectedness (practice), 257–58

  Developing Self-Compassion (practice), 194–95

  diet, 29–30, 53, 159

  digital devices, 245

  discernment, 98–99

  discrimination, 251, 270–71

  dissatisfaction: Hindu/Buddhist concept of, 117–18; mindfulness of, 118, 120–22; mindfulness practices, 122; with pleasurable experiences, 117–19, 260

  distractions, 19, 36

  Dogen (Zen master), 262

  dopamine, 263

  dukkha (dissatisfaction), 117–18

  Earth Day, 284

  Eckhart, Meister, 189

  ecology, 254, 255, 256–57

  economic instability, 176, 212

  ego, 92–94, 253

  egoism, 221

  “eight worldly winds,” 213

  Einstein, Albert, 253

  Ellison, Ralph, 145

  embodied presence: author’s sense of, 19–20; emotions and, 18–19; mindfulness practice and, 69; signs of, 17–18

  Embracing Aging with Kind Awareness (practice), 54–55

  Emmanuel AME Church shooting (Charleston, SC; 2015), 227

  emotional triggers: mindfulness of, 181–82, 183, 185–88; other people as, 223; in relationships, 236; response to, 182; space between response and, 183–84, 185; as survival mechanism, 182–83; working with (practice), 186–88

  emotions: awareness of, 171; conditioning of, 158; ecological crisis and, 283–84; letting go of, 126; as physiological phenomena, 18–19, 22; reactive, 158

  empathy, 7, 251

  Endangered Species Act (USA; 1973), 281

  engagement, life of, 260, 279–80

  entropy, 118

  environmental movement, 257

  envy, 220–21, 222

  Epstein, Mark, 149

  equality, feelings of, 92, 94, 95

  equanimity: defined, 212, 215; mindfulness and development of, 7, 11, 66, 212–13, 214; mindfulness practices, 216–18; mistaken notions of, 211–12; polarity managed through, 213–15

  evolution, 65, 252

  Examining Self-Centeredness, 248–49

  Examining the Nature of Self (practice), 154–56

  exercise, physical, 29, 53

  expectations, 42

  Exploring the Changing Nature of Self (practice), 142–43

  Exploring the Selfless Nature of the Body (practice), 73–74

  Exploring the Waves of Joy and Pain (practice), 67–68

  eyewitness statements, 106

  Facebook, 284

  factory farms, 281

  failure, 213

  fairness, 215–16, 217

  family, 161, 235–36

  famine, 231

  farm animals, 231, 281, 282

  fear: anticipatory, 35, 103–4; bias and, 268; of compassion, 228; jealousy and, 220; of loss, 206–8; pain and, 36, 37; perception distorted by, 87, 88; prevention of, 184; views/beliefs and, 114

  Fénelon, François, 237

  fight-or-flight response, 103, 182–83, 185

  Flight of the Garuda, The (Shabkar Tsogdruk Rangdrol), 167–68

  focus, 6–7

  forgiveness, 95, 227

  Francis of Assisi, Saint, 227

  Frankl, Viktor, 124

  freedom, inner, 78, 142, 170

  Friedan, Betty, 50

  “full catastrophe,” 64

  future: anticipating needs in, 104–5; mindfulness of (practice), 108–9; thoughts of pain in, 35; worrying about, 103–4

  gain-loss polarity, 213

  Galeano, Eduardo, 69

  Galileo, 113

  Gandhi, Mahatma, 77, 253–54

  gender, 268, 270

  gender identification, 270

  generalized statements, 101

  generosity, 247–48, 263–64, 266

  Germer, Christopher, 193

  Gilbert, Jack, 63, 64

  Gleaning Wisdom from Nature (practice), 277–78

  Glide Memorial Church (San Francisco, CA), 261

  Goldstein, Joseph, 98

  grasping: attachment and, 132; awareness of, 129–30; during childhood, 123–24; nongrasping, 129–30 (see also letting go); after pleasure, 66–67; suffering caused by, 123

  Great Way, 133–34

  Green River (UT), 276

  grief: aging and, 203; anticipatory, 206–8; author’s experience, 190; coping with, 57–58; heartfulness and, 203–4; letting go and, 126–27; mindfulness and opening into, 205–6; mindfulness practices, 208–9; process of, 126; self-judgment and, 204–5

  guilt, 204, 258

  guns, 182

  habitat destruction, 281

  habits, 161

  habituation, 118–19, 260

  Hafiz (Persian poet), 103, 265

  happiness, 77, 261, 263. See also joy

  Harari, Yuval Noah, 254

  Harding, Douglas, 146

  Harrison, Vicki, 203

  Harvard University, 7

  Hawken, Paul, 265

  “Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes, Knees and Toes” (body scan practice), 31–32

  healing energy, 33–34, 70–71

  health, 212, 214, 225

  heart: awareness of, 136–37; emotional trigger signals in, 184; growing of, 239; mindfulness and, 12; nature and, 282–83; open, and nature, 283; opening of, and compassion, 227, 228; relationships and, 235; shutting down of, 229; steady, 212, 216–18 (see also equanimity); vulnerability of, 176–77, 179. See also compassion; emotional triggers; emotions; joy; kindness; loss; self-compassion

  Heraclitus, 41, 42

  hindsight, 101

  Hollywood, 236

  homelessness, 228–29, 231, 261

  homophobia, 114, 176

  hormones, 159

  humanity, shared, 191, 192, 251–52, 285

  humor, 101–2

  hunger, 176

  Iceland, 261

  ideas, 171

  identity: body and, 146–48, 155; building sense of, 145–46; compassionate attention to, 153–54; as fixed, 140, 153; labeling and, 151–52; mindfulness and, 151; mindfulness practices, 154–56; mind/thoughts and, 148–51, 155–56; personality and, 152–54. See also self, sense of

  illusion, 85

  immigration, 252, 256
/>   impatience, 54

  impermanence: aging and, 52–53; death contemplation and, 60–62; dynamic nature of, 277–78; equanimity and, 217–18; of joy, 9; life in alignment with, 42; mindfulness practices, 45–47; in nature, 274–75; of pain, 36; perceptual distortions about, 86, 89; of pleasure, 118–19; of sense of self, 140–43, 145, 154, 277; views/beliefs about, 115; as wake-up call, 44–45

  “impostor syndrome,” 198

  incest, 176

  India, 64, 66, 253–54

  individualism, 115

  inferiority, feelings of, 92, 93–94, 95

  injuries, 159

  inner critic: author’s experience, 1, 97; conditioning and belief in, 160, 198–99; grief and, 204–5; judging mind and, 98; meditation and, 199–200; mindfulness of, 100, 101–2; mindfulness practices, 201–2; negative effects of, 197–98; self-compassion as antidote to, 200–202; views/beliefs based in, 114; vulnerability and, 102

  instinct, 150

  insults, 183

  intention, 266, 285

  interconnection: developing (practice), 257–58; global need for, 254–55, 256–57, 285; mindfulness and, 255–56, 279, 285; in nature, 275, 278; sense of self and, 156; separateness vs., 251–55; service and, 261; social movements based on, 253–54; views/beliefs about, 115

  intuition, 22

  Iraq War, 252, 256

  “I” thoughts, 150–51, 154–55

  Jagger, Mick, 117

  jealousy, 220–21

  Jesus of Nazareth, 134

  John Paul II, Pope, 279

  journaling, 116

  joy: body and, 19; as impermanent, 9; mindfulness practices, 222–23; sympathetic, 219–23

  Joyce, James, 19

  judgments, 97–102, 258. See also inner critic; self-judgment

  Kabir (Indian poet), 273

  Karoli Baba, Neem, 261

  Keolker, James, 51–52

  kindness: awareness and, 175, 177; equanimity and, 218; loss and, 203, 206, 208; mindfulness and, 177; vulnerability met with, 177–80

  “Kindness” (poem; Nye), 203–4

  King, Martin Luther, Jr., 227–28, 251, 252, 254

  Kornfield, Jack, 123, 220

  labeling, 151–52, 155

  Lance, Ethel, 227

  Lao-tzu, 131, 135

  Last Lecture, The (Pausch), 120

  Lawrence, D. H., 148

  leadership, 261–62

  Letters to a Young Poet (Rilke), 70

  letting be, 123

  letting go: of attachments, 134–35; in bad conditions, 124–25; benefits of, 128; during childhood, 123–24; as letting be, 123, 126–28; mindfulness practices, 128–30; New Age view of, 125–26; of sense of self, 156

  limbic system, 182–83

  listening, 245

  London (England), 1–2, 17–18, 268

  Lorde, Audre, 267

  loss: aging and, 203; anticipation of, 206–8; coping with, 57–58; heartfulness and, 203–4; mindfulness and opening into, 205–6; polarity and, 213; self-judgment and, 204–5; vulnerability to, 179–80

  love, 19, 177, 227, 239, 265, 281–82

  loving-kindness, 202

  Lutz, A., 52

  Ma, Dipa, 245

  Macy, Joanna, 257, 284

  Mahabharata, 57

  Make Peace with Your Mind (Coleman), 97, 191

  Mandela, Nelson, 262

  mantras, 45

  Maranasati (death contemplation), 58–59

  Marcus Aurelius, 124

  marital conflict, 199

  materialism, 260

  meat diet, 282–83

  media, 64

  medicine, 159

  Meditating on Impermanence (practice), 45–47

  meditation: aging and, 53; author as teacher of, xx, 91, 120; author’s experience, 77, 189–90, 279; benefits of, 43–44, 52; equanimity and, 212; on impermanence, 45–47; inner critic and, 199–200; misconceptions about, 243–44, 279; negativity during, 157–58; online courses in, xx; as practice, 37; reasons for, 80; as self-centered, 243–44, 262; sympathetic joy meditation, 219–20; thoughts and, 81; “unmindfulness,” 166–67; walking, 6, 23–25; wandering attention during, 248

  meditation retreats, 157–58, 255–56, 276–77, 281–82

  memory, 105–6, 108, 109, 145

  mental disorders, 176

  microorganisms, 147

  mind: awareness of processes of, 77–81, 136–37; body and, 159; comparing, 91–96; control of, 71, 145, 179; creative/harmful potentials of, 77–78; emotional trigger signals in, 184; grasping nature of, 66–67; happiness and, 77; identification with, 148–51, 155–56; judging, 97–102, 197–202; mindfulness and, 12, 80–81; mindfulness practices, 82–83, 89–90, 94–96, 100–102; mistaken identity conceptualized by, 151; perceptual distortion and, 85–89; pleasure/pain waves in, 65; reactivity and, 68; scientific research on, 77, 148–49, 165; sense of self and, 145; time as construct of, 103, 105; vulnerability of, 179. See also attachment; causality; dissatisfaction; identity; letting go; self, sense of; thoughts; time; views/beliefs

  mindfulness: aging and, 54; author as teacher of, xix–xxi, 41, 235; author’s interest in, xix, 1–3, 17–18, 113; benefits of, xvii–xviii, 3, 5–12, 43–44, 79, 98–100, 262–63, 279–80, 285; of bias, 270–72; body and, 20–22, 28–29, 35–36, 72, 120–21, 146–47; of conditioning, 270–71, 272; death and, 58–59; deep listening as facet of, 245; defined, xxi, 3–6, 64, 167; of dissatisfaction, 118, 120–22; of emotional triggers, 181–82, 183; equanimity developed through, 66, 212–13, 214; grounding quality of, 80; inner critic and, 200; interconnection and, 255–56, 285; kindness and, 177; loss and, 203; love infused with, 227; modern popularity of, xvii–xviii, 5, 7; origins of, xvii, xviii–xix; of pain, 34, 35–36; paradox of, 262; point of, 69; questions/concerns about, xviii; of reactivity, 127–28, 238–39, 262–63, 279; scientific research on, 20, 214; self-centeredness and, 244–45; self-compassion and, 190–91; of sense of self, 142, 153; thoughts and, 80–81, 106–7; unmindfulness, 166–67, 169–70; of views/beliefs, 113–16. See also awareness; mindfulness practices; under specific topic

  Mindfulness Institute, xx

  Mindfulness of Awareness Itself (practice), 170–72

  Mindfulness of Bias (practice), 271–72

  Mindfulness of Breath (practice), 13–14

  Mindfulness of Thoughts (practice), 82–83

  Mindfulness of Time (practice), 108–9

  Mindfulness of Views (practice), 116

  mindfulness practices: for aging, 54–55; for awareness, 170–72; for bias, 271–72; for body, 23–25, 31–32, 73–74; for causality, 162–63; for compassion, 229–31; death contemplation, 61–62; for dissatisfaction, 122; for emotional triggers, 186–88; for equanimity, 216–18; how to use, 12; on impermanence, 45–47; for inner critic, 201–2; for interconnection, 257–58; for letting go, 128–30; for loss/grief, 208–9; maturation of, 177; for mind, 82–83, 89–90, 94–96, 100–102; for nature, 277–78; for nonattachment, 135–37; for pain, 38–39; for pleasure/pain waves, 67–68; for self-centeredness, 248–49; for self-compassion, 194–95; for sense of self, 142–43, 154–56; for service, 266; for sympathetic joy, 222–23; for time, 108–9; types of, 6; for views/beliefs, 116; for vulnerability, 178–80

  Mindful Self-Compassion, 193

  monastic life, 235–36

  mood disorders, 176

  moods, 171

  mortality. See death

  multitasking, 161–62, 245

  mysticism, 104, 148–49, 165–66, 273

  Nasruddin stories, 71

  National Science Foundation, 79

  nature: author’s experience in, 19–20, 152; death in, 275; disconnection from, 283; embodied presence in, 20; human destruction of, 280–81; impermanence in, 274–75, 277–78; industrial world and, 280; interconnection in, 275, 278; love of, 281–82; mindfulness practices, 277–78, 286; renewal awaiting in, 284–85; self-centeredness and, 276; sense of self and, 276–77, 278; sensory awareness in, 20, 273–74, 277; simplicity/peace t
aught by, 275–76; stewardship of, 282–84; vulnerability of, 283

  Neff, Kristin, 191, 193

  negativity, 87, 93, 157–58, 197. See also inner critic

  negativity bias, 43, 63–64, 97–98

  neuroscience, 77, 148–49, 150, 165

  “never” statements, 101

  New Delhi (India), 64

  NGOs, 265

  Nhat Hanh, Thich, 253

  Nietzsche, Friedrich, 17

  Nisker, Wes, 154

  nonattachment, 135–37; mindfulness practices, 135–37; Zen view of, 133–34

  nongrasping, 129–30. See also letting go Norway, 261

  Noticing the Comparing Mind (practice), 94–96

  nursing, 246–47

  Nye, Naomi Shihab, 203–4

  observation, 78

  Occupy movement, 254

  Oliver, Mary, 59–60

  “one less” mantra, 45

  On Having No Head (Harding), 146

  open awareness practice, 6

  opinions. See views/beliefs

  “otherness,” 88, 99, 114, 135–37

  other people: attunement to, as self-centeredness antidote, 246–48; compassion extended to, 225–31; as emotional triggers, 223; joy of, 219–23

  ozone layer, 255

  pain, emotional: attachment and, 132; author’s experience, 189–90; equanimity and, 215–16; gifts bestowed by, 191–92; inner critic as cause of, 200; internalization of, 192–93; reactivity as cause of, 190; self-compassion during, 190–91, 193–95; vulnerability to, 179–80

  pain, physical: author’s experience, 34; equanimity and, 215–16; healing energy for, 33–34; as human condition, 225; as impermanent, 36; letting go with, 127; mindfulness of, 34, 35–36; mindfulness practices, 38–39; negativity as result of, 158; reactivity to, 36–37; running away from, 34–35, 66, 67. See also pleasure-pain polarity

  Painchaud, Michelle, 181

  “Painful Case, A” (short story; Joyce), 19

  parenting, 161, 236, 247, 264

  parents, 199, 236, 238

  Paris Agreement (2016), 255

  Parks, Rosa, 253

  passivity, 128, 215

  past, the, 104, 105–7, 108–9, 161

  patience, 7, 54, 237

  Pausch, Randy, 120

  peace, 275–77

  “Peace of Wild Things, The” (poem; Berry), 275–76

  perceptions, 85–90, 267–68, 270, 272

  permanence, 115

  personality, 71, 152–54

  phenomenology, 104

  physical abilities, 270

 

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