“If I could be merely disgruntled, that would content me,” Ran said bleakly. “My future is so dark and empty that it is impossible to imagine how I am to get through it.”
“Yet you will,” Max said. “You will look back on this time from a happier place. After all, you were in just such despair when news came of the wreck of the Brig Minerva, and look how that ended.”
Ran smiled and nodded, but he could no longer view the return of his brother with such unalloyed gladness. It was Ger, after all, who had destroyed all Ran’s hopes.
~~~~~
Ruth allowed Pinnock to arrange her hair in a more elaborate style than usual. She cared nothing for such matters, not when her entire future was in such a state of upheaval, but it delayed the moment of truth.
She had reached a decision. Ran’s kiss had brought her to acknowledge an unsuspected element of her character — that although she could be cool and restrained in public and present a composed façade to the world, in private she needed something more. It was impossible to live her whole life without tenderness. It did not need to be love, but her husband needed to be gentle and caring, if nothing more, and if Ran could manage to offer her the sweet affection of friendship, as he had so generously proved, she could expect nothing less from Ger.
When she was dressed, she went downstairs and found the butler. Pinnock followed her, of course, but she cared nothing for that.
“Is His Grace of Falconbury up and about yet, Brent?”
“Not yet, my lady, but his washing water went up about half an hour ago.”
“When he comes down, would you tell him, if you please, that I wish to speak to him on a matter of importance. May I await him in the Ante-Chamber?”
“Certainly, my lady. Should you like some tea sent in?”
“No, thank you.”
She entered the Ante-Chamber, Pinnock at her heels. Then she calmly took a seat.
“You ought to have Her Grace with you if you’re going to talk to His Grace,” Pinnock said. “It’s not proper.”
“When I want your advice, Pinnock, I shall ask for it, but I may as well tell you at once that I shall never require your advice on any matter of propriety.”
“But Her Grace would say—”
“Thank you, Pinnock. You may remain silent.”
The maid pursed her lips disapprovingly, but she could not disobey a direct order, so she lurked suspiciously near the door. It was only a few minutes before the door opened, and Ger came in with his ready smile. He looked, as always, slightly dishevelled, like a small boy who could not quite keep himself tidy. His appearance never failed to make her smile, whereas Ran drew her admiration for his impeccable style. So elegant, so— But she must not think of Ran.
“Ruth! Did you wish to see me? I am entirely at your disposal.” Ger bowed with a flourish.
She rose and crossed the room. “Thank you! You are very good. I do wish to see you, yes. Pinnock, you may leave us now.”
“Can’t do that, milady,” the maid said smugly. “Her Grace’s orders.”
“I wish to discuss a matter with my betrothed. It is perfectly acceptable to do so alone.”
“Her Grace told me never to let you out of my sight, unless she was with you, milady.”
Ruth went to the door and opened it. “You may walk out, Pinnock, or I shall ask the footmen to carry you out. The choice is yours.”
For a long moment, the maid weighed the duchess’s orders against her dignity. Eventually, two spots of colour on her cheeks, dignity won and she stalked out of the room. Ruth quietly closed the door behind her.
“How may I be of service to you?” Ger said.
“I should like you to kiss me,” Ruth said.
Ger’s face melted instantly from pleasure to wariness. “Kiss you?”
“Yes, if you please. There can be no objection, now that we are betrothed.”
He licked his lips. “Ruth, I do not see… I mean, why?”
“Because we are going to be husband and wife,” she said quietly. “We are going to be sharing some of the most intimate moments that any man and woman can share, yet we are bound by duty, not love. Our marriage will be one of mutual benefit rather than a deep regard. Nevertheless, there must be something between us. When you come to my bed, Ger, you must be able to convince me that you care for me. In public, we may maintain a respectful distance, if that is what you wish. We will have our own paths to follow, and you may be sure I will not hang upon your sleeve or demand your time or attention. But in our most private moments, I must have affection. I do not think I can do this without it. So I should like you to kiss me.”
The wariness did not diminish. Yet was she truly asking so much of him? One kiss, that was all. Then she would know what sort of husband he would be, and whether he could make her happy. Or at least not unhappy.
“Ruth, there will be time enough for this… for kissing… when we are married.”
“Do you not see? I must know now. I have to be sure that it will be enough.” She did not mention Miss Chandry, but he must surely understand her fears there, that his mistress would absorb all his love and Ruth would be left with nothing. “Ger, I know you will never love me, any more than I love you, and I accept that. It is a part of our arrangement. Yet I have this terrible fear of ending up as one of those formidable dowagers, a dried up husk, bitter and filled with hatred. I need some affection from you, however little it may be.”
“Oh, Ruth! I promise you there will be affection. I have always been fond of you, and that can only grow.”
“Then prove it to me. Kiss me.”
“Now?” he whispered.
She nodded and he moved closer until he stood directly in front of her. And then he froze, arms at his side, his expression pure anxiety. His breathing was ragged, and his eyes were wide with fear. Once he lifted his arms as if to embrace her, then dropped them again.
Tipping her head on one side in puzzlement, she said softly, “Ger?”
He heaved a breath, then another. “I cannot do it.” He sounded astonished. “It would seem like such a betrayal. I simply cannot do it.”
“Oh.” She was breathless suddenly, her insides roiling with some emotion she could not quite identify. But it was not disappointment. It almost felt like… relief? Was that possible? “Then I am very sorry, Ger, but I cannot marry you.”
“No. No, of course you cannot.” He gave a sudden laugh. “What a fool I am not to realise it before. Ruth, how can I ever say—”
The door burst open and the duchess marched in, attired in a splendid brocade robe and a hastily donned turban to hide her as yet uncoiffed hair. She was almost purple with rage.
“How dare you—?” she began.
Ruth melted into terrified subservience at once. A lifetime of instant obedience could not be overcome so easily. She was firm in her resolve but her mother’s inevitable rage would beat at her like a tempest, wearing her down little by little.
With a little whimper, she half hid behind Ger.
He rose magnificently to the occasion, executing a flourishing bow. “Good morning, Duchess. What a very unexpected pleasure. You may be the first to know that your daughter and I have decided that we should not suit. I have realised, very belatedly, what a bad husband I should make. I am very sorry for the disappointment this will cause you, but you may congratulate your daughter on her narrow escape from a truly terrible bargain.”
The duchess’s mouth flapped open, then closed again soundlessly. Behind her, Pinnock gave a squeak of shock.
Ger laughed. “Do not look so distraught, ma’am. Ruth will find some other duke to marry, I daresay.”
“There are no others,” the duchess said acidly. “Ruth, this has been arranged since you were twelve years old! You cannot, you simply cannot walk away now.”
“Too late,” Ger said crisply. “This betrothal is at an end.”
“Your father will cast you off utterly,” the duchess said, still addressing Ruth, who was cowering be
hind Ger. “If you do not marry according to his wishes, you will marry no one and be ridiculed and despised and friendless as an old maid. You will end your days as the poor relation to your more obedient sisters, I doubt not. Pinnock, go and fetch His Grace, and perhaps he can instil some sense of what is due to her parents into this miserable specimen of a daughter.”
“Ruth will never be friendless,” Ger said robustly. “Her sweet, gentle nature must always be valued by all who know her, except her own family, seemingly. You need not bother to drag the duke from his bed, for I tell you now, I will never marry your daughter, and no amount of browbeating and harassment will change that resolution. How dare you treat her in this infamous fashion, as if she were six instead of a grown woman? She deserves your sympathy, not your anger. You are a dragon, ma’am, and if you were my mother, I should buy a castle in the northernmost part of Scotland and banish you there.”
The duchess gaped at him momentarily. She could not, however, berate a duke as she berated her daughter, so she gathered her dignity about her, and straightened her back.
“We shall leave as soon as we have packed. Pray have the goodness to order our carriages to be brought round at…” She glanced at the clock. “Shall we say in two hours? Ruth? Pinnock? Follow me.”
Imperiously, as if she were not still in her night garments, she marched out into the entrance hall and swept past the butler and row of footmen standing like statues. Pinnock scuttled in her wake.
Ruth exhaled slowly. She was still trembling, but her terror was fading now that her mother had left the room. “Heavens, Ger, how do you dare to say such things to her? She will never forgive you, never.”
“What do I care for her good opinion? And what can she do to me anyway? She will never tell anyone that I called her a dragon.”
Ruth giggled, but said, “She will tell the world that you jilted me, however.”
“Let her. She may set the blame for this debacle at my door, where it belongs. I should have seen the truth much earlier than this. Can you ever forgive me for causing you so much trouble?”
“There is nothing to forgive. We were both misguided, it seems to me.”
“What will you do now?”
“I shall go and help with the packing,” she said simply.
Pinnock’s face appeared outside the open door, watching her. Ruth shivered. There was always someone watching her.
“You need not go,” Ger said urgently. “Stay here for a while longer. You could stay with Elizabeth for propriety. Do not leave with people who terrorise you. They will take you to town and try to push you into another marriage as soon as may be, and it might be even less suitable. You should have stuck with Ran. The two of you would suit admirably. Please stay.”
Ruth’s heart lurched, knowing just how well Ran would suit her. But that was out of the question. She knew now she could never marry a man who did not love her.
“No, I must leave,” she said. “You have been very kind, but I have no business staying here without my mother, and she will certainly not stay. I need not marry to oblige them, but I must live under my father’s care while I remain unwed.”
“He does not care for you at all,” Ger cried. “Neither of them cares about you, only about the great match you will make. Do not go!”
“There is nothing for me here,” she said quietly.
23: Carriages Awaiting
Ran was in his office with Max, wrestling with a particularly tricky letter, when Ger burst in, glowing with excitement.
“Ran, there you are! I have been looking all over for you.”
“Where else should I be at this hour?”
“Oh yes, but after yesterday… Never mind, I have found you now, and you must come at once, because it is all off. There is a chance for you, but you must be quick, because she is leaving. You must stop her… tell her how things are. You must get her back, you must!”
“Brother, what the devil are you talking about?”
“Ruth! Who else? We have broken it off and—”
Ran cried out, half in disbelief and half in hope. No, not hope. There was no hope.
“—she is leaving within the hour. The carriages are sent for. Make her stay, brother. Do not let her go off with that dragon of a mother of hers.”
“Whatever has happened? This was only settled yesterday, yet now she has cried off? Why? What is going on?”
“Oh, we agreed we should not suit. In truth, Ran, I should have made her a terrible husband and she realised it before I did… and in time, luckily. There is still an opportunity for you to speak.”
“Is that what you rushed here to tell me? You think that all I have to do is to tell her of my regard and she will fall into my arms? She has already rejected me once, quite decisively. I will not embarrass her by making her do so again. The last thing I need is her pity, Ger. I may have lost her, but please let me keep my dignity.”
“But she does not care tuppence about me!” Ger cried. “I always thought… I imagine we all thought that she held me in some regard, and therefore it would be cruel to deny her the marriage she hoped for. But she has never loved me, she said so. And that being so—”
“Oh, brother, do you not see? That makes her even less likely to accept me. You offered her every temptation to marry me — money, the house, everything — and it was still not enough. She chose you, and if not from love, then she must have been dispassionate in her choice. She must have weighed the two of us, and settled on you as the better option. If she now rejects even you, then where does that place me? Even lower in her estimation.”
“She wants affection, Ran. I cannot give it to her but you can.”
But Ran could only shake his head in sorrow. “Go and bid them farewell, Ger. You will understand that I cannot.”
Ger gave a huff of frustration. “Have it your own way, brother. I just hope you will not come to rue this day’s work.”
When he had left, Ran sat in morose abstraction, rolling a pen between finger and thumb. “Max, what do you advise? Should I chase after her and try to persuade her back into a betrothal?”
“No.”
Ran raised his eyebrows. “Just that? No reasons advanced to convince me?”
“You know the reasons well enough, I imagine, for they are plain to see,” Max said, sighing. “Firstly, it is undignified for a man in your level of society to ‘chase after’ any woman, especially one who jilted you only yesterday. Secondly, you will not be able to get her away from that mother of hers in all the turmoil of departure. Thirdly, if you follow her more discreetly to London, you will have the humiliation of dangling publicly after the woman who jilted you. Imagine the gossip when the announcement reaches the newspapers that you are not to marry after all, yet there you are, visibly pining for her. Fourthly, and by no means the least, her parents will violently oppose the match. It will not do, Ran. She has had years in which to get to know you and develop an attachment to you. She has had a full year to consider the implications of Ger’s presumed death. She accepted you as a suitable alternative, and rejected you the instant he reappeared. Why would you even consider trying again?”
Ran was silent, feeling the force of these arguments. Ger’s enthusiasm for the idea derived from his wish to see his brother as happy as he was himself, but that could never be. Ruth did not love him, and there was no getting around that point.
However, he could not tamely sit and dictate letters while the woman he loved was departing from his life, so he left Max working and walked up to the State Apartments. From an upper ante-room he could look down on the carriages gathering on the drive and the luggage being loaded. He saw Ruth’s maid emerge, jewel box in her hands, and climb into the second coach. Then the duchess’s maid and the duke’s valet. The final bags were strapped on, and activity ceased, awaiting the ducal party.
The door behind him opened and closed softly. When he turned, Ginny stood there, a large woollen shawl around her shoulders.
“Why do you not go down?�
� she said softly.
“You know why, I daresay.”
“Are you going to let her simply walk out of your life, without putting up the least fight for her?”
“I must!” he cried. “She does not want me, she has made that perfectly clear.”
“Men!” she said, rolling her eyes. “Just because she accepted Ger doesn’t mean she wouldn’t far rather have had you, but that witch of a mother and tyrant of a father forced her into it. I have seen the way she looks at you, Ran.”
“How can you have seen that?”
“This house is full of secret stairs and little galleries looking down on the formal rooms. Ger has shown me many such things. He wanted to know I was close to him, you see, when he had to be the duke and entertain people, so he showed me secret ways and asked me to sit in the galleries, hidden away behind the screens, to watch over him. So of course I watched over you, too, and Lady Ruth, and everyone. That means I’ve seen how she watches you when you’re in the room, but as soon as you look at her, she looks away. And I’ve seen how her parents browbeat her. She’s like a little mouse with them. Ger said that she hid behind him when her mother came into the room this morning and found her alone with him. The poor girl was terrified. Someone has to protect her from that evil woman, and it ought to be you.”
Ran was unsure whether to be amused or angered by her presumption, but he answered her calmly. “You must be mistaken. Ruth has never given me the least indication of any special regard.”
“Of course not!” Ginny said, smiling at him. “She’s not brash like I am, she is a real lady. On the outside she is perfectly cool and composed, but that doesn’t mean she has no feelings hidden deep inside. But she will never, ever reveal them to you without some sign from you, Ran. If you want to know what she feels for you, then you have to put it to the test — you have to tell her what you feel. There she is now. Go down to her and tell her. If you don’t even try, then you don’t deserve her.”
From his perch by the window, he saw the three of them emerge from the main doors almost directly below. The duke first, then the duchess and trailing at the back, turning to look up at the house, was Ruth, so graceful and elegant in her plain travelling pelisse and the bonnet demurely hiding her face. The carriage door was open, awaiting them. The duchess looked back at Ruth, and said something, and still Ruth hesitated, her eyes scanning the windows, as if searching. Then, abruptly, she bowed her head and hurried towards the carriage. In moments she would be gone.
The Duke (Silver Linings Mysteries Book 6) Page 23
