Suddenly I noticed that it was too late and the night was spreading its darkness on everything and we had to go . My father didn't come to join us and he was still discussing in the garden . We said goodbye to them and they all whispeared something without moving at all . I was so shocked that I could hardly control myself to avoid crying . Outside , I found my father so involved in the discussion that I even didn't dare approching him or showing myself to say goodbye to him .
Out of shock and emotion I was almost running on the street and my schoolmate was running after me to reach me because she was talking non-stop about this 'fortunate' meeting and this 'happy' event . I was so absorbed by my bitter thoughts that I couldn't listen to her talk , she was continually talking , she was asking questions and she was formulating all the replies . We arrived at my schoolmate home and when we were leaving each other and saying goodbye , suddenly as if she remembered something important she said :"hey look , I just wanted to say if you noticed that your mother didn't kiss you at all and didn't take you in her arms after all these years of separation , and just recieved you with such an indifference , thank god for my mother , because if I spend a single day at my aunty's home , my mother becomes so upset by my absence that when she finds me again she doesn't stop kissing me ". This remark increased my stupefaction and I felt really hurt .
That was unusual that I came back home so late , because 'grand-ma' and the 'bride' were so extremely upset and disturbed by my absence that they were all waiting for me at the door of the house , worrying about some accident happened to me , their face were colorless when they found me in such an extraordinary state of mind , speechless , shocked and stupefyied ...
...Grand-ma and the 'bride' began blaming me for coming so late at home and they were so upset that with a trembling voice asked the reason of my lateness . I was extremely disturbed and I just could mention the seance of the meeting in the municipality which lasted longer than usual and I told that I have been kept there because of the long speech of the eminent holy man . I really didn't know why I couldn't tell them the meeting with my family members in that motel . At this very moment I make a comparison in my mind between them and my biological family . This generous family which was not any relation to me , became extremely upset and anxious because of my few hours of lateness , while my real parents ,my biological ones didn't express the least emotion or affection for seeing me after nine years of separation , when they saw me , they didn't express any joy and when I left, not the least trace of sadness or regret . I couldn't realize this fact that why I was so meaningless for them .
All of these thoughts and unanswered questions were exhausting me in a way that I couldn't sleep that night neither the next nights . Also my state of mind was such a mess that I even stopped eating and I spent most of my time in my room struggling with all of this condition that I couldn't understand . Progressively the Solen family members began worrying about my health and they couldn't guess what has caused my sickness . They were sure that something extraordinary produced my depressed state and each one tried to interpret in some way my strange behaviour , 'mr.solen' my teacher believed that maybe I caught a cold and didn't feel good , the 'big brother' said pleasantly :"maybe he had ate a lot and this caused his sickness ", the 'sweet-uncle' supposed :" maybe one of his schoolmate had bought something that he wants to have the same thing " , 'grand-ma' replied :" thank god that we provide for him anything he wants the same day ". Despite of all of these 'hypothesis' the family members supposed , I didn't say a word about the reason of my disturbed state of mind , during one week I couldn't sleep or eat and this caused a real concern for the Solen family and they were seriously worrying about me . In the week-end , I was walking for myself in the garden , weighed down with grief , and the family members were sat on the terrace and were whispearing something about me , suddenly 'the bride' called me , I went toward her , then she brought me in her room and after carressing me asked kindly with her particular way of talking the reason of my concern and distress , she also promised and even swore that in all circumstances and for whatever it could be , she would help me to solve my problem . She insisted so much and she expressed so much care and attention that finally I told her the arrival of my family in the town . She remained speechless for few moments looking at me with a great astonishment , then suddenly she jumped out of joy and enthusiasm and went to inform the 'grand-ma' , then they both informed the whole family and then the loud cheerful voice of all of them filled the house . They all took me in their arms, kissed me and greeted me for such a good new and were astonished how I could keep such a joyful new for myself and remaining silent about this happy event . They all supposed that it was because of my extreme happiness for the fulfillment of my very wish and because I was shocked by this unexpected event . All of them expressed such a joy that if it was the fulfillment of their own dream of happiness .
In a hurry , 'grand-ma' and the 'bride' got ready to meet my parents in the motel . Necessarily I led them toward the motel in my most disturbed state of mind . The meeting of the two women with my mother was really spectacular . My father was not at home , neither in the garden of the motel . The 'bride' in all her simplicity and honesty approched my mother and kissed her hand with extreme respect ,'grand-ma' in her turn did the same and took my mother in her arms and kissed her and each one of the kids, 'the bride' , out of emotion and joy was in tears and after expressing all her best wishes for us , with a trembling voice said to my mother :" how cheerful I am that I see you both so fulfilled of joy and happiness , could you imagine a greatest happiness than to finding your beloved ones after years of separation and suffering ? , thank god that you finally found your lost son ". My mother necessarily because of this 'contagious' cheerful greetings of those two 'stranger' women , showed some warmth in response to the sweet talking of the two women . Grand-ma begun describing and praising all my talents , intelligence and all my skills in producing lot of artworks , adding that she intended to exhibit the collection of all my drawings and paintings she gathered , in the exhibition lounge of the school the next year and selling all of them . Also she talked about her extreme love toward me and this fact that she loved me like her own child . Meanwhile that they were talking , I was watching my siblings who were sat in a corner and that was obvious that they didn't used to have unexpected visit and they weren't familiar with this sort of encounter . They looked shy and didn't dare expressing themselves but sometimes they were looking to each other and were laughing furtively . I was so eager to talk to them that I began asking about how they were doing just like some passengers who meet each other in a bus , we talked about our knowledge and skills and so on . Grand-ma and the 'bride' were so cheerful and happy that they were expressing non-stop all their joy and happiness instead of me and my mother . My mother just agreed with them by a sign of head . It was becoming late and the two women wanted to go back home and leaving us . Not a single trace of my father , my heart was beating fast to see him again but he even didn't attempt to come and to see me after a week and didn't ask any new of me and this seemed too strange to me . Grand-ma and the 'bride' got ready to leave my mother and meanwhile they began describing the extent of my eagerness for finding my true parents , but my mother didn't let them continuing their speech and said with a quiet voice and a meaningful smile :"you know , the father of this kid , didn't like children at all " . Grand-ma , while shocked by such an answer asked :" how so he don't like children? does in the world exist something sweeter and more loveable than our own children ? in that case what does he like ...? . My mother said with the same quiet voice :" he just like himself and nothing more ". Grand-ma and the 'bride' couldn't understand a word of such an expression because it was so unfamiliar with their own mentality and the opposite of their beliefs and principles that they addressed to my mother and asked :" excuse me madam, there is something I can't realize at all , just tell m
e how did you lost him and how he has been separated from you and you didn't see him anymore and didn't search for finding him, such a helpless little kid ?" , my mother without losing her careless and calm expression replied with a sort of self-confident voice:" because since the begining we noticed his great intelligence and talents , we confided him to a boardinghouse in order he get a better education " . This answer apparently didn't convince the two women but they didn't insist more and their surprise and astonishment has been replaced once again by their cheerful expression . Then when they noticed me busy with talking and playing with my siblings , caressed my head and said :" if you want to stay with you siblings and your mother , just stay here ", before I could find a moment for answering , my mother intervened quickly and said :" of course it's better that he stays with us , but because here we don't have enough easiness for children in this motel , he can remain with you for a while till the moment we find an appropriate place for our settlement and then he can join us forever .." . Although at this moment that argument seemed to me natural and ordinary , but 'grand-ma' and her 'bride' were extremely shocked by this fact that how a mother could suffer the separation of her son once again after this reunion and after all the painful years her son has spent far from his parents and family .
Anyway I returned back to the Solen family home . For few days , this event was the subject of their discussion in the family and in their assembly with their relatives and acquaintances . The family members were all sad and sorrowful for knowing that I had to leave them anyway . My teacher and 'sweet-uncle' repeated many times that they were really sorry for such a separation after all the years I lived with them and after all their endeavour for my happiness and most of all they were really hurt because they had all a deep attachment to me and a great love and affection , but they always stressed on this fact that if they had to choose between 'their' happiness and 'mine' , of course they would choose mine , because my happiness was considered their own , even though they might suffer and be in pain for this separation . Each one tried to console the other by saying that in all cases they did what they could for my happiness and well-being and now my happiness was more important than their affective attachment to me and mattered most of all .
Few weeks were spent and I was still living with the Solen family , but meanwhile I find some free time to go visiting my siblings one or two times . One afternoon , after my school and before going home , I decided to go visiting my family in the motel . When I entered in the garden of the motel , I heard the noises of laughing and loud talking coming from the window of the room of my parents . First I thought that they had some guests and because I was a shy child by nature , I didn't want bothering them and I intended going back home , but I stayed there while hesitating , and then I realized my mistake very soon , contrary of what I was guessing they didn't have any guest but quite simply the children were just spending some good time and had lot of fun and the subject of their distraction and fun was mocking my gestures and my attitude . They were laughing so out of loud that they remained breathless . Few days earlier when I went visiting them and after feeling myself familiar with my siblings , I began singing some songs for them that I learned at school and by this I wished attracting their care and attention and also for distracting them . I thought that maybe by such an attempt they would love me and would show some kindness toward me and wouldn 't consider me a 'stranger' anymore . But now I noticed that all my endeavour for becoming familiar with them and gaining their love was not only in vain , but in the opposite , it gave them a subject for making fun of me , mocking my gestures and so creating a sort of theatre for having fun . From the window I was hearing the voice of my brother who was saying :" no no no , he didn't sing that way , but this way .." and he began singing the song I sung for them and adding some bizarre and strange noises to the 'performance', and all of them were laughing out of loud . My surprise has been increased when I noticed that my mother was sharing this joyful mockery , then I heard my sister shouting to my brother :" just follow the exact gesture , the chest forward and the neck a bit curved and then ,,,la la la ...." . This time the loud laughing was more and more expressive and in my surprise I heard my mother's laughing louder than the other's one . I was so hurt and so disappointed that the head downside I decided to go back home . But after taking some steps , suddenly my father appeared and brought me with him inside and in the room . The arrival of my father changed completely the spectacle . Each one sat at their place and showed themselves busy with something , the head down . Not a single word , not a single gesture , an absolute silence reigned on the whole room . For some second I thought that they even stopped breathing . Their mocking faces remained frozen and their look quite serious . I knew that my father was ruling the family with an absolute despotism . He 'succeeded' establish order and discipline with his serious and cold indifference on each one of the family members in a way that no one in his presence dared expressing something or moving inappropriately . The 'welcome' of my mother and my siblings was just like the previous visits , very cold and indifferent . This attitude seemed to me quite strange and unusual because I used to live in the Solen family as a center of care , attention and love , and I was so familiar with such a behaviour , such a love and care the Solen family generously showed toward me, that it produced an illusion that the biological family of a child would necessarily show much more attention and care , much more love and this very illusion incited in me my great eagerness and sensitiveness to find my 'real' family . As we were sitting , my father leaned to his pillow and my mother very discretly put a cup of tea in front of my father , as she used to do this . For the first time my father talked to me and asked about my study and about my past . As the discretion and my emotions letted , I explained to him the events I was witnessed in those troubled period of the war and the things which happened to me . When I was talking about all the hardship , the desperation and the humiliations I suffered and left behind myself , I couldn't control myself and began crying while I was telling the events happened to me in the orphanage , my throat was so knotted by my emotion that I couldn't continue and I was crying non-stop . My father with his usual indifference and coldness repeated the words of my mother and said :" this is not a reason for crying , everyone who wants becoming a great person should suffer the hardship , and because we noticed since your early ages of childhood that you were a very smart and intelligent child , we confided you to one of the best institution to care about your education under the direction of the greatest professors in order you become a very well-educated person ". My mother acknowledged his speech with some signs of head . I spent some more time with my family and beside I offered to each one a gift I bought with my little money I saved in my moneybox . Also I could revise my lessons and doing my homeworks there and then, as usual I spent few minutes in prayers and praising god . This praying ritual which was always encouraged by the Solen family and was always a subject for beeing cheered up and admired by the 'sweet-uncle' , apparently incited lot of surprise in my father , so he asked me :" hey , son , what are you doing ?" , I replied I'm praising god for all the blessings . My father looked at me with astonishment and a meaningful silence which has been communicated to the other family members and they all followed the same surprised attitude . My father didn't add a word and has been plunged in his usual indifference .
The Child of Events! Page 14
