by Anna White
“Harry,” she moaned against my ear and then I felt her constrict around my length and after a few short pumps I exploded too, holding her closer to me and nibbling her shoulder. I didn’t want to let her go and I most certainly wasn’t ready to get out of her. I grinned as she shivered and watched her toes uncurl.
I thought I’d have scared her off when I admitted to being a druggy. She glanced up under her thick lashes and smiled sweetly before she tried to get off me. I pulled her underneath me and heard her giggle. Her laugh was wonderful and made my heart beat faster in my chest. She blushed as she put her hands on my cheeks. She smiled widely and kissed the corner of my mouth.
“You know you’re incredible?” I muttered against her lips and watched as she shook her head slowly. She lay on her side, her head resting on her hand. Her wild wavy dark hair looked unruly and I couldn’t help but run my fingers across the curve from her hip to her waist.
“I’m average.” She smiled sweetly. She genuinely believed she was and I laughed.
“Whoever told you that was an absolute liar.” Her eyes narrowed and I witnessed her frown line re-appear. She pulled the duvet over us and placed her head on my chest softly.
“Are you going to stay with me? In here? Or sleep on the sofa?” I cringed at the thought of leaving her, but even more of the thought that I may actually sleep better if I was to stay with her.
“It depends on when I fall asleep.” I kissed the top of her head, the sweet smell of her hair made me see stars and I squeezed her a little. The room was dark, only the lighting from the sky, other hotels and streets below lit the room. “I don’t want to leave you.” I muttered against her head more to myself than to her and I watched as she looked up towards me, her green eyes were glazed slightly and she looked tired.
“Then don’t?” I saw her swallow hard and felt the placement of her hand against my heart beat. Her eyes were so full of emotion but I never quite knew what she was thinking.
Friday
The light began to seep through the room. I was wrapped around her like a blanket, her dark hair cascaded over her face and I kissed her shoulder softly. I didn’t remember falling asleep. I had no nightmares. She groaned slightly as I kissed her ear softly. I could get used to this. The thought of waking up like this every morning seemed more than appealing to me. I hadn’t felt this way for anybody in a long time. I cringed at the memory of Bandoni striking the deal with me about bringing her to him. The fucked up thing was that when I ran into her at that wedding, I had no idea she was the girl he’d been after. I had no intention to sleep with her, let alone feel this way about her. She slept peacefully in my arms for a while. I just studied every detail of her. I knew once Rava reported back to Bandoni, he’d come and when he found out who she was… She’d be gone and I’d 100% be dead. Fuck!
Chapter Five
Holt - Friday
I woke to the sound of showering in the bathroom just off from where I was laying. I was still naked. I blushed at the memory of the way his eyes watched me. He looked at me as though he needed me. I leant off the bed and placed my bra back on along with my knickers and made my way towards the window. The sight was
absolutely lovely. The sun was rising in the sky, it was bright orange and I exhaled as I watched it. I heard the shower stop and heard a buzzing. I ignored it and felt his presence behind where I stood. Droplets of water dripped on my shoulder and I smirked as his fingers traced my stomach.
“It’s a lovely sight isn’t it?” He whispered in the crook of my neck and I nodded.
“Mhm.” I turned to face him and kissed him softly. “I think your phone is ringing?” He shrugged and placed his hands over my arse.
“It can wait?” I giggled like a school girl and pressed against his chest.
“You should get it?” I watched as his chest expanded and then released as I moved from his grasp. I watched as he walked away, his chiseled shoulders made my body weak and those arms. God he’s hot. I pinched my arm slightly and made sure I was actually awake and not dreaming. I walked into the bathroom and brushed my teeth with the small throw away toothbrush they have in hotels. His voice was quiet. I placed my hand over my hair that was absolutely wild and made my way back out to him. He winked at me and I grinned.
“It’s Jay.” He mouthed and I nodded at him. “Right but I’m only in Exeter, I’ve got a couple of things to do and then I’ll be back, I don’t see the issue here?” He was calm in his tone and I bent down to pick up my jeans from off the floor, I pulled them up and struggled to pull them past my ass. “Yeah well you know how to call at the most inconvenient times.” I watched as his eyes darkened with need again, he bit his bottom lip and I blushed. He looked young, relaxed and so fucking sexy in just a towel. I walked over towards him and stood between his legs. He placed his hand over my arse and squeezed it. “I’m just busy,” he began to talk but looked up at me and puckered his lips. I giggled quietly and kissed him slowly “I’ll speak to you later Jay, gotta go.” He placed his phone down and threw it on the bed. I giggled as he pulled me over him and slapped my arse as he did. I won’t ever get tired of this.
I pulled my jeans up again and slapped his arm softly as he watched me. This was the second time this morning I had tried and failed to get dressed. He held me closer once we were and looked me in the eye.
“You know when we get back I can’t be like this with you?” My heart thumped. I knew, we would have to pretend like we hated each other. I ran my hand down his arm and kissed him slowly.
“Why? Can’t you at least tell Jay?” I questioned and watched as he shook his head.
“We’re off limits.” He smiled softly and I rolled my eyes.
“But Jay’s shagging my best friend, he can’t have his cake and eat it?” I raised my brow and heard a laughter escape his lips. It was so soothing and soft.
“He doesn’t want you, not the way I do,” his hand ran to cup my face and I closed my eyes, “he just wants you safe.” There was that word again safe. I opened my eyes and pulled a confused face.
“You all keep saying the word safe? Why wouldn’t I be safe?”
“What do you mean we all keep saying it?” A puzzled look crossed his face.
“Jay,” I paused before I opened my mouth again “before I came here with you told me to stay safe.” I shook my head as I watched him look out towards the window. There was something he wasn’t telling me. I took my phone from my bag and looked at the time. It was only 8am. I could still get to uni today if we left now. “Can you drop me like down the road from Uni?” He smiled and nodded as he kissed my hand.
“I can.” I smiled softly at him. I wasn’t going to push him for information. I was too scared of him turning into that monster again. I took his hand and we made our way out of the hotel and back towards his Audi.
He pulled up just far enough away from campus for me to get away with not having to explain who it was. He stopped me from getting out of the car, his blue eyes looked confused and scared almost.
“I’m not trying to play with your feelings?” He stopped talking almost the second he spoke “I shouldn’t have even taken you out last night.” His words were mumbles and I kissed him slowly.
“Then why did you?” I ran my nose over his.
“Because I can’t stay away from you.” I bit down on my bottom lip, which felt slightly more tender than usual and kissed his cheek.
“Thank you,” I climbed from the black Audi and made my way towards the campus. Full of confusion and doubt. What does somebody like him want with somebody like me?
There was no Nancy today at the lecture. I felt lonely… I couldn’t concentrate on a damn thing. I heard the professor speak but took nothing in. My notes were just doodles on a white page and I grimaced. This isn’t you. I shook my head and began to walk home. My phone buzzed in my pocket and I placed my hand directly on it before I pulled it out.
Nance: I’m at yours, let myself in… :) see you soon xx
Me: oh okay?
Everything okay? Xx
Nance: I’ll tell you when you get back I’m alright though don’t panic xx
My gut twisted as I read her messages. I had lots of questions to ask her but I would have to wait until my feet carried me home.
She was sitting in my living room. I knew her and she looked like she’d been crying. Her eyes were puffy and the whites were slightly red too. I frowned deeply as I approached her.
“What’s wrong?” I questioned as she shrugged.
“They’re weird yeah? Like Jay?” I suppressed a small laugh and nodded before looking over at her sad face.
“What’s happened Nance?” My eyes followed her as she bit her lip. I watched her, eyes saddened they clouded over with tears. She sprawled herself out on the sofa.
“We had an argument last night. Honestly Av I’ve never seen him so angry,” she closed her eyes tight “he was cruel…” I rubbed her leg in a comforting way. Why was he cruel to her? I shook my head and exhaled loudly.
“Maybe he was having an off day?” My words were quieter than usual and I wasn't sure I believed them myself. I watched as she shrugged.
“Are you going to the bonfire at Top Hat tonight? Firework display and stuff apparently?” I nodded. I would if she went but I wasn’t going alone.
“Jay said he’d fetch us at 6ish or said he’d get Haz to if he was too busy,” her eyes opened as she looked at me “where did you go last night?” My gut jumped as she asked the question. I wanted to tell her the truth, I needed to tell somebody but I couldn’t and I knew that.
“I came home, I still had a headache this morning.” I gave her a small closed smile and watched as she smirked and sat up. She either knew I was lying or was pleased I was suffering, neither seemed like a nice thing. I pushed her shoulder softly and watched as she stood up.
“C’mon we better get ready.” She pulled slightly on my arm as we made our way up the stairs.
I watched her paint her face. She seemed so meticulous in her application. She was a beautiful girl. She was always the one who stood out. I smiled to myself as I sat next to her on the bed and rested my head against her shoulder. This time next year, uni would be a distant memory and I couldn’t wait for that day. I was sick of the stress. She offered me a comforting look, her eyes softened almost instantly and she nudged me softly.
“You look like a lost puppy? What are you thinking about?” She questioned as she continued to apply her bronzer. I simply shrugged.
“Just where life is going to take us?” I paused wanting her to strike up the next conversation but she didn’t. “I was just thinking about my plan to work in Australia?” I watched her brow furrow. She had always hated this plan. She didn’t want me to move. She had no intention of travelling. She wanted to stay here or move to London to teach but I didn’t. I wanted to see the world and that hadn't changed.
“You know how I feel about that.” I nodded and re-touched my mascara before I applied a tiny bit of Vaseline against my lips. This time of year made them sore and cracked.
“I do which is why I didn’t want to bring it up.” I stated very matter of fact. She chuckled a little and I stood to find some clothes. I ran my hand over my dark denim jeans. I picked them off the hanger and squeezed into them. I placed my cream striped satin shirt and a dark burgundy oversized blazer. I heard her whistle and rolled my eyes.
“Who are you trying to impress?” She wriggled her brows at me and I chuckled and watched as she pulled her dark blue fitted trousers up and paired it with a tight plunge white shirt.
“I could ask you the same question?” She flashed me a cheeky smile and I tapped her arm.
“My dad has text, he wants me to go home before I go out? He needs help with something for mum's birthday and he’s said it’s,” she paused and gestures in air quotes, “of high importance” I stifled my laugh with my hand and watched as she grabbed her bag. “I promise you I’ll meet you there though? I’ll text Jay and tell him to fetch you if you want?” I shook my head instantly.
“I’ll walk, don’t be silly.” She offered me a sweet smile and leant to kiss my cheek, the smell of her sweet perfume and freshly applied make up resonated around the room. She left pretty much straight after.
My mum came home not long after Nancy left. I’d not done much other than sit and watch television. I heard the beep of a horn from outside the house and watched as my mum glanced out the window, her face twisted as she looked at me.
“Brand new black Audi outside? Is that your lift?” She raised her brow and I felt my heart thud. He said nothing about picking me up and I knew it wouldn’t be Jay. I smiled and nodded.
“I think so?” I picked my bag from off the sofa and placed my feet in my heels. She leaned to kiss my cheek. “I may not be home but I will let you know.” She nodded and smiled as she ran her hand over my hair.
“Stay safe my love.” I made my way from our tiny home and hopped in the car next to him. He was facing the direction I had just come from and he was looking at my mum.
“You look nothing like her?” His voice was husky and lower than this morning and I shrugged at his comment. It was true I didn’t.
“I suppose I follow my father?” My words seemed much lighter. Lighter than they ever had before at the mention of him. He simply nodded. His eyes were set on the road in front of us. His facial expression was hard and I shifted uncomfortably in his presence. This was the first time in a while I had felt this way and before long we arrived at the Top Hat’s car park.
I opened the car door and we made our way in. He hadn’t reached for my hand or even looked at me since he picked me up from my house. I breathed a huge sigh as we walked through the doors. He glanced down towards me and tilted his head towards the bar where everyone stood congregating. I smiled softly at him and watched his eyes soften. I knew that look. I wanted to take his hand in mine. I desperately wanted to feel his thumb stroke the back of my hand but he didn’t move. I shook my head as I made my way over towards Chlo. She was smiling. Her blonde bob looked sleek, so sleek and her make up was perfect. She too wore jeans and a black lace bodysuit. She looked classy but sexy all at the same time. I had no idea how she pulled it off. I whistled as she smirked at me and I hugged her softly. She placed her glossy lips against my cheek and I scrunch my nose up ready for impact.
“Are you excited for the fireworks?” She whispered instead of kissing me. I pulled back slightly and cocked my head to one side.
“Fireworks?” I questioned.
“Yes? Did nobody tell you what was going on?” I shook my head and watched as she looked towards where Jay and Haz were standing. He looked so handsome. His hair was messy, he was holding his beanie in his left hand and leaning at the bar. His smile was dazzling the other people around him. His navy knitted jumper clung to the muscles on his arms and I found myself staring at him. “Well, he’s never brought anybody to watch fireworks before.” She nudged my arm softly and I snapped out of my day dream.
“Sorry, what?” She laughed as my words escaped my lips and I flushed.
“You weren’t listening to a word I was saying were you?” I smirked and shrugged.
“I,” I thought about lying and decided in that split second she’d know I was telling a lie anyway. I shook my head “no, I wasn’t.” I admitted and watched her muddy brown eyes warm instantly.
“Well he’s been a lot more relaxed lately,” I examined her expression. It was like she knew. I wondered if he’d told her what we’d been doing or if she saw straight through me. Either way I knew I couldn’t say anything that would give us away.
“That’s good.” The corners of my mouth lifted upwards and she simply sighed out loud. I watched as a crowd of people made their way out the backdoors and followed Chloe as she made her way out too. We were shortly joined by Nance who looked all flustered. The freezing November sea air knocked the breath from my lungs and sent a chill to my toes. I frowned. I had no coat and I clutched the wine glass that was in my hand tighter. I watc
hed Jay and Haz join us. Jay had the right idea. His dark grey coat was buttoned up and he smiled at me.
“Hey,” he reached out to me and hugged me softly “it’s nice to see you, you keep disappearing lately.” My head was briefly on his shoulder and Haz smirked slightly. I smiled a little and prized myself away from our friendly embrace.
“I’ve just been feeling overwhelmed, you’re all a lot to keep up with.” I chuckled, my teeth chattered a little longer and I watched Haz pull his deep red beanie over his head. I glanced down at the heels on my feet and then towards the grass and heard Nance laughed too. She was muttering something to Jay and I watched as Chlo pulled on Connors arm. He shook his head at her and I watched as Jay picked Nancy up. He was carrying her towards the bonfire through a horde of other people. I laughed to myself as I watched on lookers smile and laugh at their antics. I shook my head softly and felt my heart swell watching them. I felt his arm brush against mine a little and glanced up. He radiated heat.
“Maybe one day hey?” He smiled down at me softly and my eyes met his pools of blue.
“What? We will be loved up fools?” He chuckled and shrugged.
“Jay’s not in love, he lusts after her.” He stated. More people were now surrounding us and I felt his hand slip into mine, his thumb ran along the back of my hand and my anxiety instantly lifted. I wanted to ask him if he lusted after me. If that’s what this was. If the forbidden element of this thing between us has kept him chasing me. I couldn’t. I didn’t want the answer. I didn’t want him to tell me what I already knew. Instead I squeezed his fingers in mine softly and watched as he leaned down a little. “Get on my back? I’ll carry you down there? You’re freezing Avaya.” My teeth were chattering and he was right.
“It’s fine I don’t want anybody getting the wrong idea.” My heart felt heavy again and I watched him frown. He picked me up in one swift movement. My eyes widened instantly as I pressed against his shoulders. “What are you doing!?” I almost growled and watched his eyes light up.
