by Erika Wilde
“I see you got roped into babysitting,” he commented, amazed that the baby could sleep through the loud music blaring out of the speakers.
“I offered my services.” She glanced down and drifted her fingers over the soft tufts of blond hair on the little girl’s head in a loving gesture. “Jennifer was getting fussy and I thought I’d give Jo and Dean a break so they could enjoy a few dances without worrying about the baby.”
“That was nice of you.” Then again, he wasn’t surprised. The woman had a generous, giving heart.
She shrugged. “Considering the very busy day she had, all it took was a few sips of milk from her bottle and she was out like a light.”
Noah highly suspected that Natalie’s maternal instincts had a lot to do with why his niece was cuddled so trustingly in her arms, as well. He experienced a twinge of envy as he took in the way Jennifer’s cheek was pressed to Natalie’s soft breast. He knew from personal experience just how comfortable those twin pillows could be.
He looked out toward the dance floor, finding his sister and brother-in-law enjoying the tunes being played. Jo was obviously teasing Dean over something that made the other man unexpectedly grab her around the waist and twirl her around in a series of fancy dance moves, which made Jo laugh out loud. Her blue eyes sparkled, and Noah loved seeing his sister so happy, and no longer allowing past mistakes to dictate her future. Both Noah and Cole had Dean to thank for Jo’s transformation and considered him as much a part of the family as another sibling.
“Jo and Dean seem to be having a good time,” he said, speaking what was on his mind.
“Hmm, so am I,” Natalie replied, her gaze never leaving the baby in her arms. She pressed a finger against Jennifer’s tiny palm and the little girl instinctively clutched Natalie’s finger in her sleep. Natalie sighed, the sound rife with longing. “Isn’t she just the sweetest thing you’ve ever seen?”
Leaning close, Noah nuzzled Natalie’s neck, inhaling deeply of her warm, feminine fragrance tinged with the scent of baby powder. “After you, yes.”
She shivered and cast him a look filled with sensual promise…for later. “You know how to say all the right things, don’t you.”
He grinned rakishly. “I speak the truth.”
She rolled her eyes and returned her gaze to Jennifer. “Just look at her, Noah. She’s so perfect.”
“That’s because she’s sleeping,” he said, a teasing inflection in his tone. “You obviously haven’t been on the receiving end of her crankiness. Jen takes after her mother. When she’s in one of those moods, she reminds me of Jo when she’s ticked off.” He shuddered for effect.
Soft laughter escaped Natalie. “You are so bad.” She met his gaze, suddenly growing serious. “Holding her in my arms, I realize that I want a big family someday, especially since I was an only child and didn’t have any siblings. I want that, for me and our children.”
Our children. Oh, wow. Her reference to them having babies together struck him square in the chest, toppling him a bit off balance emotionally. He wanted things with Natalie that he’d never dreamed possible, never allowed himself to believe could be his. A wife. Babies. A family of his very own. It all seemed so close, so within his reach…yet they were living a lie, and their relationship was still precarious at best.
“What about you, Noah?” she asked, her question definitely calling for an answer, especially since she believed they were engaged to be married and a discussion about kids would be perfectly normal. “Do you want a big family?”
He swallowed hard and dredged up the most honest response he could put together. “Yeah, when the time is right, I would love a big family.”
She gave him a soft, lingering kiss on his lips. “I’m glad we agree on that.”
Minutes later, Jo and Dean came up to the table, breathless and looking like newlyweds themselves, and Noah was grateful for the interruption, which distracted Natalie from more talk about babies.
“I think us old married folk are going to head home and put the little one to bed,” Dean said.
Noah witnessed a shared look between the couple and saw Dean’s excuse for what it was…the chance to spend a romantic evening with his wife. Noah understood, because he couldn’t wait to get Natalie alone, either.
Natalie brushed her lips over Jennifer’s brow, then glanced up at Jo. “If you ever need a babysitter, just let me know. I absolutely adore her.”
“Thank you for the offer. And judging by how content she looks, I think the adoration is mutual.”
Dean gathered up his sleeping daughter while Jo collected the baby paraphernalia on the table and dumped it into the diaper bag. With one last goodbye, the trio exited the party, leaving Noah and Natalie sitting alone at their table.
Just as the band switched to a slow ballad, Noah picked up Natalie’s hand and caressed his thumb over her knuckles. “How about one last slow dance before we head home, too?”
She nodded and stood. “I would love that.”
He led her out to the parquet floor where only a handful of other couples were enjoying the music and pulled her tight into his embrace. She wrapped her arms around his neck and flowed into him, breasts to chest, thighs to thighs. He splayed a hand at the small of her back and aligned their hips, too. Their bodies brushed with every movement, heightening the awareness between them.
Natalie looked up at him, her gaze searching his in the dim lighting. “Noah…when are we getting married?”
Her unexpected question startled him for a moment. Then frustration settled in. It was getting more and more difficult to keep up the pretense between them, to continue to let Natalie believe something that just wasn’t real, no matter how much Noah wished otherwise. “We haven’t set a date yet.”
“Maybe we should,” she said, smoothing her hand beneath his suit jacket, her palm coming to rest over his rapidly beating heart. “That way I can have something to look forward to and start planning.”
He hated denying her anything, but refused to put such a life-altering change into motion when their engagement was based on fabrications. And more and more he wanted their relationship based on reality, truth, and trust. “When your memory returns we’ll talk about it,” he said, giving her at least that much. “I promise.”
She released a soft sound teeming with impatience. “There you go again, coddling me.”
He allowed a slight smile to make an appearance. “I’m not coddling you. I just think that discussing a wedding date isn’t as important as making sure you’re better and your memory is back to normal.”
It was obvious by her determined expression that she disagreed. “All right,” she finally relented. “But just for the record, I don’t have to like your way of thinking.”
He chuckled at her bit of defiance and tucked her head against his chest. “I didn’t expect you to, sweetheart.”
As the music played, she softened against him, as much a part of him as the steady beat of his heart. And that’s when he knew that he couldn’t go on like this, deceiving her with their relationship, playing with her emotions. The complete truth had to be told, their circumstances and feigned engagement explained, even at the risk of losing her.
But first he wanted one last night with her.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
Less than an hour later, Noah shrugged out of his formal jacket, tossed it onto the chair in the corner of his bedroom and locked gazes with the woman who made him hard with wanting. “Have I told you how incredibly sexy you look in that dress you’re wearing?”
With a sensual smile curving her lips, she closed the distance between them, tugged his bow tie loose and dropped it to the floor. Then she started in on the buttons of his dress shirt, her warm lips kissing each inch of skin she bared. “Yeah, you have, and I do believe you made mention of wondering what I’m wearing beneath it, too.”
“So I did,” he said huskily, helping her as she pushed his shirt off his shoulders, down his arms and off. “Is that an invitation to find ou
t?”
Laving one of his nipples with the flat of her tongue, she unbuckled his belt, pulled his zipper carefully over his enormous erection, and let his trousers fall around his bare feet. His boxer briefs followed, which he promptly kicked aside, leaving him completely naked while she remained fully dressed.
“Consider it an invitation, a dare, a challenge.” She knelt in front of him, her palms sliding down his hair-roughened thighs as she went. “I’m game for any or all three.”
He chuckled at her playful reply, then groaned as she wrapped her fingers around his aching shaft and stroked him from base to tip, drawing a bead of clear fluid from the head of his cock. Pulling the clip from her hair, he tangled his fingers in the spill of silky strands and dared her to indulge in a more carnal intimacy.
He watched his fantasy unfold as her lashes drifted shut, her lips parted, and she enveloped him in the wet heat and suction of her mouth. She teased him with her tongue, drawing him deeper still, and when she moaned in the back of her throat, the sound vibrated along his shaft and threatened his control.
Effortlessly, she’d taken over the reins of tonight’s seduction. She pushed him to the brink, testing his restraint not once, but twice, before she finally stopped, leaving him full and throbbing for release. Refusing to go there without her along for the ride, he pulled her back up and captured her mouth with his, taking over with a challenge of his own.
Their tongues tangled and mated as he tugged the sleeves of her dress all the way down her arms. With a helpful shimmy of her hips, the material slid the rest of the way off her body. When he finally stepped back and looked his fill of her, standing there in a strapless bra, barely there thong panties and silky thigh-high stockings, the first thought that filled his mind was that she was a sexy centerfold come to life. His own personal playmate to enjoy and devour.
“This was definitely worth waiting for,” he murmured appreciatively.
Dipping his head, he traced the full swells of her lush breasts with his tongue while reaching behind her to release the catch on her bra. The garment fell to the floor, and he latched onto a taut nipple, sucking her as his name tumbled from her lips. He cupped her other breast in his palm, fondling the warm, resilient flesh until the dual assault had her body twisting against him and her fingers digging into the muscles of his back.
He straightened, and with a hot, deep kiss he guided her back toward the foot of the bed and onto the center of the mattress. He didn’t join her just yet, too enthralled by the sight of her lying there. Her breasts rose and fell with each deep breath she took, those insubstantial panties covered her feminine secrets, and the provocative stockings encased her long, slender limbs.
Hooking his fingers beneath the thin strings at the sides of her thong, he dragged the damp scrap of fabric down her legs while his lips pressed hot, moist, openmouthed kisses up her thighs. His tongue tasted, his teeth marked her, and she writhed and moaned under his ministrations.
Once her underwear was off, she automatically opened her stocking-clad legs, issuing him the final invitation to come inside her. He did, using his tongue and fingers to take her to the edge of orgasm. Again and again, he teased and tormented her with the promise of an explosive climax, just as she’d done to him.
When he was confident that she was primed for him and a few strokes away from release, he rolled on a condom and knelt between her legs. But instead of driving into her as she seemed to expect, he shoved a pillow beneath her bottom, raising her pelvis higher, and draped her thighs over his so that his pulsing cock nestled against the slick opening of her sex.
She looked up at him, a sultry smile on her lips. “You have a thing for pillows, don’t you.”
“It gives me better leverage, and deeper access.” His hand smoothed down her flat stomach and his thumb pressed against her swollen clit, making her groan and grip the covers at her sides. “Do you mind?”
“Not at all. I’m all yours, to do with as you please.” She dampened her bottom lip with her tongue and asked, “Aren’t you going to take off my stockings?”
“No, I don’t think I am.” His other hand trailed over the strip of bare skin where the lacy bands of her stockings ended, and his stomach muscles constricted in restraint. “I find the contrast of sheer black nylon against your pale, creamy flesh highly erotic.”
She blinked lazily, sensually. “You make me feel erotic.”
Aching to be inside her, he pushed forward, watching as the entire length of his cock disappeared into her body. She made a small sound of pleasure as he buried himself to the hilt, though he didn’t move or thrust, just savored the heat and tightness and wonder of being such an intimate part of her.
Keeping his finger on that pulsing nub of flesh at the hood of her sex, he lifted his gaze to hers. Now that he was inside her, he didn’t want this moment to end, though he knew it was inevitable. But before he sent them both soaring, he needed to know what was going through her mind, what was happening in her heart.
“What else do I make you feel?” he murmured, arousing her all over again with the slow, slick slide of his fingers.
“Desired,” she whispered breathlessly, moving against him in an instinctive motion that drew him deeper. “And cherished.”
Unable to hold off any longer, and done tormenting them both, he gave her body what it craved, using a firm, seductive touch to make her unravel. He watched her beautiful expression as she came, savoring her soft cries of completion, determined to devote everything about this passionate moment, this woman, to memory, and praying she did the same.
Before the contractions ebbed completely, he moved over her, pressing her deeper into the mattress with the weight of his body, and the heavy, rhythmic glide of his thrusts. He entwined their fingers at the side of her head and she locked her heels at the base of his spine, the tilted angle of her hips granting him deeper penetration and greater friction.
She gasped as he pumped harder, higher, and he watched ecstasy play across her features as yet another orgasm convulsed through her. She quivered beneath him, her inner muscles tightening around his length, milking him with exquisite spasms and coaxing him over that razor-sharp edge of pleasure with her. Arching into her one last time, he tossed his head back with a low, primal growl and gave himself over to the branding heat and scorching climax that jolted down his spine and rocketed through his veins.
Utterly drained, he lowered himself fully on top of her, heartbeat to heartbeat, and kissed her tenderly, deeply, loathe to separate their bodies and shatter the cocoon of intimacy that was theirs alone to share. Possibly, for the very last time.
Minutes later, he lifted his head and smoothed her hair away from her face. “Are you okay?”
A soft smile curved her lips. “Mmm, never better.” Her fingers touched his jaw, his lips, and she suddenly grew very serious. “I love you,” she whispered, the truth of her emotions shining bright in her eyes, along with a wealth of trust that he didn’t deserve. “I just needed to say the words out loud.”
His chest tightened in response, and he swallowed hard. “I love you, too,” he said, unable to deny what was in his own heart, as well.
She brought his mouth back to hers, sealing the profound moment with a slow, languid kiss that made both of their bodies quicken with renewed desire. And as Noah proceeded to make love to her again, he couldn’t help but wonder what this night, and their declarations, would cost them both come the morning when he revealed the truth.
* * *
Noah had never been so afraid of losing anything in his entire life. From a very early age he’d learned to guard his thoughts and feelings, protect his emotions from potential pain, and form no attachments other than to his immediate family.
He’d broken every single one of those rules with Natalie, who’d gotten under his skin and filled an emptiness in him he hadn’t even known existed until her. And for the first time ever, he wanted a woman in his life permanently, was willing to risk everything to give up his solit
ary lifestyle and make a forever kind of commitment to Natalie, who was just as much of a lost and lonely soul as he’d been.
But first the truth between them had to be revealed.
Uncertainties and doubts attacked Noah’s empty stomach, invading his system like angry bees, making him all too aware of everything Natalie stood to lose, too. Inhaling a steady breath, he squeezed his eyes shut, dipped his head beneath the hot, harsh spray of water in the shower, and tried to wash away his misgivings about their upcoming conversation.
She’d told him she loved him, and while last night he’d rejoiced in the declaration, now a small, insecure part of him couldn’t stop analyzing her revelation. Did she truly love him, or did she only believe she loved him because of her amnesia and their intimate situation?
He was so damned torn and confused, he couldn’t think straight. He craved time and distance to clear his head and figure out the best way to tell her the truth—that their relationship was all a fabrication that started out as a way to protect her and ended up with him so emotionally involved he knew he’d never be the same again. No matter the outcome of their discussion.
Shutting off the shower, he dried off with a towel and quietly got dressed in jeans and a T-shirt, then socks and sneakers. He walked over to the bed where Natalie was still sleeping and took in her disheveled hair and content expression, knowing he was responsible for both. He leaned down and brushed a soft kiss across her cheek, watching as she blinked her eyes open and looked up at him with a frown.
“What are you doing out of bed and dressed?” she asked, her disappointment plain.
“It’s nine thirty, sleepyhead,” he said with a smile. “Do you plan on staying in bed all day long?”
“Maybe, if you’ll consider joining me.” Grinning shamelessly, she stretched her lithe body, uncaring of the covers that fell to her waist and revealed her naked breasts.
