Esme will freak out when she discovers I’m pregnant. She sees how hard her sister struggles as a single mother, and she won’t be calm or reticent about vocalizing her opinion. I can’t handle that yet.
Pen’s immediate reply states she is home alone, and I settle back in the seat, thinking over my options as we drive toward the city.
“Hey, you.” Pen greets me at the door with a hug, which I readily fall into. “Come in.” She steps aside to let me enter the three-bedroom condo she shares with Esme and another friend from U of C while Tony takes up guard in the corridor. Pen drags a chair out for him to sit on, handing him a bottle of water. He nods his appreciation before sitting.
Pen closes the door behind us, and I pull off my jacket, dropping it on the arm of the couch. I survey the homey open-plan living area with a pang of envy. I wanted to room with my besties, but Father put his foot down, and Mom sided with him. She fought tooth and nail to get him to agree to let me attend Loyola, and she educated me in the fine art of compromise. So, I had to sacrifice living an independent college life in pursuit of my career of choice. After this semester, I have one more year before I’ll graduate with my biomedical science degree, and then I have another two years to specialize in acupuncture and homeopathy.
“You look gorgeous,” Pen says, cocking her head to the side as she examines me. “Did you do something different with your hair or have you found some new miracle skincare products because, girl, you’re glowing.”
“That would be the pregnancy hormones,” I deadpan, flopping down on the couch.
Pen stumbles back, clutching the sideboard to steady herself. Her eyes are almost bugging out of her head, and her mouth is gaping open.
“I probably shouldn’t have blurted it out like that,” I admit, shrugging. “But there’s no easy way to say I’m knocked up.”
“Oh. My. God.” Composing herself, she rushes to my side. “Stupid question, but are you sure?”
“Yeah. I took a test, but I’ve known for a few weeks. I was just too chicken to confirm it until now.”
“Wow.” She sinks into the soft couch beside me. “What are you going to do?”
“I’m not sure—except I’m keeping it.” An involuntary smile ghosts over my lips as my hands automatically move to my stomach.
“I already knew that part.” She twists around so she’s facing me. “You were born to be a mother, Sierra. You’re strong and patient, and you have that legendary Zen energy working in your favor.”
“I’m scared,” I admit. “When I imagined myself as a mom, there was always a dad, a husband, in that picture, and I was older.”
“Age doesn’t make a mother, and who says there won’t be a dad? A husband?” She twiddles the small engagement ring on her finger as she arches a brow.
Pen knows who the father is because I haven’t as much as kissed any other guy since Vegas. It’s not for lack of attention. There were a couple of guys I met over the Christmas break, at college parties, who would’ve happily taken me to their beds, but I already suspected I was pregnant, and I had zero interest in further complicating the situation.
“I’m not a little kid with a crush anymore, and I won’t entertain delusions. Ben might be willing to sign up for parental duties, but there’s no way he’s interested in being my husband.”
“You won’t know until you talk to him.” She purses her lips for a moment. “You are planning on telling him, right?”
I nod. “He has a right to know, and I owe it to my child to tell him. How he reacts and deals with it is on him then.” Kicking off my shoes, I rest my back against the arm of the couch, tucking my knees into my chest. “But I am scared that involving him could mean I’m opening me and my child to a world I know nothing about. You saw those men he was with.”
“I know, and you’re right to be concerned.”
Silence engulfs the room for a few minutes. “Do you think I should leave it alone then? Just do this myself?”
She drags her lower lip between her teeth. “I don’t envy your position, Sierra, but I can’t tell you what to do. It’s got to be your decision.” Reaching out, she clasps my clammy hands in her warm ones. “Just know that whatever you decide, you have my support, and I will help you as much as I can.”
Tears prick my eyes. “Thank you, Pen. I really needed to hear that.” I sniff, wiping a couple of errant tears from my cheeks. Pregnancy hormones are no joke. It’s like they are directly connected to my tear ducts. “I was thinking about this on the way over. I feel like I must tell him. At some point, my child will ask who their daddy is. How could I live with myself if I kept him or her away from Ben because of my suspicions? I could be wrong. Just because Scarface Salerno is clearly part of the mob doesn’t necessarily mean Ben is too.” I know I’m likely grasping at straws, but I’m trying to justify it so I do the right thing.
“Do you know how to reach him?”
I shake my head.
“We can Google him.” She grabs her iPad from the side table. “If he’s got connections to the mob, there’s bound to be something online about him.”
“I’ve been tempted to Google him plenty of times,” I admit. “But I’ve held back because he told me to forget about him, and I worried I might find something I didn’t like.”
Whether he is in the mafia or just has mafia connections, Ben is a dangerous man. I saw enough to know it, and I hope I’m doing the right thing here. Because protecting my baby is my only priority, and if that means I end up having to keep this a secret from my baby daddy, then I won’t hesitate to do it.
11
SIERRA
I move in closer to Pen on the couch as she Googles his name, watching pages upon pages uploading.
“He sure gets around,” Pen mutters. There’s an edge to her tone and a look of disgust on her face as she scrolls through images of him with various women. The photos are taken at prestigious events or glitzy balls, and the women are all stunning. It’s no wonder he dismissed me so readily if these are the type of women he usually dates. Models, politician’s daughters, socialites, and successful businesswomen. Blondes, brunettes, redheads. He doesn’t appear to discriminate, as long as they are beautiful.
Ignoring the sinking feeling in my gut, I urge Pen to move forward, pointing at an article in a leading business magazine about Caltimore Holdings. I read it aloud.
“Bennett Mazzone, son of Angelo Mazzone and the late Jillian Carver, has been making waves in New York as the newly-appointed CEO of Caltimore Holdings. Caltimore Holdings is the business empire founded by his great-grandfather in the nineteen twenties. Initially focused on construction, shipping, and transportation, under Angelo Mazzone’s stewardship, the company also ventured into the retail and service industry, being full or part owner in a host of different restaurants, clubs, and casinos. In a surprising yet bold move, Bennett Mazzone’s first maneuver as CEO was a hostile takeover of IT company FistMine. Does this signal plans to move Caltimore away from its traditional core businesses or is Mazzone supplementing their existing billion-dollar empire with smart investments in tech-savvy industries with huge growth potential? Only time will tell. Key Caltimore employees we spoke to said Mazzone has ambitious plans for overhauling every aspect of the company and strong ideas about modernizing the brand. Feared as much as he is admired, it’s clear Bennett Mazzone is a force to be reckoned with and a man to be watched.”
“Huh.” Pen rubs a spot between her brows. “It seems like he’s a legit businessman.”
“And a CEO at twenty-nine.” I can’t help but be impressed. “Still, you can’t believe everything you read on the internet.”
We spend another half hour trawling through the web, but we don’t find anything linking Ben to the mafia. There is also no mention of how he came to find his father or why he just disappeared from Illinois eight years ago. The Caltimore Holdings website has a run-of-the-mill bio that says plenty but tells you nothing.
Pen prints off the address to the main Calti
more Holdings offices in Midtown Manhattan. “Considering we can’t find any personal address for him, you’ll have to go to his place of work and hope you can get a meeting with him.”
“I’ll hang around outside until he makes an appearance if it comes down to it.”
“I bet someone in the IT department of Lawson Pharma has skills you could use,” she suggests.
I bark out a laugh. “You’re not seriously suggesting I tell my father before I tell Ben?”
“I was more thinking out loud,” Pen says, pulling her legs up onto the couch. “When are you planning on telling your family?”
“Never?” I joke. “If I thought I could get away with it, I’d abscond overseas. Get a fake ID and hide.”
She shoots me a sympathetic look. “They’ll come around.”
“Have you met my father?” My voice betrays my disbelief. “There is no part of him that will ever be okay with any part of this. Ever.” I might not know how Ben will react to the news, but I know with certainty that my father will hate this. “I’m the mistake they were never meant to have. In his eyes, his mistake will just be giving birth to another mistake. You know how anal he is. Having a child out of wedlock is committing a mortal sin to him. It’s just another way I’m making him look bad in front of the world.”
“Your father is an ass.”
“Yup. And he’ll never change. He’ll probably disown me. God knows, he threatens to kick me out at least once a month.”
“Oh my God.” Pen sits up straighter, her eyes popping wide. A wicked grin slips over her mouth. “Saskia is going to throw an epic hissy fit when she discovers you slept with Ben and now you’re having his baby.”
I sigh. “I know. It will be a real sore point because she hasn’t had a baby yet.” As much as I dislike my sister, and we aren’t close in any way, I never want to deliberately hurt her. And this will hurt her. She’s been married to Felix for over seven years, and according to Mom, they’ve been trying to have kids for the past four years with no success. “Knowing Saskia, she will accuse me of doing this on purpose just to piss her off.”
“Damn straight. She has always been competitive with you. I think it’s jealousy.”
I crank out a laugh. “Are you kidding? Why on earth would she be jealous of me? She’s the one with the business degree from U of C, a rich, handsome husband, gorgeous house, and a promising career at Lawson Pharma. She is also the apple of our father’s eye. As far as he is concerned, she can do no wrong.”
“She’s a fucking bitch,” Pen seethes.
“Of the highest order,” I agree. “Dishonesty and sucking ass are traits my father seems to covet over truth and authenticity.” I check the time on my watch, and it’s getting late. I swing my legs around. “Saskia is the least of my worries now.” I’ll deal with my problems, one at a time. “I need to book a flight to New York and prepare to tell my teen crush he put a bun in my oven.”
* * *
“You’re what?” Tony stares at me like I’m pooping rainbows from my ass.
“Pregnant. I’m having a baby.”
He blinks profusely as horror washes over his face. I know he’s wondering why I’m telling him this. “The guy in Vegas?” he surmises.
I nod. “I’m sorry, Tony.” We both know what this means for his job.
“Don’t apologize.” He drags his hands through his hair. “Shit.” His Adam’s apple bobs in his throat as he leans his elbows on the Formica tabletop.
“Hot tea and a cappuccino,” the waitress says, setting our drinks on the table.
“Thanks.” I offer her a terse smile.
“Lemme know if you need anything else.” She saunters off, swaying her hips.
We’re tucked into the back booth of my favorite little coffee place, a few blocks from Loyola. It’s quiet at this time of night, like I knew it would be.
“How long have you known?” he asks as I slide his coffee to him.
“I’ve suspected for a few weeks, but I only took a test earlier today.” I blow across the top of my mug.
“Will he stand by you?” he asks before taking a mouthful of his drink.
“I don’t know. I need to go to New York to tell him.” I wrap my hands around my mug, letting the warmth sink into my skin. “Which is where you come in. I was hoping you’d come with me and that we can keep it from my father.” He opens his mouth to speak, and I raise one hand. “Just hear me out, please.”
He clamps his lips shut, nodding.
“You know as soon as my father hears I got knocked up, he is quite likely to murder both of us. So, I have a plan.” I take a sip of my tea, watching the wariness creeping into Tony’s eyes. “Hey, give me some credit here. I could’ve escaped and traveled to the Big Apple alone, but I promised you I wouldn’t sneak off again, and I keep my promises.” I lean across the table, glancing around the room, ensuring no one is paying us any attention. “Here’s what I’m proposing.” I lower my voice. “You will help me plan this trip without anyone knowing. You’ll come with me and cover our tracks. After, I’ll return to Illinois alone. You should stay in New York and keep far away from Chicago. I’ll give you cash to keep you on your feet until you find a new position.”
He stares at me in shock for a minute. “Why would you do that for me?”
“Because you’ve been good to me and you don’t deserve to suffer the consequences of my poor decision-making. Father won’t just fire you. He’ll ensure your name is blacklisted so you can’t find work in Chicago. There is no point returning to face that. Let me help you. I have more than enough money to make sure you’re comfortable.”
Mom’s parents were billionaires. Lawson Pharma was their company until they died in a car accident a couple of years after Mom married Dad, and then Father took over as CEO. My sisters and I were left a substantial inheritance, because Mom was an only child and there was no one else for my grandparents to leave their wealth to. They set up a group trust fund, leaving instructions to divide it equally among their grandchildren. I only found out about it when I was sixteen, and when I turned twenty-one, I got access to the money. Between that and the allowance my parents have been paying me every month, I have more than I know what to do with.
I know I’m fortunate. If I’m on my own with this baby, at least I won’t have any financial worries.
“Sweetheart.” He pats my hand over the table. “I’m touched you would be willing to do that for me. But I won’t run from my responsibilities. I will face your father like a man and accept the consequences of my actions.”
I open my mouth to argue, but he shakes his head.
“You won’t dissuade me, Sierra. But I will help you. I have nothing left to lose. My allegiance is to you. I will make the necessary arrangements and escort you to and from New York. Keeping you safe will remain my priority until your father strips me of my duty.”
“Thank you.” I squeeze his hand. I will miss Tony. “I would like to leave on Friday morning and return Saturday afternoon.” I will tell my mother I’m going out with Esme and Pen after school and staying the night at their place. She won’t question me as it’s a normal occurrence.
“As you wish.” Tony nods.
There’s no going back now. I have no clue how the conversation with Ben will go down. All I know is my life is going to change either way.
12
SIERRA
“It’s right there,” I tell Tony, pointing at the impressive glass high-rise on the corner of 57th Street between Fifth and Sixth Avenue.
“Trust you to get knocked up by a Caltimore Holdings employee,” he mumbles under his breath. He had a funny look on his face earlier when I gave him the address to input into the GPS.
“Why? What do you know about this company?” I don’t bother correcting his error. He’ll find out it’s the CEO, and not an employee, in due course.
“They are shady as fuck,” he cryptically replies. Tony clearly knows something, but I don’t have time to drill him for intel now.
“I’ll see if I can make an appointment while you park,” I say, opening the car door before he can object and stepping out onto the sidewalk.
“Don’t move from here.” He jabs his finger in my direction. “Stay put until I return.”
“I’ll wait in the reception area while you park the rental. I promise.” I doubt I’ll be in any danger in such a public place. I close the door, and he glides out into the traffic.
The building must have been renovated in more recent years, I think, as I stride in the direction of the swinging entrance doors. It’s very modern looking with full floor-to-ceiling windows, and it extends high into the sky, beyond my eyesight. I’m betting there is an exquisite view over the city and Central Park from the top floor. I’m also betting that’s where Ben’s office is located.
I’m a few feet from the door when a group of three men and one woman emerges from the building through a side door. I instantly spot Ben, with his cell to his ear, walking in between two bulky dudes. All three men are wearing black suits and dark expressions. The woman is talking animatedly to Ben, looking harried as she points at papers in her hands while struggling to keep up with the men’s long-legged pace in her tight skirt and high heels.
Shit. I’m too far away for him to notice me, and I don’t want to call out to him and cause a scene. I was hoping for a private meeting where I could tell him the news with just us in the room.
I’m undecided on what to do when I see a large black SUV pull up to the curb. My legs act of their own accord as I turn around, walking briskly toward the line of taxis idling by the curb at the side street. I can’t let Ben leave without following him. It’s after two on a Friday. He might not return to the office, and I don’t know if he works weekends. This could be my only chance to talk to him.
Condemned to Love:  Page 9
