by Hamel, B. B.
I throw the mug at the window.
The mug shatters into pieces with a resounding boom. The window vibrates slightly and Declan stares at me, face aghast, eyes wide.
“That will be all,” I say to Declan.
“Mason, let me say—”
“Get the fuck out, Declan, before I treat your skull the way I just treated that mug.” I turn on him, my whole body rippling with anger.
That toad doesn’t need to be told twice. He gets up and scampers away.
I turn to my office. The memory of Hazel lingers in everything I can see. I can taste her on my tongue, feeling her on my lips. I remember spanking her, just over there, fucking her, just right there. We’ve laughed together, felt together, spent hours talking together.
Now she’s gone.
There’s a knock at the door. Rogers comes in, looking concerned. “Are you okay, sir?” he asks.
“Hazel,” I manage. “Declan… he says she quit.”
He frowns. “I can’t imagine—”
“Find her.” I look at Rogers. I’m practically begging the man, but I don’t care. “Find her, Rogers. Bring her back.”
He watches me for a moment, and I see understanding pass through him. “Very well, sir. Consider it done.”
“Thank you.”
He leaves my office. I stumble back to my chair, numbly sitting down. I pour another mug of coffee in the cup that Hazel usually uses. I sip from it, staring blankly at my office.
I can still see the demons. The old dreams. Chasing after a plane I’ll never catch.
Because I’m alive, and she isn’t.
They aren’t.
I clutch my mug. I need Hazel.
But she might be gone, and I might finally be lost for good.
19
Hazel
My bright, shiny new townhouse feels more like a cave than a home.
I curl up on the couch and stare at the TV, but I don’t bother turning it on. I don’t think I could pay attention to it even if I did.
Declan is Mason’s number two. I know they’ve been having their issues lately, or at least Mason has been looking into some stuff, but he’s still running the company. If Declan just fired me, that means it had to come from Mason himself, or at least it’s sanctioned by Mason.
I don’t understand it. I thought we were moving beyond the whole employee-employer relationship and getting somewhere better. I thought that’s what all these gifts meant, this whole freaking house, everything. I thought it meant he wanted me to have a home with him, and maybe he’d come move in, too.
“What a naïve idiot,” I whisper to myself. How could I have thought that the most powerful man in the city, but also the most reclusive, would come live in this place? Even if it is decent now, it’s nothing compared to what he’s used to.
I’m nothing to him. I have to realize that. I’m just an employee, some girl he fucked and used and now is throwing away. He’s trying to bribe me with all these gifts. I bet this house is a way to buy my silence about him.
I feel so stupid. Tears roll down my cheeks but I’m not sobbing. I can barely move to sob. It’s like all the energy in my body has been sucked out of me and been replaced by embarrassment.
I really thought he wanted me.
I really, really thought it.
That whole thing was fake. It was all a lie. I think back to all the special things we did together, the sex and the touching and the commands, and it feels so forced and wrong now.
Even the way he admitted his darkness to me, his difficult past, feels fake now.
I bet he tells those sob stories to every girl he fucks. I bet he brings them all back into his amazing bedroom full of priceless art, impresses the hell out of them, and then uses them up.
I’m just another in a long line of suckers.
I curl into a ball, ready to disappear. I don’t want to die but I wish I didn’t exist right now. I wish I could go to sleep and wake up in a couple of months when the sting of this isn’t so bad and the embarrassment is faded.
Faded, but not gone. I don’t think it’ll ever be gone.
I spend the morning like that, catatonic on the couch. I just keep thinking about my time with Mason, and I can’t understand what kind of animal would do all those things, say all those things, only to throw me away like trash.
He didn’t even have the decency to fire me himself. He had his friend do it. I wonder if Declan always does Mason’s dirty work.
I can feel my skin crawling. I hide my face away under the blankets but that doesn’t help. I’m a mess, a failure, an idiot. I don’t know why I ever walked into his office and thought that I could be a part of his world.
I should’ve kept my mouth shut from the beginning. I could’ve just worked for him quietly, did everything he asked. I didn’t have to engage him, let him be my Daddy, dive deep into his world.
Get attached to him.
Fall in love with him.
The thought of that stings so bad.
There’s a knock at my door at some point. It pulls me from the abyss I’m dropping deeper into. I groan and ignore it, but the knocking turns into pounding, and someone’s saying my name.
I slowly get up. “What do you want?” I call back angrily. “Go away.”
“Hazel,” the voice calls out again. Slowly, recognition blossoms. “Hazel, please open up.”
I walk to the door and pull it open. Rogers stares back at me.
“You look like crap,” he says, smiling a little.
“What the hell do you want?” I snap. “Did he send you to take back everything he gave me, too?”
Rogers sighs and shakes his head. “Nothing like that. Please, let me inside and we’ll speak.”
“No. I don’t want anything to do with you people anymore.”
“Hazel. You don’t understand the situation. We can’t speak of it out here, so please, let me inside.”
I hesitate, but grudgingly step aside. Rogers walks into my living room, somehow making it seem shabby despite being recently renovated and completely modern. He turns to me as I shut the front door.
“Mason sent me here,” he says.
“Why?” I ask.
“He wants you to come back, Hazel.”
I stare at him. “Why?” I repeat. “Declan fired me. I’m sure Mason knew all about it.”
“No, he didn’t,” Rogers says softly. “Declan is going off on his own now, and things are about to get chaotic at the company. You’re just an innocent victim of Declan.”
Hope slowly blossoms, but I try to keep it at bay. “What are you saying?”
“Mason didn’t want you to be fired, that was all Declan’s doing. He fired you to hurt Mason, because he knows how important you are to him.”
I cross my arms. “I don’t know if I believe you,” I say.
“Hazel, listen to me.” Rogers steps closer, speaking softly. “I’ve been with Mason for a long time now. He’s a good man, but he’s… flawed. Things have happened in his past that have pushed him into his current position. But you’re starting to wake him up again.”
I frown a little at that. “Wake him up?”
“I’ve never seen him so happy,” Rogers says, laughing. “At least not since the accident. When you’re around, he’s just… brighter. Before, it was all darkness and gloom and doom. He was so disconnected from the world that I’m pretty sure I was the only thing keeping him around at all. Now, though, ever since you came into his life, he cares again. He’s starting to come back.”
“Is this real?” I ask him, feeling stupid all over again, but stupid for another reason.
Stupid for doubting Mason.
“It’s real,” Rogers says softly. “Please, come back to the tower with me. You can speak to Mason yourself.”
I hesitate. It’s only been a few hours, but in that time, I feel like I’ve fallen into a deep hole in the ground. I’m afraid that if I go back with Rogers, and it turns out that Mason doesn’t actually want me,
I’ll be destroyed forever.
It’s possible. I can’t pretend like it isn’t.
And yet I want to go with him. I want to go so badly it hurts.
He smiles and holds out his hand. “Trust me, Hazel,” he says. “You’re going to want to come with me.”
I take a breath and let it out. Maybe I’m stupid, but he’s right.
I really, really want to go with him.
“Let me get myself cleaned up,” I say, and he nods.
“Take your time.”
I head upstairs. I’m a mess, but I do my best to get myself together. When I’m done, I’m in some semblance of shape, and I don’t think I’ll be embarrassed for Mason to see me right now.
At least I don’t look like a crying mess like I did ten minutes ago.
Roger sits waiting patiently on the couch for me to return. “Ready?” he asks.
“Ready.”
He smiles. “You look great. He’s looking forward to seeing you.”
“Lead the way.”
We leave my house and step out onto the street. Rogers ushers me into a town car, closes the door behind me, and gets behind the wheel.
It takes him just a few minutes to drive to the tower. He parks in the underground garage in a spot right next to the executive elevator.
“We’ll be skipping that for now, unfortunately,” he says as I glance at the call button. “Declan will be watching.”
“What’s happening with that?”
Rogers sighs. “Oh, just the usual. Declan is trying to push Mason out and Mason is busily destroying him.”
I gape as Rogers grins and leads the way over to the stairs. We start walking in silence as my head buzzes with this new information.
I knew Mason was looking into what Declan’s been up to, but the idea of Declan trying to push Mason out seems so absurd. I mean, it’s Mason’s company, it has his own name. He’s the man behind it all.
Then again, Mason has been holed up in his office and his apartment for years. I bet nobody sees that man ever. I’m probably one of two other people to have a face-to-face meeting with Mason in a long, long time.
Slowly things click into place. If Mason and Declan are actually enemies, then that would explain why Declan fired me and why he did it the way he did. Declan couldn’t come up to Mason’s inner sanctum, but he could force me into public and push me out there.
I’m such a fool. I should’ve seen this, but I was so blinded by embarrassment. I didn’t even know Mason was going through something.
We trudge up the steps. We get up twenty flights before Rogers finally groans and opens a door. “Come on, we’ll get on here,” he says. “I don’t think I’ll make it much further.”
I’m not in any better shape, so I don’t argue. We call the elevator and ride it up to the top floor where Rogers uses his card to get us through security. One more flight of stairs and we’re in the old familiar room outside of Mason’s office.
“Let me buzz him,” Rogers says, going over to his desk. He picks up his phone. “She’s here,” he says, and looks at me with a smile. “Go in,” he mouths to me.
I nod and walk over to the big double doors. My heart’s beating so fast as I push them open.
Mason’s sitting at his desk, looking gorgeous as usual. I shut the door behind me and face him, head bowed.
He stands and comes around the desk.
“Hazel,” he says in a stern voice.
“I’m sorry, Daddy,” I say softly. “I didn’t know…”
I can’t explain anymore, because Mason comes up to me and wraps his arms around my body, pulling me tight against him.
I’m so stupid. I don’t know why I ever questioned this, even for a second. Being here again, feeling him hug me tight, I know what’s true and what isn’t.
It’s real, all of this is real. I thought it might be some kind of lie, but I was just being stupid.
I was just afraid of losing something important to me.
“I’m sorry,” he says softly. “I promise, nothing like that will ever happen again.”
“It isn’t your fault,” I say softly.
“Yes, it is. You should have my number, you should know how to contact me.” His voice is tight, his eyes harsh. He pulls back and looks at me. “I’m just… I can be stupid sometimes.”
“You’re not being stupid. You’re being careful.”
“Sometimes they’re the same thing.” He sighs and kisses me softly. “Declan should never have fired you. He’s going to be taken care of.”
“What’s going on?” I ask him.
He leads me back to his desk and sits me down in a chair. He sits next to me, stretching with a slight groan.
“Declan didn’t like me snooping around,” he says softly. “I’ve been noticing things, money missing, bad things. I’ve been following the leads and it’s all been pointing right back at him. I think he finally realized that the game was over.”
“So he’s trying to take over the company?”
Mason shrugs. “More or less.”
“How? You own it.”
“Not entirely. I own a large portion of the shares, but not all of them. I’m a member of the board, but I haven’t actually been at a meeting in years. I suspect the board listens to Declan.” He grins a little bit. “Or at least he thinks they do.”
I can’t help but smile. “He’s not going to win, is he?”
“No, he’s not,” Mason says. “At the end of the day, you’re right about one thing. This is my fucking company.”
I laugh softly, unable to help myself. This has been a crazy rollercoaster day and I don’t really know how to handle anything else. My emotions are so fragile, I might shatter at any moment.
“Come here,” he says, smiling at me. I slowly get to my feet and walk over to him.
He pulls me into his lap. I haven’t sat in a man’s lap in a long time but for some reason, this feels right. I wrap my arms around his neck and he pulls me closer.
“Listen to me, Hazel,” he says softly in my ear. “I’m not going anywhere. Do you understand?”
“Yes,” I whisper back. “I understand, Daddy.”
“Good.” He smiles and kisses me softly, slow and sweet. “Now, go stand behind my desk.”
“Yes, Daddy.” I get up and walk over to the spot. He smiles and follows, sitting in his chair.
“Enjoy the show,” he says, and calls Rogers, a big grin on his face.
20
Mason
Nobody fucks with me.
I’ve been a recluse for a long time. I’ve been away from society, and I think people have forgotten what kind of man I am. Declan certainly forgot.
I’m not the kind of man people fuck with. When they come for me, I come for them twice as hard. I destroy anything in my path if it comes to that.
But most of all, you don’t fuck with my woman.
Declan firing Hazel was a low blow. He knew that wouldn’t stick. He did it just to piss me off and to hurt her, and it fucking worked. I hate that he was able to get at me like that, but it doesn’t matter.
I’m going to finish this now. No more bullshit, no more investigating. Declan is dead to me. He signed his own death certificate the moment he fired Hazel.
I lean back in my chair and wait. I can feel her hovering behind me, and my smile gets wider. She’s exactly what I’ve wanted, what I’ve needed. Everything about her makes my day brighter.
Everything is perfect when we’re together. It’s a feeling I haven’t had in a long, long time.
I’m ready to have it again. I’m ready to move on.
I’m ready to take a step in the right direction and finally embrace living all over again.
Rogers comes in, followed by Declan. The two men look at me, both of them grave. I nod at Rogers and he nods back, leaving the room and shutting the door behind him.
Declan stands in front of my desk. His eyes flit up to Hazel and there’s a moment of annoyance in his expression. I savor th
at, although it’s not enough, not nearly enough.
“The game’s over, Declan,” I say finally.
He cocks his head. “Game?” He laughs softly. “This is no game.”
“Of course it’s a game. You think you can spin your little webs in the shadows, that I won’t notice sooner or later. You got brazen, Declan.”
“You got soft,” he says, almost a growl. “You used to be a fucking king here, but look at you now. You’re bowing to this fucking girl.”
I clench my fists. I want to get up and pummel him but I control my emotions. He’s trying to provoke me.
It almost works. It would feel so sweet to destroy him with my bare hands.
“What I don’t understand is why you decided to turn against me? I gave you everything.”
He barks a laugh. “You gave me opportunity, that’s true. But then you locked yourself up in this fucking office and forced me to do all your real dirty work. While you got to make big, global deals over the fucking phone, I was spending my days making sure the office was running smoothly, that our trades were going through. I was the goddamn company while you pretended and got all the fucking credit.”
I laugh softly. “It’s about ego then.”
“It’s about justice.” He snarls, barely containing himself. “You left me, and even though I continued to grow your company, you never gave me the credit I deserved.”
“So you decided to stab me in the back and steal from me.”
“I decided to take what I deserve. But that doesn’t matter.”
“No?” I arch an eyebrow. “I think it matters a lot.”
“No, Mason, because you’re through here. The board’s voting right now to strip you of your power and place it all in my hands.” He smiles at me like he’s won some kind of victory. “Of course, I’ll let you keep your apartment up here. I wouldn’t want you to have to face the real world.”
I stare at him for a moment before laughing softly. I glance up at Hazel and I can see the worry in her eyes, and I can’t blame her. What Declan just said sounds very bad for me.
Except it’s completely wrong.
“What the fuck are you laughing at?” he snaps. “I’ve been courting the board for years while you never bothered to speak with them. They’re on my side, completely.”
