“I don’t know,” His friend shrugged. “My dad always says he knew he was going to marry my mom the day he met her. It took him a year to convince her to marry him, but he says it was love at first sight for him. Maybe it happened for you, too.”
“If it did I think I’m screwed,” He couldn’t help but give a humorless laugh. “I, what, meet my soulmate, only to never be with her because fate has a cruel sense of humor?”
“Hey, who knows,” FX said positively. “Even if everyone says no now, maybe in a year you can look her up and ask her for coffee at the KXO cafe and just pick things up there.”
“If she still has a reason to be here in Korea,” Cheol added as an amendment.
“Right, if she is still in the country,” FX felt his reassurance deflating.
“And if she hasn’t started seeing someone else,” He added further.
“You think she wouldn’t wait for you for a year?” His friend was a little surprised.
“You think it’s fair to ask her to wait a year for a relationship that the company might still object to based on the fear of fan reaction?” Cheol put the question to his friend.
“I guess they might,” FX agreed.
“For all I know, this is a moot point anyway,” He said, closing his eyes. “She hasn’t messaged me back since yesterday.”
“She won’t answer you?” That didn’t seem like her, what he knew of her, at least.
“I think she’s afraid to say anything until she knows where we stand,” Cheol clarified. “I’m afraid she’s going to quit either way. I’ve made things too awkward for her.”
“She’s a big girl,” FX assured him. “She’ll figure out a way of making it work. It will be fine. She probably just needs a little time.”
“I want to go talk to her,” He admitted. “But I’m afraid she won’t talk to me. Even if she does, what if it’s just to say she doesn’t want me enough to try?”
“If she doesn’t, then maybe she’s not worth the heartache,” His friend reasoned. “Unless she has a really good reason.”
“Do you think the rest of the guys are going to understand? I’m kind of afraid to ask.” He confessed with an embarrassed grin.
“I don’t know,” FX replied. “I think most of them are more curious than anything. I haven’t heard anyone outright say no, mostly just that they are curious how this happened. I think a few people noticed you were doing things like leaving at the same time as her, but this sort of came out of the blue.”
“I was kind of surprised myself,” He gave his friend a watery laugh. “At first I just wanted to be nice, see if there was anything I could do to help her out, and then I just wanted to see a little more of her, maybe be her friend. Then I ended up at her place the first time…”
“What happened between you two?” FX asked curiously.
“When I was at her place the first time?” He looked at his friend who nodded in response. “Nothing much. We sat and watched something while our stuff was drying. She gave me this little commentary as we watched to catch me up on the plot points, jumping in to explain all of the characters and their history. It was so cute. She was so wrapped up in the characters and who belonged together and who didn’t, and she would make this face when she was annoyed with one of them...I can’t describe it. It was just funny. Watching her was as much fun as watching the show.”
“That sounds funny,” FX chuckled with his friend.
“It was,” Cheol agreed. “And she let me put an arm around her shoulders and her head just fit right here.” He patted his shoulder. “Her hair is so pretty and long when she doesn’t have it hidden.” He sighed, letting his hand drop to his lap. “I could have stayed like that for so much longer if she had let me.”
“So that isn’t when you kissed her, then?” FX questioned, trying to clarify what had happened in his mind.
“No that was….god, was it really only yesterday?” Cheol groaned and rubbed his face.
“Just the one time then?” He asked, not looking directly at his friend to give him a little space.
“Yes, sort of,” Cheol hedged. “It was just that one day but there were a couple of different kisses.”
“So...what were they like,” He teased his friend, giving him a grin but genuinely curious for the answer.
“Nice...wonderful...hot,” He couldn’t help but laugh. “She actually kissed me after I accidentally fed her really hot food that made her cry. I still feel so bad.” He confessed with a giddy giggle. “Oh god, she was so nice about it. I completely forgot she doesn’t like hot food and I gave her one of those beef dumplings that have a lot of chili sauce inside. She just had tears streaming down her face and I thought she was crying. Oh man, I thought I was going to die of embarrassment right there. But when she finally swallowed she was laughing and she just gave me this little damp kiss because she couldn’t say anything.”
“Awwww, that is sweet,” FX cooed with a laugh. “But you should feel terrible for feeding that to someone who doesn’t like hot food. That stuff hurts.”
“You can’t make me feel worse than I already do,” Cheol assured him.
“I’ll talk to everybody for you,” FX promised, putting a comforting hand on his friend’s back. “Even if the answer is no, it’s better to have an answer right?”
“Probably,” He shrugged. “Anyway, I should go. I’m going to try and be of some use in the studio.”
“Okay,” FX watched as his friend got up and headed out of the room. “See you when you get home.”
Chapter 6
Cheol stayed in the production studio overnight, eventually falling asleep where he sat when he couldn’t force himself to work any more. He woke up early in the morning on Monday when someone came in to do some work themselves, having reserved the studio early in the morning when it was less in demand by the more important groups. The young man looked startled to find someone in the studio at eight in the morning, apologizing for having bothered him. Cheol assured him that he had nothing to apologize for, he had just lost track of time while he was working, and left the studio.
Feeling a bit like death warmed over, Cheol headed to the changing rooms to shower and make use of one of the spare toothbrushes they kept stocked there just in case. At least cleaner when he came back out, if not feeling any better, he decided to make use of one of the practice rooms to warm up his voice and get some practice on his vocal practice, which he had skipped yesterday. Without much thought, he walked down to the third floor, where he and the other members usually practiced and took one of the middle soundproofed rooms.
After an hour of practice, which allowed him a small catharsis, he decided he couldn’t ignore the growling in his stomach anymore and headed to the cafe for something to eat. As he left the practice room, he heard the rattle of a door down the hall and looked up to find Claire making her way into the room she seemed to always use. He froze, torn between wanting to talk to her and being afraid of what she would have to say if he did. She looked up, having heard someone else in the hall.
“Good morning,” She gave him a quick greeting before trying to make her way into the room as quickly as she could.
“Morning,” He replied, starting to walk past her before gathering his courage enough to ask. “Have you already had something for breakfast? I was just heading down to the cafe for something.”
“Yeah I had something, well I tried to eat something,” Claire admitted. “But it wasn’t sitting well so I just came in without eating much. I’m fine, though, thanks.” She flashed him a timid smiled before closing the door behind her. She kept her back to the door as she put her things on the table, not wanting to risk turning around and seeing his face through the small window. The last thing she had expected, coming in this early, was to run into him, in fact she had come early in the hopes of avoiding running into him as much as possible. Though it had only been a couple of weeks, she had gotten a good feel for the personal schedules of most of the members. Cheol worked late and go
t up late, preferring to load his afternoons and evenings, rather than get up early.
After taking a moment to breathe, she sat down and put her headphones on to concentrate on looking at her work. She forced herself to look at the papers she had just picked up from their manager, reading through the new background information he was providing her for the new interviews as well as some feedback on her work with the members. He was recommending that she have them spend a little more time on some of the possible TMI sorts of answers as the breadth of topics it could cover made it a specific challenge.
Her first meeting was with Kitae, an early riser for the group, who managed to get in some time in for vocal practice before meeting with her. His smiling face appeared at the door around ten, happy to see her and share what he was working on for this week. He sat down in the seat beside her and pulled out his notebook and the graphic novel he had borrowed from Hyunwoo to read and talk about with her.
“I finished the first chapter last night,” He chattered excitedly. “Hyunwoo was right, this is a good story.”
“So you are enjoying reading it?” Claire was glad to see his enthusiasm. “What can you tell me so far? Try in English.”
“Oh, right,” He giggled and blushed slightly, having forgotten in his excitement. “I forgot.” They both looked towards the door as they heard the sound of the handle being turned. “Bro, good morning.” He greeted as Cheol poked his head in. Claire froze, not sure what she was supposed to say.
“Sorry, I just wanted to drop this off,” He held up a large paper cup, obviously filled with something warm. “You said your stomach was hurting and my mom always made me ginger tea when I was feeling sick. They had it down in the cafe, so I thought…” He cleared his throat before setting it on the table in front of her. “Anyway, I didn’t mean to interrupt.”
Cheol swiftly stepped out of the room, leaving Claire to stare at the cup he had left her, feeling like the floor had dropped out from under her.
“Claire-nim,” Kitae looked at her anxiously. “Are you sick today?”
“I’m fine,” She said, trying hard to give him a smile but finding the corners of her lips were reluctant to turn upwards. “I’m alright.” A lump was swelling in her throat and the backs of her eyes were prickling. She wasn’t going to cry, she told herself, not right now. Pretending to get something out of her bag, she gave herself fifteen seconds to gather herself, biting the inside of her cheek to keep the threatening tears at bay. Drawing in a long breath through her nose, she blinked a few times and put the best smile she could manage on before she turned back to Kitae and asked him to tell her about the story so far. The look he gave her back said that her smile wasn’t terribly convincing but he had decided to play along because she clearly didn’t want him asking any questions.
Kitae did his best in the lesson, hoping that it would cheer her up as he gave her a boisterous retelling of the first part of the story. She listened and asked him questions, getting him to explain more details and add his personal opinion to the retelling. She looked through his notes and the vocabulary he had written down to check if there were any glaring errors. It looked very well done, actually, not that she should be surprised as he was still in school and probably used to sitting down and doing homework in a way most of the rest of them weren’t as adults out of school.
“This is a really excellent start,” She told Kitae, this time with a genuine smile. “I’m proud of you for working so hard on this.”
“Thank you,” He fairly glowed at the compliment. “Oh, you’re coming over tomorrow to watch a drama with us still, right?”
“Yes, of course,” She nodded, half dreading the visit. “I’ll bring something for us all to watch. I will be there about 8 and I can bring some snacks if you’d like.”
“Oh, can you bring chicken,” He asked with his characteristic bright charm.
“I can do that,” She nodded.
“Thank you,” He said happily before he started packing away his things to head off to whatever it was he had to do next. “Don’t forget to drink your tea, Claire-nim,” He mentioned on his way out. “Ginger tea is good if your stomach hurts. See you tomorrow.”
“Tomorrow,” She managed to reply with a little bob as he walked out before she felt the prickle of threatening tears again. Leaving everything in the room, she walked quickly to the closest bathroom and locked herself in a stall just before the first tear escaped. I have to do better than this, she berrated herself. If you can’t hold it together over something this stupid, you probably shouldn’t be here. She let herself cry for a couple of minutes before she dried her eyes and went to a sink to splash some water on her face, hoping it would stop her eyes from looking too red. Changho would be coming by in half an hour and she had to have it together by then. It was bad enough she had let Kitae worry over her this morning.
***
During the mid afternoon, the members tracked Cheol down to one of the smaller dance studios on the fourth floor where he was practicing the choreography he had messed up the day before. He saw them entering in the reflection of the mirrored wall and walked over to pause the music. Everyone but Kitae, who was at school, filed into the smaller room, shutting the door behind them.
“Did I forget something?” He asked them, still breathing hard from the practice. “Was I supposed to be somewhere now?”
“No we just wanted to let you know that we are okay with you seeing her as long as you are careful,” Wonjung announced on behalf of everyone. “We decided we trust you and you wouldn’t have asked if it didn’t seem important.”
“Are you serious? You’re sure?” Cheol asked, not entirely believing his ears.
“Yeah,” Changho replied. “You might want to tell Claire yourself, she isn’t herself today.”
“I can’t tell her here,” He shook his head, knowing that it was a conversation they couldn’t have here. “Who is her last appointment today?”
“Me,” Wonjung raised his hand. “I’m meeting with her before our group dance practice.”
“I could...no, she would be mad at me for skipping practice to talk to her,” Cheol said, considering his options. “Maybe I can try to go by her place after practice.”
“Why don’t you message her?” FX suggested.
“She still hasn’t answered my last message,” Cheol said as he moved to his bag where he was keeping his phone. “But maybe she will if I tell her you gave me your answer. It’s worth a try.”
“Yeah tell her we said okay,” Changho sighed. “And if you make her cry again I might have to hurt you.”
“I wouldn’t,” He replied automatically, before it hit him. “Hey, you’re my friend, aren’t you supposed to be worried about her breaking my heart?”
“Yeah well, I already like her better than you,” He joked in his typically surly tone. “Besides, she needs someone to look out for her like a big brother since she is over here by herself.”
“Right, of course,” Cheol felt giddy as he sent her a message letting her know that the others had given them the go ahead. After he hit send he set his phone down, trying to avoid the temptation to watch the phone, waiting for her answer.
***
Claire heard the ping of the message as it came through over her headphones. She picked up her phone with a sigh and unlocked it only to see a notification of a message from Cheol. She considered ignoring it until she was at least finished with work but decided that smacked of immaturity and pettiness. Taking a steadying breath, she opened the message to read it.
Everyone just came to talk to me. They are okay with it. Can we talk?
Her heart skipped a beat and then dropped to her feet. She hadn’t expected they would give them the okay and she had spent the past couple of days thinking of all the reasons it couldn’t possibly work that she was having trouble accepting the idea that they were going to try.
Claire turned off the screen of her phone and pinched the bridge of her nose. Part of her wanted more than anything to
just fling herself into his arms, ignoring everything that could go wrong. However, another part, the one she assumed was the more reasonable portion, reminded her that it wasn’t as simple as wanting to be together. There were consequences, some of them serious and pure lust, or whatever this was, couldn’t be pursued just because it felt good. Not that anything was feeling particularly good right now. She dropped her head to the table and banged it a few times.
***
Cheol finished the group practices in much better spirits than he did the day before. He showered quickly before making his way to the room where Claire was still sitting with her papers spread around her. He tapped on the door and she looked up at the door with a surprised little oh. She gave him a tight smile and started packing up her things into her bag.
“Can I help with anything,” Cheol offered, entering the small room.
“No, I’m fine,” She shook her head, keeping her eyes on what she was doing. “I’ll just be another minute.”
“No problem, really,” He rushed to assure her. Claire finished packing up and they headed for the elevators where they ran into the group’s manager Choi Jihoon.
“Hello,” He greeted them both. “Still working or are you two done for the day?”
“Done,” Claire said with false happiness. “Well, almost done. I have a couple of things I need to discuss with someone back at the dorm, but after that I am done.”
“I was heading there anyway so I thought I’d escort her,” Cheol explained, with what he hoped looked like an easy shrug.
“That is good of you,” Jihoon praised. “Better not to walk around alone in the city, really. Of course it’s safe here, but things happen even in safe places.”
“I’m pretty good at taking care of myself,” Claire pointed out, sounding slightly rankled. “But I appreciate the company on the walk.”
“That too,” Jihoon chuckled. “I’m heading home. My wife says it’s my turn to make sure the kids do their homework.”
The Tutor Page 10
