I shrugged. “I mean, what if it was?”
“Is it?”
“Would it really be such a bad thing to date Quinn? She’s a good girl.”
Kent stomped on his brakes, and the two of us went jolting toward the front of the car.
“All right, touchy subject,” I breathed.
He white-knuckled the steering wheel. “Okay. Look. I get it. People are curious. This entire town likes to talk all the shit they want. But do you really not see the issue with this?”
I shrugged. “The issue with what?”
“She was John’s sister in law. And he was as protective of her as if she had been his own flesh.”
I furrowed my brow. “And? You were his best friend, so he obviously thought highly of you. It’s not like you want to date his wife.”
Kent shot me a look. “Never.”
I shrugged. “Okay, then. So what’s the big deal?”
Kent shook his head. “It’s just complicated.”
“Sounds like a bunch of bullshit to me. An excuse not to let yourself be happy.”
“What? You a shrink now?” he asked.
I sighed. “Look, I know what it looks like to deny yourself happiness. Whatever your reason is, I don’t know. Not my place to know unless you want to talk about it. But what I do know is this: Quinn likes you. A lot. And, Khloe is behind you two getting together. And if your best friend is trying to bring you two together in the first place, then what’s really holding you back?”
“Welcome to Micro’s! What can I get for you this morning?”
Kent grimaced at me, but I knew the groundwork had been laid. He rolled down his window and placed his order, and then I yelled over him to place my own.
“Just think about it and try to have a good time Thursday night. Okay?” I asked.
“Yeah, yeah,” he murmured.
Then, we paid for our shit, got our breakfast, and clocked in for the day in the cruiser.
Chapter 13
Khloe
Jasper: How’s your workday going?
I furrowed my brow at the text message but decided to respond.
Me: Quiet, just how I like it. What about yours?
It didn’t take him long to respond at all. Was he on some sort of a break?
Jasper: Made my first arrest this morning in town. Kent has me on a break to get a snack. Though, I think he’s using it as an excuse just to eat.
I giggled before I leaned back in my chair, deciding to take a break myself.
Me: Sounds like Kent. The way to his heart really is through his stomach.
Jasper: Oh, I laid the groundwork, by the way.
The floodgates opened, and we ended up texting back and forth throughout the day. The conversation morphed as easily as it used to, and soon we were talking about everything under the sun. Movies. Drama at the general store. Rumors he’d heard floating around the community since everyone talked to police officers around here. And it felt nice. It felt really nice to be able to talk to him again, to have some sort of access to him again, despite what happened between the two of us.
Though, I wondered if it would flow this easily Thursday evening.
I sighed as I looked at the clock. Already time for my lunch break. I wished Jasper a good day and put my phone up, then felt the grief fill my heart. I closed my eyes, my lower lip quivering as memories of that day came flooding back. John’s pale face. His body contorted on the ground. His cheek pressed into the pavement. His chest, unwavering.
“John,” I whispered.
The day passed by in a blur after that. Before I knew it, I had to clock out and lock down the library, turn off the lights, and run some errands. I drove on autopilot, lost in the recesses of my mind until a horn honked at me. I jolted back to life and found myself in the middle of the grocery store parking lot, blocking a space someone behind me wanted.
“Sorry! Sorry, I’m sorry.”
I waved at them and pulled ahead. I went and parked in back in order to force myself to walk. I needed the fresh air and time to collect myself. And I needed to pick up a few things anyway.
Sorry, Mom and Dad. I need more than a few staples.
This was the first time in years I’d be cooking a full meal for people, and I wanted to be able to impress. I grabbed a small cart and slowly walked the aisles, keeping my eyes out for any sort of inspiration. I didn’t want to do anything too easy. So, pot roast in a Crock-Pot was out of the question. Plus, that had been John’s favorite, and I didn’t need to be conjuring anything like that on Quinn and Kent’s evening.
“Khloe?”
I turned around at the sound of the familiar voice.
“Chief Nolan. Hey there,” I said.
He came over and gave me a hug before placing his hand on my shoulder like he always did whenever he was holding a conversation with someone.
“How are you doing?” he asked.
I nodded. “I’m okay. I got dinner for four tomorrow night at my place. So, I’m trying to find some inspiration.”
“Are you cooking that pot roast of yours?”
I internally winced. “I was thinking about doing something different. Like…”
“Steak?”
“Is that too stereotypical?”
He chuckled. “What if you did a surf and turf? Steak and some shrimp? Or a scampi?”
“Oh, lobster tail. All on the grill.”
“There you go. That sounds like a dinner I’d want to enjoy.”
“Well, maybe I’ll make you a plate and have it delivered.”
“A trade-off. My wife’s pound cake for a surf and turf dinner.”
I moaned. “Oh, Chief Nolan. You add in some of that homemade hot chocolate mix she makes every year for Christmas, and you have yourself a deal.”
He squeezed my shoulder. “Great. I’ll make sure she knows you’re coming by.”
He gave me one last hug before walking off, leaving me with a great idea for dinner.
After thirty minutes of finding all I needed, I walked back out to my car. The drive home felt a little less daunting, and I got home with enough daylight to unload the groceries from the car. I unpacked everything and got the steaks marinating. After everything else was put away, I paused.
I let my emotions guide me. Tonight would be rough. But it would be the first rough night in eight or nine months. A record in my world. I moved down the hallway of our ranch-style home, coming to the first room on my left. My hand settled on the doorknob. I felt tears rushing my eyes as my hand began to tremble. And when I tossed the door open, John’s scent filled my nostrils.
“Oh, God,” I whispered.
I flipped the light on and looked at the room, filled to the brim with John’s things. After he passed, I just moved his stuff in here. I didn’t have the heart to go through it and purge it. As my eyes settled onto his board games, I felt that all-too-familiar ache in my heart.
Maybe it’s time to move on now, Khloe.
The thought took my breath away. But it didn’t hurt. It just shocked me. The idea of actually going through this stuff. Of actually being ready to let go of him. I quickly closed the door and squeezed my eyes shut and shook my head.
“You don’t have to have the answers now,” I whispered to myself.
And yet, the only thing that had changed in three years was Jasper’s presence. Was he somehow helping me to grieve? Helping me to get past things? And if he was, what did that say about how much I loved John?
“You’re a terrible person,” I choked out.
Chapter 14
Jasper
I sat in bed with my laptop in my lap, waiting for Dr. Tomb to call. This would probably be our last call, so I wanted to make it a good one. I had myself prepared to talk about some heavy topics, things that had been floating around in my mind. But I also had some good things to talk about.
Like dinner tonight.
My laptop started ringing, and I quickly picked up the call. The video buffered, but I clearly saw
Dr. Tomb on the other end. I cleared my throat and slid my hands down my shirt. I wasn’t sure if she’d notice that I had already gotten dressed up for the evening. But I was prepared to unpack everything if she—
“Well, well, well. You look nice tonight, Mr. Willem.”
I grinned. “I was wondering if you’d notice.”
“I figured I’d catch you in your uniform still. What’s the occasion?”
“Well, I’ve got a dinner tonight to go to.”
“Oh? A nice dinner?”
I snickered. “Yeah, you could say that.”
“Well, why don’t you talk about it?”
We spent the next hour going over what I’d done the past few days since our last call and how I’d been getting on at work. She knew that it was always easier for me to manage my anxiety while working, which really didn’t make much sense since the job could be hectic. But for some reason, focusing on what I was doing when I was on patrol was always easier than simply navigating the world around me.
As we were winding up the conversation, I thanked the doctor for all the help she’d given me the past couple of years.
She grinned. “Have fun at your dinner, Mr. Willem. And remember: your past is only a harness if you allow it to be. This might be a good time to talk with Khloe about what happened all those years ago and give her some answers.”
“I know.”
“So, if it comes up, don’t shy away from it.”
“I won’t.”
“Good. Good to hear. You’ve been a wonderful patient.”
I barked with laughter. “You’re a terrible liar.”
“Goodbye, Mr. Willem.”
I hung up the Skype call, and I didn’t feel as weighed down as I usually did. I closed my laptop and slid out of bed, ready to get my ass on the road. I had fifteen minutes to get there before I was late.
“All right, Jasper. You got this,” I murmured to myself.
I decided not to take Piper with me, especially since Khloe seemed jumpy around her. I brushed Piper on the back before leaving her enough food and water. Then, I headed for my truck. The drive was easy, but it shocked me how tucked away she was in the woods. I passed by acres of trees and empty farmland before coming to a mailbox on the right-hand side of the road boasting of the house number I was looking for.
“I guess this is it,” I whispered.
I turned down the gravel driveway and inched my way back into the woods. The trees were thick, and even though the sky was filled with stars, not a single shred of light penetrated the canopy. This was where Khloe lived? I didn’t like her being all the way out here by herself. In the woods. Vulnerable. Isolated.
I pulled up to the house, and my headlights landed on the structure. It was a quaint little one-story place that looked more like a cottage than anything else. It made me grin, too. The house suited Khloe. Charming, but not decadent. The white trim and the navy blue wooden side paneling looked beautiful against the nighttime of the woods.
But as I continued scanning the property, my eyes landed on a tarp.
Not just the tarp, though, but the shining red thing underneath it. It seemed out of place, especially underneath an awning made for a car. I turned off my truck and slipped out. The world fell almost pitch-black around me until my movement caused some lights to kick on. I walked up to the tarp and lifted it up, taking stock of the bright red thing underneath it.
And when I saw the motorcycle, my eyes widened.
It must be her late husband’s.
Jealousy ripped through my body. Despite me not having a reason to be jealous, I felt it anyway. I dropped the tarp and pulled it down, covering the rest of the bike up. Khloe always deserved to have love. To find a love for the ages. And I hadn’t been there to give it to her.
I didn’t have a right to hold that against her.
“It’s a nice bike, isn’t it?”
I jerked around and saw Khloe standing on the front porch.
“I’m sorry. It just caught my eye.”
“Come on in. I’ve got a bottle of wine already open,” she said.
She motioned with her head, then walked back inside. I sighed heavily, wondering if I had already put my foot in it. She didn’t sound angry. But Khloe also wasn’t one to showcase her anger. Well, she hadn’t been one to do it—she sure as hell did it when I first got back into town.
The Khloe you know is from twelve years ago. She’s different now.
“Fuck,” I groaned.
I made my way into her house, and it made me smile. Damn it, this place suited her so much. The navy from the outside of the house carried on into the inside. The walls were navy, and the crown molding was white. The baseboards were white. Even the hardwood floors had a bright tint to them. To my left, the living room, with a bright blue accent wall where the television was mounted against its surface. To my right, a hallway, with the navy blue carrying all the way down its expanse toward a door at the end of it.
“Keep walking forward. Kitchen’s through here,” Khloe said.
I flickered my eyes along the walls. And while I saw nails embedded into studs, there were no pictures hanging on them. I furrowed my brow as I heard liquid being poured. I emerged into the kitchen, and there were a couple of stools to my right, curving around with the bar. The dining room table was a beautiful mahogany wood, complete with matching chairs and a small crystal chandelier hanging from the ceiling.
I couldn’t get over how this place matched Khloe so well.
“John let me decorate however I wanted,” she said.
I felt the glass of wine press into my palm as she stood in front of me.
“I can definitely see that,” I said. “It looks like you.”
“He was about as much of a man as any other man. Didn’t give a damn about outside appearances. Could’ve lived in his own filth, if you let him. And he was very attached to that bike out there. Always out there, tinkering with it whenever he could.”
“He sounds like a good man.”
She sipped her wine. “He was.”
I paused. “Listen, if you don’t want to—”
“When you told me you were sorry about my loss at that Friday event? I figured Kent had told you something. And for a while, I was upset about that. What happened to John is my business. It happened to me, and no one else had a right to tell you about that.”
“I know. I’m sorry.”
“It’s nothing for you to be sorry about. John was a good man. You would’ve liked him.”
“I’m sure I would have.”
“Did Kent tell you how he died?”
Chapter 15
Khloe
I held my breath, waiting for him to tell me all he knew. Because for all I knew, this town had filled him in on everything. I didn’t want this night to be about my tragedy, because the focus was Kent and Quinn. But Jasper had gazed at that bike for far too long. And I knew Jasper. Well, maybe not as well as I once knew him. But I knew he’d be asking himself about that bike all night, wondering about it, distracting him from the purpose of this dinner.
“Yes, Kent told me what happened to him.”
I nodded slowly. “Great.”
“If it makes you feel any bet—”
“It won’t. But I guess I shouldn’t have expected any differently from Kent. He was probably doing it to try and protect me, or explain something, or whatever it was he had on his mind. So, I’ll fill in the blanks.”
“You really don’t have to.”
I took another sip of my wine. “Maybe I want to?”
He nodded. “Then, I’m all ears.”
I sighed. “I actually met the bike before I met John. He was attending the community college I enrolled in, and I saw it parked in one of the back-parking lot spaces. I went over to admire it and ended up being late for class.”
He grinned. “Sounds like something you’d do.”
“Ha. Ha. Ha. Anyway, I came back out to look at the bike again, but it was gone. I figured that was
that. But it kept showing up. Every morning, at that exact same time. In that exact same spot.”
“So, you kept staring at it?”
“For a while. Until I figured out that its owner was in my class.”
He chuckled. “What class?”
“Intro to Economics. I failed it in spectacular fashion. Probably because I didn’t do much with my tutoring sessions other than stare at him.”
“Why did you stare at him during yo—?” Then, I saw it click in his stare. “Oh.”
I nodded. “Yeah.”
“John was your…?”
I sighed. “Yes, John was my professor. And before you get any sort of weird ‘sixty-year-old man hitting on an eighteen-year-old girl’ vibes, he was only twenty-seven. Just starting his teaching career.”
“Not a great way to start it.”
I shot him a look. “Maybe this was a bad idea.”
“No, no, no, no. Hey. I just—I’m sorry.”
I went to turn away from him before I felt something warm against my skin. It stopped me in my tracks, and the second I saw his hand wrapped around my wrist, my heart stopped. His touch felt grand. I drew in a deep breath as I slowly looked over my shoulder. My gaze caught his as his Adam’s apple bobbed. I practically heard him swallow as I turned a bit back toward him.
“I’m sorry,” Jasper said.
I nodded softly. “It’s okay. A lot of people judged.”
“I didn’t mean to—”
“A lot of people thought a lot of things, Jasper. That he had forced himself on me. That he was the reason I dropped out of school. But, if anything, John was the reason I found my feet underneath me again.”
He said nothing, only nodded.
“Jay, you leaving devastated me. Not hearing from you at all destroyed me. I went through my senior year in a haze. I quit the volleyball team.”
“Khlo, I’m so sorry.”
“Can you just listen? Because I’ve been waiting a long time to tell you this.”
He squeezed my hand. “Yeah. Go ahead.”
Dating My Best Friend: A Second Chance Romance Page 9
