I can feel my eyes widen in shock. Did he really just say that? “Sorry to disappoint you there, Viking...dancing is what I do for a living. You know, the kind on stage in front of a wide audience and hey...sometimes I sing too, did anybody mention that? Are you going to put me in a cage like a canary? Have me only sing and dance to your tunes?”
These past weeks, before I walked out of the clubhouse, we’d spend lots of times talking, we discussed normal, everyday things. Not my work, mainly because I didn’t want to think about it at first, taking the injury to my foot an easy out to have some time off.
“I can’t handle it,” Lochlan simply states with clenched teeth and hands.
Wait, he’s jealous? Ugh, if I didn’t adore this man, I would have slapped him silly. “You have nothing to worry about, I’m not going to run off or drool after anyone.”
“Why?” he growls angrily.
He’s really going to make this hard for the both of us. Maybe I should slap him silly, beating around the bush like this. Well, he might not be there yet, but when I look into his eyes, I can embrace the feelings running though me. And after sharing his past with me, I’ve come to realize he’s most definitely it for me.
“Because there’s only one dude who gets my panties wet, but it’s also the one who can get my panties in a twist. And if you need a freaking hint who, the name starts with an L and ends with an N. Any idea who I only have eyes for?”
I don’t get an answer with words but instead I get a growl and his mouth covering mine. I know most woman want the extra words, they want to hear their man tell them explicitly who they belong to. Though, for me it’s different, even more when it comes to Lochlan.
He’s closed himself off for a lot of things and with the loss of the one person in life who managed to claim his heart? He won’t ever set himself up to give himself fully. Yet even if he doesn’t admit it or have the words to translate for him...he shows it to me in many ways. And that’s what matters.
I don’t need words, I don’t need a ring, I don’t need the ink these bikers have when they’ve claimed an ol’lady, and I certainly don’t need a marriage certificate to show the world in black and white what we have. Our connection is more than an outer statement for others, it’s in the way he kisses me, holds me, buys me all the damn chocolate he handpicks.
It’s the little things where you know it’s the thought that counts; it’s how you show you care. And it’s all I need; him and the way he gives himself to me. The whole action means more than words and in the long run you might actually want to hear the words...but when a person like Lochlan would actually say it...those words would carry the weight of the world. Yet the way his eyes travel over my skin is a visual storytelling of his cravings, one he doesn’t want to share with anyone other than me.
“You,” he croaks.
“Me,” I breathe and cup his face.
“You and me...us.” His eyes are locked with mine and by the way his lips part, I can see he wants to say more but there’s so much pain sinking into his eyes and the struggle to say anything else becomes real.
It’s exactly what went through my head just now; he wants this just as much as I do. Yet voicing it out loud, makes it real enough for the risk to let it shatter. The connection we have is between me and him, screw the rest of the world, screw the freaking words people use to make a path for clear statements. It’s the connection that counts, feelings, how right something is when I feel it in my gut and how it mirrors back through his eyes.
“Us,” I say and make sure he sees the promise in my eyes. “You and me, Lochlan, okay?”
“Yeah,” he says with a load of thankfulness. “You and me, Xena, you and me.”
He drags me flush against his body and holds me in his arms. His fingers go to my crop top and I raise my arms to help him undress me. Our mouths connect in between pauses long enough to shed pieces of clothing until we’re naked and on the bed.
His strong arms are wrapped around me, leaving less than no room in between us as he pushes himself inside me. Inch by delicious inch as if he’s savoring our connection. The gasp that escapes me is swallowed by Lochlan as he gives me a scorching kiss. The way he’s thrusting inside me, his tongue swirling against mine, his strong hold; he’s not allowing anything to come between us.
My body is flaming up, itching for release. Lochlan’s hand travels down my hip to hold me in place while his hips are picking up speed. The angle of his thrusts adjusts, allowing him to rub against my clit and it’s the kind of pressure I was searching for to let my orgasm overtake me.
His name falls from my lips as curses leave his. He pushes up to watch where we’re connected. Pulling out he palms his dick and tugs. Jets of cum land on my pussy in thick ropes. His face is masked in pure pleasure as he takes in the visual. The tip of his dick is now tracing the cum as he pushes slightly inside me.
I was so caught up in the moment that I didn’t even think about a condom. No matter how damn sexy it is to be covered with his cum, his eyes solely focused on my pussy while his dick is sliding over my sensitive skin...it also puts me on edge.
I remember very clearly how he freaked out and how we also had sex many times in the past weeks, but always with a condom. Even if it’s medically impossible for me to get pregnant and therefore unnecessary to use condoms since we’re both clean and in this thing together.
“Lochlan,” I croak, unable to think of a less panicked way to address this.
He slowly shakes his head. “I had myself fixed right after Melody told me she was pregnant. I swore to myself it wasn’t going to happen ever again. But you know shit never is one hundred percent safe. I never leave anything to chance.” His eyes meet mine. “I checked your medical files.”
If he thinks I’ll get angry at his admittance, he’s dead wrong. It happened a long time ago and when a person is tricked and left to look like a fool for someone else’s benefits, they want to see and have proof for themselves. To be their own judge when they have all the facts in black and white.
So, I give him a warming smile and let him know. “Okay.”
“There’s no chance in hell,” he starts and the magnificent man winces slightly.
Ugh, doesn’t he know by now that I’m right where he is in this? “No chance in hell, and it’s exactly how I see my future because it’s my life.”
“So.” Lochlan gives me a cheeky smile. “Me and you...we don’t need condoms.”
I bite my bottom lip before letting go. “Does this mean you’re going to make a mess every time?”
His head tips back and laughter fills the room, making my heart flush with warmth for this man.
“Never in my damn life was I able to do this...come all over a perfect pussy and yeah, I will create a mess from time to time but later today I want to come inside you if that’s okay.”
“More than okay,” I croak, overwhelmed by his admittance and yet another piece of himself he just gave me.
Our road to a shared future must be dragging by some mindsets, but this is our life and no one sets rules one should live by. No relationship is the same as others because each individual is their own person with their own flaws and even if you live your life with your partner you get to be yourself and evolve on your own and together. And this is our together.
Chapter 15
***Lochlan***
Kray is pounding on the door. “Lochlan, better get out here, brother.”
I groan in frustration. Yes, we’ve been in bed all day, taking turns with enjoying each other’s body while catching our breath before going at it again. I check the clock and it’s six.
“Is dinner ready?” I bark at the annoying man.
Kray lets his fist hit the door again. “Toast just got back to the clubhouse, fucker. We need you out here, he’s got some new intel you would wanna hear and see.”
Now that catches my damn attention. I jump off the mattress and when I get dressed, I see Xena’s doing the same thing. We both head toward the m
ain clubhouse and see Deeds, Muffler, Broke, Depay, Kray, and North sitting at a table. Toast is standing in front of it, his leather jacket looks torn on his left arm and so does his jeans on that side.
“What the fuck happened?” I growl.
Knowing Toast fucks up regularly and I’m very much aware he was the one who should have his eyes on Bugsy Speck instead of standing here.
“I was following the fucker but a motherfucking car went through a red light and cut me off, making me lose him in traffic,” Toast growls back. “But you gotta see what I caught on camera earlier. Get this...the fucker walked out of his house with a long metal rod, popped the car door of his father’s ’69 black corvette and hotwired the fucker.” Toast holds out his phone and a video starts to play where Bugsy is working on getting the car door open.
“The fuck?” I snap. “What the hell is this shit about? The idiot could get the keys to his father’s car out of the house, right? We checked his fucking bank accounts, he could afford one, hell...one every other month if he wants to.”
“You got me.” Toast shrugs. “I thought it was weird when he walked toward the car with the metal rod so I recorded the whole thing. Then I followed him, he was heading toward the east side when I got hit.”
“Send the video to me, Toast,” Deeds says. “You did good. Now go clean those wounds on your leg and arm before they get infected.”
Toast looks unsure, the fucker’s full of self-doubt after fucking up at every turn. “Go on, prospect.” I slap his back. “You did good with filming his weird shit. Now go grab a shower and put some antiseptic on those wounds, yeah?”
Toast sighs and gives me a nod before he heads to his room.
“You thinking what I’m thinking? Maybe this Bugsy fucker’s got some grudge against his father? I mean, the idiot is an adult, who’s still living with his dear old dad but ruins his property like that? It’s fucked up,” Kray says.
“The only thing that stands out in his father’s background is the death of his first wife, and the long list of ex-wives after that. Nothing unusual other than the big paycheck they got as a fuck off bonus. It’s as if the fucker takes a new wife every other year or so,” Depay says, making all eyes land on him. “Muffler, why don’t you make a list and go talk to a few of those, see if there’s a pattern as to why this fucker kicks them out.”
Muffler stands and heads for his room. Xena grabs my arm. “Did you notice how Bugsy eyed us at the party and mostly my friends? It’s as if he observes or something.”
“Getting inside some of these idiot’s minds is nasty while it doesn’t make sense to us, they have a twisted sense of reality. For all we know Bugsy is a rebellious child who never grew up, has daddy issues, and is acting out. Dragging innocent lives down the drain while he’s at it. I’m sure his fucking father must know on some level because this carjacking shit probably isn’t the first time. Daddy is either ignoring or accepting his son’s immature asshole ways. One who needs to be stopped sooner rather than later. We can get him on carjacking if the father files but I don’t think daddio will do us any favors. See how it’s a fucking loop?” Broke says.
“That’s where we come in.” Deeds smiles one of his vindictive smiles. “We need to set this fucker up, maybe even have it all play out in front of his father so the fucker knows he can’t hide this shit, he’s just as responsible as his fucked-up son if he’s ignoring and or hiding it. Time to draw the fucker out and end Bugsy Speck.”
Deeds’ eyes are on me as he says those words. Xena is standing right beside me when he voiced words no outsiders are allowed to hear. My Prez has my back and respects my girl even if I didn’t place a claim, he accepts. My damn chest feels tight at the same moment I feel Xena lace her fingers with mine, giving my hand a tiny squeeze.
She gives a kiss on my cheek and whispers, “I’m gonna dive my nose into a book and let you guys work for a while. Come find me when you’re finished?”
“Will do, baby,” I tell her and watch her damn fine ass disappear into the direction of my room.
I face my brothers again and ask, “What’s the plan?”
“I’ve put Chopper on watch and he’ll let us know if the fucker returns home. For now he’s in the wind so let’s hope he won’t do anything that leads to another case landing in our laps, right?” Deeds’ upper lip twitches in anger.
I go over his words and it makes me wonder. “The other cases, the ones where the witnesses pulled back their statement, there wasn’t any money involved. I mean, he didn’t buy them off, right? Well, I don’t think so since I checked their bank accounts and I don’t think they got a stash of cash. What if it’s a threat? An invisible demand. It’s couples who, after the incident, aren’t together anymore. Xena even noticed how Bugsy observes and how he easily strayed from Xena and me bickering to the lovey-dovey couple Xena is friends with. They just got engaged, how fucking challenging is that? Fuck. Do we have eyes on them? We need,”
“Give Depay their address,” Deeds interrupts and directs his attention to Depay. “Make sure everything is okay but don’t knock on their door if everything seems normal, we don’t want to alarm anyone, or scare off Bugsy. Not that we would use them as guinea pigs, but keep an eye on their house until we know Bugsy is back at his own house, you know what I’m sayin’ right?”
“Got it, Prez,” Depay states and stands as his eyes land on mine. “Text me the address.”
I give him a nod. “On it.”
“All of you, keep your eyes and ears open. I want more information tomorrow morning, church at ten, got it?”
Everyone grumbles in agreement as I make my way to my room to get the address from Xena so I can text it to Depay. She’s on the bed, holding her phone. Pretty sure she’s reading a book like she mentioned. She’s got over eight hundred of those fuckers on her app, mostly paranormal. She’s got this thing for Hellhounds, Vampires, Demons, and all of that kind of stuff.
“Get your nose out of your book world and into this one, baby. I need Sophie and Gavin’s address.”
Her eyes find mine and they are filled with worry. “Why? Is something wrong? Did something happen?”
“Nah, Depay is heading over to make sure everything is fine.” I can’t help but to reach out and cup the side of her face, letting my thumb trail over her freckled covered cheek. “We don’t know where Bugsy is, it’s just a precaution, okay?”
“Okay,” she says and gives me a grateful smile.
This woman makes everything in my damn life seem so easy with the way she accepts me and reacts in ways she surprises the fuck out of me. Where some might act out or have you jump through hoops, she supplies comfort, hits the nail on the head or fully accepts without uttering a negative word or creating a struggle.
I want to kiss the fuck out of her but she pulls back and rattles off the address. I shake my head realizing I need to text said address to Depay instead of letting my mind drift off. After I’ve texted Depay, I decide to order some takeout.
“Italian good for you?” I reach over to my desk and grab the menu, holding it out for her. “We could watch a movie after or we could play some games.”
“Hmmmm,” she hums, “or have some sex.” She fucking winks and hands me the menu back. “Lasagna for me, please. I have a feeling I’m gonna need all the extra calories.”
Shit. I did mention she makes my life easy, right? And fucking perfect if you ask me. I make sure to order two lasagnas and by the time they get here, I’ve managed to get her off twice with my mouth and once with my cock. She’s right...we did need the extra calories.
Even though we were up late last night, I regret nothing, because I would like to start my morning each and every day like this. I just woke my girl up with my cock buried inside her tight pussy mere minutes ago. I’d love nothing more than to spend the rest of my day with Xena but I have to be in church in an hour. Hence the reason I’m up, showered and got dressed and went inside the clubhouse to get some coffee and ran into Depay who gave me some de
tails and told me we’d discuss it at ten when we need to be in church.
Xena took a shower after me. When we were lying in bed earlier I asked if she wanted to take one with me but she replied with “We’d only get dirty all over again.” Somehow I didn’t have a problem with it, but yeah...like I mentioned, I have work to do so she’s right. Taking separate showers it was.
“Did you hear from Depay yet? I wanted to go over to Sophie’s and have some lunch with her,” Xena says and the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end.
“No, you’re not,” I state.
She narrows her eyes and crosses her arms underneath her tits. “You mind expanding on that a little bit so I get your reasoning?”
I did mention she makes my life easy, right? Accepting how I am, what I need, and even when I can’t say shit, she automatically knows how to handle any situation. Well, I guess she feels comfortable enough to stand up to me when she can, and right now I ain’t afraid to let her know exactly why I need for her to stay put.
“Bugsy came home late last night in a rented limo with some fancy date on his arm. It happened shortly after we caught him carjacking his father’s car and lost track of him. Fuck knows where the car is now or what the fucker did in between the hours we lost track of him. Depay said everything seemed normal over at Sophie’s. Her car was in the driveway and he saw her walking through the house. Since Bugsy showed up at his father’s house there was no need for Depay to watch over them. We have eyes on Bugsy, it’s enough for now, but I don’t want you involved in this.”
Great. Instead of expecting her to calm down, she now has her fists perched on her hips. “Says the person who barged back into my life to crash a party I needed to go to just so he could do his job. And do I need to tell you Sophie is my friend? And you just said even Depay left her house because all seemed fine.”
She’s right. Of-fucking-course she is because I want her safe even if we have eyes on Bugsy. An idea comes to mind. “Meet her later today. I have a meeting and after that I’ll take a shift to watch Bugsy myself.”
Lochlan (Broken Deeds MC, #5) Page 11
