“That was really nice of you both.” I’d thanked Aiden five times already. It wasn’t that long ago I’d been wishing for sweet gestures from him and now I was the one falling behind.
“I know how much you like them.”
“I never eat them in front of you.”
“Every time you see one, your eyes have sex with it.”
I sputtered out a laugh. “Do not—yeah, I totally do.”
He chuckled but kept his eyes glued to the road. Light from the headlights swept across the highway. The wind hadn’t died down and snow snakes blew across the road. The weather had stayed cold enough and traffic was too light to melt enough snow to stick to the surface. Still, I was always glad when Aiden drove during these conditions. Bad roads never rattled him.
The conversation from earlier kept replaying in my head. It wouldn’t quit. I’d gleaned enough to figure out the gist of what had happened, but Aiden hadn’t elaborated.
Disappointment settled into my belly. I could ask him. He’d probably tell me. Except that wasn’t the type of relationship I wanted. I didn’t want to beg for information. For years, I’d justified his silence with excuses about how things that dealt with his job weren’t my business. But the subject they’d talked about had seemed to directly impact our relationship. It was my business and we should discuss it. Before I made my decision to move back in.
“The thing with Grams…”
My gaze shot to Aiden. Was he broaching the topic?
He worked his jaw before he continued. “A year after I started as CFO, the vice president of finance worked on a project with one of our sites in an area with a boom. Remember the surge in northwestern North Dakota and northeastern Montana almost ten years ago?”
I’d been on the other side of Montana in college, but the boom had been national news. Towns had been doubling in size as oil field workers and their families had moved to the area. Man camps had sprung up wherever someone could set up trailers and the bare necessities for facilities. Apartment buildings had flown up as if they were made of Legos. Once small towns with little more than a few franchises had become homes to giant department stores, chain restaurants, and strings of hotels that were immediately booked upon opening. All those workers’ families had needed places to stay and housing couldn’t keep up.
As well, the steep increase in major crime had outpaced the growth of local law enforcement. They’d called it the Wild West. Women had told stories about how parking lots of places they’d frequented their entire life became their worst nightmare seconds after dark.
Then the boom had crested. More stories about layoffs, ghost towns, and abandoned man camps had filled the news. King Oil had been featured several times. That hadn’t been out of the ordinary. They were a Montana company, the state’s pride and joy.
I vaguely recalled some other stories involving King Oil just as I was finishing my master’s program. Reports of how layoffs had affected the workers involved. Disgruntled accusations that the repercussions hadn’t reached the top tiers of the company.
Going to college in Montana meant I’d been insulated from it. Media in the state wasn’t going to hunt a family they considered royalty, local boys who had done well, who had provided many of the residents with jobs at oil fields and the refinery. Montana was blue collar through and through, and they didn’t forget that Gentry and Aiden had gotten their start wearing cowboy boots and raising cattle.
National news was different, and I’d had the luxury to ignore it. Aiden wouldn’t have been able to. He would’ve taken it personally. He would’ve internalized the stress and his feelings and done everything in his power to make sure it never happened again.
“I remember the stories,” I said. “Sebastian was fired?”
Aiden nodded. “He reviewed his plans with me, and I signed off. The buck stopped at me.”
“For the record, I agree with Gentry. But I know you don’t see it that way.”
He shook his head. His rigid profile broke my heart. “I was brand new to the position. Sebastian was experienced, but he was arrogant and he made a major mistake. He didn’t listen to the financial managers at the sites. Their data was in the report, along with Sebastian’s reasoning why we should move forward with building more wells and hiring the personnel to do so. I should’ve caught it.”
He was opening up about what felt like a personal failure, but it wasn’t bringing him relief. He looked the same as he always did. Tense. His jawline hard, like he could cleave diamonds with it. Like he didn’t realize the wall he’d constructed around his emotions was as formidable as the Hoover Dam. He’d taken DB’s words to heart all those years ago, like the obedient oldest child he was.
Did Gentry know? Had he only added pressure, not understanding what Grams’s and DB’s words had done? All Gentry knew was that Aiden had taken the blame and was making up for it well beyond what his penance should be. Gentry didn’t understand what motivated his son, and Sarah wasn’t around to tell Aiden that he was only human and it was okay to mess up. That she was proud of him no matter what.
All Aiden had were the words “man up” when he’d been a grieving thirteen-year-old.
He had isolated himself, cut himself off from support. He wouldn’t listen to anyone who told him to back off of being a perfectionist. None of us had known what was driving him—an unbalanced sense of responsibility because he’d been taught not to ask for help.
He’d let all those families down. He was the reason they’d moved and found themselves in a new state with no job. He was the reason some of them had ended up stranded, divorced, or homeless.
Other than defending his resolution to always be better, no matter the cost, he didn’t have anyone to talk to.
Had he ever?
He didn’t talk to me. What would I have said? The same as Gentry. It’s not your fault. Quit beating yourself up. You don’t have to work so hard.
What else had gone on that Aiden had weathered alone?
“You can talk to me, you know. I mean, really talk to me, Aiden.”
He glanced at me, then slid his eyes back to the road. “I know.”
Did he? “I don’t mean that you tell me what happened and then give me all the reasons about why you made your decision while I argue how you’re wrong. You can tell me how much it sucks to do the work of at least two people. You can tell me that fighting against your grams is exhausting and most of the time you wish she’d leave the company completely, but you can’t change because you’re worried about her health, and after everything, you’re not going to have the weight of Grams’s decline on your shoulders.”
“Jesus, Kate.” He released the wheel to scrub a hand over his face. “You nailed that one.”
“You do the work of more than two people, don’t you? You worry about your dad.” How many of Aiden’s duties were a CEO’s, but Aiden intercepted them before they reached Gentry?
His expression softened. “It’s better now that Kendall’s working for him.”
Except both Gentry and Kendall had bent and stretched as far as they could. They were at their breaking point. Aiden would shoulder more of the burden without a word. He’d do what he could to protect his dad and his stepmom and his grandmother. Just like he’d taken the position at the company. Someone had to do it and he wouldn’t let his mama’s memory down and coast through life. He’d ruin himself before he did that.
The magnitude of what my husband had been going through sank in. “I want to support you, listen to you, like you listen to me. But I don’t know what you need if you don’t talk to me.”
“I need you, Kate. That’s all I’ve needed.”
The lights of Billings lit the clouds in the distance. A glow in the middle of nowhere. We were almost home. He’d drop me off at Mom and Randall’s and then he’d go home. Alone. On Christmas, after he’d gotten into an argument with his dad.
“Can I stay with you tonight?”
His surprised gaze caught mine. “Of course.”
>
Good.
I couldn’t picture us walking into the house and then Aiden spilling his guts about his feelings over the last four years, much less the last ten or twenty. That wasn’t him. I’d have to be patient. I’d have to read him as well as he read me. Aiden didn’t use words to show people how much he cared. He used actions, and I had to learn to listen.
Chapter 16
Aiden
* * *
My nephews’ laughter drifted down the hall of the trailer and into the bedroom. I sat on the edge of Kate’s bed with my arms propped on my legs, answering emails on my phone.
New Year’s Eve wasn’t a holiday. I’d gone to the office early in order to make Sharon’s dinner on time. The McDonoughs celebrated New Year’s Eve with pizza, but just because Sharon didn’t cook it didn’t mean I was going to be late. Other than not wishing to insult my mother-in-law, I had another reason to make sure I showed.
Tonight, Kate was coming home with me. Her bags were packed and by the bedroom door. Tomorrow morning, I’d wake up next to my wife.
This year was going to be different. I’d find a way to balance all the demands on my time. I’d make it work.
Violet hovered in the doorway.
I glanced up from my screen. “What’s up?”
She looked around the room in a way that told me she didn’t have a purpose for coming in here, but now that I’d asked her a question, she was determined to figure out an answer. “Um…what are you working on?”
“I’m analyzing the amounts we’ve contributed to non-petroleum-based energy research programs over the last five years and trying to project how much more we should contribute based on current findings.”
“Oh,” she said like she followed every word. “I’m almost eight.” She kicked a foot up so only her toes were on the floor, then took a hop into the room.
I clicked off my phone. Solar energy returns could wait. Violet was usually in the thick of rowdiness with the boys. She seemed to need something quieter right now.
“Any birthday plans?”
She shook her head and wandered into the room, plopping on the bed, her little legs swinging off the side. “My dad said he’d take me wherever I want to go to eat.”
“That’ll be fun.”
“Yeah,” she said. “I told Mommy I wanted a watermelon cake.”
“That sounds…” Would the cake look like a watermelon, or taste like it? Or both? “Good?”
She nodded. “Chocolate chips are going to be the seeds.”
That answered one question. “How’s wrestling?”
“Good.” Violet’s shoulders hunched.
What had I said? I nudged her with my elbow. “How good is good?”
“Grandpa tries to coach me, but there’s a lot of kids.”
“And not enough coaches?”
She nodded. “Think Aunt Kate will practice with me?”
The image of Kate wrestling with little Violet made me smile. How cute would that be? Seeing her mess around with the boys had shown me a whole new side of her. Violet was so much smaller, but with just as much determination. “There’s nothing wrong with asking her.”
Violet shifted from foot to foot, her expression unsure.
“Would you like me to talk to her?”
She brightened. “Could you?”
“Hmm…” I pretended to think about it. Violet’s eyes widened as she waited for the answer. “I’ll talk to her.”
She grinned and threw her arms around me. “Thank you, Uncle Aiden.” She jumped back. The wrestling crisis must be taken care of in her mind. “I brought my Old Maid cards but no one likes to play with me. Gramma said it was game night, but they’re not playing games I like.”
Kate had asked Violet to be her partner during Scrabble against Randall, but the girl had drifted away a little before I’d left for the bedroom. Jason and Sophie were each cleaning off their own six-pack and getting louder in a Cards Against Humanity game with Sharon. My mother-in-law was indulging in her second rum and Cherry Coke. The game was getting rowdy and full of jokes Violet shouldn’t hear. Matt and Violet’s mom, Ada, had plans with friends and had dropped Violet off to play with her cousins.
I could easily work another hour on my tiny screen, but I’d been sequestered in the bedroom long enough. I’d work longer tomorrow. “Why don’t you grab your cards and bring them here?”
Her eyes brightened. “You know how to play Old Maid?”
“Kiddo, I grew up playing Old Maid.” I hadn’t played the game since I was old enough to tie my own shoes, but she didn’t need to know that.
Violet ran off and was back within a minute, lugging a pink backpack covered in unicorns. She jumped onto the bed. I tucked my phone away in my pocket as she unloaded dolls and books from the backpack.
I picked up one of the books and paged through it. “You can read this stuff already?” My first-grade days were hazy, but I didn’t recall reading books with this many words on the page. It was a cross between a graphic novel and a chapter book.
“Uh-huh.” She found the cards and shoved everything else to the side. A fairy doll and a book similar to the one I was holding fell off the side. She ignored it. “So, I deal all the cards. Only put down pairs. If you get two school teachers, put those cards down. But if you have three school teachers, don’t put all three down.”
She spoke with the seriousness of Kendall running a meeting. I picked up my cards and arranged them, setting down each pair I found. Over the top of her cards, Violet watched me like a hawk, waiting for me to make a wrong move.
“Okay,” I said. “Remind me how the rest of this goes again.”
She smacked her lips, her expression full of ancient wisdom. “So. You pick a card from my hand, and if you get a pair, set it down. Whoever’s left with the old maid loses.”
“Got it.”
I chose a card. Half my enjoyment from the simple game was watching Violet trying to control her poker face. I knew when I was picking the old maid or not by the way her eyes lightened or her mouth twisted, fighting a smile.
I wasn’t a big believer in letting kids win—lord knew Mama never had. She’d been brutal to play cards with. But uncles were supposed to spoil their nieces and I’d done a shit job of it. When choosing between the last two of her cards, I deliberately chose the one that made her smile impossible to hide.
“Oh, no.” I feigned disappointment. “I lost!”
She dissolved into giggles.
I grinned and shuffled the cards. “Play again?”
“What’s the party like in here?” Kate leaned against the doorframe, her warm gaze taking in the cards.
“I’m getting my butt kicked. Wanna play?”
Kate’s gaze landed on Violet. “I don’t know. I’ve heard what a card shark she is.”
Violet scooted over, sending more of her books and dolls onto the floor. “We can play with three people.”
Kate glanced down the hall. Thumps resonated from the living room. Shouts of Why’d you do that? mixed with accusations of cheating from Caleb and Corbin. Jason’s boom cut through the noise. “Shut the hell up. The neighbors are gonna call the police.”
Kate lifted a brow and eyed us. “I think cards is a safe choice.”
“Are you guys staying overnight too?” Violet asked as I was dealing cards.
Kate smiled as she sat on the edge of the bed. “No. Jason and Sophie get the bedroom. You and the boys get to camp out in the living room.”
If there was a living room left after tonight.
“Can I go home with you guys?”
I paused mid deal and caught Kate’s gaze. She lifted her brows to ask if it was okay with me.
I’d imagined taking Kate home and keeping her up until dawn doing wicked things I wouldn’t feel right doing with a seven-year-old overnight guest.
Violet intently watched us silently communicate.
Kate wasn’t answering, leaving it up to me. Which meant she didn’t mind, but she worri
ed I would.
We’d never had a kid stay overnight. None of my brothers had kids yet and Kate had rarely hosted her family for the holidays. From the ruckus, I could understand why. I couldn’t imagine that in our quiet house.
A sense of loss tugged at my chest. Caleb and Corbin arguing was nothing like what Beck and I could do. Or Beck and Xander. Dawson and any of us. Sometimes all of us, and we hadn’t needed to be fighting to be that loud.
The silence was as obvious as the lack of photos of Kate and me living our life.
“We’ll have to ask your parents,” I finally said.
Violet flung herself across the cards into my arms. I patted her back and met Kate’s gaze. The wistfulness in her eyes disappeared as soon as she looked at me. Did it have to do with not having Violet or the boys over very often? Or did it have to do with not having kids of our own? Would she tell me what she’d been thinking?
I didn’t think so. And that bothered me. We weren’t moving forward with the divorce, but that didn’t mean we were done working on our relationship.
Kate
* * *
I woke with a warm lump pressed into my back. It was too small to be my husband.
I blinked my eyes open. Aiden’s side of the bed was empty. I closed my eyes and concentrated. Muffled, rhythmic thumps came from downstairs. He was in the gym, but he’d closed the door to keep from waking us up.
I shifted to my back. Violet uncoiled from her huddle and flung an arm and leg out, narrowly missing both my face and my bladder.
Chuckling, I rolled a little farther away. But the girl was a heat-seeking missile. She flopped into me.
What would we do today? I wasn’t prepared for company. I’d felt like a failure of an aunt when I’d realized that I hadn’t done an overnight with my niece and nephews since I’d been married.
Frowning, I rolled out of bed and dressed. I knew why I hadn’t had sleepovers, but I’d never asked Aiden about it. I had assumed he’d be working and he’d want it quiet. Would he have minded? Could I have had the boys over, made popcorn, kept them from destroying the house, and then played with them the next morning? Would Aiden have joined in?
King's Queen Page 19
