But I paused.
“Why are you having lunch with him?” I whispered to myself.
I drew in a deep breath and backed down the driveway. No use in asking questions I didn’t have answers to. I drove down the road and saw Jasper’s truck pull up behind me, with Piper sticking her head out the window.
Getting to the café wasn’t that big of a deal. Even getting a seat outside wasn’t that big of a deal. But getting Piper not to bark at every living thing that passed by was.
“Down. Piper. Cut it out,” Jasper hissed.
“She do that a lot?” I asked.
“No, actually. I’ve never seen her this way. Piper, heel.”
She whimpered and lay down, but her eyes were on everything, every person, every movement, every passer-by.
“She gonna be okay?” I asked.
Jasper scratched behind her ear. “Yeah, she should be good now.”
We ordered our food but didn’t talk much. Even when we got our food, things were quiet. It wasn’t strained or awkward, I just didn’t know what to say.
“So, you run the library now?” Jasper finally asked.
“Mm, yes. Been the head librarian for a bit now. Ever since Miss Honeycutt passed away.”
“When did that happen?”
“Six or so years ago.”
“You’ve been the head librarian for six years?”
I smiled. “Yep. That place is my domain and my solace.”
“What, uh, what happened to the computer science stuff?”
I paused. “I guess things change.”
His eyes searched mine. “Yeah, they do.”
“So, uh, what about you? A police officer, huh? How did that come about?”
“It’s really all that translated into the real world from the Marines.”
“So, you were in the Marines. How long?”
“Only one tour. A bit over four years.”
Don’t push. Just let it come. He’s a veteran, Khloe. He deserves your respect, at the very least.
The ticket for our lunch came, and he quickly swiped it up. And while I fought him on it, he refused to let me pay or split the check. It was so like Jasper, even if both of us had changed. Even as a kid, he’d never let me do things like that if I didn’t have to. Taking me to get ice cream with his allowance money. Buying me coffees that we snuck underneath our parents’ noses on the weekends. He’d always paid for them, insisting he foot the bill.
“Thanks for recommending this place. The food’s good,” Jasper said.
“I’m glad you liked it. How was your sandwich?” I asked.
“Very good. Thanksgiving, but in sandwich form. I’ll have to come back and get another one soon.”
He smiled at me, and that smile went straight to my gut. If I wasn’t careful, I was going to lose my heart all over again.
Chapter 10
Jasper
My eyes popped open, and I stared up at my bedroom ceiling. Something shifted against my chest, and I jumped, feeling Piper scurry to my side. She tucked her nose against my neck, nuzzling and massaging like she had been trained to do. As the adrenaline rush wore off, I groaned.
Must’ve had a nightmare last night.
I didn’t remember it. Thank fuck for small favors. I sighed as I inched myself up, with the sunlight barely peeking through the curtains. My feet touched down onto the cold floor, and I scrubbed my hands over my face. My stubble was growing out, reminding me that I needed to shave.
As I stood, my back twinged. I needed a new damn mattress.
“Fuck,” I groaned.
A yawn escaped from my lips, unhinging my jaw. Piper jumped off the bed, already making her way downstairs. She wanted food, most likely. Time to go outside. But I wasn’t ready to move yet. I wasn’t ready to be awake.
What I wouldn’t have done for eight nice hours of straight sleep.
These days, sleep was hard to come by. If it wasn’t being interrupted by a nightmare, my body was running off a clock it had lived on for years of my life. Up before dawn. Dressed and ready for physical training. Back at my barracks and showering before the first morning formation. All of that occurring before eight in the morning. It was as if I didn’t have the capability to sleep past five-thirty any longer. Six, if I was lucky. And as the morning sun continued to creep around the blackout curtains of my teenage bedroom, I forced myself to get a move on, just as Piper barked.
“I’m coming, I’m coming.”
I slid my feet into my slippers. They were warm, blanketing my feet against the cold of the floor. The upstairs area always stayed cooler than the rest of the house. And damn it, I needed a better mattress. I stretched my hands over my head, feeling my entire back pop into place.
“Oh, yeah. That’s the spot,” I groaned.
Then, Piper barked again.
“I’m coming! Impatient thing, you.”
As I shuffled down the stairs, everything from yesterday came flooding back. The panic attack in front of Khloe. The way she’d helped me through it. How embarrassed I had been afterward. And now, this apparent nightmare that forced Piper to my side last night. I thought I had been making progress back in Vegas with my therapist. But, apparently, that wasn’t enough. I knew I needed to eventually find a therapist in the area. However, I figured I had a bit of time before that needed to happen.
Move that task up the list of priorities.
I let Piper out the back door before letting it hang open. I filled her bowls up with water and food, then patted down my body. Fucking hell, my cell phone was back upstairs. I groaned to myself as I started up the coffeepot. I needed to talk to someone. Anyone. Someone back in Vegas who would pick up the emergency line my therapist sent me with. With the smell of coffee filling the air, I shuffled back upstairs. I reached for my phone and sat on the edge of the bed, scrolling until I found the number.
It wasn’t as if I had to scroll far, though. I only had ten contacts on my phone.
“Come on. Pick up.”
I stood from the bedside and walked back downstairs. The smell of coffee lured me to the cabinets. The damn line rang and rang for what felt like an eternity until, finally, a familiar voice picked up.
“Jasper? That you?”
I sighed. “Dr. Tomb. Thank fuck.”
She sighed. “Everything all right?”
“I woke you up, didn’t I?”
“No, no, no. Don’t go doing all of that. Come on. What’s up? I hear it in your voice.”
I walked over with my mug of coffee, let Piper in, and kicked the back door closed.
“I’ve already had two panic attacks since I’ve been here,” I said.
“Two of them?”
“And a nightmare last night. I think. Though I don’t remember it.”
“And you’ve been there, what? A week or so?”
“Give or take.”
“All right. Well, that’s still not as frequent as your attacks were here just a bit ago.”
“But it’s not as good as I was doing.”
“Okay. Walk me through the triggers. What happened when the first one took place?”
I sat down at the kitchen table and walked her through everything. The issue with my science teacher and that kid over his bike. Going through the shed yesterday. Unlocking it for the first time and smelling the intermingled scents of my parents. As if they had been sitting in there for twelve years, just waiting for me to open the damn door. I didn’t mind shedding a few tears. Especially not with Dr. Tomb. She had been a godsend after returning to Vegas from my tour of duty. With specializations in helping vets assimilate back into civilian life, she was the one who recommended that I get Piper.
Among other things.
“All right, are you breathing?” she asked.
I nodded. “Yes, ma’am.”
“Good. Keep them even. The first thing you need to do is remember to breathe. I know you don’t like that—”
“It’s not that I don’t like it, it’s just—�
�
“Remember to breathe, Jasper. That’s the first thing these attacks rid you of. So, fight against that. The second thing you need to do is hang up with me and get on the phone to the VA in Hartford. I’ll put in a recommendation for you the second I get into my office to do some work today. So, you shouldn’t have any issues getting a regular therapist to put you on their docket. I know a couple of good ones in that area that work with veterans specifically. I’ll make sure to specify them on the recommendation.”
“I appreciate that, Doc.”
“And one more thing.”
“What’s that?”
She sighed. “Remember to be kind to yourself. You’ve stepped back into a place that is filled with triggers you haven’t coped with yet. Remember what we said about your military service?”
I nodded. “I was running, not coping.”
“Exactly. You ran to the Marines to get away. You didn’t make the Marines some kind of a career goal. Now, you’re facing what you were running away from. Be kind to yourself. It’s going to take time to sift through all of this. Which is why you need a therapist near you to see once or twice a week.”
“Thank you so much for picking up.”
“Of course. And until you get these regular appointments going, you can call this number anytime. Okay?”
I ran my hand through my hair. “Yeah, yeah. Thank you. Really.”
“All right. I’m going to get myself into the office and get that referral put in. Call the VA. Make that something you do today.”
“I will. I promise.”
“Good. We’ll talk soon.”
I went to hang up the phone, but she called to me. “Oh! Jasper!”
I paused. “Yeah?”
“You’ve worked through some serious things this past week or so. Treat yourself to something nice today. Something that will remind you that you do deserve nice things in your life.”
I grinned. “I promise.”
I hung up the phone with her and finished my coffee. A new mattress. That could be my treat to myself. I mean, I needed it anyway. So, why not? I finished my coffee and cleaned myself up for the day. I shaved, especially so I didn’t have to do it in the morning before work. I led Piper into the cab of the truck before climbing behind the wheel. Then, I set off into town, heading straight for the furniture store.
“Welcome to Olde Farms Furniture! Anything I can help you with?”
I smiled at the kind woman who approached me as I slid my hands into my pockets.
“Got any mattresses by any chance?” I asked.
“Actually, we just had a shipment come in the other day. Looking for any kind in particular?”
“One that doesn’t have springs.”
“Memory foam, it is.”
She led me into a small back room that had some mattresses on display. It was a meager display, but Canaan wasn’t known for its massive outlet stores or anything like that. The woman guided me over to a cloud-looking kind of thing and gestured for me to lie on it. When I did, I felt it molding around me, sucking me down and supporting my aching back as I gazed up at the ceiling.
Is this what heaven feels like?
“So, what do you think?” the woman asked.
“Does this require a box spring?” I asked.
“Nope. No springs. Just a platform frame.”
She helped me off the mattress, but I didn’t want to leave. I wanted to lie back down and close my eyes. That was the kind of mattress I needed. The kind I didn’t want to get up from. She pulled me into a corner and showed me all sorts of design imprints on the wall.
“How much?” I asked.
“Mattress is nine-fifty, and if you buy the two-year warranty, the platform frame comes free.”
I nodded. “I’ll take it, then.”
The woman started rounding up the troops, which really just looked like her three boys. It made me grin, though. A family-run business and a mother cracking her whip on the weekend to get her boys to learn the idea of hard work. It reminded me of my own mother, in a way. How she had me helping out around the house at such a young age and out in the yard with Dad, learning all sorts of things. Weed whacking. Mowing the grass. Planting flowers and setting concrete.
“There anything else you’re looking to get today?” the woman asked.
I shook my head. “No, I think that’s—”
My eyes settled on something shiny on the other end of the room. I made my way for it as the boys hauled the mattress and platform out to the bed of my truck. I crossed the room and stood in front of the television, taking in its sheer size.
“That’s a sixty-five-inch flat-screen curve. Just got a couple of ’em in last week.”
“You got any wall mounts for it?” I asked.
“Sure do. Though, they’re hard to mount. You need to follow the instructions to the letter.”
“I can do that.”
“I’ll add it to your total, then.”
I paused. “You got any coffee makers?”
The woman grinned. “I’ve got every kind you could possibly want.”
By the time I left that damn store, I had a mattress, the platform, the television with its wall mount, a very nice coffee maker, and a minifridge to put in my bedroom upstairs.
My next stop was the general store.
I needed more dog food as well as some basics to tide me over until I got to the grocery store. With how piled up the bed of my truck was, I wouldn’t be able to buy much. I picked up a few things I liked. A bag of strong coffee and some creamer. I picked up some frozen vegetables and a bit of meat. Some snacks, in case I wasn’t up for cooking a decent meal. I snatched a Crock-Pot up, figuring it might make meal prepping a bit easier on me during the harder days.
“Well, hey there, stranger.”
It shouldn’t have shocked me that I ran into Quinn at the general store, especially since her parents owned the place. She hugged me from behind, and I chuckled, patting her hands. I turned around, and she started taking things from my arms, carrying them up to the register.
“So, how’s your first week home been?”
I sighed. “Uh, it’s been a lot.”
She nodded. “I can only imagine. Oh, these frozen veggies are on sale. Buy one, get one. So, you can snag another two if you want.”
“Thanks. I’ll go do that.”
“And our steaks are marked down!”
“Appreciate it, Quinn.”
“And we have awesome venison jerky!”
I picked up a couple of each item she called out for me, especially since I didn’t feel like eating out again for a while. I already felt worn down, tired of people bombarding me. The growing need for space crept up my spine, and I felt myself about to spiral again.
“Deep breaths, Jasper. Just get home first. Okay?” I whispered to myself.
“You need any help?” Quinn asked.
I jumped at the sound of her voice. The steaks tumbled from my arms, and she yelped. Piper appeared at my side, sliding underneath my palm, bracing me for the impending attack. I got checked out as quickly as I could, beads of sweat dripping down my back. And as I carried my small haul to my truck, I tried my best to control my breathing.
Just get home. Just get home. Just get home.
I slammed into my truck and gripped the wheel. Piper curled next to me and moved her snout to my neck. She massaged while I breathed, trying to calm me down enough to drive. As I gazed out the window of my truck, I saw Kent pull up in his own car to the general store before Quinn came rushing out to give him a big hug.
I wonder how close those two are.
I didn’t stick around. I needed to get home and unload everything. Get my new bed set up. Get my new coffee maker plugged in. Get this meat in the freezer.
Get myself rooted again.
“Ready to go, Pipes?” I asked.
When she barked in approval, I cranked up the engine of my truck and headed home.
Chapter 11
Khloe<
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“And there’s my long-lost big sister.”
I rolled my eyes as Quinn’s voice hit my ears.
“Ha. Ha. Ha. Nice one,” I said.
“Well, you barely come around the house anymore. So, what else am I supposed to think?” she asked.
“I was there two days ago.”
“Yeah, while I was at work.”
I shrugged. “Not my fault you want to close the store instead of open it.”
“You know I’m not a morning person.”
“How do you do that, anyway? Sleep all day, close the general store, then go to the hospital and work your ass off?”
She smiled. “Takes talent, I guess.”
“No, you’re just crazy.”
She laughed. “I brought subs. You hungry?”
“Starving. We can eat in my office. Matt?”
“Already got the front covered. Go enjoy lunch,” he said.
I tugged my sister into my office and closed the door behind me. We pulled up chairs to my desk, and I cleared things off. The food she pulled out had my mouth watering.
“Oh, roast beef with pickles and extra mustard. You love me, don’t you?” I asked.
“You’re damn right, I do. Because that sandwich stinks. I don’t know how you eat that stuff,” Quinn said.
“You should talk, my office is going to smell like a tuna factory long after you leave,” I said.
We tucked into our lunches and fell into a comfortable silence for a few moments.
“Mm, lunch is my treat next time,” I said.
“Oh, speaking of treat, guess who came into the store yesterday?”
“Who?”
“Jasper.”
I paused. “Oh?”
She nodded. “Mhm. He was picking up a few things. And holy hell, he looked rough.”
I decided not to open my mouth about anything. “Well, he’s embarking on a high-stress job. One he worked back in a very high-stress city. He’s probably just tired. You know, still trying to settle in.”
“I don’t know. It seemed like more than that, you know?”
Dating My Best Friend: A Second Chance Romance Page 7
