I watch as he physically restrains himself from losing his shit, watching the anger retreat on his face, replaced with an emotionless look I’m getting used to seeing. His shoulders relax, and his voice is level when he speaks.
“My men will be living in one of the houses across the street. Frank and Alessandro will guard you during the day and whenever you step out of your house. Ian will watch over the house at night from their living room. My security expert will install panic buttons in each room here which will link to my men’s house, and they will have access to the camera feeds as well. If you need them, you press one of those buttons, and they will be here in less than a minute.”
“I don’t understand.” I glance out the window at the houses across the road. “None of my neighbors are selling.”
“Everyone is open to selling for the right price. Leo is working on it. By nightfall, one of your neighbors will be gone, and I will own their house.”
My jaw slackens, and my mouth hangs open. He bleeds confidence and arrogance, enough to make it happen. Looking at this version of Ben, it’s so hard to reconcile him with the Ben of my youth. He is as far removed from that Ben as you can get. I wonder if there is any of the kindhearted bad boy with a chip on his shoulder left in him.
“Anything else?” I ask.
“No one can know I’m his father. Not yet. Not your family. Not the school. Not Rowan’s teacher.” He practically hisses the word. Dion is a sore spot. Good to know.
“I won’t tell my boyfriend, but I’m not telling Rowan either. He’s only five, and we can’t ask him to keep such a big secret. Besides, I think he should get used to you as a friend first.” He nods, and I release the breath I was holding. I was prepared for that to be our biggest argument, so I’m pleased he isn’t fighting me on it.
Ben clasps his hands together on top of the table. “Has he ever asked about his dad? Where does he think he is?”
I chew on the inside of my mouth, squirming a little on my seat. “A month after he started preschool was the first time he asked me about his daddy,” I explain. “I didn’t want to lie to him, but I couldn’t exactly tell him the truth either.”
“Spit it out, Sierra.” He drills me with an intense stare I feel all the way to the tips of my toes.
“I told him his daddy was someone I used to know but we had lost contact and I didn’t know how to find you. I told him I was sure if his daddy knew about him that he would want to be in his life and that maybe at some time in the future, when he was older, he might get a chance to meet him.”
“Were you ever going to tell me?” he asks, looking pained. “If I hadn’t discovered the truth, would you have ever told me?”
I brace myself for this admission because there’s no doubt this will infuriate Ben. “No. I didn’t believe it was in Rowan’s best interests, but I was planning on telling him when he was eighteen so he could make his own decision then.”
His entire body is shaking with visible rage, and I’m betting he’s back to wanting to throttle me again. He starts unrolling the sleeves of his shirt. “Two final things.” His cold tone matches the icy look on his face as he dips his hand into the inside of his jacket. “I’m replacing your car with an armored SUV.” He pulls a handgun out of his jacket pocket, setting it down on the table. My pulse spikes, and adrenaline instantly floods my body. “And I’m giving you this.”
“I don’t want it. I don’t want a gun in the house with Rowan.”
“You’re taking it.” He gnashes his teeth, and his expression brokers no argument. Standing, he snatches the gun up and walks around the table to me. “Find someplace safe to put it where Rowan can’t find it but it’s still within easy reach should you need it. Make sure you carry it in your purse or on your person anytime you step foot out of the bungalow.” Taking my hand, he places the gun in my palm, curling my fingers around it.
It’s lighter than it looks, but it still feels like a cold, dead weight in my hand. “I don’t know anything about guns, and I have no desire to learn. Why are you assigning us bodyguards if I’m going to need to protect myself?” I put it down on the table, not wanting to touch it anymore.
“I have powerful enemies, Sierra, and it’s smart to know how to defend yourself.”
I exhale heavily. I hate this. My life was perfect. Everything was going great until my stupid sister had to go and mess everything up. “I know how to defend myself. I have taken self-defense classes for years.”
“That might protect you against petty thieves and would-be rapists, but a trained mafia soldier would restrain you within seconds with ease.” He drags a hand through his hair, messing up the perfectly coiffed strands. A few waves of dark hair fall across his brow, and it’s sexy as hell.
I hate that I notice.
I hate even more that I like it.
My feelings for Ben are a clusterfuck of epic proportions. Which is something I need to unravel and put in a neat box labeled “my son’s father” so I’m not tempted to put him into any other boxes.
“Alessandro will teach you how to use it,” he says, putting his jacket on and buttoning it. He towers over me, like this force of nature that has just swept into my life, eviscerating everything in its path. I stand, not liking the feeling. “I’ll drop by tomorrow to see Rowan,” he adds. “I already told him I was a friend of Saskia’s and that I knew you when you were younger, so we should stick to that story.”
“We should stay here,” I say because I don’t want to risk being seen with him around the town.
“Agreed.”
I nod, and awkward tension filters into the air.
He clears his throat, shoving his hands in his pants pockets. “I’ve seen your bank statements, so I know money isn’t an issue, but I’m his father. I want to pay child support. I’ve instructed my personal accountant to make a deposit to your account next week. Going forward, a regular monthly deposit will be made.”
Just as I was starting to lose my anger, it returns full force, slapping me in the face. “I don’t want your dirty money!” I hiss, prodding my finger in his chest.
An amused grin spreads across his mouth, and I want to scream. “I run several successful legitimate businesses. I assure you my money is about as dirty as yours.”
He has an answer for everything. It’s infuriating. “You truly have no shame,” I seethe. How dare he invade my privacy like this. He has no right. “Next, you’ll be telling me you know my bra size.”
His eyes lower to my chest, and I scowl, wanting to wrap my arms around myself to deprive him of the view. But I won’t give him the satisfaction of letting him know how much he is getting to me either, so I don’t move a muscle.
“You were definitely a B cup in Vegas, but I’m guessing you’re a C cup now.” He steps a little closer, and though my instinct is to fall back, I stand my ground, refusing to let this asshole intimidate me again. Bending down, he presses his warm mouth to my ear. “I would need to conduct a physical exam to make an accurate assessment.”
I push him away, glaring at him. “You’re a pig.”
His lips pull up at the corners. “I don’t remember you complaining in Vegas. In fact, I distinctly remember you begging me to suck harder on your nipples as I plowed my cock into your greedy pussy.”
“Get out!” I bark, pointing at the door. “Just go.”
He winks, and I invoke every shred of willpower I possess not to lunge at him and gouge out his eyeballs.
“Until tomorrow.” He gives me a curt nod before exiting my kitchen, and I slump back in my chair, relieved he is gone but a little disappointed too.
22
SIERRA
“Did you get all your shopping done?” Serena asks an hour later when I show up at her house to collect Rowan.
“Uh, yeah. Thanks.” I hate lying to my sister, but it’s safer if she doesn’t know.
“The kids are in the movie room,” she says as I enter the ornate lobby of her expansive home. “But I warned Rowan you were o
n your way.”
Under the harsh glare of the bright hallway, the swelling on Serena’s cheek is more obvious. The silk scarf tied around her neck has slipped a little, and the edge of the bruising is evident. “Are you sure you’re okay?” I quietly ask as we pad down the corridor.
“I’m fine.” She dismisses my concern like she has the couple other times I’ve noticed injuries on her face and body.
“You’re not fine.” Gently, I take her elbow, forcing her to stop. “I know Alfred is doing this. You don’t have to say it for me to know the truth. You should leave him, Serena. I know you’re not happy.”
She wrenches her arm from my grip, snorting. “What the hell has happiness got to do with anything?”
“Happiness is a basic human right. You deserve to be happy.”
“I am happy,” she lies. “I adore my kids, and I get to be a stay-at-home mom. That’s all I’ve ever wanted.” If it’s all she’s ever wanted, I would like to know why she wasted years in college earning a business degree she clearly hated and why she worked for the accounting department of Lawson Pharma for eighteen months even though it clearly tore strips off her sanity.
Serena and I have grown super close since I got pregnant, but some days I still feel like I don’t know her. Don’t get me wrong. She’s been a godsend. Mom, Serena, Pen, and Esme got me through my pregnancy and those tough first few months, and I’m very grateful. I love that Rowan is close to his cousins, and I enjoy our weekly meetups as much as he does.
But I don’t get it. I don’t get why Serena chose Alfred in the first place or why she stays with him when he treats her like dirt. The only positive is he is away a lot. “You are wealthy in your own right, and you could still be all those things without him.”
“Sierra, I know you mean well, but just drop it.” She stalks off, and I hurry after her.
“Why do you put up with it? Damn it, Serena.” I tug on her arm, stopping her before she opens the door to the movie room. “You are worth more than this. You deserve more than this!”
“I don’t have a choice!” she cries. Pain swims in her tired eyes. “You don’t understand, Sierra.”
“So, enlighten me.”
Her mouth opens and closes before she pulls me into a hug. “He’s my husband. I promised to love, honor, and obey him until the day I die, and that is what I will do.”
I pull back, frustrated and pissed off on her behalf, but I know when to let an argument go. This is not one I can win, and I can’t force her to make a decision just because I believe it’s the right one. She has to reach that point herself. “I love you, and I’m always here for you, Serena. No matter what. If you ever want to tell me the truth or you ever need me, I’m here.”
Tears prick her eyes as she folds her arms over her chest. “I know, Sierra, and it means a lot to me.”
* * *
“Who is that?” Serena asks a few minutes later, pointing behind my head. I’m wrestling Rowan out the front door, trying to get him into the car before he totally goes crazy. Predictably, he doesn’t want to leave yet, and he’s currently putting up one hell of a fight.
“That’s my new bodyguard,” I confirm as Alessandro gets out of the car.
“Damn. Why couldn’t our bodyguards have looked like that when we were horny teenagers?” she jokes.
“Because we were horny teenagers,” I deadpan.
She looks at Alessandro, and their eyes meet. He nods respectfully in her direction but makes no move to come any closer. A faint blush stains her cheeks before she looks away.
Rowan quiets in my arms, turning his head to watch as Alessandro opens the back door for him.
“Is he one of Dad’s guys?” Serena asks. “I don’t recall seeing him before.”
“No. He’s someone I hired myself from a private security firm,” I blurt, thinking up an excuse on the spot.
A fresh wave of tension tightens her shoulders. “Why? Has something happened?”
I set Rowan down on his feet, satisfied he has stopped fighting. He’s too busy giving Alessandro the once-over to care that we’re going anymore. “Nothing has happened. I guess I understand now why Father is so anal about protection. I have a child of my own, and I’d do anything to protect him. I just felt it was time we both had a bodyguard again, so I did something about it myself.”
“I have my own bodyguard?” Rowan asks, his eyes popping wide.
“Yes.” I tweak his nose, smiling as his eyes light up. “His name is Frank, and you will meet him back at our house.”
“This is so cool!” He jumps up and down. “I have a bodyguard just like Romeo now!”
Serena and I trade smiles. “If I had known that’s all it’d take, I’d have told him in the movie room and saved myself an ordeal.” I had to practically drag Rowan away from his best friend.
“He’s so cute.” Serena stares adorably at her godson, and I pull her in for one last hug.
“I think so, but I’m probably biased.”
Rowan is babbling away to an amused-looking Alessandro when I climb behind the wheel. Alessandro tried to drive, at first, until I set him straight. He’s my bodyguard, not my driver. He can protect me from the passenger seat while I retain some independence.
“Do you know Frank?” Rowan asks, as I wave to Serena before she closes the door.
“I do,” Alessandro replies.
“Does he have drawings on his arms too?” Rowan inquires.
Alessandro’s brow puckers, and I smile. “He means your tattoos.”
“Eh, no. Frank doesn’t have any ink on his arms.”
“I have ink!” Rowan says, excitement bubbling in his tone. He strains against the straps of his car seat as he leans forward. “My mommy and me have lots and lots of ink and paints and clay and playdough in our art studio. You wanna see my art studio, Alesso?”
“His name is Alessandro,” I explain, grinning.
“I know, Mom.” Rowan rolls his eyes before eyeballing Alessandro. “But I like Alesso better. I’m gonna call you Alesso, Alesso.”
I glance sideways at Alessandro, watching him fight a smile. I peer at my son in the mirror, smiling. “Alesso it is.”
* * *
“Let me get this straight,” Esme says later that night from her sprawled position on my couch. She gulps a mouthful of her red wine. “In less than twenty-four hours, Bennett Carver—”
“Mazzone,” I correct, topping up Pen’s nearly-empty glass.
“Whatever.” Esme flaps her hands around. “In less than a day, he has managed to completely turn your world upside down. Bodyguards. Security cameras. Child support, new car on the way, and he’s even got his men shacked up in the house across the street. He’s an asshole, but I’ve got to hand it to him—he’s a fucking fast worker. It’s impressive.”
“It’s annoying.” I slurp my wine as I flop down on the second couch alongside Pen.
“As usual, you’re missing the point, Esme.” Pen drills her with a look. Those two still fight like cats and dogs, but they would go to the ends of the Earth for one another if the chips were down. “Ben can’t just show up here and railroad Sierra into doing what he wants.”
“To be fair, he’s trying to protect us, and he backed down on the New York plan pretty fast.” I tuck my knees underneath me.
“Now you’re defending him?” Pen says, her tone dripping with incredulity.
“No. I’m…” I rub a tense spot between my brows. “I’m mad and confused and guilt-stricken and relieved and impressed and hurt and a million different things.” I tilt my head to the side, eyeballing Pen. “It’s a complicated situation. One part of me feels guilty that I kept Rowan from him. Especially when I see the lengths Ben is going to, to keep us safe. That part of my brain is questioning everything I’ve done.”
“You did what you felt was right,” Esme says, sitting up against the arm of the couch. “And you shouldn’t feel guilty for that. You were protecting your son.”
“You were terrified afte
r what you discovered in New York, and you were right to be afraid. If I was in your shoes, I would have done exactly the same thing,” Pen says.
“Everything is going to change now.” I take another sip of my wine. “And I’m scared.”
“Ben won’t let anything happen to you or Rowan,” Esme reassures me. “At least, in that regard, he hasn’t let you down. Imagine how it would’ve felt if he had wanted nothing to do with Rowan?”
“That might have been better,” Pen murmurs.
“I thought so at first,” I agree. “But Ben is right. It wouldn’t change the facts. Rowan is always going to be at risk because of the blood that flows through his veins.”
“What’s your new bodyguard like? Is he hot?” Esme waggles her brows.
“What has that got to do with anything?” Pen asks, rolling her eyes and muttering under her breath.
“She’s virtually married to him now,” Esme quips, and I almost choke on my wine. “It helps if he’s easy on the eyes.”
“He’s definitely easy on the eyes.”
“Oh my God.” Esme spills some of her wine on the floor as she swings her legs around. “I know what you should do! You should seduce him! Imagine how fucking pissed Ben would be if you screwed one of his employees.”
“Number one: I’m in a relationship and I don’t cheat. Number two: Ben would probably murder Alesso and me if we had sex. Number three: Alesso is loyal to Ben and fairly aloof. I would have zero success seducing him. And number four: We’re not in high school anymore. Doing something so juvenile is beneath me.”
Esme pouts, lifting her legs back onto the couch. “Well, that’s no fun. I was hoping to live vicariously through you.”
“Don’t tell me you’re going through a dry spell?” Pen inquires, crossing her feet at the ankles.
“We can’t all be as lucky as you and find our soul mate in high school.”
Condemned to Love:  Page 17
