by Love Belvin
Our gazes locked. I couldn’t be more attracted to this guy, could I? I mean, this was ridiculous. In that instance, I craved to know how his masculinity felt beneath the pads of my fingers. Again, ridiculous!
“The other night… You stared at me a few times…weird-like.” My eyes faltered before I fortified myself and peered at him directly again. “Why?”
Sadik’s face wrinkled as he re-adjusted himself, bringing his torso up and resting his arms on his knees as he considered it. His regard averted, too, peering over to the stage.
“You want the real answer or some cute shit?”
I sat up, nipped by that question. “This was your idea. You said you’d answer three of my questions honest—”
“You’re talking about when you couldn’t keep your eyes off my lips at the concert, making me wonder how yours taste? Or after, on the rooftop when you peeled out of your jacket and I envisioned you naked, on top of me, riding my dick hard with nothing on but a long ass Chanel lariat with layered metal chains, glass pearls, and other jewelry.” His thick brows nearly met in a chilling expression. “Have you ever seen one of those?”
Sucking in a deep breath, I swung my head to look away. My frame heated all over, pulse beat frantically in my neck. My misted palms curled into tight fists. But I couldn’t. I couldn’t look away from him this time. Those eyes…inside the honeyed irises was a reflection of me, and instead of seeing my usual anxiousness, exhaustion, or insecurities, I saw something unfamiliar. The woman in his eyes satisfied Sadik. She appealed to him in a way that curled him.
I’d done the search into his family, had been in his presence enough to know I’d been sharing air with a man of power. His walk was different…chest more expanded than any man I’ve met. His chin remained symmetrical with anyone he gave orders to. And while his spirit seemed calm, there was a raging fire in his eyes, telling of the commanding nature of his aura. Who he really was when not examining me with those eyes.
“Was that too much honesty for you, Bilan?”
She was doing that thing again. Staring at me with parted lips, breathing visibly as she did it. And with just a foot between us, I could see her pulse beat in her neck. Those speckled dots on her caramel chiseled cheekbones teasing me. I wanted her. It was patently clear to me in this moment. Over the past two weeks, since laying eyes on her, Bilan played in the back of my head. She intrigued me to the point of taking measures to have face time with her, but lately, thoughts of her had been occurring too frequently.
And with her mouth open, I wanted to finally taste it. I wanted to throw her back on this blanket and run my tongue all over her body, starting with her lips. My fingers itched to fuck up her Halle Berry, holding her to me as I drove into her walls. I was also a logical man and knew that wouldn’t bode well.
But maybe just a peck…
My body leaned into her, moving slowly so my brain could process the slightest resistance. The only thing moving on Bilan’s body were her eyes toward my mouth. She was attracted to me.
I knew it…
I heard someone clear their throat and was convinced it wasn’t the woman now just inches away from my lips. It couldn’t have been because Bilan was panting, air expelling harshly.
“Sadik,” was a voice I’d recognized with earbuds plugging my ears.
Turning over my shoulder, I saw Rory standing there, holding my phone in the air. That could mean just one thing. It was important. I’d given her my phones and told her not to bother me unless it was some shit that couldn’t wait.
“Shit!” I muttered, reclining to stand. “Excuse me,” I called back to Bilan, who I caught blinking excessively while pulling at the hem of her skirt.
I stood and took a few lunges over to Rory.
“It’s the office. The customs didn’t clear on a vessel. Rachel forgot to clear it, and it hit the border this afternoon.”
I grabbed the phone, pissed the fuck off. “Which account?” It had to be a big one for me to get called in.
“Uhhhh…” I heard my office assistant typing in the background. “Kaiser Laboratories…GHGX348.”
Shit!
“What did she say happened?”
“The usual. She’s overwhelmed.”
Clenching my waist, I turned toward Bilan to find her visibly uncomfortable and trying not to make it clear she was watching me. I glanced over to Rory and circled my index finger, telling her to wrap the picnic up. I had to get to the office to make sure the staff was supported in rectifying this. Human Resources needed to be involved. Rachel’s ass would be fired by the end of the day. It was something I needed to deal with right away, before my flight out to Orlando.
“I’ll be there within an hour. Call Karen and tell her to initiate the paperwork for separation.”
“Got it.”
The call disconnected and I tapped to get into my email, ignoring all the text messages waiting on me. I sent a few lines to reach out to one of the top guys at Kaiser Laboratories, Geoffrey Griffin. I’d had a great rapport with him and needed to get ahead of this delay personally instead of deferring it to a staff member.
When that was done, I glanced up to find the blanket and basket packed up. Lamont was leading the way up the pathway to the truck with Bilan involuntarily switching behind him. Rory stayed back, waiting for me. Once at the truck, Bilan stood waiting for me as I texted while making long lunges toward her. Lamont stood at the driver’s side waiting as well. I’d just finished the text when I made it to Bilan. I grabbed her hand, continuing to my car.
“I got her from here, L,” I shouted without looking back.
My tone was off, I knew it. As much as I wanted to go the fuck off about having my alone time interrupted, I knew I had to make the most of what was left of it. Bilan. She was still here. I’d steal more of her time by dropping her off. Rory hopped behind the wheel and I let Bilan in, opening the door for her.
After slipping inside and closing the door, I asked, “To Michelle’s?”
“No,” she breathed, gaze lost in my eyes again…that soon. “I’m going home.”
Home…
I was surprised to hear that, thinking she didn’t want me to see her place.
I played it smooth. “What’s your address?”
Subconsciously, my eyes rolled up to the rearview mirror and immediately, I realized why. Rory was shooting me fucking missiles through the mirror as Bilan recited her address. So what I’d already known where she lived? Bilan didn’t have to know.
“I hope everything’s going to be okay,” Bilan softly inquired.
That was progress for her. She’d been giving me a run for my money, and I still had no fucking clue why I’d been chasing her. Pursuing women with effort had never been my thing.
“What are you thinking?” she whispered as we pulled off.
“Why I want you so bad.”
Bilan swallowed hard. Her eyes bounced across my eyes and mouth.
“Don’t do that,” I warned her.
“What?”
“Look at my mouth like that—me like that.”
Her forehead stretched in earnest. “Why?”
“Because it makes me wanna kiss you, Bilan.”
Her lips parted again, eyes narrowed as though she was intoxicated. There was something so chaste about her, though I couldn’t imagine her being inexperienced in any manner. But when she peered into my eyes the way she did, my torso innately inclined toward her. Her eyes continued to bob around my face with a hunger I knew was there.
“Can I kiss you, Bilan?” I whispered mere inches from her face.
Her regard shifted toward the front of the car, where Rory’s little head peered over the steering wheel to drive as a Johnny Gill number flowed through the car.
It’s Your Body. How apropos...
When her soft palm pushed into my chest, I fucking lost my breath. All my will to take it slow, to keep the shy, yet feisty rabbit out of her hiding nest had worn thin. I leaned into her until our lips met, then
kissed her, pulling at one side of her bottom lip. The small, yet audible sound of her exhaling fueled something primal in me, and I brushed against her soft lips again, this time running my tongue across them then pulling the bottom one into my mouth. Quickly, I released it, then slowly swiped my tongue inside, tasting her. The faint tang of fermented grapes and her unique flavor danced on my senses, teasing me.
It was delayed, but she responded with her timid licks against my greedy dives. Her frame vibrated against mine as she pushed into me, getting closer. That combination of reticence and helpless need drove me crazy, and I took her at the back of her head, lashing against her emboldened tongue, wanting her to feel my desire for her. Bilan’s hands grasped my overgrown facial hair as our mouths smacked against each other.
This was dangerous for me. Enjoying a woman to the point of feeling weak and subdued, uncaring of where we were or how vulnerable I may seem to her was no good for me. This wasn’t a part of the deal. But my body said otherwise when my palm grazed down to her hip and slipped beneath her skirt. Bilan moaned, body shivered hard as she expelled air into my mouth.
Fucking delicious…
My hand swept up toward her ass. The feel of her pantyhose made my blood fucking boil. I needed to feel her excitement. Wanted to touch her swollenness and have it beat around my fingers. The moment I reached the waistband of her stockings, Bilan pulled back, heaving out of breath.
Her head shook vehemently as she panted. “I can’t. I’m sorry.” She could barely whisper.
“My bad.” I tossed my eyes to the, barely, five-footer zipping in and out of lanes on the road. “We’re not alone.”
Bilan continued to shake her head. “No.” Her eyes closed as she pressed her fingers into her lips. “I can’t—” She rolled her eyes before whispering. “My period is on.”
Oh…
I snorted quietly and pulled her skirt back down. Leaning over to kiss her forehead, my head then shifted to her right ear.
“I lost my manners anyway. I’m sorry, Bilan.”
I was. I’d never jumped all over a woman in the backseat of my ride. Couldn’t say I hadn’t had it done to me, though, but that was another story.
“I’m here,” Bilan murmured, gathering her purse with one hand and arranging her skirt with the other.
I glanced up to find us on a residential block. I’d been too distracted to know we’d even stopped. My senses kicked in and I moved to leave the car. By the time I made it to the other side, Bilan was stepping out, facing me, but unable to look me directly in the eyes again. Shit… I’d lost her, acting on instinct and not calculated sense. She wanted me, I knew it. There was no reason why I couldn’t ration the lust bouncing between us.
I gave her a nod to prompt her to her house as I followed. Quietly, I paced behind her to the stairs leading to her porch. Bilan didn’t look back until we made it to her door, where she turned to me. Her mouth smeared with gloss opened, but no words followed. Subconsciously, it dawned on me the reason for the disarray on her lips, and I wiped my own mouth of the greasy balm. When I realized she struggled with what to say, I leaned over and kissed her forehead again.
“I’m going out of town tonight,” I shared with my eyes over her head, feeling hers locked on me again. “I’ll be gone for a few days, but hope to hear from you before I come back.”
Finally glancing down, catching her eyes ghosted, I trekked down the stairs to leave.
∞8∞
“Bilan!” Gino shouted into the kitchen, standing inside the double swinging doors. I glanced up from rolling pastry dough. “Damien.”
I lifted from the table, regard shifting to the left of me, where Nicky gave a nod of acknowledgment. As I went about washing my hands, I tried to recall the last time I’d seen Damien. It wasn’t that he’d come in often, but just the mention of his name brought about the distance between his popups. I pushed through the doors and glanced left and right before Carina, manning the register, jerked her head to the left. After a few steps, Damien came clear into view.
That typical feeling of nervousness danced on my stomach as I approached him. It was also when I realized I hadn’t grabbed my order tab or apron.
“Hey, Bilan,” his chords trickled with familiarity as he smiled my way.
I couldn’t help my flaming cheeks around this man. Thank God for my melanin. But my girlish grin couldn’t be masked.
“Hi, Damien. What can I get you this afternoon?”
His smile lingered on his umber face, response delayed, and that added to my anxiousness.
“I think I’ll get a slice of sweet potato pie. It’s been a minute.” He yanked at the neck of his black leather jacket.
His dense, jet black hair shined like the moon, and his shape-up was lined with precision. Damien gazed into my eyes with unknown intent, as he typically did. And once again, my question about his interest in me—or lack thereof—illuminated in my mind.
I rested my hip against the counter. “It has. Still out of town visiting family?” My eyes formed playful slits.
He chuckled. “Nah. But I been away, though. Bought a big ass house down south and tryna get shit situated.”
“Oh.” I straightened, releasing a sigh of wonder. “How far down south? I’m jealous. Hopefully, somewhere by the beach.” My eyes widened. “I hear Georgia has some pretty amazing beaches.”
Damien laughed, something I wasn’t quite used to. “Nah.” My shoulders cowered. “Not that far. My spot is in Cumberland County. You familiar with that?” I shook my head. “It’s here in New Jersey.”
“Shore area?” I had a true and unapologetic fascination with the ocean.
He shook his head. “Nah. Down past the shore. No water around, just big ass forest and mad White people.”
“Oh!” I chirped again.
“How ya brother doin’?”
“The same,” I mumbled, mind on the Cumberland County place I’d, embarrassingly, never heard of. One of the things on my to-do list was to rent out a beach house and sleep outside. I’d always wanted the sound of the ocean to put me to sleep— “Oh!” I trilled even louder, remembering Abshir. “He asked me to tell you something.” All semblances of friendly pleasantries drained from his chocolate face.
“What?” he practically growled.
My eyes blossomed hard. “Uhhhh…something about Lenny being missing for a few weeks?”
“A few weeks? How many?”
My wide eyes rolled all over, desperately trying to recount the number. I’d honestly forgotten about Abshir. It was easy for me to, to help deal with his nastiness.
My forehead lifted. “Three weeks, I think.”
Damien nodded, his eyes to the distance below. Our entire vibe shifted in seconds, and I didn’t know him well enough to influence his mood either way. So, defensively, I withdrew internally.
I pointed behind me. “I’ll go get that pie wrapped up for you.”
Damien hadn’t responded by the time I scurried away.
“I’m going out back for a minute!” I shouted over my shoulder on the way to the back door.
The exchange with Damien had been playing in my mind since he left a few hours ago. His reaction to this Lenny guy was strange. And it sounded business-like. What business did Abshir have with Damien? It was another question I’d never ventured to with either guy. It was enough Damien had appointed himself my security since Abshir had been sent to prison. I was over pondering the relationship between those two.
For close to two days, I’d been haunted by other, more compelling thoughts. Those of honeyed eyes with green borders, causing me to shiver as I stepped outside. It was cool out under the pitch black sky. I sat on the crate used by smoking cooks. The days stretched longer now that spring had arrived, but not even that could lift my mood. My body ached of fatigue, but my mind was alive with worry and anxiousness. I took an unexpected deep breath, releasing it with closed eyes. I felt…empty. With the mounting problems I had to sift through, there was still enough
space in my mind to realize the emptiness. More bizarre was my time with Sadik the other day making it all the clearer to me.
He wanted to sleep with me, I knew it. The way he swiped his tongue against mine with a hunger I’d never seen. The way he clawed up my thigh and caressed my hips, and the groans he made me swallow. And his conversation…Sadik tried keeping me engaged, wanting to know more about me. When I finally shared something so unexpected and personal, he didn’t laugh or clam up at my slip. I still wrestled with how to take that. It was delayed, but I was now intrigued. I wanted to know more about him—from him. I wanted to know his truths, his habits, hobbies, religious beliefs…anything I couldn’t find on the internet.
Everything.
And I wouldn’t ask Randi, though she’d texted me a few days ago asking if I’d heard from Sadik again. I lied to her, answering no. There was something about her warning of him that I still hadn’t settled on in my mind. The more I thought about my time with Sadik, each time he forced his way into conversations with me, he’d been cool—aggressive, but pleasant.
Before I could stop myself, my hands began to move across the screen of my phone.
Me: Hey
My heart thundered in my chest as I bit my bottom lip and rolled my eyes. Why did I just do that? What would I do if he answered? How would I feel if he didn’t?
So stupid…
The phone vibrated in my hand, startling me.
Sadik: She’s obedient. Hey to you.
A wop of air pushed from my lungs, and my shaky thumbs moved across my screen again. He was being a wise ass.
Me: What’s up?
That read stupid…
I tried again.
Me: What are you up to?
I took a deep breath.
Better…
But was that invasive? I groaned, palm to my face.
Sadik: Well now I’m conked out on the bed watching my princesses feed a damn giraffe.
My brows furrowed.
Me: You have kidZ?
Are you flipping kidding me?
A bubble had burst. Ice had been thrown into my face. It was one thing to deal with a pregnancy by a woman he was no longer with; him having more kids would be a deal-breaker for me.
