Thorne: A little. I enjoy spending time with you and your family, that’s why I do it, not for gratitude or recognition.
Nancy: I just want you to know I appreciate your efforts. Not just with the kids but for making an effort to be my friend and make me welcome at the school. Now I’ll drop it.
Thorne: Everybody can use friends. You’re a good one.
Thorne: Did the kids give you trouble about bedtime?
He’d thought they might after sleeping all the way home but his heart wouldn’t let him try to keep them awake.
Nancy: Not really, not as much as I thought they would. They ate and were still pretty tired. All but Tommy were sleeping when I last checked and he was lying in bed reading.
Thorne: What about you? How will you spend your quiet evening?
Nancy: I talked to Warren for a few, now I think I’ll curl up with a book and have a nice, relaxing evening. You?
Thorne: I’m sitting in front of my tv. Not sure what’s on thought.
Nancy: That’s how I’ll probably be, not really sure what I’m reading.
Nancy: I half wish there was someone here to curl up next to and just be with, without having to talk or entertain.
Thorne: Wish I was there with you. Sounds great to me too.
Nancy: Seriously?
Thorne: I wouldn’t lie to you.
Nancy: That sounds pretty good.
Thorne: I’m in sweats, but I’ll come over if you want. No pressure for more than just companionship. I swear.
The minutes stretched with no response and Thorne’s stomach sank. Certain he’d scared her off, he set his phone on the table next to the chair. He picked up the remote and scrolled through the options, looking for something more likely to distract himself.
Ten minutes after the last message, his phone buzzed again. Thorne forced himself not to snatch it up to see if it was her. Instead, he picked a movie he’d seen before so he could follow along, even if he missed parts along the way. Only after he’d started the show did he pick up the phone.
Nancy: I wish I was brave enough to say yes.
Thorne: Me too.
Thorne: Even if not tonight. The offer stands.
Nancy: You sure?
Thorne: That’s as bad as thank you. If I say something, or text it, I mean it.
Nancy: I’ll try to remember that.
Thorne: Please do.
Thorne’s heart thumped in his chest. Maybe there was hope for the two of them yet. He felt a little lighter as he turned his attention back to the TV and the movie. He closed his eyes and soon, the day caught up with him.
Chapter 17
Nancy set the phone aside, not sure what to say next, if anything. She stared at the wall across the room, her hand going absently to the rings on the chain around her neck. She waited for the guilt to come, at the same time trying to remember the few times she and Thomas had talked about what if. That dreaded one that no one ever wanted to talk about but usually came up before a deployment. At least it did for families like theirs.
Thomas and Nancy both knew the dangers of his job, they’d never tried to pretend otherwise, or that it couldn’t be him, but as prepared as she had thought she was, she’d been wrong.
She tried to remember that last conversation. They’d talked about money, how much she’d have and what would be coming in, and what she’d need to do to get by. How to finish raising the kids. He’d warned her not to forget to continue saving so she could send the kids to school and still have money for retirement. That wasn’t the part she wanted to remember. She was trying to remember what she’d said after that. How she’d said it.
It took a few minutes but eventually she could hear the exchange in her head.
“Please be careful. I don’t know what I’d do without you, Thomas.”
She’d always called him by the full version of his name. His parents called him Tom, some friends called him Tommy, but he’d introduced himself to her as Thomas, and that’s how she thought of him.
Thomas had wrapped one arm around her and pulled her close before kissing the top of her head.
“I’ll be careful Nance, but you’re strong. If something happens to me you’ll be okay. I want you to remember something though.”
“What?” She’d pressed her face against his chest, denying just for a moment the possibility of losing him.
He was quiet for a long moment. Until Nancy thought something might be wrong and pulled back to check. As she looked up he took her chin and held it so she couldn’t look away.
“Be strong. Be you. But most of all, be happy. Don’t pine for me. I want to know you’ll get over me. You’ll find a way to thrive and if it’s in the cards, find someone else who will take care of you.”
She’d started to speak but he shook his head, stopping her.
“I know you don’t need anyone to take care of you. Like I said. You’re strong. But even strong women need someone to lean on once in a while. Find that someone for you. Find someone who makes you love again. Who makes you laugh and wants to help you shoulder the world.”
“I—I don’t know if I can.”
“You can.” He sounded so certain. That was the last thing he’d said for a while, first staring into her eyes for a full minute, making sure she understood he was serious, then pulling her into his arms. After a moment he’d kissed her, pouring his love along with a myriad of other emotions into the kiss.
Instead of the heavy weight of guilt she’d been expecting after wanting Thorne to be here, to curl up next to him, the tension she’d been holding, waiting for the unwelcome sensation unfolded as if a knot in her stomach had been untied. Warmth flooded her body as if Thomas were beside her giving her a big hug, telling her it was okay.
By the time school started ten days later, Nancy was feeling much better about the feelings she’d been hiding from. Most evenings after she got the kids to bed, she and Thorne had exchanged a few texts, but she’d not gotten to the point she had been that night and there had been no more talk of him coming over.
But now, as she parked her car in the lot at the high school, her stomach fluttered at the idea of seeing him again. Her hand went to the chain around her neck. Caressing the rings looped there calmed her jangling nerves. With a sigh she grabbed her laptop bag and got out. Time to stop fretting and get something done. She just hoped he knew how fragile her heart was.
Bracing herself, she went inside, heading straight to her classroom as usual. She was setting down her bag when a voice at the door sent butterflies fluttering through her.
“We’ve got a staff meeting after final bell today. It’s late notice and if you don’t have anyone who can watch the kids, McKeever will understand, but it would be better if you can make it.”
“I’ll call Suzette and see if she can stay.” She turned to face him, warmth spreading through her. She wanted to close the distance between them. To touch him, but this wasn’t the place. Not yet. “Thanks for letting me know.”
“I knew you’d need time to make arrangements. I wanted to warn you as soon as you got in.” He stepped into the room, moving as he spoke. As he stopped in front of her, his voice dropped, until it was just loud enough for her, but they wouldn’t be overheard by someone passing in the hall. “I wanted to see you too. It’s been a long week and I missed your face.” Thorne ran the back of one finger along the side of her cheek.
She couldn’t help the smile that slowly spread across her face. “I missed you too.” Unable to hold eye contact, she dropped her gaze to his shirt.
“I hope this means what I think it does.” He touched the chain along her collar bone but he didn’t touch the rings.
“I figured it was time.” She didn’t know what else to say. It was easier to talk to him over text when she wasn’t looking at him.
“I’m glad.” He stepped back. “You need to call your sitter and the last thing we need is for a student to find us in here.” He rolled his eyes, making her want to laugh.
; She knew what he was insinuating. Teenagers talk and gossip like nobody’s business. One student catching them standing here like this was all it would take to start it, and before they knew it, things would be moving like the speed of lightning.
In truth, they were standing there, not even touching, but by the time the story got back around to them, someone will have added and embellished until the rumor mill said a student walked in on them going at it like bunnies on her desk.
She was nervous enough without adding something like that to the mix.
“You’re right. I need to call Suzette. I’ll see you at lunch?”
“Wouldn’t miss it.”
She watched as he disappeared through the door, headed back to his classroom. For just a moment she wanted to follow him, to chase him down and ask him for that kiss. That would have to wait.
Sitting down at her desk, she pulled out her phone and dialed her sitter.
Chapter 18
Thorne waited all day for the lunch bell to ring.
“No running,” he reminded one of the students as they hurried to leave the classroom.
Thorne understood the impatience, but he still had to enforce the rules. One kid running would become five, then twenty, then kids would be getting hurt left and right. He waited until the last student had left then pulled out his lunch bag and started for the lounge, but stopped as he stepped out the classroom door. He might as well check and see if Nancy was ready. They could walk together.
Her classroom door was closed, so he peeked through the small window to make sure there were no students before pushing the door open and looking around the corner to where she kept her desk. But the room was empty. He hoped nothing had happened at home to make her leave early as he backed out of the room and continued to the lounge.
In the lounge, he found Nancy standing in front of the microwave, her lunch already unpacked at her usual seat at table. A tension he hadn’t been aware he was holding rushed from his body making him want to fall into his chair, but he held back, sitting normally instead.
Trying to act as though nothing was amiss, he pulled out the sandwich he’d packed last night and took a bite.
“Did you get things arranged?” he asked as Nancy brought her food to the table and sat.
“It wasn’t as easy as I’d hoped, but I did.”
“Oh?”
“Suzette couldn’t stay, but I called Warren and he’ll head over and take over till I can get there.”
“Will Suzette leave them with him?”
“Yeah. I’ve had scheduling conflicts before, besides, he was the one keeping them half the time when I found Suzette. We went through a few sitters before I found one that was reliable, and I felt like I could trust. Suzette’s been a godsend.”
“I’m glad you found someone you trust.” It wasn’t a lie. Thorne was glad. He’d only spent a few hours with the kids, but he’d come to care for them already. The last thing he wanted was to see them hurt or neglected in any way. “Have you thought about looking for a second? A back up or sub? For when Suzette is sick or can’t stay.” She looked at him with a frown. “I’m not trying to tell you what to do or how to run things. I just thought a second sitter for emergencies might be helpful for things like today, late notice for meetings, or if something else comes up.”
“I feel like an idiot because it never even occurred to me. I’m a teacher, I’ve used subs, I even did some subbing during my student teaching. It’s an obvious solution I feel like I should have seen sooner.” She set her face in her hands. “I’m not looking forward to starting all over again. But it’s a good plan for when I need someone else to cover.” She sighed and stayed that way a moment then picked her head up and continued.
“Maybe ask if she knows anyone or would recommend anyone and why.”
“I’ll have to tell her what I’m doing and why. I wouldn’t want Suzette to think I’m trying to replace her.” She picked up her fork and took a couple bites.
“I’d like to do something,” Thorne said softly, but I need your permission.”
“What?”
“I want to spend more time with you. I know you only get a limited amount of time with the kids and I don’t want to take from that so I had an idea. I’d like to find a movie, maybe two, at least one the kids can watch, maybe the other not so kid friendly. I’ll bring food, take out or maybe a couple of pizzas. Then we can have an evening together. We watch the one movie with them, then get them in bed and we can watch the other. Enjoy each other’s company, spend some time together.”
“Then what?”
“Then I go home. Maybe we do it again another night.” He hoped they’d do it again another night and another after that. This was part of his plan to grow on her, to become someone she wanted to be around all the time.
“What kind of movie?”
“What kind do you like?”
She was quiet a moment, then spoke in a soft voice. “I’d like that. I have two major rules for the not so kid friendly movie.”
“What?”
“No horror. I don’t like them. The closest I’ll get is some of the more mythological type things like Van Helsing. They call it horror because, well, I don’t really know but that’s not horror to me.”
“If I find anything like that I’d like to see, I’ll run it past you, okay? I’m not real big on horror either. But that’s only one. What’s the other?”
“No war movies. I can’t handle them anymore. Not even the old ones. No Sands of Iwo Jima, no American Sniper.”
He enjoyed some of them but he understood her aversion.
“All war movies or just modern ones?”
Nancy turned and frowned at him. He didn’t know if she thought he wasn’t being serious or she didn’t understand what he meant.
“How do you feel about Braveheart? I hear there’s going to be a sequel. I’d kind of like to see that.”
She looked at him a minute longer.
“I don’t know. I liked Braveheart and I might be okay as it’s not a gun war, but right now I don’t know and I’m not ready to try. Maybe I’ll be more ready in a few months.” She ate a few bites.
Thorne wanted to ask how soon they could do this, but he didn’t want to come across as pushy.
“How soon?” she said after a few minutes.
“Is tonight too soon?”
“Honestly?”
“I’d prefer it.”
“I’d love to do tonight but with the meeting after school, I’m not sure it’s the best idea. How about tomorrow?”
“I’m there.”
They spent the rest of their break talking about what kind of food and movies she and the kids liked. By the time the bell rang, and they were in their classrooms watching students file in and fill seats, he had a plan in mind.
Chapter 19
The doorbell rang and the butterflies that had spent the last hour fluttering in Nancy’s stomach turned to dive bombing condors, at least that’s how it felt.
“Stay here. Tommy keep an eye on her.” Nancy made sure her oldest turned his attention to the baby before she went for the door. She wasn’t worried about who was at the door. It was most likely Thorne. They’d made the plans yesterday and she’d texted him her address before school let out this afternoon.
Then, she’d known she wanted him to come. Now that he was here, she wasn’t so sure. But she couldn’t leave him on the step, so she took a deep breath and opened the door.
“Hi, come on in.” She stepped back to let Thorne inside, he came in and stood looking around while she closed the door. A pizza in one hand and a couple reusable shopping bags dangling from the other fist.
“You have a nice place.”
“Thanks. I like it but the only reason it looks so good is Suzette. I couldn’t keep up with it all if she wasn’t so much help.”
“There’s no shame in that.”
“That’s what I keep telling myself. I’m still waiting for it to sink in.” She shook her head.
“Come on, the kids are in here.” She led him into the dining room where the kids sat coloring, well, the older three were coloring, Jasmine was scribbling with crayons.
“Hey, guys. Look who brought dinner.”
“Hi, Mr. Whitman. What’d you bring?” Tommy asked.
“What’s for dinner?” Mason wanted to know.
“Mr. Man!” Jasmine climbed down from her chair and threw herself at Thorne’s leg, wrapping her arms around it like the little spider monkey she often impersonated. Nancy understood her enthusiasm, but was trying to show a little more restraint.
“Set things down here on the counter and we’ll serve from here.” She pulled a stack of plates from the cabinet and set them on the counter next to where Thorne was going through his bags. He set a couple thin movie cases from the rental machines on the counter, but she couldn’t see the titles from where she was. He pulled out a couple take out boxes and set them on the counter. Nancy frowned. She didn’t know he was bringing more than pizza.
After a moment he picked up one bag, something still inside from the way it hung.
“This needs to go in the freezer.”
“Can I look?” Nancy kept her voice low.
“Sure, I just didn’t want them to see.” His voice just as low as he tilted his head to where all four kids watched them with eyes that wouldn’t miss anything. “I got it just in case, whether during the first movie, the second, or not at all. It’s up to you.”
She opened the bag just enough to peek inside. Her eyes went wide as she closed the bag back up and stuck the whole thing in the freezer.
“We’ll see.” She closed the freezer door. “Who wants pizza?” she asked loud enough for the kids to hear.
They spoke over each other in their bid for their favorite food as she served slices and handed them to Thorne who took them to the table and gave them to the kids.
“What’s this?” She motioned to the other takeout containers.
“That’s our dinner.”
Risking It All Page 12
