Bisa and I went to the same restaurant Aiden and I had ordered the burgers from. The meal didn’t last long enough. Not only did I want more time to catch up with Bisa one-on-one, but I was dreading tonight. I shouldn’t be. Social nights with Bisa were my favorites. And tonight’s social was dress-as-a-book-character night. She and I had gone to a party like this in college and we’d dressed as compatible characters. We were doing it again tonight. It was tradition.
Aiden hardly saw me in my glasses. He’d never seen me dress up. Halloween was just another work night for him. No kids ventured out to our house, but I’d been ready with a bowl of candy and my Mary Poppins costume anyway. By the time Aiden was done at the office, I’d been changed and in bed.
I shouldn’t be anxious. My husband should know me at my worst and my best, but since the day of the open house when he’d asked me out, I’d striven to be at my best around him. Unrealistic, but that was where we were. Why I’d filed for divorce when I’d learned about the trust.
I let myself into the room. The blinds were open, but only residual street light filtered in. Aiden was at the desk, still in his flannel pants and a tight white T-shirt that shouted better than a neon sign Look how cut these shoulders are. He hadn’t done anything with his hair since he’d showered. The cowlick curved higher at his hairline. My palms itched to run through it.
He glanced at me and his eyes warmed. “How was your day?”
All I wanted to do was cross to him, drape myself over his lap, and get lost in one of his lingering kisses. I couldn’t afford to confuse chemistry with a strong relationship at this moment. “Good. Bisa and I went to many of the same workshops.”
“She still in Idaho?”
“Same place. We talk about getting together all the time, but the drive across Montana to Billings eats up most of a day.”
“You can always fly there.”
“Yeah, I suppose,” I said as I dug through my suitcase. I’d kept my costume under all of my underclothes. It should’ve been hanging up, but then I would’ve had to explain, and after I’d ripped his head off about Hailey, I’d been raw.
Had I ever thought of going anywhere by myself since I’d been married? When I was single, I’d traveled as much as my pocketbook would allow. A week in Cozumel. A weekend in Regina, Canada. Going alone didn’t bother me.
Going alone when I was married did.
I rose with an armful of blue tulle and caught Aiden staring at me.
He was doing that thing with the office chair. His body was hitched to the side, an arm draped over the back. A move that was devastating in his dress shirt and suit jacket. But with a T-shirt that left nothing to the imagination—well, I didn’t have to imagine.
Concern welled in his dark eyes. “What’s wrong? Why wouldn’t you visit Bisa?”
Sometimes he surprised me with how astute he was—about me. Not about anything else. “It just never worked out.”
“You enjoy traveling. I would’ve gone with.”
How did I explain? “When I was single, I made sure it didn’t limit me. I wasn’t going to be one of those spinster women who sat home with a bunch of cats and read books. After I was married…I didn’t want to travel with someone who didn’t want to be with me.”
He unhooked his arm and rose, towering over me. “I want to be with you, Kate.”
And I wanted him to understand. When we were together, he was rarely with me. The few minutes on the plane before we’d taken off was what I wanted. I didn’t demand his entire day. I knew work was important to him. I just wanted to be important too. “We’re working on it, Aiden. That’s enough for now.”
His expression remained pensive until his gaze dropped to the bundle in my arms. His brows drew together. “Are you going to wear that?” He peered closer. “Is that a blue wig?”
“It’s, um, dress-as-a-book-character night, and Bisa and I have this thing. She’s a children’s librarian, and…” I blew out a breath and looked at the getup I held. “We go as Thing One and Thing Two. Yeah, so, we do the costume with blue tulle and red-and-white-striped leggings. More comfortable than red footie pajamas, and…” I stopped before I started describing how I hated using a public restroom when I had to unzip the red pajama-style costume and strip down just to pee.
The corner of his mouth hooked upward first, then the rest as I was rewarded with a breathtaking grin. “She’s coming to grab you, right? So I can see the both of you together?”
I scowled. “No. I was going to meet her.”
“Then I want a picture.”
“No.”
“Kate.” He crowded into me, and god, did I love when he did that. “I’d really love to see a photo of you two together having fun.”
Sincerity filled his words. He wasn’t doing it to laugh at me. He’d never done that. I might’ve pointed out some of Aiden’s faults on this trip, but he had a lot of good qualities. A lot of reasons why I’d fallen in love with him. “All right. I’ll message her and ask if she can come up.”
“I just need to know one more thing.” He dipped his head down by my ear until his hot breath whispered over my ear. “Are you Thing One or Thing Two?”
Chapter 10
Kate
* * *
The trailer was quiet tonight, like it was most nights. The only sound was the tinkling of dishes as I loaded the dishwasher and the TV.
The quiet nights at home as an adult unsettled me, without my brothers tearing the walls down with their wrestling and without Mom or Randall chewing them out for whatever stupid prank they played that brought the police to our house.
When I was younger, I couldn’t wait to leave for college. To go out in the world and prove that I was better than everyone I’d grown up around. Not just my family and how the outside world viewed us, but the kids I’d gone to school with who’d ignored me and forgotten who I was as soon as I was out of sight. The teachers who’d overlooked me because I did well enough, but wasn’t in sports and therefore wasn’t worth extra effort. My hometown had felt so limiting to a girl who’d had big dreams and plans to be someone.
Looking back on it, the hubris was shocking. Why would I be the center of everyone’s world? Yet all I’d really yearned for was to be the center of someone’s world. Mom and Randall had been busy with my brothers. My dad was a trucker and he called to meet for a meal whenever his route took him through town, but he didn’t come here otherwise. My friends from school had other, better friends and we’d drifted apart. The teachers had stellar students they could push harder and worse students who needed extra attention. My college sweetheart hadn’t felt strongly enough about me to change his career plans and I’d felt the same. We’d gone our separate ways, like me and Bisa, except I didn’t keep in touch with Gabriel.
What I’d been missing growing up, I found through my work. Patrons needed me. I was not only good at my job, I was useful. People appreciated me. I had a purpose, and it kept me busy enough to mask what I was missing at home.
After a long weekend with Aiden, I realized why I’d really left him.
More importantly, I realized why I wanted things to work out between us. Why I wanted to believe that his heart was in this relationship as much as his pride. When his full attention was on me, I believed I could be the center of his world. I believed he loved me, and because of the loss he’d suffered so young, he didn’t know how to show it.
Bisa had swung by the night of the costume party so Aiden could see us together, rocking our red bodysuits and blue wigs. With Bisa present, I hadn’t expected to see another grin, but humor had danced in his eyes before he’d kissed my forehead, earning a nose full of fake blue hair, and said, “Have fun, Thing Two.”
My lips curved at the memory until I was grinning to myself. I switched the dishwasher on and dug out some plastic containers. I packed Mom’s leftover meatloaf for tomorrow’s lunch.
Randall dozed in his recliner as the last of a crime drama played. Mom was in her corner of the couch, bent over
the crossword puzzle from a newspaper she’d gotten at work. I set my lunch on top of the bags I’d packed for each of them. Part of my payment for living here was to clean up after meals and I included packing their lunches. It was the least I could do. Randall had landed a day shift at the refinery years ago, but it exhausted him as much as switching shifts. And while Mom had worked her way to supervisor for hotel housekeeping, she had to clean just as many rooms as she had before, between employees calling in sick or being no-shows.
Mom popped her head up. “Damn, I forgot to grab milk.”
“I can get it on my way home tomorrow.”
She scooted forward in her seat, shaking her head. “No, Randall’s a bear if he doesn’t have milk for his morning coffee.”
“I’ll go get some. Sit down.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah.” The bustle of the grocery store sounded better than my small silent room. “Need anything else?”
“Maybe some more Folgers?” Her mouth quirked. “I did that once. Made a special trip for milk and then the next morning we found out we were out of coffee.”
Randall was a mellow man—unless he was undercaffeinated. He and Mom had an arrangement. He thought coffee magically made itself every morning and Mom made it her personal mission to keep him stocked. But then she never had to worry about a snowy sidewalk or driveway. Randall woke before her and moved snow, often opening the garage door and starting her car so it was warm for her.
I grew up witnessing those trade-offs. I’d gone into my marriage assuming we’d have them. But my attempts had fallen flat when he hadn’t reciprocated. He’d let me use the jet. Maybe I just had to recognize the times he did try instead of shoving him into a rectangular container like I’d just packed the meatloaf in.
I grabbed my keys and stuffed a patterned stocking hat over my hair. I’d gone to the gym and showered after work, but it was just the grocery store. I didn’t need makeup or the contacts I’d taken out as soon as I’d gotten home. My gray sweatpants and purple fleece athletic top were fine. A couple of months ago, I would’ve changed back into my work clothes thanks to self-imposed expectations that had no grounding in reality.
The drive was fast. I parked at the end of the lot under a streetlight. A few extra steps would make up for the chocolate that wouldn’t fail to land in my basket before I checked out.
I ran through the store, grabbed the milk and coffee, and saved my sweet tooth for a jumbo muffin that I’d eat for breakfast. As I was walking to my car, I narrowed my eyes.
Was my tire flat?
The closer I got, the more certain I grew. Yep. It was flat. I could limp it to a pump, fill it, and get home, but then it’d deflate overnight. Randall would insist on putting on the spare after the car had been sitting out in the cold all night.
I dug out my phone—and stopped. Who was I going to call?
Aiden?
He’d flown me to Indianapolis and back. Was it fair for him to keep bailing me out?
Mom and Randall?
No, I didn’t want to disrupt their evening in the middle of a workweek.
Jason?
He worked at the refinery too, and I never knew what shift he was on. Sophie would know how to change a tire, but she did shift work too at the hospital.
I would do it my damn self.
Randall had made sure my brothers and I knew how to do the basics. But changing a tire was easier on a wheel that’d been taken off and put on three other times. Wrestling lug nuts off after an impact wrench tightened them had to be harder.
I tossed my items in the passenger seat and dug out the manual. I managed to find the tire-change kit under my back seat. The metal of the jack sapped heat through my thin gloves. I hadn’t made it to the tire yet and my fingers were getting numb.
My breath puffed around me as I squatted, placed the lug nut wrench, and strained.
Nothing budged.
Was I going the right way? Righty-tighty, lefty-loosey.
I tried again and had to stop and flex my fingers. I placed the wrench over a different lug nut. Same effect.
Shit.
All I needed to do was get on the spare and I could bring the car in tomorrow. I didn’t work until noon.
I tried every single nut and none of them made me optimistic. I dropped the tools and looked around. The flat was on the opposite side as the store. My efforts were blocked by my car and no one paid me any mind.
I slid into the car, started it, and took out my phone. With numb fingers, I called Aiden.
He answered on the first ring, his deep voice warming me more than the heat pumping out of the vents. “Kate.”
“I have a flat and I can’t get the tire off.”
“Where are you?”
I rattled off the grocery store and finished with “Sorry to bother you.”
“It’s not a problem. I’ll be right there.” He hung up.
I waited in the driver’s seat until the headlights of his pickup flashed over me. He parked on the side with the flat and hopped out at the same time I climbed out.
God, he looked good. It was winter, but his coat was probably draped over the back seat. He shrugged out of his suit coat and my mouth went dry. His pewter dress shirt shone under the parking lot light. He loosened his tie and tore it off all the way, tossing it with his suit jacket into the back seat. It shouldn’t be possible for the flex of his muscles to be visible in the dark.
He scrutinized the tire as he wedged his hands into a black pair of gloves, his dark gaze sweeping over the tools I left out. “Did you try the portable air compressor?”
I bit the inside of my lip. “No, sorry. I totally forgot about it.” He’d given me one after we started dating and I’d never had to use it. It was tucked away in the winter kit in my trunk.
His gaze popped up. “No reason to be sorry. Do you want to wait in the pickup?”
The pickup that smelled like him? Almond and anise over a clean soap smell? Simple and uncomplicated, like I had thought he was. Three nights in a hotel room had been hell on my hormones. My car was warm enough. “I can help.”
The corner of his mouth lifted. Not many would realize it was his smile. “Sure. Pop the trunk?”
I did and he dug out the portable air compressor. He plugged one end in the car and stretched around to hook on the nozzle.
The rhythmic cycling of the tiny motor filled the parking lot, but it was getting late and not many people were milling around. None of them bothered more than a glance toward us. All they saw was a damsel in distress and a hot knight who’d ridden in on his mighty steed.
“Were you at work?” I asked.
“No reason to be anywhere else,” he said simply.
I chewed my lower lip to redirect the sting of pain his comment caused. He hadn’t meant it as a barb about how I’d left him, but then again, I hadn’t been enough to lure him away from work when we had been together either.
A few more minutes passed with us staring at the still-flat tire.
“I don’t think it’s going to hold air,” he said. “I’ll put the spare on.”
He squatted down and I couldn’t look away. His shirt pulled tight over his shoulders. His black belt held it tucked in and added a border over his tight ass. Powerful thighs twisted and turned as he set the compressor aside and undid the lug nuts one by one. The small grunt he let out before he loosened each nut made me feel slightly better about my inability to do the same.
The light scruff on his jaw gave him a dangerous look that my inner wanton craved. He could wear all the suits he wanted, but it didn’t change that he’d grown up in the dirt, chasing cattle and his brothers. He’d polished those rough edges and I wanted to scrape them back up.
He put on the spare within minutes and cleaned up the mess before I could help. I continued to stare as he leaned in the car to tuck the tools under the back seat. What an ass.
When he bent to lift the flat, I stepped forward. “I can do that. You’ll get dirty. Dir
tier.”
He glanced down and shrugged. “It’s just a suit.”
That cost more than my monthly paycheck.
He hefted the tire and carried it one-handed to the trunk and tossed it in. Dusting his gloves off, he crossed to me. “Where are you going to take it?”
“Uh…” I’d had plenty of time to think this through, but I’d spent the last several minutes ogling my husband.
“I can follow you and give you a ride home.”
“Sure. I think I’ll go to that place on Central Avenue.”
Aiden nodded his head once. “I’ll call them in the morning.”
“I should do it.” I lifted my hands. I’d started the week reverting back to the starry-eyed ingenue after one weekend away with Aiden. But nothing had really changed other than we hadn’t had sex.
One of the first things he’d said tonight was that I hadn’t been enough to drag him away from the office.
Hurt flashed in his eyes and those soft lips of his pressed into a line. “Whatever works for you.”
None of this worked for me. He’d swooped in and saved me, but he’d also devastated me at the same time.
Aiden
* * *
Kate had saved me from one of the most unproductive nights at the office. Her call had startled me out of the hundredth trance I’d found myself in.
She pulled into the parking lot of the tire shop. I idled behind the car as she ran around to grab her purse and a bag of groceries. She scrambled inside my pickup, using the running board and oh-shit handle to pull herself inside.
“Want to grab a bite to eat?” I asked as soon as she shut the door.
She blinked at me, her wide hazel eyes swirling with the millions of thoughts that streamed through her mind. When I’d started dating her, I realized I had to up my game. She was intoxicatingly intelligent. I could talk work without losing her, didn’t matter if it was about King Oil or the ranch.
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