by Eden Fortae
“Not the way you’re probably thinking. My mother worked to account for some of his money. That way if there was ever a raid, they could not take everything.”
“But she knew what he was into and was cool with it?”
“No, she was not cool with it. However, she loved him enough to stick by him.”
Kya turned in the seat, facing him with her brows drawn together, “Is that why we’re here?”
“No,” Antonio sighed, “we’re here so you can see me. The reason I brought you here is to help you understand why I am, as much as who I am. I could have just told you, but it would be better for you to see this with your own eyes, too.”
He hopped out of the truck, walking around it to retrieve Kya. Still thinking she did not want to be touched, he refrained from taking her hand as they walked toward the back of the building. The old brown bricks were crumbling. Some of the windows were covered by crooked wooden planks. The poor excuse for a playground behind it was covered by grown men with brown paper bags in their hands while the children played in the streets.
They stopped at the gate separating the drunk’s hangout from the sidewalk. Antonio leaned against it and smiled again as Kya did the same.
“Being born and raised in this area is different from coming here just before your teens. We didn’t know anyone, but they knew of us because of my father. To our surprise, most of the neighbors welcomed us. That did not mean we were above the slimy shit. Julie was just entering high school, but a lot of the men only saw her body. My mother and I worried about her more than anything. We were fortunate that she only lost part of her hearing and with the hearing aid, she was good, but still. I spent a lot of my free time following her to watch her back when it was Rina that needed a closer eye.”
In the bank of memories he and his family never touched, Antonio called for strength to get through it. Kya was worth revisiting it. She was worth the honesty his heart said was right to give her.
“I couldn’t be at two places at once. I tried to look out for them both, and I still failed her.” He stopped again, breathing a few breaths that were more huffs than anything. “She was supposed to walk home with her friend Ariel. Once I got home from school, I would get her from there. I had this bad feeling when I was walking to her friend’s house. I knocked three different times, and no one answered. Trying not to get too worked up, I walked toward her school as calmly as I could. That was seven blocks from here. Seven long blocks when the sun was going down around five in the evening. I remember telling myself that I was going to fuck her up when I found her. She knew the rules. She was not supposed to go anywhere after school without telling us first.”
“After three blocks, I started getting angrier. Then at the fifth block, I started worrying. Rina was only nine, but she knew better. That feeling I had, worsened when I got to her school and no one was there. The lights were on in the building, but there wasn’t a single soul there. I panicked at that point. I started running back home, screaming her name. I was just about home when I saw her jacket next to a dumpster. I knew it was hers because she glued rhinestones on the sleeves to make it ‘fabulous’ as she put it. I was scared out of my mind thinking I’d find her on the other side of that dumpster or in it. I screamed her name. Again and again, hoping that if she were there, she would answer. It’s stupid, I know, but I was only eleven, and all I had was hope.”
Kya’s hand slid over his that was holding onto the top of the gate for dear life. The tension in his body loosened, but only a little.
“You don’t have to tell me this.”
“But, I do. I need to.”
She nodded slowly and kept her hand in place. The warmth doing more for Antonio than she knew.
“I was screaming her name in that dark alley. Losing my mind while trying to be a man about it by not crying. Then, I heard her say my name. Rather than walking around the dumpster, she came up behind me. I noticed her clothes right away. Her shirt was ripped, and the pants she was wearing were two sizes too big. Then… then I saw her face. Blood was packed under her nose, and her lower lip was swollen. She ran at me bawling her eyes out. I held onto her so tight that I can still feel her trembling against me. I can still hear her crying for my father. I asked her what happened and all she could do was cry. That was when I saw the boy behind her. All I saw was the blood on his shirt and on his face, and I went off. Finally letting go of Rina, I charged at that motherfucker and started wailing. I heard her telling me to stop and him claiming his innocence, but I was too pissed to stop. He was lucky Donny had detention that day.”
With a light chuckle, he shook his head, “That asshole hit me with one punch and got me off of him. I was laying on my back like a little bitch, holding my jaw when I heard him say he saved her. Then Karrina comes in like, ‘It’s true, Tony. Another boy jumped on me. He helped me and was about to walk me home when I heard you calling.’ I felt stupid as shit. Justified, but stupid. You know what he did next? He helped me up and introduced himself. After I flipped on his ass, he held out his hand to me, told me his name, and then walked with us to our building. Christian has been around ever since. Till this day, neither he nor Rina will say what happened. The fact that she never spoke to Ariel again and had on Christian’s pants leads me to believe that she was…”
“No,” Kya whispered. “No, she would have told you that. You’re too close for her to keep that kind of a secret from you of all people.”
“I thought the same thing, but then after I started having problems with your father and pig patrol years later, I saw a sign that she might have. This cop came by the apartment looking for me. I watched from the cracked door as he lied to Rina saying he could lock her up for not telling him where I was and all the gory details about what would happen if he did. In the same breath, he told her he would spare her if she worked with him and I saw how she reacted to his closeness. Her entire body stiffened, and she started shaking. It was like… like she was reliving something.”
Antonio went silent as if he had traveled back to that day, as well. The world around him faded and he saw his baby sister in the doorway, her lips quivering while that bloated white cop twirled her hair around his finger. Rage consumed him. He should have killed that bastard on the spot. He should have gutted the sorry motherfucker and painted the wall with his blood.
“Tony?”
So sweet. A voice so sweet broke through his murderous haze. In both of his eyes, unshed tears stung. He didn’t cry. Men like him cried for nothing, yet the thought of what his family endured angered him so much that the reaction was unavoidable.
“Do you understand now, Kya? I had to get us out of here. If not for the sake of being in better conditions, then to save my sisters. The people that worked for my father had so much respect for him that when I went to them saying I’d run drugs for them if they took care of that pig for me, they turned me away. I begged them, they heard me. I had to show them that I was serious and I did. Within a month I was bringing in so much money that I was qualified for elevation over men with kids my age. They held up their end of the deal and let me watch them skin him alive. Till this very day, Kya, I feel like I owe them my life because they got rid of that motherfucker. I could not let anything happen to Rina, again. I wasn’t there before, so I had to make up for it. You said I can’t use the past as an excuse now, but I am still my past.”
“No, you’re not. You’re not that helpless boy trying to fill a man’s shoes, Tony. You’re the man that provided for his family and gave them better. I probably don’t have the right to say any of this to you, but as someone who is on the outside, I witnessed the love that all of you have for each other. Not once did I see anything that would have ever detailed the things you just told me. You did that. You made it that way. You’re better than your past.”
Through still blurry eyes, Antonio looked down. In her, he saw how much she believed what she was saying and how much she believed in him. What had he done? What on Earth had he done to deserve this w
oman in his world even if it was temporary? This lone rose in a barren field of dead, discolored grass.
Turning to face her, he clasped her chin between two of his fingers, no longer caring if she saw how close he was to that weak emotion moments before. Tenderly, he kissed her lips and let the feeling linger until he regained his composure.
“I just wanted you to see my reasons. There is nothing I won’t do for my family. They mean that much to me. You’re beginning to mean just as much to me. I hate it and want it all at that same time. So, we both have things to think about. I just hope it leads us to each other.”
“Does anyone know what this is about?”
The only answers were grunts and heads shaking heads. Earlier in the day, Antonio called for a meeting at his house after everyone got off. Being that Donny worked alongside Antonio, he had the opportunity to read his cousin’s demeanor after that text. Something was up. All day, he seemed in his thoughts and not in the mood to be social. Jokes were not met with laughter or the slightest crack of a smile. Something was going on, and he suspected it had something to do with the pretty brown girl social media was obsessing over.
Jermaine crossed the room, folded his arms over his chest and leaned against the wall.
“Don’t look at me.” Donny’s hands went up defensively. “I don’t know shit. Hell, I’m still trying to figure out why this pendejo beside me is copying my hair.”
Christian looked up from his phone, face twisted. “Me? Copying your hair? You are aware that you gel yours while my natural curl pattern grows this way after being cut, right? If anything, you want to be like me.”
“And be in love with la chica loca? Fuck that! She’s family, and that’s bad enough. I can’t imagine having to sleep beside her.”
“What’s wrong with my baby?”
“Everything is wrong with your baby.” Jermaine piped in. “Remember what happened when we had that party, and some chick got a little too close when wishing you a happy birthday? Rina grabbed that girl by her hair, pull her head all the way back, and threatened her.”
Donny laughed, “she told that girl she had two seconds to get away from her man before she summoned the spirit of Ike Turner and beat her ass until she sung the song right.”
Jermaine smiled, shaking his head, but Christian wasn’t as amused.
“You bitches are just jealous. Leave my baby alone.”
“Speaking of baby,” Kash finally moved away from the window to join them. The entire time that they had been waiting for Antonio to come back down to the living room, he had been silent. Seemingly irritated by the fact that they were there. “You think that’s why he called us here? To tell us he knocked up his little piglet?”
Donny looked up at the stairs. Piglet was a term the streets coined for children of cops. It was meant to be a bad thing. A slur or an insult that if his cousin heard anyone call Kya, he would have flipped.
“No,” Christian answered before he could, “you know he doesn’t want kids, and if you’re smart, you’ll never call her that, again.”
“Why? Because he’s so hard up for this bitch that the truth would hurt his feelings?”
“Because she did nothing to you and there is no reason for you to disrespect her like that.”
Shit was becoming too serious too quickly. Christian was the peacemaker in their circle and always had been, but he apparently wasn’t feeling the jabs at Kya. Donny picked up on the tension in his shoulders as soon as the word was spoken.
Maybe the girl did have some kind of magic powers. So far, she worked on three of the five. Four if Donny was honest with himself. What little time he spent around Kya, he could sense something so good in her that it took away his initial fears that she would be his cousin’s downfall. He could admit that to himself but was not ready to go to bat for her just yet. Not like Chris was.
“She didn’t have to do shit to me personally. I call it like I see it. Javier has been out for how long, now? And Rich has not come around to fuck with us? Why? Because he has his daughter doing it for him. Antonio’s being played, and you are too, obviously.”
“That’s an interesting theory, Kash.” Antonio’s heavy voice wafted down over the railing to where they sat. Donny’s immediate reaction was to stand just in case he swung as soon as he was close enough. If Kash’s heavy ass was going to go sailing backward, Donny did not want him in his lap. However, as Antonio approached them, he had his hands in his pockets and stopped just where the hall and open concept living room met.
“I, too, have questioned why Rich has not been a pain in my ass and if Kya was the reason. Then I heard from one of my boys in blue and learned that Rich is just biding his time. Don’t you go missing him, too, much. He’ll be a pain in our asses soon enough.”
“That’s why we needed to meet?” Thankfully Chris had perfect timing, yet again.
“I wanted to meet to discuss a decision I may be making. Over the last few days, I have been doing a lot of thinking. The whole reason I turned to the streets was to better the situation for my family. Now that they’re good and I have Anthony to be a role model for, I think it’s time to walk.”
“Are you fucking kidding?” Kash damned near shouted.
Antonio shot him a glance, fleeting and unmoved. “At this point, all of us have something to lose, and there are only two ways this could end if we keep going. I think we should walk away before either has the chance to happen.”
Kash sounded as if he would choke on his laughter while Jermaine and Donny allowed Chris to take the lead.
“Can we do that? Just walk?”
Antonio shrugged, leaning on his left shoulder against the wall. “I haven’t spoken to Arturo yet, but I don’t see why we can’t as long as someone gets bumped up in our places. He’s been looking out for us for years. He had his people in prison watching Javier’s back. I don’t think he’ll take issue with us ending things.”
Again, Kash started laughing, but he clearly wasn’t finding anything funny. “Let’s be real, Tonito. You haven’t been thinking about your family. You’re thinking about your dick and how to keep that piglet on it.”
That was another oh-shit moment making Donny react with necessary steps. Antonio’s eyes hardened. He pulled away from the wall with a threatening stance.
“¿Disculpe? You got a problem with Kya that I need to fix?”
“The only way you can fix my problem, Tonito, is to drop that bitch off in the ghetto where you found her.”
There were two sides to Antonio’s anger. The apparent anger that gave you the chance to prepare for a fist to the face and then the calm, cool, anger that usually occurred before he blacked out and they had to clean up a mess. The last time he was that mad, Anthony’s father punched Julie in the stomach to cause a miscarriage. That ended with two of them having to pull Antonio off of him and Chris driving the bloody bastard to the emergency room with a promise for if he did not stay away from Julie.
The way he stared at Kash with a crazed expression in his eyes had them all on high alert.
Jermaine had already made his way to Antonio’s side. He matched each of his steps while using his body to protect Kash. Chris and Donny stood where they were, unsure of what to do or what Kash was thinking. Up until that moment, there had only been speculation as to how Antonio really felt about Kya. Now there was a clear understanding. He wasn’t playing any games when it came to that girl, and the disrespect wasn’t going down either.
“The ghetto where I found her?” The laughter continued as he came to a complete stop. Antonio let his eyes settle on Jermaine and in a split second, he sidestepped him and landed a blow to Kash’s jaw that filled the room with a sickening crunch. Jermaine regained his footing and prevented Antonio from taking things any further physically, but the damage was already done. Kash rolled his tongue around his jaw, and when he opened his mouth to speak, his teeth were red.
“Really, Tony? You coming at me over a bitch?!”
Antonio struggled against J
ermaine’s secure hold.
“Man, chill! We’re brothers! It’s supposed to be us against the world!”
“Us against the world until it comes to—”
“Shut the fuck up, Kash, or I’ll let him go.”
“Do what the fuck you have to do, Jay! If he has to beat my ass to feel better about this mistake he knows he’s making then so be it. But, I’m not going to let this girl ruin us! Since she waltzed her ass into our lives, he has not been the same, and you all know it. First, we’re getting ditched so he can pick her up from work and now he wants to stop the money?”
“Stopping the money? You’re making just as much working on those fucking houses with me and Donny, hermano, so I know your pockets aren’t going to take a real hit. I’ve been paying you! Paying all of you more dirty money than any other motherfucker in this game would have because you’re my brothers! I did that purposely, and when I came up, I pulled each of you the fuck up with me! Why? Because you’re my fucking brothers! Yet when I say I want to end it before something bad can happen to us, you want to disrespect her?”
Now, it was Kash that was laughing. His bloody teeth made him look like the psycho. At that moment, Kash was seemingly a man without a single care in the world, and he proved it a second after rolling his tongue over his teeth once more.
“You only want to end it because of her! You can say it’s about us, but I know. Everything in your world is going to fall apart, Tony, and she’ll be the reason. Everyone can fucking see that, but you.” With that, he walked out, slamming the door behind him. Complete silence followed his absence, questions unspoken, but lingered between them.
Jermaine was in a pissy mood. Pissier than usual. All night he was barking orders at Kya and only Kya. She couldn’t figure out why. After a while, it didn’t matter. When the time came to close up shop, she could not get out of there fast enough. As it was, she was going off a few hours of sleep thanks to being back at her own place.
