“Can you babysit the twins, Grandma?”
Oh, Lord.
I was just dropping B. B. King off at the groom shop when Cinnamon called. He got some kind of prickly thing stuck in his fur and it had matted. He hates the groom shop but I love how good he smells and how shiny his coat is when I pick him up. “When?”
“Today! About one! No, noon would be better, Grandma!”
“You mean you trust me with two babies?”
“Of course I do. They’re good babies. They won’t give you any trouble.”
“What time do you want to drop them off?”
“Oh. I need you to come here. It’s too much to pack them up. Besides, it would be nice for you to see what Jonas and I have done to the apartment. And we will even be able to pay rent soon because Jonas has been promoted to manager in seafood at Whole Foods. He’s thrilled, even though he always smells like fish. And I’m going on a job interview today for a production assistant job on The Voice! That’s why I need you to babysit.”
“But don’t you have to have experience?”
“Not for this. But that saying ‘it’s who you know’ is so true. One of the executives from the show shops at Whole Foods and Jonas told her about me, including that I sing!”
Oh, Lord, again.
“That’s great, Cinnamon. I’ll cross my fingers for you, sweetie. So tell me, what can they do since the last time I saw these little cuties?”
“Giggle. And gurgle. They think they’re talking. Follow you with their eyes. Kick their feet up and down. And sleep and sleep and sleep. So you might be bored.”
“Well, I can’t wait to hug them. So, noon at your apartment?”
“How about eleven, because there’s always traffic and I do not want to be late.”
“And what time do you think you might be back?”
“Not sure. I have no idea how long the interview will last. I’ve never been on a real one. I’ll call to give you a heads-up. It shouldn’t be much more than three hours. You think you can handle that?”
“Would you mind if I asked your aunt Odessa to help me?”
“Actually, yes, I would mind. I love Great-aunt Odessa but I’m not sure I trust her around my babies. She’s rather…impatient. Plus, I think she got a job.”
“Okay, I’ll ask one of your pretend aunties. Unless you have objections to any of them?”
“No. As long as they don’t wear any perfume. And I would prefer if they had their natural nails rather than acrylic because of the chemicals.”
“Not a problem.”
Oh, but it was. I have acrylic nails, but I certainly wasn’t going to mention it. Out of all the chemicals out there that could actually harm a child, what was under my nail polish was not one of them. These holistic folks sometimes just go too far.
“Just a minute! Has your mother seen the babies since the hospital?”
“No. And I would prefer that you not mention her to me right now, Grandma.”
“Why?”
“Because she had Aunt Peggy call me to ask if she could borrow two hundred dollars to help her with rent because she was a little short.”
“Are you serious? Did you happen to get Peggy’s number?”
“No. It’s a blocked number, which was why I answered it. No one calls us with a blocked number so I thought it was important. Anyway, I asked if I could speak to my mom and she said she was indisposed, so I said, ‘So am I’ and hung up.”
“If she calls back, would you get her number? Tell her it’s because you might be coming in to some money soon. Maybe it’ll be the truth. I don’t want you to worry about this right now, Cinna. Just think about getting that job.”
“Pretty! No no no!…Anyway, Grandma, I’ll see you soon and thank you!”
Jalecia has my number. Why didn’t she have Peggy call me?
* * *
—
It felt like it’d been a century since I’d watched one baby let alone two of them. They say you don’t forget, but I thought I’d feel safer if I had some help. So I dialed Korynthia. I know she likes children of all ages. She’s got eight or nine great-grandkids in San Diego that she visits on a regular basis and occasionally they spend weekends with her. She complains about it, but she loves it.
Before I could even say hello, she said, “Hey girl! Please tell me you’re calling to tell me you’re ready to start working out!”
“Soon. I’m gearing up, Ko. Actually, I was wondering if you might have time today to help me watch my great-grandkids. At Cinnamon’s from about eleven to three and, no, I’m not offering to pay you.”
“Girl, I wish I could but I can’t! I’m on my way to San Diego right now. My son is having issues with those damn pills again, and he did some stupid shit so I’m going there to kick his ass. But I’ve also paid for him to go to one of those twenty-eight-day programs where they wean him off the drugs and give him some kind of psychological assessment. The only thing that’s wrong with Bird is he likes getting high. But he’s going, even if I have to beat his six-foot-four ass.”
“I’m really sorry to hear that, Ko. Know that he’s in my prayers. And keep me posted on how it goes.”
“I will. Have you asked Sadie?”
“No, and I’m not going to. She doesn’t know anything about children. I’ll just do it myself. After all, I’ve got two arms. Good luck with Bird, Ko. And please, only do the speed limit. Love you, girl.”
* * *
—
I’ve been too scared to take the diabetes medication. I picked it up at CVS, but so far I have only looked at the orange bottle with my name on it. I did decide to get one of those little gadgets to prick my finger so I can keep track of my glucose levels. I also discovered that granola, which I thought was healthy, actually has a lot of sugar in it and, to my surprise, was not meant to be eaten on a daily basis. In fact, when I googled “stuff diabetics shouldn’t eat,” it didn’t seem as if there was much left I should eat. At least not what I liked or what I was used to. If Carl were here, he would make sure I did this right. But then again, he kept his health problems a secret.
At least I have company in my misery, even if B. B. King doesn’t know it. He’s on a diet now, too, because his last trip to the vet was disappointing. He needs to lose ten pounds and the doctor upped the steroid medication for his arthritis, which has flared up due to his weight gain.
The doctor blamed me.
* * *
—
I left the house at ten thirty, even though it only takes fifteen minutes to get to Cinnamon’s apartment. I knew I was going to need at least a fifteen-minute tutorial and I wanted the little ones to feel comfortable with me before Cinnamon walked out that door.
The seven-story brick apartment building is nice. Carl renovated each apartment one at a time and put good lighting in the hallways and good outdoor carpet in front. We put in brand-new appliances and each unit has a washer and dryer. The bathrooms used to be depressing but we uplifted them, too. We also haven’t jacked up the rent every year, because we didn’t think our tenants should be penalized for us choosing to make their building a classy place to live.
Cinnamon buzzed me up. I walked through two doors and took the elevator (which is still old but beautiful) up to the third floor. I could hear baby laughter when I rang their bell.
I admit, I was shocked when I saw Cinnamon wearing a real dress that came to her knees in a solid color, burnt orange. And on her feet was a pair of black patent-leather three-inch pumps. She wore a bracelet that was not made of string or beads, her hair was pulled up in a ponytail, and, Lord have mercy, the chile was wearing makeup! I knew God had stepped in if the possibility of getting a legitimate job had made her do all this. Hallelujah.
“Hi, Grandma! Come on in! They’ve been waiting for you!”
And there in two swings, side
by side, smiling at me, were two brown babies with clusters of black curls on their little heads, who were so perfect they almost didn’t look real. I walked over to them, not sure which one to pick up first. But I took them both by the hands and said, “Hi there, remember me? I’m your great-grandmama.”
They bounced up and down, as if they already knew it.
“They are so happy to see you again. But let me just give you a few tips, and don’t worry, I’m not going to ask you to do all the things Jonas and I do, just as long as they’re still alive when I come back. The long and short of it is their bottles are in the fridge. They’ll be ready to go down for a nap in about an hour and when they wake up they’ll be ready to eat. Their diapers are in their room. You still know how to change a baby, right?”
“Let me think.” And then I laughed.
“They love music. Especially if you sing to them. That big alphabet pad over there is where you can lay them on their tummies. They enjoy playing with each other and with their toys, especially the ones that make noise. Any questions, Grandma?”
“Not that I can think of. Wait. What do I do if they cry at the same time?”
“I usually just sit on the floor and put one on each side and sing. They always stop. Unless there’s something in their diaper.”
She bent down and kissed me.
“Wish me luck! We need this. I need this. I’m ready to join the real world, Grandma. Not just because of them,” she said, pointing to the twins. “But because of me,” and she pointed to her heart.
“It’s called growing up, Cinnamon. And I’m very proud of you and Jonas. If it’s meant to be, the job will be yours. Good luck, sweetie.”
She gave her babies one more kiss without messing up her lipstick and went out the door.
I turned around slowly to look at these little humans and they started rocking in their swings as if begging me to pick them up, which I did. I laid them on their bellies on that spongy alphabet carpet. At first they looked at me and then started gurgling and entertaining each other. I felt a little obsolete. So I got down on my hands and knees and rolled over on my back and I pulled them up on top of me and I did not remember feeling this much joy since my husband told me we were spending my birthday in Palm Springs.
I fed them. I checked their diapers every fifteen minutes, praying they were only wet, which they were, hallelujah. They had apparently learned patience by being twins, because one waited for me to change the other. I gave them bottles, and as I sat there and watched them on their alphabet mat, I started singing some song I didn’t even know I still knew the words to. They seemed to like it because they started singing along with me in their language. Try as they might, their tones began to get lower and then, almost in slow motion, they stopped moving and their eyes started blinking more slowly until they stayed shut. I got blankets from their bedroom and gently placed them over them and after an hour I dropped down on my knees to make sure they were still alive. When they both started snoring, I just sat there waiting for them to cry but they didn’t. They stayed in that same spot for another hour until their mother walked in the door. When they heard her voice, they stirred and smiled and after she kicked off those pumps, Cinnamon told me she got the job and I started clapping and Pretty and Handsome looked like they were trying to.
* * *
—
I finally took a pill, even though I didn’t want to.
I was afraid that if I started taking them, I would always have to take them. But that little needle on my new glucose monitor hurt like hell when it pierced my skin and watching those numbers go up was downright terrifying. Was I going to live or die today? I decided I would take the medication and check my numbers once every week, or two. But starting next week.
I also planned to go see Ma, because I hadn’t seen her since Odessa started working there, but she called to tell me she had a cold and also not to expect any of her written insights until she could think of some.
I wish I could write to Jalecia. I’d tell her how important she always was to me, and still is. I’d tell her that her brother, Jackson, was an addition to our family, not her competitor. I’d tell her how much energy I spent trying to make her feel important.
I think my daughter might just be angry at herself for not making smarter decisions and being unwilling to accept any responsibility for them. I can’t fix that. I just pray she doesn’t give up on herself.
* * *
—
“So,” Korynthia said to everybody as we assembled for our group dinner at her house again because they still didn’t think I was ready even though I felt like I might be; Lucky pretended Joe was sick; and Sadie had just moved into a tiny apartment, didn’t even have a table yet, and was too cheap to have her turn at a restaurant. “This is the deal. I did not cook and you should all be wondering why.”
“I’m not. But I would like to pay for whatever it is you ordered since it is my turn and I don’t smell any recognizable aroma coming from your kitchen,” Lucky said.
“How thoughtful, Miss Thang. You can pay me later. I ordered from Grubhub. You will hear about it after we imbibe. And yes, that’s a new word I’ve added to my vocabulary. Get used to it.”
The adulteress, who was not looking so blissful, simply said, “I hope it’s something light because I feel heavy. Don’t ask. What did you order, Ko?”
“Chinese. And you will eat it.”
“How soon before it gets here?” Lucky asked.
“Slow your roll, Lucky. How about asking if I need any help?”
“Do you need any help with anything, Ko?”
“Yes. You could help us all by keeping your negative thoughts to yourself this evening.”
We all laughed. Except Lucky. In fact, since Sadie was distracted checking her cellphone for messages, Lucky gave Ko the finger. Then I gave the finger to Lucky, and we all started laughing. Except Sadie.
“So what dishes did you order?” Lucky asked. “I hope not those string beans and that stuff with the scrambled eggs in it again?”
“I ordered pot stickers and various types of chow fun and a lot of other shit you will eat.”
“Where’s the wine?” I asked.
“Where it always is,” Ko said. “According to Grubhub, the food should be here in five minutes.”
Just then the doorbell rang and scared the hell out of all of us.
We headed to Ko’s cool dining room. She likes glass so the table was burgundy glass and the chairs were deep pink silk. One wall was filled with photos of her grandkids, at all ages. I’ve always thought they should be on the wall heading up the stairwell, but I keep my thoughts to myself.
“Sadie and Lucky, pay attention,” Korynthia said as she handed the delivery guy a ten-dollar bill. “This is called a tip. Thank you.” The delivery guy had a wide grin on his face.
“How much change?” he asked.
“No change,” Ko said, and he almost skipped off her beloved front porch. Ko has rocking chairs out there and since she’s lived in this house almost thirty years, I can’t count how many times we’ve sat out there and just rocked, sometimes without saying a word.
We went into the kitchen and washed our hands, then sat down as Ko started pulling out all of the round containers with plastic lids, the white boxes that we knew were pot stickers and brown and white rice, and the fortune cookies, at least ten of them. I was praying I’d pick a good one.
“Is Poochie joining us this evening?” I asked.
“No, but she called. She didn’t want me to tell you, but I’m telling you anyway: she might have to have her hip replacement surgery sooner than she thought.”
“We’re all falling apart,” Lucky said.
“No, we are not, Lucky. And no negativity tonight, got it?”
“I’m sorry,” she said.
“Okay. This is the deal. I’ve fi
nally got some good news to share so…shall we eat first?” Ko said.
“Even though I would like to eat right now, I’m all ears,” Lucky said, shocking the hell out of all of us.
“Just don’t mention anything about love,” Sadie said.
“I agree with you, Sadie,” Lucky said.
We all looked at Sadie, wondering what had gotten into her. Although we assumed her honeymoon was probably over, we were not about to ask.
“Then let’s eat,” I said.
And we did. And when we finished everybody except Sadie had another glass of wine.
“So,” Korynthia said, “my good news is that Bird has been in a twenty-eight-day program now for almost two weeks and even though he’s been going through hell withdrawing from those dreadful pills so many folks are addicted to, he’s almost over the hump and told me he’s going to stick it out!”
Everybody, including Lucky, made one hard clap, then threw fist pumps in the air. Sadie followed up by bowing her head so we let her pray like she always does and waited for her to open her eyes. When she did, we saw tears rolling down her cheeks and I knew they probably weren’t for Bird.
Ko continued: “Thank you all. Now, I’m going to shift gears here by asking a very personal question, since we’ve all known each other since high school and it pertains to my current life.”
We all looked somewhere between curious and suspicious.
“What’s the most orgasms you’ve ever had in one session?”
This caught us all off guard.
“Why would that be any of your business?” Lucky asked.
“That probably means you’ve never had one,” I heard myself say and then wished I could take it back.
“Three,” Sadie blurted out.
“So, that’s what made you fall in love with that minister then, huh?” Lucky asked.
Sadie just put her chin in her palm and stared Lucky in the eye.
“Four,” I said. “Back in the good old days. Carl knew how to please and please and please and…”
It's Not All Downhill From Here Page 13
