Poisoned Garden

by Tracy Korn

  He stopped abruptly and smiled at me, then stepped into his sandals at the foot of the boulder. He pulled his shirt on and started to button it up, offering me an arm when he finished.

  "I promise I won't bite," he said. "Despite the rows of enormous razor teeth I'm sure you just saw."

  I hadn't, in fact, seen any rows of razor teeth, and suddenly knowing he had such things didn't do much for my current levels of anxiety, nor for…whatever else this feeling was. I wanted to run as fast as I could in the other direction only slightly less than I felt compelled to stay with him. To get and stay as close as I could to him.

  "So, that was your dragon," I said stupidly, which made him laugh.

  "You'll see this for yourself soon enough, but if you go awhile without fully shifting, it starts to make you restless," he said, glancing over at me. "It's almost like the animal inside is trying to get out."

  "I've felt like that a few times in the last week or so," I said. "It's been a little worse since yesterday—since the hurricane berries."

  Leo nodded, pushing his hands into his pockets and raising his shoulders against the cold breeze coming off the ocean.

  "It'll get worse now that your eagle is awake in there," he said, the concept of an actual eagle living inside my body sending a jolt of fear through me. "It's all right, though," Leo continued, chuckling a little." It's just another part of you, that's all. The sooner you accept that, the easier shifting back and forth will be."

  I looked up at him, suddenly not as anxious. "How did you know it bothered me when you said that? About the eagle living inside me?"

  He looked up and scanned the hillside in the distance, then gave me a side-smile." I don't know, I just felt it I guess. Like, the temperature around you just changed, if that makes sense."

  It made more sense than he knew. Or maybe he did know? I wasn't sure if the sense of comfort I had around him was because he was the only other student on this island who knew I didn't come from the interior wall of my city—that I came from the outside, from The Grind, just like he'd come from The Ridge. Or at least, that's what he'd told me, and I didn't know why anyone would confess a thing like that when they had the chance to start fresh with new people.

  I'd only known Leo a few days, but the pull I felt to him was the opposite feeling I'd had with the Sylphs. With people who were supposed to be just like me. I couldn't even get past the initial stranger-awkwardness with them to find out where they were from…if they'd come from outside the walls of their own cities too. We never even had a chance to find out if we were alike or not, and it struck me that this was the same feeling I had back at Portland Prep. A distance of some kind that kept me back, apart from everyone else there except for Max.

  "I didn't feel right today with the Sylphs," I confessed." I don't think they believed that I was a Sylph."

  Leo's brows drew together. "What makes you think that?" he asked as a flash of lighting ripped across the sky, and seconds later, thunder cracked in the distance.

  "I don't know, it's just how I felt around Ian and Midori. And being around the other Sylphs felt like a blank feed channel, all static and noise. Not actual noise, just the feeling you'd get if there were too much of it, you know?"

  Leo nodded and smiled widely. "I do," he answered. "Spent my first year here feeling that way, but being able to help other people transition has helped a lot."

  "Why is that?"

  "It just undoes the knots I guess—whatever they are from day to day." He slowed our pace as we approached the dining hall, which came into view in the distance at the bottom of the hill.

  "I know what you mean. I want to be able to help people too—help them solve their problems."

  "How so?" he asked.

  "I want to be a psychologist," I answered. "After taking the intro in high school, I just kept taking independent study classes with the teacher so I could learn everything I could."

  Leo smiled just a little. "No wonder you're already in my head," he said, and I wasn't sure if he meant what it seemed like he meant, or if he was just trying to make a joke. "Anyway, sounds like you're probably halfway to being an expert already."

  "Not even close," I chuckled. "But I like puzzles, and that's all problems are. You can't always change your circumstances, but you can change your perception of them with the right arrangements in your head. Feels like the same thing then, I guess."

  Leo looked at me like he was trying to decide something, then seemed to come to a conclusion after a few seconds.

  "You're shift may be a Sylph, Halsey, but there's a fire inside you."

  I smiled awkwardly at the combination of the look he was giving me and the intensity of his words.

  "Thanks," I managed, which sounded pitifully inadequate the second I said it. My mind completely blanked after that, and heat filled my chest, rushed into my cheeks, and made it that much harder to think. I opened my mouth, hoping something would come to me, but I didn't have the chance before Leo's fingers brushed my cheek. They moved slowly into my hair, and as he took a step toward me, he brought his other hand to the back of my head.

  When he moved his hands back into view, he was holding two pieces of plants that looked like bright green, unwound twine.

  "Ripple Moss," he said, twirling the pieces in his fingers. "Must have fallen from one of the trees somewhere on the walk back."

  "Oh…" I said, a little relieved and a little disappointed. Prickles ran over every inch of my skin and I felt my body stiffen with the fear that wings and feathers would appear again right now, at the worst possible time.

  I took a deep breath to steady myself, the smell of him rich and comforting like a campfire. I smiled to myself because of course he smelled like a campfire. I took in another deep breath, the warm scent of him chasing away the last of the prickling sensations I'd felt.

  "What's that look?" he asked, a smile lacing his voice.

  "Nothing," I said, shaking my head. "Um, OK, that's a lie." I laughed. "I just panicked a little for a second because everything started to prickle like it did after I ate the hurricane berries, and I was worried about…well, shifting again."

  I took a step back, feeling awkward and embarrassed. Why did I even say anything?

  "You don't have to worry about that," Leo laughed a little. "It can be controlled with some practice. You just have to find a way to connect with it," he said taking another step toward me to close the distance I'd just created. "Otherwise, the build-up will just gatecrash you."

  I started to reply, trying to keep my voice steady, but he was so close to me that I could feel the heat radiating from him. "H-how do you connect with a tidal wave like that?" I swallowed, then took another breath as I stepped back again before I completely lost my composure.

  "It's funny you put it that way," he said, clearing his throat. "When it first started for me, when I first started feeling the fire building, I'd lose control because I'd try to fight it. It just took me over until I got here, and by watching the ocean, I realized it was more like water than fire. It built the same, like a swell that comes on gradually until suddenly it's just on top of you." He shook his head and turned to face the ocean beyond the edge of the cliff. "So I decided that you just can't fight a tidal wave. You can only watch it coming, and then find a way to ride it."

  Chapter 20

  Leo and I walked down the hill and through the orchard on our way to the dining hall, and I didn't ask him anything else about what he meant when he said he'd always lose control. But I hoped he would tell me.

  The dining hall was buzzing with even more people than there were this morning at breakfast. I scanned the faces for Alita, or better said, I scanned for her bright red hair. She was sitting at the same table we were at for breakfast, along with Alec, Bryce, and Rhea, none of whom I'd seen since we all went our separate ways for the welcome assembly. I wondered if Alita's first honing class was like mine—if her Gnome teacher had told her the same story about how their queen got them all kicked out of The
Garden of Eden.

  "Well, well, well," Rhea said as Leo and I approached the table. She shook her head and looked us up and down. "And where have you two been all afternoon?" she asked, raising an eyebrow. "Somebody missed third year Fire and Flight Prep."

  "I think I showed everybody this morning that I don't need that class," Leo said, returning her taunting tone.

  Everyone else at the table whistled low, stopping only when Rhea stared daggers at them. She eventually laughed it off and turned to me with a wink. "Just because he's an expert at bagging new blood he thinks he's an expert at everything."

  Alita immediately sucked in a breath and covered her mouth, her green eyes suddenly wide as she jerked her attention to me.

  "No way…" she gasped, risking a quick glance at Leo.

  Both Alec and Bryce gave each other knowing grins, then Alec slapped him on the back in some kind of congratulations.

  "Uh, no guys…" Leo started with a raised hand, but I cut him off, furious.

  "Are you actually kidding me? I've known him two days," I said, consciously having to control my volume.

  "That long? Wow…" Rhea said, mocking me with feigned surprise. "He must be thinking about proposing then." She laughed low in her throat until Leo picked a grape from Bryce's plate and tossed it at her. He laughed out loud when it went down the front of her shirt, and just that fast, the tension in the air was broken.

  "OK, so seriously did you and Leo—" Alita leaned in and whispered to me as I took a seat.

  "No!" I said loudly. Too loudly for as close as she was to me, and she visibly jumped.

  The whole table laughed even harder as she looked at me in shocked amazement. "OK, OK, all you had to do was say so."

  "I did say so…about ten seconds ago. You just—oh my god, never mind," I said, fighting to keep from calling her out for being so vapid. It's a good thing she had a Citadel wall to protect her from the real world her whole life.

  Leo must have seen me fuming because he quickly interjected. "Let's get a plate," he said, brushing his hand over my shoulder as he stood. Surprised looks ricocheted around the table, and heat rushed through me all over again.

  "Great idea," I said, glaring at everyone as I turned to head to the pasta bay, which was on the other side of the dining hall. Leo walked with me and handed me a plate once we arrived.

  "Sorry about them," he said, spooning ravioli into a bowl. "Rhea can be…petty."

  And there it was, the secret key that unlocked Rhea's apparent problem with me since I met her this morning. They had history.

  "How long have you two been broken up?" I asked, scooping spaghetti with the pronged ladle.

  "What? No," he shook his head adamantly. "No, we've never been a thing."

  "Well, she probably wants to be a thing in that case," I said, my stomach in knots about how to make this all go away because it was only my second day here. Rhea obviously had issues with me, and they were the instant-onset variety, so there was probably very little, if anything, I could do about them. I moved to the other side of Leo and put some steamed broccoli in a bowl.

  "I don't think jealousy is her problem, but I'll have a talk with her and find out what is," he said, adding a roll to his plate. "She shouldn't have set you up for all that back there, whatever her motivation was."

  "You don't have to do that," I answered too quickly. "I mean, thanks, but I can fight my own battles. Almost every girl I've ever known has been like her. She's not my first jealous-for-no-reason mean girl experience."

  "Well, if your suspicions about her are right, then I wouldn't say she has no reason to be jealous," Leo said, giving me one of those smiles that lasted a few seconds too long to be casual.

  I didn't understand how anyone could have the kind of timing he had. Every word he said either put me at ease or made me feel like at any second I was going to shoot into the sky like a rocket. And I wasn't sure what I thought about that. I'd never made time for dating with trying to get into The Citadel, not that I'd have wanted to date any of the guys in The Grind anyway. But maybe this was just what it felt like when...you did.

  I tried my best to shelve everything about that entire topic for now. I'd only been here two days—wait, two days? I let the reality of how much time that was sink in. What was I doing? Getting caught up, that's what. Getting distracted from the real insanity of finding out I had some kind of pre-human blood running through my veins. Blood that had been unceremoniously activated by a girl who took a drug, got a disease, and then passed that disease onto me when she bit me!

  That's all this was, then, I'd decided. Distraction from the upside-down new reality I was living. In psychology class back at school they'd talked about latching onto something else in times of stress—just something to take your mind off reality. That's how addictions started, as little escapes that just built up over time. And with as much as I was obsessively aware of Leo's presence, maybe I was well on my way to becoming addicted to him.

  "Halsey?" Leo said, which startled me out of my thoughts. I turned to him, surprised that we were already halfway back to the table. "There you are." He smiled. "You OK?"

  "Fine, sorry," I said, shaking off the web of thoughts I'd just tangled myself in. "My mind was just wandering."

  "Yeah, it's been a busy few days," he added. "And I have a feeling your week leading up to them was probably pretty hectic too."

  "Definitely an understatement," I said, letting myself laugh about it now that everything with Lauren and Jen was all really in the past.

  "Well, I probably didn't help all that earlier," he said, then cleared his throat and slowed his pace.

  "Oh, don't worry, no… That was—" I started, but he stopped me.

  "You don't have to do that, it's OK. I just got ahead of myself. I know that sounds like an excuse, but I'd like to get to know you. And I want to do it right." Leo came to a full stop and met my eyes. "Will you meet me tonight, before everyone else gets to the cliff? I want to show you something." I stared up at him, dumbfounded for several seconds. He suddenly dropped his eyes and started again. "I understand if you don't want to, I just thought…"

  "No!" I interrupted. "I mean, it's OK. That would be, if you want to, um—" I babbled like a full-on drunk person and had to suck in a quick breath to stop the deluge of nonsense coming out of my mouth. "Yes, is what I'm saying." I winced, pressing my lips into a hard line to prevent any more felony class dumbassery from escaping.

  Leo's mouth quirked as he nodded. "All right then. I'll come by around seven."

  "All right, it's a date," I somehow said, my blood instantly freezing in my veins. Why would I say that? It wasn't a date. It was just, meeting…together. Romantically. Maybe. But—

  "It's a date," he repeated with a little nod, effectively stopping my runaway train thoughts with a slow, impossible smile.

  "Halsey! You are screwing Leo!?" Alita literally yelled halfway across the dining hall, which made me jump so abruptly it nearly resulted in a meatball storm for everyone within a five-foot radius of me.

  The entire dining hall froze in a coordinated, gaping stare at us. It was like a flash mob, but instead of dancing, it was staring. Then it was laughing with the staring. And then I was dead.

  I sent Alita an I-will-kill-you-with-your-own-hair look, which I maintained without blinking the entire, double-timed walk back to the table.

  I put down my tray and sat about an inch from her face. "Are you actually high right now? Did you snort some kind of fake Garden of Eden stupid fruit and just yell that shit over like, five lunch lines at me?" I hissed every word through my teeth.

  She didn't have a chance to say anything before our own table erupted in laughter, and I wanted to kill everyone with my spork.

  I had no choice but to make a hand cave and put my head in it, and there, quietly wait for the fatal dose of embarrassment to smite me from existence. Rhea started laughing herself into a coughing fit, but I secretly hoped she was choking on her cabbage roll.

  In
that moment, with that realization, the aftermath of the adrenaline started to kick in—the fear after the fight or flight, and I felt my throat closing with the imminent threat of tears. They stung my eyes the second I started to panic, and then the floodgates opened thanks to my acute awareness that the only thing worse than what Alita just shouted in front of everyone would be if I sat here and cried about it in front of everyone.

  But oh, there was something even worse than that.

  My wings snapped out and cleared the tables on either side of me, and at least a dozen magical lunch eaters were all swatted to the floor, their various entrees falling like a food typhoon all around them.

  When I realized what had happened, I lost all control. My hands curved into feathers faster than they had even after the hurricane berries, and the burning sensation in my throat and eyes intensified until I couldn't see at all. Pain ripped through my whole body, sharp and abrupt. I screamed, but it wasn't my voice anymore. It was the eagle screech.

  I fell to the floor and tried to find my bearings, but no matter how many times I blinked, I still couldn't see anything but black all around me. I screamed—no, screeched again, but this time, the ear-piercing sound somehow brought my vision back. It was blurry at first, but at least I could see. I blinked several more times, and then I could see better than I ever had in my life—the individual eyelashes of everyone staring at me…each freckle, each hair follicle from clear across the room.

  I had to get up. Up…get UP, I thought, wanting more than anything to run out of there as fast as I could. I searched for the door, which in that second pulled open as someone rushed out. Get up! Run! Go, before it closes! I thought again, and the next thing I knew, I was moving fast.