by E. C. Land
The glare Twister gives Kenny causes me to flinch involuntarily. “You’re a pain in my fuckin’ ass,” he grumbles, turning his focus to Horse. “I’ll let you handle this one.”
“On it, Prez,” Horse mutters as he lifts Kenny up and over his shoulder. It’s comical the way she’s kicking and screaming at Horse to put her down. When he smacks her ass, I flinch even more. I know I shouldn’t, but I can’t help it. These people don’t know the real me, the one that I fear will end up costing people their lives.
I seriously should leave now, let them all forget me. It’s not like I’m important. Doesn’t matter what any of them claim. I’m a nobody who is supposed to be the wife of an evil man, yet I’d be nothing more than a plaything. A punching bag, whatever he felt like doing, that’s what I’m supposed to be. I’ll never be a part of this group of people.
“Jordan, you need to tell us everything. I get you don’t want to, but we can’t protect you without knowing exactly what we're up against. We were blindsided tonight and that’s something that seriously pisses me off,” Twister states.
“I’m sorry,” I apologize to Twister without meeting his gaze.
“Honey, you gotta open up to us,” Badger says, pulling me back into him.
I stiffen at his touch. How he goes from hot to cold then back again is mind-boggling. This morning, he couldn’t get away from me quick enough. Now, he’s attempting to be kind though I felt the tension in his touch mere minutes ago.
“Deirfiúr, we’re not gonna let anything happen to you. I swear on all that I am, we’re gonna keep you safe,” Gadget murmurs from across the room.
“And that right there is why I should leave,” I muttered to myself.
“Get that shit out of your head right fucking now, babe. I’m not about to lose you,” Badger growls as he pulls me tighter into him. Again with the hot and cold, though the rumble in his voice sends shivers down my spine. It’s one thing about Badger, he has a way of waking my body without touching me. When he kissed me the first time, it was like having a switch flicked and all of a sudden, I wanted more. “Now, start talking so we can get home. Oh, and you can also share how you got here.”
“That’s an easy answer, I walked,” I murmur.
“You what?” Dragon grumbles.
“I walked here,” I say again, a little bit louder. My eyes focus on a spot on the floor.
“Do you know how dangerous that was? How foolish? You should have called, better yet stayed the fuck in the house,” Badger roars from behind me as he takes a step back.
“Cool it, brother,” Twister orders. “Jordan, I suggest you start at the beginning and we’ll come back to you walking here.”
Sighing, I wrap my arms around myself, moving my hands toward my neck. The scars might be invisible, but I can easily feel the tightening of my throat as if it were happening again.
“Since I can remember, I’ve lived with my dad. Somehow, he ended up getting custody of me and my mom only got visitation. It’s the good ole boy judicial system at its finest. Anyway, he told me if I ever told anyone what happened in our house, my mom included, he would kill them. I didn’t want anything to happen to my mom. Dad made sure when it was time to visit mom, I had a listening device on me so he’d be able to monitor everything I said. If I attempted to tell my mom I was severely punished when I got home.
“As I got older, each abuse I took got worse if I stepped out of line. It got to the point that I was punished daily. He told me it was for my own good, that he was training me to be the docile wife for my husband. I met Kayne for the first time when I was fourteen. At first, I thought he was nice but quickly learned exactly what type of monster he really is.
“There’s a contract between his father and mine that I am to marry him when I turn twenty-five, but not just that, I am to stay a virgin until that day.” I stop there as tears begin to fill my eyes.
I didn’t know I could feel any more embarrassed than I already have, but telling these men my story is mortifying.
“Keep going,” Badger says roughly from behind me. His voice is so close yet I don’t feel him near me.
Hitching a breath, I run my hands up and down my arms. “The contract stated that if by chance I am not a virgin, it’s my death. I was trained to be nothing but what Kayne wanted. Don’t look into a man’s eyes. Don’t backtalk. Do as your told or else. Take the beatings you deserve. Never speak of what you hear. Speak out of place and you won’t talk for a week. Dinner isn’t ready at a certain time, you lose the chance to eat the scraps given.” I continue on because they wanted to know what it’s like and the flood gates have been opened, so there’s no stopping now.
“The night you all found me on the floor wasn’t the worst beating I’ve received. The worst was when Kayne, his father, and mine decided to beat me together. Kayne and his father had my father hold me down by my throat while they not only beat me within an inch of my life, Kayne sawed my hair off. After that, he took his insignia ring off, heated the metal, and placed it against my hip,” I murmur, lifting my shirt up enough to be able to pull my pants down to show the brand of ownership to them.
As I turn around in a circle, curses are muttered throughout the room.
Maybe now that they know some of the horrors I’ve lived through, they will let me go. I’m not worth them getting in a fight with the Raven family.
“Now that you know everything, I’ll go. You don’t need me here,” I say, putting my shirt back down.
“What the fuck do you not get about the fact you’re not leaving me?” Badger yells as he grabs the top of my arm and turns me to face him. Using his free hand, he lifts my chin up so I have no choice but to meet his gaze. “Told you, you’re not leaving me.”
The intensity in his gaze is all-consuming. You could lose yourself in his eyes and I’m afraid of what I see in them.
Chapter Eighteen
Badger
My head feels like it’s on one of those tilt-a-whirl rides with all the shit swirling through my head. I’m conflicted between wanting to throttle this woman and hugging her close to me.
As she recanted her story to all of us, I could barely contain the rage brewing inside me. It felt as if the walls around me were closing in with each word. My fists clenched at my sides as I kept myself from pulling her against my chest.
By the time Jordan finished her story, her shoulders were slumped in defeat and I knew exactly what she was about to say. It pissed me off as the words spilled out of her mouth. I’m sick and tired of her thinking she’s not wanted here.
I didn’t mean to yell in her face, but fuck, she’s gotta get it through her head I’m not letting her leave me.
“Why don’t you take your ol’ lady home, and we’ll discuss this in the morning at church,” Twister suggests.
“Think you better go to the clubhouse instead of your house. Be safer there,” Gadget says.
Without a word, I nod my head, grabbing Jordan’s hand. I all but end up dragging her through the office, taking the back entrance to exit the building. I figured she’d protest, however, she keeps her mouth shut. At this point it’s a good thing with the way I’m feeling. At least until I calm down some.
Getting to my bike, I let go of her hand long enough to grab my helmet and hand it to her. “Put this on,” I tell her. Fury builds even more as she apprehensively takes the helmet and puts it on her head. Jordan has no reason to fear me. I would never hurt her.
I climb on my bike and wait for her to do the same. When she doesn’t immediately climb on behind me, I glance in her direction. “Climb on, babe,” I says when she doesn’t move, I reach out for her. “Throw your leg over and put your feet on the pegs,” I tell her, trying not to let her hear the frustration in my voice.
Finally, she does as I tell her. I inwardly shake my head as she sits as far away from me as she can, which might not seem like much, but when it comes to her safety, I need her flush against my back and holding tight. I’m not one to go slow when I ride. Twisting sideways,
I yank her to me none too gently. I’m an asshole, especially when I’m pissed, I know this, and I’m never gonna change that part about me.
Once I have her arms around me and her body pressed against mine, I turn the key on my bike and take off. Jordan screams into my ear as I spin the tires. Her body stiffens and she holds on tighter.
I know my brothers want us at the clubhouse, but tonight I need to take her back to my place. I don’t want to have witnesses for this conversation I’m about to have with Jordan because it will end with her legs wrapped around my waist as I finally sink my dick inside her.
After all, we are married now, and I need to feel my wife. And in the process, I need to get it through her head that I’m never letting her go.
The drive doesn’t take as long as I would have liked before we’re turning down the lane to my home. I should really say our home. As I slow, not wanting to kick up the gravel, I remember Jordan saying she walked to Outlaw’s. That will be the first thing she and I need to discuss. She should never have left the house. She knew the dangers surrounding her, yet left and walked into town only to end up in a bar.
Another thing we’ll be talking about. Tonight is gonna be long as fuck. I knew this day would be a disaster, it always is, but I didn’t realize it would go from one hell to another. I felt so free as I watched my childhood home burn, now the feeling of that same fire burns through me.
I need answers to questions that are rolling around in my head. Questions that won’t wait another minute, I tell myself as I pull up in front of the house.
Shutting the bike off, I put the kickstand down. I tap Jordan’s leg, telling her to get off, which she does quickly and removes the helmet from her head. Handing it to me, she keeps her head down. This does nothing but infuriate me even more. She should be able to look at me without me telling her to.
Grabbing her hand, I guide her into the house. Once inside, I release her hand as I move to the kitchen to get a beer. Popping the top off, I down most of it in one gulp.
Moving back to the living room, I expect to find her waiting for me, only it’s empty. Fuck, she must have thought she could escape to the guest room, the one she’d been using since moving in with me. I’d given her the room to help ease her into being with me. I was trying to be gentle as I could be, but now, I’m done. She’s my ol’ lady and will be moving to where she belongs— my bed. Where I can hold her whenever I want, same with sinking my dick into her.
With quick steps, I walk to the guest room and find the door closed. Grabbing the doorknob, I find it locked. Banging on the door, I yell, “Open the door, Jordan.” The silence on the other side of the door pisses me off to no end.
“Swear to fuckin’ God, Jordan, you don’t open this door right now, I’ll make sure to make your ass bright red once I kick the damn thing open,” I growl. You could say I have a temper when I’m pissed. Though I’d never hurt her, I don’t have a problem punishing her. Not in the way she’s used to. I’ll use her body against her as punishment.
When she still doesn’t open the door, I count to three in my head and kick the door open in one swift movement. Stepping into the room, I stop just inside.
Fuck.
At first, I don’t see her. Scanning the room, I have to do a double-take. My anger immediately drains from my body as my heart clenches in my chest.
My feet move without thought. Opening the closet door all the way, I crawl inside and pull her into my lap. “So, the closest is your safe place, too,” I state gently.
Knowing this, the anger I felt minutes ago means nothing to me now. Jordan went through hell the same as I did and I need her to feel safe with me.
Chapter Nineteen
Jordan
“So, the closet is your safe place too.” Badger’s words follow me into my dreams. I ended up crying myself to sleep in his arms as he held me, all while sitting in that closet.
I’ve found myself stretched out in a bed with an arm wrapped around my waist and a hard body pressed against me. I also realize I’m lying in said bed in nothing but my panties. My mind tries to tell me I should panic, but my heart tells me I’m safe in Badger’s arms. Because that’s exactly who is holding me.
Memories of last night flash through my head, then his words repeat in my head, from the anger-filled words to the gentle sounds when he found me in the closet.
“Stop thinking, you’re giving me a headache,” Badger grumbles sleepily.
“I am not,” I murmur.
“Yeah, Honey, you are. Your mind is so loud, I can hear the tinkering of the wheels working overtime,” he says, rolling onto his back and taking me with him, my back still pressed into his chest. “Roll over, babe, I wanna see your face.”
Sighing, I do as he says. I turn my body until I’m lying on my stomach next to him. Lifting up on my elbows, I face him.
“Babe.” Smirking at me, he shakes his head. Quicker than I can react, Badger has me laying on my back with him hovering over me. “When I said roll over, I meant to face me fully, not lay on your damn stomach.”
“Umm . . . ” I whisper, diverting my eyes. I can’t seem to focus on his words since he’s pressed against my core. And on top of that, I can feel exactly how hard he is.
“Now, I think we need to have a talk,” he rasps as he shifts against me. I don’t think I’ve ever heard his voice sound so husky. What do I know? I’ve only been around him a few times before waking up in the hospital, then the past weeks.
“Do we have to talk like this?” I murmur, glancing at his face.
Giving me his shit-eating grin, he says, “Yeah, Honey, I think this is exactly how we’re gonna have this conversation. I kinda like feeling the heat of your pussy against my dick. And that’s saying something since I’m honestly not used to this shit.”
Furrowing my brow, I don’t understand what he’s talking about. What shit? “Uhh.”
“You don’t get what I’m saying?” I shake my head at his question. “Means I’m not one to usually use my dick except for on the occasion that I need to release tension. Other than that, I use my dick for pissing, that’s it.”
My mouth opens and closes several times as I’m unable to form words. Holy freaking hell. As crude as his words are, I can tell there’s meaning behind them.
“I know it’s shocking, but I’m thinking we can change all that real soon. But right now, I’m just gonna stay like this while I ask some questions. Last night never should have happened.” I flinch at his statement.
“Babe, I’d never hurt you. You’ve got nothing to fear from me. But what I mean about last night is you shouldn’t have been afraid of me when we got home. I know I was an asshole. That’s just me and I’m not used to feeling shit for someone. When I walked into the bar last night after finding out you were there, and I was hours away, I was furious.” Badger closes his eyes for a minute as he shakes his head. His expression tenses a brief second before he gets it under control.
“Pissed at myself for takin’ off the way I did, which I’ll explain to you another time. Right now isn’t for that. I was pissed at finding that motherfucker with his hands on you. Then at what he said, and to top it off, having to hear your shit the way I did. I wanted you to be able to tell me your story when it was just us and I could hold you, not standing in an office with my brothers.
“I saw red when you slumped your shoulders, saying it was better for you to leave. You have constantly said those exact words way too many times in the time I’ve claimed you, and I went a little apeshit,” Badger says.
Still unable to speak, I nod my head.
“You know I’m never gonna let you go, right?” he asks and my eyes widen at the sincere yet firm tone he uses.
After a second, I’m finally able to form words. “Why?” Is all I ask.
“Because like I said, a badger needs his honey and to me, that’s you. You encompassed my heart the first day you bumped into me, giving me the doe eyes like you were caught in the sight of my rifle. I didn’t realiz
e it then, but the moment I saw you dancing at that club, the way you moved, I was mesmerized. I knew right then I was gonna claim you,” he murmurs as he leans forward, coming nose to nose, his mouth a breath from mine.
Oh, God, please kiss me. If he says anything else, I may cry, and I don’t want that. I want something else completely.
“You’re my ol’ lady, Jordan, and not just that but as of last night, you’re my wife. Might not have been all that legal, but it’s signed, sealed, and done. I promise you now that I will do right by you and even give you a wedding one day if that’s what you want.” Badger’s lips brush against mine with each word until he finishes and then he fuses his mouth to mine. Moving his hands, he continues to hover over me as he cups my face between both hands.
Badger deepens the kiss and shifts his hips. I moan into his mouth as I feel my body begin to hum with a need I’ve never felt before. My hips involuntarily begin to move on their own and Badger lifts his head from my mouth, leaving me panting for breath.
“I need to be inside you, Honey. I know you’re a virgin and it’s probably gonna hurt. I’ll be gentle until you’re ready for more,” he whispers as he kisses along my jaw.
“Please,” I say, my voice barely recognizable to my own ears.
Without another word, Badger moves his mouth back to mine as he runs a hand down my body, cupping one of my breasts as he goes. He doesn’t waste time there but rather continues further until he grips my panties in his hand and slides then down my legs. With swift movements, he has them off without breaking our kiss.
“Badger,” I murmur breathlessly as he starts to pull away. Feeling somewhat bold, I reach out to run my fingers through his hair, hoping to bring his mouth back to mine. Gripping my fingers through his long hair, I can feel the shortness underneath it. I knew he had an undercut, but I never knew it would feel this silky. It’s only a brief touch of his hair before he grabs both my hands in his and holds them above my head.
