by Love Belvin
“When you’re ready to apologize to my lady, you have my number. Get it from Lia. And speaking of Lia…” He bent over, resting his elbows on the railing. “I know you can hear me, Lia. You know this was unfair and inappropriate. You’re not holding up your end of the bargain. But it’s okay, sweetheart.” His tone menacing. “We’ll both get what we want real soon. This shit ends here.”
Sadik tapped to end the call. After seconds of gazing out to the angry waters, his honeyed eyes fell upon me slumped against the rails, wrapped in a sheet stained with our weekend therapy.
“Let’s shower so we can get out of here.”
∞17∞
The captains greeted me and bowed their necks as we took for the stairs to board the jet. With my hand on the curve of her hip, I skipped up the steps behind Bilan. She went straight to the set of chairs we flew in on and plopped down. Without even looking at me, she went to the cloth bag she carried as a purse and dug out earplugs. I lay my Louis Vuitton Astralis on the sofa across from us, watching her plug her phone, then her ears, then select music.
It was clear: Bilan was upset. Although she willingly followed me to the shower, received an orgasm I pulled with my mouth from her sweet pussy. Even though she let me choose her clothes to fly home in, feed her breakfast before getting dressed. And despite the way she giggled at my joke when I wiggled the unopened box of condoms while packing our things, Bilan didn’t give much outside of moans, obedience, and mirth. She was upset.
“We’re not going to do this.” I peered down at her, chin low and voice clear.
Bilan snatched a bud from her ear to ask me to repeat myself.
“We will not do this.”
“Do what?”
“Go home angry. Not after the weekend we’ve had. We won’t go home the same way we came out here.”
Her head shook softly. “I’m just looking for music to get me comfortable. I want to sleep.”
“Okay.” I could understand her needing rest. We’d kept odd hours all weekend. “I have a bedroom in the back. We can nap after takeoff.” The jet had begun to move on the runway, so I began to buckle up.
“It’s okay to zone out after the weekend we’ve had, Sadik. It was pretty intense.”
“And it will stay intense! Because that’s how my feelings run for you!” I barked, causing Bilan to push back in her seat. She stared at me, eyes wide with fear, and I wanted to kick myself for losing it.
The shit with Rizzo had me buzzing with volcanic energy. I wanted to kill him. Put a fucking bullet in his head myself in front of Lia and Iban. That would teach them both to not involve me in their bullshit. And ol’ Salvatore had just signed his death certificate. He’d soon know.
I rubbed my eyes, suddenly feeling drained my damn self. “I’m sorry.”
“You don’t have to apologize, but please say something about what happened.”
I dropped my arm and looked her directly in the eyes. “What do you want me to say?”
Her hands shot into the air. “Something of assurance. Make me feel as secure as I did before they called. Manipulate me again so I can resume thinking it’s okay to spend time with you, knowing you have a baby on the way.”
I forged a smile. “I’m your boyfriend, remember? You have to spend time with me.”
Bilan took a breath, ready to respond, but was interrupted by the captain announcing takeoff. I pulled out gum from a side pouch on my chair to help with the air pressure. When I glanced up to offer Bilan a piece, her eyes were still on me and mouth balled.
“What?” I asked.
“My assurance. I may have accepted your baggage, but I won’t set the precedent for you treating me just any way. Give me the respect of transparency if you want my acceptance, Sadik.”
Shit…
I dropped my face into my hands.
“Wasn’t it you who made us girlfriend and boyfriend?” The jet began its course down the runway, speeding before we launched. “You’re not making this an attractive deal.”
My chest and mind roared with the same force as the jet. I felt pressure like never before. The desperate need to make shit right. For the first time, I actually gave a fuck. Without reservation, I wanted Bilan. More than I wanted the big account I’d be acquiring in a couple of days, more than I cared how my family would feel about it, even more than I wanted the shit with Iban and Lia cleared up.
Then we were off, in the air and I couldn’t take the pressure anymore.
As the sound from the jet lessened, as did the pressure, I reached over and grabbed her by the hands. “Salvatore and my father are old associates. They’ve known each other longer than you’ve been alive. Underworld bullshit. He considers it a slap in the face, having his daughter pregnant the way she is.”
“Because you’re black?”
“Much of it, yes. The other part of it being our families just don’t cross socially. So, as you can imagine, there has been tension over the past few months. Lia knows how delicate the details behind her pregnancy are. She also knows her father’s anger has blinded him from thinking logically.” I took a deep breath. “I’m leaving out a lot of significant details because it involves family, but I swear to you, the moment all is revealed, you’re the first person I’m running to with each of them.”
Bilan snatched her eyes from me, looking out the window.
She let out a breath. “Thanks, Sadik.” Her eyes finally met mine again.
“So, you can understand?” Why the fuck was I so desperate?
She nodded. “I respect your privacy. I just need to know I’m respected, too.”
“You are.” I swear it.
We remained in that position, holding hands until the captain announced we were free to move about the cabin. I pulled Bilan up and walked her to the back, where my bedroom was. We stretched out on the bed and talked about her love of reading until she passed out first. She’d been reading books since eight, and her taste had evolved over the years. As I considered the types of books she liked and obsessed over how I could use that to my advantage, I slipped into slumber myself.
“Now—what, now?” My father leaned his ear in my direction as I sat in a chair in front of his desk.
Iban, in the chair next to me while facing him, grunted, “I knew you had some bullshit with you! When do you ever just bounce the fuck outta town with some bitch?”
I was two seconds off his ass and had to remind myself I’d deal with him later.
My attention went back to my father on his throne. “I said I’m dating the kid, Abshir’s, sister.”
“The one that works at the diner?” he asked, visibly surprised.
“That would be the one, sir.” I cleared my throat, adjusting the collar of my shirt.
“How the hell did this happen?”
I took a deep breath, knowing what I had to do. “A few months ago at the diner.”
“The night of the Energy anniversary party,” he recalled.
“Yes.” I nodded.
“But you were with Lia. I don’t understand this shit, Deek.” He sat up behind his big wooden desk.
I braced myself, scratching my brow. “Yeah. That night, I took Lia to the diner to pick up some desserts. Bilan was there working. That was the night I met her.”
“Then you start fuckin’ her, flyin’ her out to Costa Rica and shit?” Iban griped. “You know how dangerous that is? She know her brother a dead man as soon as they fuckin’ release his ass, and it’ll be by a Ellis gun?”
“No.” I couldn’t even look at him first. “She doesn’t know any of that, at least, not from me. She doesn’t even speak of her brother much. I doubt they’re close at all. She’s practically been on her own since the warehouse was robbed.”
“What does she do?” my father asked.
“Other than the diner? She had a part-time student role on her campus. But she just graduated, and is looking to start graduate scho—”
“Oh! That’s the bullshit!” Iban laughed while pointing my way. �
��That’s the hook to your ass. You like them educated bitches. It don’t matter her brother a robber. Shit! How the fuck we know she ain’t one herself, just not in the drug game.”
“What other game could she be in, Iban?” I had to know.
“The getting niggas—setting up goofy niggas game.” He waved me off dismissively, tossing his head back. “Man, cut that shit off, Deek.”
“He’s right, Sadik,” my father agreed. “That pussy, Ab, will pay right along with Damien, who hired him, for robbing me and killing my men. It’s not my style for them to even be breathing six years later. You want a grieving girlfriend, crying over her dead brother, too. Have you thought about how that’ll affect you?”
I had. A lot, too. So many scenarios shot through my head about how this could all play out. My father’s revenge would be carried out with or without my input. Ab was on borrowed time. But even that wasn’t enough to deter my interest in this girl. I’d claimed her this weekend, with open eyes. Announcing it to my family was the final act of ceremony for Bilan being my lady.
I stood, buttoning my jacket. “I thought it was necessary for me to tell you as soon as I realized it turned into something.”
Iban pushed air from his mouth. “As soon as it turned meaningful,” he mocked. “How nice of you, Sadik.”
“It’s what I do,” I snapped. Iban’s wild eyes hit me. “I’m frank, honest, forthcoming with my shit. I don’t hide. As a man, I don’t have to. And I don’t make messes.”
“This sure seems like a fuckin’ mess to me,” Iban shot back. “You fuckin’ falling for a chick whose brother we finna kill. If that ain’t mess, I ‘on’t know what the fuck is.”
“It’s an inconvenient truth, Iban. But I deal with them head on—”
“Enough!” my father barked, standing from his desk. He walked around it toward us. I was his stop. “I know you. Know when you get your mind fixed on shit, ain’t no turning back. But you know me, too. Know that same stubborn shit comes from your daddy.” His chin dipped. “So you know, you’ll be going to a goddamn funeral to hold this girl’s hand.”
Our eyes bounced against each other’s, back and forth. I didn’t like that prophecy, and he knew it. But I understood it was inevitable and there wasn’t shit I could do about it. He turned for the door. “Your mother’s waiting for us to eat.” He closed the it behind himself, leaving us alone.
“Maaaaaan,” Iban started until I leaped in the air, doing a one hundred-eighty degree turn with my finger to his face.
“The end of the fuckin’ week!” I growled. “You have until then to come clean about this baby or I’m doing it myself.” I turned for the door.
“Deek, man,”
“Fuck you, Iban!” I faced him. “There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you, man. Nothing! And you know that, and use me like this.”
“I’m not using you!”
“You don’t hold me down in front of the old man. You turn the fuckin’ knife in my back every time you create strife or disagree with a move I make.”
“We never agree on shit!”
“But our brotherhood! We always protect each other, Iban. And for months, I haven’t felt that shit reciprocated.”
I didn’t give him an opportunity at a rebuttal when I opened the door, leaving him to himself.
“Well, Ms. Asad-Yasin, this was…astounding!” the Dean of Business stood and offered his hand.
His assistants followed suit, leaving me as the last to take to my feet.
I met his palm in a firm handshake, then theirs.
“I appreciate your time, Dr. Chung. This was enlightening.” My smile was measured, unequivocal, yet soft.
“Most enlightening.” His unbridled smile widened, and his grip was strong and spirited.
With a neck bow, I offered, “I appreciate that.”
The small group consisted of five attendees, most of whom were staff of the School of Business, and two were students. The interview went far better than I thought; my nerves cleared after the first fifteen minutes. Although they were impressed with my GMAT score, if I was honest, I thought I’d flunk this “meeting” completely because I didn’t have a business plan or general aspirations for business. Thankfully, Sadik emailed me talking points about management and entrepreneurship to prepare me.
“I’ll walk you out,” Dr. Chung offered when the round of goodbyes was over. “Do you know your way out of here?” he asked as I collected my things to go.
“I do,” I breathed, standing with my briefcase. “Thanks.”
As we took to the door, Dr. Chung commented, “We look forward to hearing back from you. I think our program would benefit from a bright and innovative mind such as yours.”
We stopped at the conference room doors, where I gave him a final handshake. “Again, I appreciate your time and reception, Dr. Chung.”
His final smile made my lungs hike with excitement. My stride out of there was on clouds, that’s how light my bounce was on the way to the elevator. I couldn’t contain my smile. Three days ago, I stepped off a private jet, back from an exclusive tropical vacation with a man I found to be absolutely intriguing and unbearably attractive. It was becoming sickening, even to me. I couldn’t scrub his facial expressions, grunts, or scent from the back of my eyes or my nostrils. See! Even now, after a seemingly successful interview, I was thinking of him.
As I boarded the elevator, I realized it was unsettling, but I couldn’t ignore it anymore. Sadik had gotten beneath my skin. Was this normal? Did this make me weak? Could I now count down the days until disappointment came with him?
I sure didn’t want to. The man was kind…smart, worldly, and resourceful. Not to mention he was rich and awfully sexy. Those last two shouldn’t have mattered, but I couldn’t deny them. It was easy to become intrigued by a “rich” man. It told of his drive and focus. And attraction didn’t come easy for me. Most guys were full of so much game, it covered their physical features.
My eyes swept down to my feet. They were comfortable and cute in Yves Saint Laurent. The olive skirt and ivory blouse he picked out somehow empowered me, propelled my confidence all the way into this meeting. My appearance annihilated my fears and doubts as I presented myself up there.
Did he know it would? How?
Once I arrived in the lobby, my mind ran in a different direction. I wanted to see him. I threw myself into work hours after landing in Jersey. The demand on the job has shifted. Nicky had his new hires, Maria and Pedro, making more of my desserts. When I asked him about it, he gave some excuse of needing them in case I decided to quit now that I was done with school. It was so unfair, seeing I told him I had no plans to. This meeting boosted my confidence after being in that tense environment at work these past few days. And I owed it all to a dear friend—boyfriend. I’d suddenly had an increased craving for Sadik.
How does this happen?
My heart began to bang against my chest, my mouth salivated, eyes went wild swinging from left to right as my brain conjured erotic scenes of days ago. I could hear my pulse in my ears, my breathing turned choppy.
I rubbed my lips together while blindly watching people enter and exit through the revolving doors. Before I knew it, I pulled out my phone.
“Bilan?”
“Hi, Rory.” My eyes bounced left and right as my pulse pounded. “Are you busy?”
“You need something?”
“Yeah.” I bit my lip. “Where’s Sadik?”
“At the office. Want me to call him for you?” I couldn’t decide if her tone was laced with suspicion or concern.
Several things had happened since our return. Sadik sent boxes of designer clothes, shoes, and bags from JAGMisha Boutique to my house. They arrived the following morning before my shift. Apparently, my new “boyfriend” had a fetish for dressing me, and his style was impeccable. No more borrowing clothes from Randi for a while. The other thing was he gave me access to his assistant, Rory. He was sure to emphasize that I was to contact her during any em
ergencies if he was unavailable. Apparently, Rory was with Sadik the most. Now, on my first attempt of her services, I wasn’t so confident this was a good idea.
“No!” rushed from my lungs. I tried rebounding quickly from that curtness. “Do you know how long he’ll be there?”
Rory didn’t answer for a while. That’s when I realized she’d been suspicious. And how could I blame her?
“He here all day. You sure you ‘on’t want me to call him? If something wrong, Bila—”
“No! I… Uhhhh…” I grabbed my forehead, eyes squeezing close. My pelvis throbbed with unrecognizable need. What was going on with me?
“Be careful, girl. Niggas like that will wine, dine, and fuck the sanity out your ass. Then you’re left behind, looking for your wig when he move on. And I don’t mean your hair. It’s your mind that go when he do.”
Randi’s words of advice still rang in the back of mind as my eyes bounced as fast as my mind moved. But I couldn’t yield to that heeding. Something more—bigger—was compelling me into an unusual daring place. And that’s where I wanted to be. I wanted to risk my pride to feel the exhilaration I did each moment I spent in Sadik’s presence. Once that truth was out in the universe, I was free to make my choice.
“You think it’s possible for me to sneak up on him?” My eyes had narrowed, mouth dried.
“Like…”
“Like pay him a surprise visit. I’ve got great news to share with him, and I want Mr. Cool’s surprised smile today.”
It felt like hours of silence on the line. I couldn’t hear what was going on around me, only the sudden ringing in my ears.
“I’ll come scoop you. Where you at?”
My eyes blossomed with fresh hope. I glanced all around, searching for an answer in the figurative sense.
“He’s in a meeting happening in there.” Rory pointed straight ahead to the closed doors of a room labeled Conference on the plate posted on the wall.
